Wednesday 15 May 2013

Blogger's Information Hotline.

"Welcome to the Blogger's Information Hotline.  For the latest blogfests information, press one.  For the latest blog hops information, press two.  To set up your own blogfest, or blog hop, or blog party that you make out is because you care about positive interaction, but actually it's your way of accumulating followers, press three. For the latest information on how to be a blatant blogging self-promoter, press four or three..  For how to be even better at leaving vague comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the posting,  press five.  To learn to be really good at being a cynical blogger, press six.  To find out how to be an incredibly sarcastic blogger, press seven.  To leave comments to humour 'comedy' bloggers and pretend that their stuff is funny, when you know it isn't, press eight.  To find out more about "IWSG" or 'I Was Seeking Gary', press nine.  To have all the options repeated and to add your own suggestions to the Blogger's Information Hotline, press zero."

""Please stay on the line. Keep listening to 'Bloggy Wonderland'.  There are one million calls ahead of you....."

135 comments:

  1. But, if like Gary, you blog to expand others horizons, entertain, spread love peace and positivity....press 'star' because you are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Delores,

      I was so hoping somebody would press the 'star' button. It directs you right through to a lovely human named Delores. Thanks for you kind words, my friend.

      And to the sounds of 'Bloggy Wonderland', I bid thee goodnight :)

      Delete
  2. Okay, that last one, to have all the options repeated and add your own suggestions, made me giggle. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi The Happy Whisk,

      I just love you are a happy whisk :) I'm glad I could make you giggle and any suggestions to the hotline, are most welcome :)

      Delete
  3. Many people blog just for some interaction between others. There are games played but it encourages and validates people and just maybe, helps alleviate some loneliness.

    We all need a pat on the shoulder every now and then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Arleen.

      You are right and I'm always, like you, trying to be of positive interaction for others. The fact I stayed online all Christmas Day to be of support to those who are lonely, hopefully indicates my kind intentions.

      I apologise because I didn't mean any harm with this tongue-in-cheek posting.

      Gary

      Delete
    2. I know what a kind man you are Gary and I took it as a TIC posting.

      Delete
    3. Hi Arleen,

      Very kind of you, my dear friend. I do however worry that my TIC postings might seem too cynical. Imagine that :)

      Gary

      Delete
  4. Do I sense a bit of cynicism? Or did I just hit '6' and then '6' '6' again?

    Honestly though, sometimes I could use such help! :)

    Funny stuff, really, and I'm not lying just to suck up!

    Have a wonderful evening. I'm going in for a heart cath on Thursday, could really use some Gary, humor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Yolanda,

      Just a teensy weensy bit of cynicism :) Hit "6" and "7" and really have a good time.

      Always pleased to provide a public service announcement.

      It was meant to be sort of funny and some elements of truth.

      Yolanda, I'm so wishing you the very best with that, dear lady. I think we all need a bit of humour. Peace and kindness, your way.

      Gary

      Delete
  5. But what do you press if you want it in Spanish?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al, you press the Google translate button and the hotline comes through in Spanish.

      Delete
  6. So cute. Yes, I am guilty of some of these. I'll press 9 and seek you my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Eve,

      I couldn't even begin to imagine that you would be guilty of some of those :) Awe thanks for pressing 9 and ending up at the "Insecure Writers Support Group", evidently! :) Thank you, Eve.

      Gary

      Delete
  7. Thank you, was wondering if you might give me your opinion of my post
    for the Romantic Friday Writers. I'm in need of some feedback and if it's too harsh, and you want to spare my public feelings just send it to yolandarenee@hotmail.com - I can take it, honest!

    http://yolandarenee.blogspot.com/2013/05/rfw-love-letters-in-may.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, you made my evening. I want to cut it down to 750 words, from the almost 1000 posted and submit it to a contest. Just have to make sure I don't lose the concept.

      Really appreciate the feedback.

      Delete
    2. Hi Yolanda,

      It was my delight to go over and check out your love letter. I got all excited and then I realised I aint got a motorcycle. Length can be good. What the hell am I talking about. You did well and I hope more folks check out your blog.

      Cheers,

      Gary :)

      Delete
  8. I guess I'll be pressing nine! Don't need more followers. Just want to support the ones I have now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Alex,

      You press nine and you might end up talking to yourself. You are good and hey, you even support cabbages! :) Thank you, Alex.

