Sunday, 2 December 2007

Real Surreal?

It has been suggested that I attempt a surreal blog. So after going outside and recharging my battery hens, I thought, "heck let's give it a try!"
Upon going back inside, I realised I needed some inspiration. Quite obviously, I contacted Obi-Wan-Knobe on my Yodaphone. "Yo Obi! what's the secret to being surreal?" Obi replied: "The Force will be with you, always.." Based on his response, I knew that perhaps I should find inspiration through my own observations of the world around me.
I decided to go back outside, neatly avoiding the test pilots from the broom factory. Maybe when folks around here say "duck" they might be referring to those pesky pilots. Which witch is which? As I continued to stroll merrily along, I came upon the dreaded 'Race against time' also known as aliens who hate clocks. They said they would love to chat with me but they were somewhat rushed. Race against time indeed. Wait 'til I introduce them to the neighbourhood watch...or..heaven forbid!..the Time Lords..who?
I walked towards the centre of town. A dude strolled up to me and asked: "do you know where I can catch a bus?" why the heck would he want to do that? Wouldn't catching a bus be a rather risky venture? Still, as the Americans say, 'whatever'. I directed him to the bus depot and wished him well.
Wandering further along I bumped into the androids with attitude. Yeah, that's right, bloody obnoxious androids. Who the hell are they to tell me in their droning, monotonous, electonically-enhanced, synthetic voices that we humans are obsolete? "Hey arrogant android! don't mess with me or I'll knock that microchip of your shoulder!"
So after another average day out in this small English town, I decided it was time to go back to my home. No inspirations for a surreal blog, just another uneventful day in this town that shares its name with a long green, leafy vegetable that is closely related to an onion and is the national emblem of Wales. Oh well, at least I knew I could go home and p**s off my teenage rebel-type son.
I got home and all was quiet. Teenage rebel was nowhere to be seen. Thus I decided to have some peaceful, relaxing , stress-free time.... Crash! "What the heck what that?" I rushed into my front room and noticed a huge hole in the ceiling. "Oh howdy neighbour, nice of you to drop in. I realise I must be careful what I say to you. So would you mind just moving off to the side while I deposit eggshells on my carpet?"
Before I go, exciting news. I've been offered a part in a local play. Easy work, great money. "What's the catch?" I asked. No catch, I was assured. They need someone to play the part of a motionless strings attached.


  1. Well Gary, you have gone and done it, good to take advantage of your "Round tuit" and get around to it!!!!
    A shot in the dark, oops! missed, but sounds like your thespian aspirations have been realized.
    As ever an absorbing piece, proved useful when moping up.

    See you soon Mr Beaver


  2. Thanks Klahanie for commenting on my blogs, had a bit of (either)[a} a mad week with lots to talk about or [b] I've had sod all to do and time on my hands.
    As far as selfishness is concerned, it is my way of finding something for me that is positive, out of all the c..p the world can throw at us

    May see you again soon


  3. Hi Klahanie,

    I'll echo the previous

  4. Wot? wot? wot? Is there an echo in here, here, here....?

  5. Personally I've been in here for ages, and there is an echo.
    First it was wot! Then wot wot! And now wot wot wot !
    Please be silent, I have to contemplate a way out of here.

  6. Quick, follow me, I think there's a way out at the bottom left corner of the screen.

  7. God help me, I've looked in that corner and still can't find the exit

  8. Hey guys. Follow me out through the 'Start' button. I managed to get out and have put up some comments. However, you dudes can always stay in here and play catch with your virtual balls. (don't even think it!):-)

  9. I think you've finaly lost it my friend! I've phoned those dudes in the white coats and they have told me not to panic cos they areon their way!! Carry on carrying on, and may the Force be with you also!

  10. "I think you've finaly lost it my friend! I've phoned those dudes in the white coats and they have told me not to panic cos they areon their way!!"
    Huh? I'm not lost Simon. I found my way out of here and back. Those dudes in the white coats..have they arrived yet?
    Right then..time to leave here again. Whoops..let me out! :-)

  11. Very witty guys. I like the way you took my thought and ran with it. Whenever you next need inspiration, just ask!

    P.S If we keep going klahanie might win the award for most comments on a blog!

  12. I love reading these older posts. LOL.... I use the term. Where can I catch a bus!! LOL ... we Americans are a crazy bunch aren't we?


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.