Monday, 18 February 2008

Internet Service Unprovider

Hello and very good day to you. Finally, I have read the 'mountain' of mail that came thumping through my letter box. To those 'millions' of secret admirers who sent me a Valentine's Day card, thank you so much. (This may surprise you, but I made up the story about getting all those cards...even so, a guy can dream eh?)
On Sunday afternoon after spending a few hours mucking about in the garden, I decided it was time to get indoors and check out the Internet. I tried to log on and my Internet Service Provider was having none of it. It appeared that I suddenly didn't exist. Invalid password, invalid name, invalid bloody everything. Over and over I tried. Hour upon hour passed. Why didn't I just switch the thing off, and, heaven forbid, read a book?
Then an awful realisation came flowing into my head. For lack of a better way to describe it, I knew I must have my internet 'fix'. I was starting to get 'withdrawal symptoms'. I couldn't 'surf the web'. Heck the closest thing I was getting to surfing, was the 'waves' of panic that immersed me. What was I going to do?
Right then, I thought, one last try and if it doesn't work, I will phone my ISP's technical department. So with the cursor aimed on the 'sign on' bit, I gave it a nervous click. My anxiety was so enhanced that I looked away from the screen. Through parted fingers, I checked the situation on my monitor. Yahoo! (to clarify, 'yahoo' means: 'yippee' I'm online' and is not a reference to a particular ISP). I was on the 'WWW'. Thrilled with relief, I put all my account details back away. Two minutes later it crashed! If I hear the voice of 'Purdey' from the 'New Avengers' say "goodbye" one more time..I think I will resort to watching that would be Absolutely Fabulous.
After about two more hours of pratting about, my connection seems to have stabilised. However being the type not to tempt fate, I shall hastily bring this boring blog to a conclusion. To have switched on my computer and hear 'Purdey' say "Welcome to ***" ( I'll let you figure out what company it is..although the last letter of their name is 'L' and that rhymes with 'Hell') was almost music to my ears. Well it's a heck of a lot better than when I'm told "goodbye" and I haven't even signed off.
Moan over, bloody computers!


  1. Hi Klahanie,

    Well at least it did get sorted out, obviously, and another fine piece of written work.

    You could look at it this way, if t'internet had worked, you would not have had such a lovely day in your garden. You would have been humped over your keybourd and your lungs wouldn't have had all that lovely fresh air.

    Take care

    Philip (friend of the beaver)

  2. Hello Philip (friend of the beaver). I had done my time in the garden, it was becoming dark. Thus I decided to go in and check out the wonderful world of the "t'internet".
    I really should have given up and gone back outside. I can visualise me digging the 'doit' and staring at the gentle light of my solar lamps...

  3. G man, what can I say!? once again you have given me an afternoon of; 'yeah i know what you mean' and 'that's soooo true' and even a 'OMG!!! that could be me' Id love to say im sorry you life sucks but where would I get my entertainment from... id have to resort to tv. Until next time

  4. Your life reads like a comedy of error (messages) meine freund. Glad you're back blogging again, it'd be a dark day when we couldn't amuse ourselves with the lastest catastrophe to befall you.

  5. Hi Mr Beaver AKA Klahanie,

    You could try the spiritual pleasure of planting by moonlight, some say it is extremely rewarding.

    Many of the best spells are cast at such times, and they say seeds etc. are affected by phases of the moon.
    (Don't know who they are, but they do say a lot of wise things???)

    Dig for Victory

    Small and's Nappy


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.