      Gary

      Delete
  9. Could you repeat those options again?? :P

    Even though you may try to appear as a 'blogging rebel', at times, I always appreciate your humor and support. You never fail to entertain and bring a smile to my face :)

    Have a good one, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mark,

      Sure thing and if you press the "#" button, you not only get the options repeated, but you receive a special blog award created in your honour or "honor". Sorry English, English spell check!

      Me a "blogging rebel", at times? You would be correct and I appreciate the good natured interaction we share, Mark.

      Have a good two, my friend :)

      Gary

      Delete
  10. Funny post. I sometimes tell friends that rubberneck on my pc that Alex Cavanaugh's blog is the blogger hotline. If I'm short on time, I can go there and find basically what's going on in any particular day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Michael,

      You have friends that rubberneck on your pc? Well, okay. You can go to Alex's blog "magazine" site and find out what happening on your blog before you know. It's quite scary! :)

      Thank you, Michael.

      Gary

      Delete
  11. Sounds like calls I put in to my muse. I like the artwork.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jeff,

      Indeed and I'm glad you are one of the operators at the call centre :) The artwork has some superheroes. Which one is you? :)

      Thank you, Jeff.

      Gary

      Delete
    2. Unfortunately the artwork was done during the day and Night Writer only dons his cape after sundown. :-(

      Delete
    3. Ah Jeff, you have a talking pen and that's good. I know all about being a night owl. Or in my case, a night foul! :)

      Get your cape at the ready. Should be sundown where you live soon? Time zones, what the hell!

      Gary

      Delete
  12. Your call is important to us (because it increases our statistics). I wish that this was just a funny post, but sadly it seems to be true for some. None of your followers naturally.
    Have a wonderful, smile filled day, week and life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elephant's Child,

      Sadly, you would be correct, despite my satirical take on it. Of course, none of my followers fit into any of the more cynical aspects of blogging. I hate the word, "followers. Wish we could find a different word.

      Thank you, dear friend and a peaceful, positive week and every other week after that.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  13. Oh no, sorry. I seem to have misdialed. I meant to call the Adult Entertainment XXX Hotline. Never mind. *Click*

    Very funny post, Gary.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Robyn,

      Oops, you misdialed and ended up on the comment section of this blog :) Please redial on our premium rate number which starts with the numbers "six" and "nine".

      Thank you, Robyn, your comments mean a lot to us.

      Gary :) x

      Delete
  14. ::Presses 7 and hears static...:: lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mel,

      You pressed seven and only heard static? Gosh, I'm really disappointed to hear that!! :)

      Thank you, Mel.

      Gary

      Delete
  15. A-and, he strikes again. Nice one, sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Chris,

      Thank you, dear lady. I shall try to strike up a conversation on the Blogger's Information Hotline :)

      Thank you, Chris.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  16. Hello? Hello.......? Anyone there? No, well I guess I'll have to redial and press 7!

    Honestly, Gary this was funny. Nearly spat my cornflakes all over the keyboard this morning! (And no I haven't redialled yet).

    Have a great day I hope you have an answerphone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suzanne Furness,

      Gosh and wow, we'd be thrilled beyond belief is you redialed and pressed seven!!!

      I'm delighted you thought this was funny. And no spitting cornflakes on your keyboard. Cheerios, maybe :)

      Wishing you the bestest type day. I have an answerphone and I had a message on it. Or should I say the sounds of a bunch of people talking at a call centre...

      Thank you, Suzanne.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  17. Let's see I press 'star' for Delores, and 'M' for Mark, and that about sums up all you do in a nutshell! This was very fun and clever Gary! BTW, I'm not being sarcastic this time!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      Press "*" for Delores and "M" for Mark. Thank you and you press "B" "T" "W" for "BTW" :) I could never, ever imagine you being sarcastic, ever!

      Thank you, Julie.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  18. Hi Gary - that was fun! Am I allowed to laugh and giggle down on the southerly coast .. I love Delores comment - absolutely right .. I see the lines are busy - I think I'll be back to redial in anon .. and perhaps get past the millions waiting, on the other hand it could be zillions by then!

    Have a happy day fielding all those calls ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hilary,

      It was gosh darn fun! You can giggle on any coast you like. Delores gets a direct line through to the Blogger's Information Hotline because of her comment. "Your call is valued, there are nine hundred ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine calls ahead of you..."

      Thank you, Hilary must go now and ignore some calls...

