I Haven't Gone.

Yes, you can breathe a sigh of relief. I know how much you eagerly anticipate my um .must-read postings.  In other words, I haven't gone.  Nope, still being a rebel, an anarchist of the alphabet!  So much so, not only doing the Z to A, but have even been known to type some words, ǝpısdn uʍop.

I!... I!...I!  Why is "Eye" spelt with an "E"?  Perhaps a 'pupil' named 'Iris' might let me know.

And without batting an 'Ilid', I continue one.  

"I" is for "Inner Space."  You may have read the following before.  If so, I hope you don't mind reading it again.  

And man reached out to the heavens.  Outer space, a wondrous place of countless stars, countless galaxies and countless questions.

And man, gazed deeply into outer space and forgot about his inner space.  For man's heart beat with a brutal savagery.   He shed the blood of his brother's and sister's in the name of greed, of hatred, of betrayal, of deception. He invaded the space, the personal space of the scared, the innocent, the vulnerable.  Yes, in his pursuit to progress, to advance, mankind lost touch with that precious gift.  The gift of the inner child.

And man's lust to conquer, to destroy, to steal from his fellow man, lived on.   Then one day, one momentous day, it happened.  One man looked around, saw the rivers of blood and heard a gentle whisper.  The whisper was the voice of his inner child and it said, "This has to stop.  I want to play, to sing, to dance, to smile, to laugh and love.  Please, we must make this stop."  The man looked over at his blood-soaked enemy and asked, "Can you hear it?  Listen carefully, for your inner child has a message for you, for all of us.'" And his blood-soaked enemy listened and he smiled.  The word spread.  The voice of the inner child, the inner space, spread far and wide.  The bells rang out with the chimes of peace.  Enemies embraced and enemies became friends.

That was a long, long time ago, on that blue and fragile planet.  Mankind reached out and explored the beauty of outer space.  And the message he brought was of acceptance, understanding, hope and peace.  And it all began that day when that one man realised that inner space was the final frontier.

"H" is for "Hope."  The above photo is Mount Hope, near Hope, British Columbia, Canada.  

"G" is for "Garbage Gobbler."  The one with the bigger mouth is the Garbage Gobbler.  Garbage Gobbler meet Gary the "Garbage Bloggler."

What The L Klahanie Jests.

I know, I know, what the "L" am I doing a challenge in reverse for?  Because I'm not actually participating in the "A to Z Blogging Challenge."   Of course, the co-hosts 'begged' me to participate.  However, I would never commit my site to an entire month of such a challenge.  No, not me.

"L" is for "Learner."  Did you know that in Britain you have to have a licence for your TV?  It took me ages to finally pass my test.  Most annoying having to have a learner sticker stuck on the screen until I finally passed my test.  The test entailed watching fifty hours of cooking shows and you can never watch enough cooking shows.  It also required watching  fifty hours of idiots who giggled, jumped around a lot and said, "Oh my God!", in every other sentence.  Yes indeed, fifty hours of "reality" TV.

Note Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar posing with the "L" sticker that was removed from my TV when I passed the test for my TV licence.

"L" is for Leek, Staffordshire, England.  Not to be confused with Leek, Holland.  I moved to Leek in England because I always wanted to live in a town named after an onion.  And speaking of leek, our friend Hilary at this site, did an informative posting on the legendary leek.  If you have never visited Hilary, here she is :  Positive Letters....inspirational stories....

"K" is a special letter to me.  Kinda' kompletely konsumed konsequences konsidering klahanie.

"K" is for "K-Y Jelly."  After using said jelly, "Kleenex" may come in handy.

"J" is for "Jack rabbit."  A jack rabbit wearing a jacket.  I think it's a jack rabbit.  Then again, maybe I'm just splitting 'hares'.

"J" is for "Jack Rabbit."  "Jessica Rabbit" is so jealous!  

Metrosexual Rides Again.

Today, we all reach the letter "M".  Yes, those of you doing the A to Z, we meet up.  Like passing letters on the alphabet sea, we pass by.  Like two ships passing in the night, the good ship "A to Z" passes the good ship, "Z to A."

