Saturday, 12 March 2011
I am looking forward, with great anticipation, a trip back to my other home in May. I shall be visiting my 'adoring fans', back in British Columbia. One of the places I hope to be visiting is Kelowna, situated beside beautiful Okanagan Lake, in the heart of the Okanagan Valley. You can click Kelowna History to find out more.
Part of the history of Kelowna includes the legend of a lake 'monster' known as 'Ogopogo' or 'N'ha-a-itk' (pronounced Naitaka), by the Salish First Nations tribe. Naitaka means 'lake demon'. The name, Ogopogo, was evidently a parody of a British ditty and goes like this: "His mother was an earwig: His father was a whale: A little bit of head And hardly any tail-And Ogopogo was his name." For further info on Ogopogo or Naitaka, you can click on this link, The Legend of Ogopogo
Here is a photograph of my son at twenty one months old. To avoid confusion, the lady is his mother and the green creature is a replica of Ogopogo. This photo was taken at Kelowna City Park, way back in 1990.
Okay, enough of all this information. It's time for a 'serious' discussion. I tire of all the hype surrounded the 'Loch Ness Monster', or if you prefer, 'Nessie'. Because, as far as I'm concerned, Ogopogo is the most underrated and has been, for far too long, a shy and modest lake monster.
No more, I say, no more. It's time for Nessie and Ogopogo to 'battle' it out in a neutral lake to decide who is like the most awesome n' stuff, lake monster. I can see it now as the two slimy beasts go flipper to flipper in a contest to decide, once and for all, who's the mightiest of monsters from the murky deep.
So Ogopogo looks at Nessie and says, 'Hey Nessie, hows it goin eh!?' A puzzled Nessie responds 'Och aye Ogopogo! I am the amazing Loch Ness Monster, loved and adored my millions. Very few humans know who you are and they even made a movie about me! Beat that!' To which Ogopogo replies, ' Well, there's a replica of me in a park in Kelowna!'
And thus as the Canadian and Scottish fans cheer on these bitter rivals, the two lake monsters embrace and have rampant, unabashed sex. Due to this bizarre turn of events, no clear winner was realised. Although, I firmly believe, if Ogopogo had the inclination, Ogopogo would have kicked Nessie's Scottish butt so hard, that Nessie would have gone back to Scotland and drowned its sorrows in a bottle of the finest malt whisky.
'Ogopogo, the Movie', with the soundtrack that includes, 'Oh No Ogopogo' and 'Here We Go, Ogopogo, Here We Go', will be coming to a cinema near you.