      Gary :)

      Delete
  19. Gary
    What fun you are and what fun we are having. But if we took a slice of this pie, all the layers of truth would show. Isn't that what humor is, making light of truth?
    You are a delight. Thank you for that.
    Gotta run, the Mothership awaits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Manzanita,

      Yes, isn't this a lot of fun. The attempted humour does reveal the underlying truth that sadly relates to certain bloggers we have observed. No, not you! :)

      You, dear lady, are always delightful and I'm grateful to know you.

      Have fun on the Mothership and watch out for Uranus :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  20. That why I think phones are evil! LOL! Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Old Kitty,

      You would be correct. And mobile phones, or as they say in North America, "cell phones", have taken the phone to an all new level of evil!

      Gary :)
      x

      Delete
  21. You Gary are a wonderful asset to Blogland, I shall be calling later.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Yvonne,

      Thank you, my dear friend. We await your call :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  22. I have had a read, had a think and have decided to tell you all about my apple trees.

    I got to prune them last year for the first time, but with the weather being what it is I don't know if what I did is right as there is still no blossom. And I planted a pear tree to which is growing OK because it has leaves on. I have noticed someone has mentioned pies and if all goes well we will have apple pies later in the year.

    Are you sure my blogs not funny . . . . . . DAMN. Oooo I think I might have pressed seven or maybe six.

    Well done Good Sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Rob,

      Your comment makes for fascinating reading. Your apple trees will be rather confused by the weather. Actually, your apple trees should no longer be confused by the British weather. In fact, your apples will be dropping off the tree on Christmas Eve. Then you can take the apples inside and place one apple in the mouth of that gaping bore, sorry, boar. I hope you have a nice pear. And apple pie will make our American friends, drool y'all.

      Who dares says your blog aint funny? I shall send around the lads to sort them out. "For how to be even better at leaving vague comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the posting, press five."

      Nice one, Rob. You are a superstar and Penny told me this.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  23. This was very clever Gary, I laughed. Then I started singing "walking through a bloggy wonderland..."it's a good thing you can't hear me.
    Those answering services drive me crazy. "Your call is important to us, please hold the line and an operator will be with you as soon as possible". Or "all our operators are busy right now..."
    The ones with the press this number options never have the option I'm looking for, so I stay on the line without pressing any numbers, then an operator has to speak to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi River,

      I wish I could of heard you singing. Perhaps you could put it on YouTube? "Bloggy Wonderland" is a new version of "Boogie Wonderland", by "Earth, Wind and Fire". I think I prefer your version :)

      Those call centres and the music you get to listen to, does my head in.

      I have found to get through to an actual human after going through all the options you have to push, that pushing the hash key redirects me to an alleged human.

      Thank you, River.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  24. I have left two voicemails but they have yet to be returned....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah Keith,

      Recheck your voicemails.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  25. Is there a crisis number? One for those of us overwhelmed by all of it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Diane,

      A crisis number will be duly incorporated. There will also be a blogfest, or blog hop, or blog party detox line.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  26. You are lacking in returning, been on hold for 5000000 hours.

    But i want a number for when i want to post about having nothing to post just to post so it doesn't look like i don't post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Pat,

      You did well being on hold for such a short time.

      So you wish a number for your usual type postings? :)

      Gary

      Delete
  27. There are days when I wish there were a hotline!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Terry,

      "Welcome to the Blogger's Information Hotline...."

      Gary :)

      Delete
  28. Gary, my friend, you forgot the "your call is important to us" line. And what about customer service? There must be someone you can yell at if something goes wrong in your blog. Maybe a robot that says "We care because you care" sort of thing. All companies have one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Al,

      I think you get that part of the message in between the constant repeating of "Bloggy Wonderland."

      Customer service? They take your money and customer service is the stuff of dreams. "We're sorry, we cannot connect to your blog right now. All our customer service agents are busy.."

      Gary :)

      Delete
  29. What a fun post! It's a shame I'm too scared of phones to call. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Cherie,

      Sorry you're scared of phones. You'll just have to face the fax :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  30. That's brilliant Gary. Can't stop laughing right now. You should have done a real poll next to your post and got people to press the buttons just to see the end results and added a little 'Bloggy Wonderland' music too, ha ha ha.
    I wonder what button Penny would have pushed..
    Great stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rum-Punch Drunk,

      You have some great ideas, my friend. And in a follow-up posting, well you never know. All suggestions will be duly noted and ignored. I'm kidding :)

      Penny would push the paws button.