Due to overwhelming demand, I have reposted this one from last year.  Okay, slight exaggeration.  A certain superstar dog, a confused hedgehog and a couple of garden gnomes, asked me to repost the following.  

A number of folks assume that, "Metrosexual is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual, coined in 1994, describing a man (especially one living in an urban, post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends a lot of time and money on shopping for his appearance."  Source: Wikipedia. 

  

However, there is another meaning to Metrosexual that precedes the commonly regarded definition.  'Metrosexual' is a person who has a bizarre sexual fetish regarding public transport.  In particular, subway and underground systems with the name "Metro" in them.  There are plenty of examples of rapid transit systems that have the word Metro in them and you will note the Metrosexuals eagerly clambering onto them and finding the location with the most advantageous vibration.  My favourite Metro system has the intriguing name,  "Belo Horizonte Metro", which is located in Belo Horizonte, Brasil.

  

So, if you see somebody riding the Metro, who fondles the seats, insists on stroking the hanging overhead knobs, has a silly grin on their face and groans a lot, they may well be a Metrosexual   If someone gets on the London Underground and says they just love anything involving "The Tube", they may well be a Metrosexual.  If  you are talking to someone and they can't stop talking about their love of "BART" (Bay Area Rapid Transit), then indeed, they might just be a Metrosexual.  Metrosexual gives the name of that play, "A Streetcar Named Desire", a much deeper meaning. 

Okay, not exactly a Metro system, but a bus is a form of public transport.  This is the bus that goes to the big city from the little town I live in.  This can be a fun ride, as the roads are needing repair and those potholes can be an extra moment of Metrosexual joy.......

And to get it out of the way, there is neologism derived from Neapolitan and heterosexual.  Or "N" is for 'Neasexual'.  Neasexual is a bizarre sexual fetish regarding being covered in triple flavoured ice cream, whilst having an orgasm....

So there you go, if you're still contemplating an "N", I went forwards from backwards to give you an idea for an "N".  

ON We Go In Reverse.

"O" no, I seem to still be doing the backwards alphabet or ǝpısdn uʍop.

Out there, there's an ocean of opportunity waiting for you, waiting for me.  With an open mind and a song in our heart, we embrace the goals, beyond the green, beyond the beach and outwards to the sea.  Life and the ocean of diversity that awaits.  An ocean of possibilities, of dreams, of passion, of aspirations that you can, that I can, fulfil.

In the teeming ocean that is humanity, may we move on from stigma, from bias, from the apathy and indifference that plagues society.  We can learn.   Learn to understand.   And through awareness and celebrating an all different, all equal world, we move that one step closer to a planet of peace.

Within the orchestra of understanding, we all have the instruments to create sweet music.  In the chorus of caring, we all have the voices that sing in joyous harmony.  "O" is the ocean of serenity.

Nature and respecting the balance that is essential to all life.  I nurture my appreciation of nature's natural balance.  I rejoice in the magic that is "klahanie".  Klahanie is a word from the Chinook tribe who reside in the Pacific Northwest of  North America.  The definition of klahanie is generally accepted as meaning, "the great outdoors."   The spirit of the noble indigenous First Nation's people lives within my heart and soul.

When I went on a walk with the West Coast tribes of British Columbia, on a one hundred mile, three day walk, a wide-eyed fifteen year old boy, learnt the lessons of being as one with nature.  From Vancouver to the fittingly named town of Hope, British Columbia, we walked together, in unity on the profound journey that was "Moccasin Miles."

Between the trees in the great outdoors, flies the freedom we can know.  Peace to you, my friend in an "N" is for nature and a natural balance world.

Penny's Pawfound Pawsitive Pawsting Pawsenting "P" Paw "Penny"!

Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  I've noticed my human, Gary, yes the guy I so kindly allow to live with me, has been doing some sort of alternate alphabet challenge. He's a rebel.  A non-conformist.  Likes to do things his way.