      Thank you.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  31. Please hold; your call is important to us. That's why we don't have enough employees to answer the phone.
    A really funny post, Gary. Of course I could be just saying that....
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi bazza,

      Indeed and please hold, your comment is important to us.

      Yeah, thanks for thinking this was really funny or not! :)

      Gary

      Delete
  32. Crap. This is the kind of thing that keeps this blond on the line for a half hour pressing zero and holding fingers in the air.

    I think I want 9, no wait 3...oh crap, that was the shameless self-promotion...not admitting that! PLEASE...can I just get a human on the line?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elizabeth,

      You press zero and "0", nothing happens. Perhaps you should stick your fingers on the buttons. No, not literally stick them on the buttons.

      Press nine for some amazing encouragement. Press four or three if you want to demonstrate blatant self-promotion and the fine art of being self-obsessed. To actually talk to a human, press the "#" key :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  33. I keep pressing three but all I hear is "You're so vain" being played over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi J.A.,

      Lovely to see you here :) Yes indeed, "You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you....."

      Thank you, my friend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  34. Oh boy, the sound of a million calls ahead of me reminds me of making calls to my old phone provider.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Greetings J.L.,

      Nice to meet you, my friend. I can relate to your horror story. I tried to phone my old phone provider and got a recorded message that they were no longer a phone provider. No change, there then.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  35. OMG ain't it the truth? So many blogs, so many hops, so little time. *sigh* Tell Penny Fred says hi. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mina,

      So many blogs and blogfests and blog hops and blog parties and awards and by the time you've commented and gone back to comment on the site that's commented, it starts all over again.

      Penny says hi to Fred :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  36. I finally found the true meaning of IWSG...haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi ilima,

      Pleased to meet you and you have found Gary :)

      Um Gary :)

      Delete
  37. Funny! I think I should press 3 to find out how to set up a blog hop. That might actually be useful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry,

      Thank you. Yes press three and you might get some suggestions such as this for a blog hop or blogfest or blog party or whatever.

      The "Groundblog Day" blogfest : Wouldn't it be great for a blogfest? This would be where we repeat the same paragraph, over and over again. Yes indeed, a paragraph that repeats over and over and over...If you get what I mean?

      Wouldn't it be great for a blogfest? This would be where we repeat the same paragraph, over and over again. Yes indeed, a paragraph that repeats over and over and over...If you get what I mean?

      Wouldn't it be great for a blogfest? This would be where we repeat the same paragraph, over and over again. Yes indeed, a paragraph that repeats over and over and over...If you get what I mean?

      Delete
  38. Loved this! How very true x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Carole,

      Yes, quite worryingly, there is some truth in this.

      Gary x

      Delete
  39. *presses 5*
    Great post! In other news, a group of frogs is called an army, but a group of toads is called a knot.
    (;

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bonjour Elise,

      Great comment! Thanks for sharing! I've noticed that there's a petition to have an official "Hedgehog Appreciation Day." I fondly recall my AMC Javelin. Quite a sporty number, red with white stripes.....

      Gary :)

      Delete
  40. You have. Just written an insightful and witty post ( now what category am I in? )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi John,

      You would be in the category still to be determined in the suggestions option. Press zero and tell them what you are. Of course, as the categories increase, I'd put in you in the lovable and altruistic category.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  41. Oh my... What happens if I repeatedly press 0? Will I become stuck in an interdimensional loop?
    Quite humorous, Gary. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Laura,

      If you repeatedly press zero, you end up on a spaceship that takes a detour past the asteroid belt and lands on Uranus :)

      Mildly humorous, at best :) I'll leave the humour to the um 'comedy' bloggers :)

      Thank you, Laura.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  42. If I press 6 three times, can I expect evil things to follow? This was hysterical.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      If you press six, three times, you get directly through to some dude named Damien.

      Thank you, Julie.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  43. I'm really bad at numbers, I think I just butt dialed you. Now what? I think I'm shrinking...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi M.Pax,

      What a way to make your acquaintance. An interesting use of your cell phone, I suspect :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  44. LOL!!!! Gary, you're funny!!! How is that for vague or simple or or or.......

    Your friendly Canadian Friend,
    Suzanne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Suzanne Bean,

      How's it goin', eh, you hoser! Yeah, I'm really funny n'stuff.

      Me, I'm simply vague.

      Take care, eh, my friendly Canadian Friend and Friend of the Friendly Giant. "Look up...look waaaay up...!"

      Gary :)

      Delete
  45. Replies
    1. laughingwolf,

      laughingwolfian, actually! :)

      Delete
  46. A very funny post, Gary. Now I have a question for you. What kind of blogger am I?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julia,

      That almost sounds like a song. What kind of blogger am I? :) I know you are not in any of those categories. I'm going to press zero and once the repeat part is over, I'm going to nominate you in the sharing, caring category :)

      Gary :)

      Delete
  47. This would be funnier if it wasn't so true. It's kinda depressing actually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lexa,

      You are correct. It's quite sad that a few are not what they make out to be and it's all about ego-tripping. It is depressing and really they should embrace the spirit of an all different, all equal ethos.

      Thank you, Lexa.

      Gary

      Delete
  48. Hi Gary,
    I think I'll press zero and have all the information relayed to me once again and then add my own category of "sycophantic comment leaver". This is a great post, Gary. Really funny. You're so wonderful. Really, I'm your number one fan!
    Very Best Wishes, your way,
    David.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi David,

      Totally understandable, my fervent admirer. I know that you like to rub shoulders, so to speak, with the blogging elite and yes, even me, shy and humble me.

      Yes, my adoring fan, David. This was a great post. A really funny post. And yes, I'm wonderful to the point it brings tears of joy to you, my number one fan!

      See you soon, David.

      Gary

      Delete
  49. hmmm...i pressed 12. i got a preteen at my door. is that normal??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Tammy!

      A really funny, really clever comment. Did the pre-teen bring your pizza order? Or was it Girl Guide Cookies? Or was it a Cub Scout who wanted to walk you across the road?

      Gary :)

      Delete
  50. I am pressing all the buttons, hopefully it will produce an interesting effect :). Pushing buttons is my favorite thing, and I am very tempted to push yours :)>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Petronela,

      You press the right combination of buttons and you get a "When Harry Met Sally" restaurant scene moment :) My phone has steam coming out of it. Is that to be expected....

      Gary :)

      Delete
  51. I gotten beaten to the star comment, so I'll just add if you want to give up, lose sight of reality or completely block out other peoples opinions or share the love press the # key

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ida,

      Ah the star comment. And yet your star shines brightly. To get through to a human and avoid any further options press the # key or "hash" key. And no, I'm not going to say anything about the hash key :)

      Thank you, Ida.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  52. Press a number? I still use rotary. I'll have to stay on the line for the next available blogger.

    M.L. Swift, Writer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey M.L. Swift,

      I noted your illustrious self on 'Farcebook'. I bet you have fun using a rotary. Heck, whatever turns you on. The next available blogger has some interesting toys that require batteries. Quite the buzz, I've been told.

      Thank you, good sir.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  53. LOL: pressing 7 several times :)

    ......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna,

      "To find out how to be an incredibly sarcastic blogger, press seven." Donna, I find that extremely hard to even fathom that you would even consider pressing button seven, never, ever!

      I heard you nearly spilt some wine on your keyboard :) Thank you, Donna and have a lovely weekend, because I really care! :)

      Gary

      Delete
  54. Hiya Gary!
    All of this reminded me of elevator music. I mean, who makes the choices for the boring stuff that invades the ear.... straight to the brain. Should you be lucky you'll be getting off at floor number one. Then again, the people there may have you go to floor number six; oh, was there a number six above?

    "For how to be even better at leaving vague comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the posting, press five."(Gary)

    Merry Christmas you guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Howdy Dixie!

      How y'll doin'? Elevator music should have a top ten list of the most hated songs while travelling in an elevator. Press six on the elevator button will take you to a floor filled with cynical bloggers. Hard to believe, I know.

      And with the spirit of number five, um I really liked your comment even though I didn't actually read it.

      Happy New Year, Dixie!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  55. I love # 9!!!! Actually they were all great. What a cool idea. Wish I could actually have that on my blog on the comments part... I'm laughing out loud now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa,

      You are most kind and um, I love number nine :) Please go with this idea and add your own dimension. If my somewhat satirical musings can make you laugh, then my job is done.