I also notice he seems to be doing the alphabet in reverse and doing more than one letter at a time on his postings.  Well to heck with doing more than one letter at a time.  Yep, despite my obvious modesty, this pawsting, oops, posting is dedicated to just one letter.  The letter "P".  Indeed, "P" as in me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  And in honour of me, I'm going to delight you with a bunch of photos of me, yes me, such a humble dog.

That's right, I have my very own award that I send out to bloggers just to say
thank you.  I have sent this award to humans and animals who understand the ideals of unconditional, non-judgemental love.  There are no rules.  Never a need to link back to my site.  Just an award with a lot of meaning, a lot of feeling.  This award has travelled the world.  It has spread the peace and joy intended.

Note my award being part of a poster campaign.

Here I am guarding over the wee folks in my magical garden.

Two of my adoring fans idolising one of my posters.

One of my larger billboards.  I believe they're about to remove me and replace my amazing self with an ad for a Kim Kardashian perfume set.  Oh the horror of it all!

I'm sure you are aware I have millions of adoring feline fans.

Hello cat.  Yes I pawmise to pawst another pawsting fairly soon.

                                                   Hello to my fans in Canada, eh! 

Having some moments of gentle reflection as my human brother, Tristan, sleeps.

Almost time for me to go.  And go, I really need to go.  Come on Tristan, hurry up and get out of the bathroom!  Time to take you for a walk.

Wish me luck.  This diva dog has to watch out for the pesky 'puparazzi' that always hound me.  Come on Tristan, I need to "P"........  

Something Regarding Queues.

S is for Syllable, the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the Starship Alphabet.  My one month mission, to explore strange new words, to seek out new linguistics and new consonants, to boldly go where no metaphor has gone before.

"Ah Captain, I canny no do a vowel moment!"  "Scotty!  You may be suffering from an irregular verb."  "Aye  Captain, aye!"  "Captain?"  "Yes Mr. Spock?"  "Can I have a look at your Captain's 'log'?"

R is for Repetition.  I repeat.  R is for Repetition.

Q is for Quota
Fulfilling the rota.
Q is for Queue
Or line up to you
An orderly Queue
We try to do
Q is for Queer
Have no fear
Q is for Queen
Know what I mean
We will rock you
One does, it's true
Q is for Quick
Fast and slick
Q is for Query
Agent ignores you, insincerely.

WVUT

"WVUT"  is not a reference to an American radio or television station's call letters.  This is my ongoing mission to seek out new  words, to boldly go where no other alphabet has gone before.  Welcome to the alphabet in an alternative universe.

And thus, the alternate alphabet challenge, brought to you by this congenial host, continues.

"W" is for Wedding.  As in the "Wee Folks Wedding".  Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess and Geoffrey the garden gnome, were wed in my magical garden.  True demonstration of love in their world where no stigmas are attached.  A wee world where wondrous wishes will warmly wander with wholesome wholehearted  wellbeing.  Yes, their world is a world where diversity is celebrated.  An all different, all equal world.

"V" is for "Veronica", my former wife.  Here she is with our son when he was only eight days old.  There was a time, way back when, that I was her knight in shining armour.  I rescued her from a life to horrendous to imagine.  And her knight's armour became tarnished.  I pray that she is happy in the life she now does live.

"U" is for "Upside Down Cake".  I ate an upside down cake.  Or did I eat a cake upside down?

"U" is for "Understanding".  Understanding that within us beats the heart of caring, of compassion, for mankind, for our precious wildlife.  An understanding that we must do all we can to save our precious planet.  A legacy to leave this planet, a greener, cleaner, more peaceful place.

"T" is for "Tristan".  You see him here, no longer a baby but four years old.  A child of sweet innocence.  A wonder to behold.

And here he be, my young man.  Feet on the table and he smiles.  And those smiles, yes those smiles of sunny days, of carefree days, when life was getting better.  

Now my young man, my Tristan is oh so sad.  Life has been a challenge for a number of years.  Yet he will find, I will find, inspiration through adversity.  For I know that the smile shall return to Tristan's face.