      A peaceful weekend to you, Lisa.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  56. Is there a number to press when the sidebar on EVERYONE'S blogs jiggles up and down? I have to read blogs at my own risk of getting a migraine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey lotta joy,

      Nothing more annoying that a jiggling sidebar. I blame it those who insist on having so many applications on their site that it takes two hours to load up their blog and actually read the darned thing. By that time, personally, I've lost the will to live. Press zero, listen to Bloggy Wonderland and if you actually get through to a Blogger representative, you can make a suggestion to have the technical department try and eliminate the jiggling. In the meantime, please try to avoid having a migraine by ignoring all those sites with the jiggling sidebars, which I guess, includes your own :)

      Wishing you better times, Dana.

      Gary

      Delete
  57. Excuse me while I find myself more interested in a breast fest. I know, I'm weak. Press 9-1-1.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Blue Solar Lamp,

      It seemed you pressed four or three on the Blogger's Information Hotline. And not everybody lives in North America. Which mean, the 9-1-1, aint working properly.

      Delete
  58. What's all this about Blogger going? Why is it going? and where are we bloggers going to go?

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Greetings Yvonne,

    This is a rumour started up by Blogspot's rival, 'Blogs-R-Us'. We can all still gather together and sing 'Bloggy Wonderland' :)

    A peaceful weekend to you, Yvonne.

    Gary

    ReplyDelete
  60. As much as I feel happy when I have a new follower, I am afraid of disappointing him or her by not writing enough or going on and on about my own fears.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hi Munir,

      Please don't put undue pressure on yourself. You write when you want to write. And isn't blogging a form of therapy? Any follower who respects you, will appreciate your transparency.

      Have a lovely weekend, dear friend.

      Gary

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  61. Sometimes I feel like pressing some of those numbers. . . great blog.

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  62. Hi Dizzy-Dick,

    Oh for sure. Which reminds me, I haven't visited your site recently. Hangs head in shame. Thank you, my friend. Wishing you a peaceful weekend.

    Gary

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  63. OMG, that's the best. You do need the part at the end of the call where you take the survey to see if you're satisfied with the outcome of the call...which I never am, because most of the call centers don't employ people with brains anymore...so nice to know there's a place I can call to learn sarcasm. Must increase my superpowers.
    Tina @ Life is Good

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    Replies
    1. Hey Tina,

      Your comment has been recorded for training of new staff purposes. Aha, so I take it the call centre at the A to Z Blogging Challenge needs to employ some folks with an IQ in double digits! :) Tina, I'm shocked to the point of screaming, that you'd even want to learn anything about sarcasm, ever!

      Thank you, Tina.

      Your adoring fan,

      Gary :)

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  64. Oh Gary, I LOVE your sense of humour! I was going to highlight a line or two, but came to the decision after having read the post copious times for the sheer pleasure, that there were just too many!

    Bloody marvelous, good sir!!!!

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    1. Gidday Wendy,

      I'm heartened and the team at the Blogger's Information Hotline, are delighted with your comment. I do so hope you press zero and get to enjoy all those options. Hey and what could be better than listening to 'Bloggy Wonderland', over and over and over....:)

      Thank you, Wendy.

      Gary :)

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  65. Wow, judging by all the comments, you really tapped into something here. Great post, Gary. Don't forget, while callers are waiting for their turn in that million-caller queue, to pause the music from time to time to reassure callers of how terribly "important" their calls are.

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    1. Hi Susan,

      Oh yeah, the Blogger's Information Hotline has also been bombarded with calls asking about additional numbers to press and many a suggestion has been left. A lot of them, not repeatable! :) "Your comment is terribly important to us!" :)

      Thank you, Susan.

      Gary

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  66. My humour response couldn't possibly measure up, so I'm here to say, You, my dear man, are hysterical! Love how your mind works.

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    1. Hi Joylene,

      And now I'm here commenting to your comment in regards to your comment on the next posting after this posting and comment to this comment you so kindly left. You, dear lady, are way too kind to me.

      Thank you, Joylene.

      Gary

      Delete
  67. I do hope the Blogger's Information Hotline representatives speak intelligibly *I do hate it when, after waiting an eternity to reach a human being, they don't speak a lick of one's native language* Highly entertaining commentary, as always:)

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    1. Greetings Samantha,

      At the Blogger's Information Hotline, once you get past the options, once you've listened to 'Bloggy Wonderland' for like the millionth time, you get to talk to somebody, most likely with a Canadian accent, eh. Although, we are incorporating language options such a 'Gobbelety Goop'! :)

      I do appreciate your kind words, Samantha.

      Gary

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.