Friday, 17 May 2013

Press The "Hash" Key.

At the Blogger's Information Hotline, we do value your feedback from Gary's previous posting.  Several of you pressed zero to listen to all the options again and you were given the opportunity to pass on suggestions to us.  We have listened to your suggestions.  So thanks to you who actually got through to a human by giving up on pressing zero and pressed the hash key which looks like this, #.  And no, we have no idea why it's called a hash key.
Rum-Punch Drunk stated, "That's brilliant Gary. Can't stop laughing right now. You should have done a real poll next to your post and got people to press the buttons just to see the end results and added a little 'Bloggy Wonderland' music too, ha ha ha.  I wonder what button Penny would have pushed.. Great stuff."
We shall partly compromise, Rum-Punch Drunk and above is the music that those of you who haven't been able to get through to us, would actually hear, if you could get through to us.  

mybabyjohn/Delores stated, "But, if like Gary, you blog to expand others horizons, entertain, spread love peace and positivity....press 'star' because you are."  We have taken note of Delores' comment and we are touched by that.  In honour of her comment, we have now incorporated the star button, which looks like this, *, into our system.  If you press the star button, you will find out about bloggers we consider to embrace the all different, all equal ethos.
Al Diaz stated, "Gary, my friend, you forgot the "your call is important to us" line. And what about customer service? There must be someone you can yell at if something goes wrong in your blog. Maybe a robot that says "We care because you care" sort of thing. All companies have one."  We shall be changing our opening part when you have been spending an eternity waiting, by stating, "Please hang on, listen to 'Bloggy Wonderland' and know your call is important to us."  As for customer service, Al, um ha ha!  
Cherie Reich stated,  "What a fun post! It's a shame I'm too scared of phones to call. ;)"  We are saddened to hear that, Cherie.  I guess you'll just have to face the fax :)
L. Diane Wolfe stated,  "Is there a crisis number? One for those of us overwhelmed by all of it?"  We realise there is an urgency for such a number. Thus, we shall shortly be setting up a special number that takes you to the recorded sounds of whales.  
Sherry Ellis stated,  "Funny! I think I should press 3 to find out how to set up a blog hop. That might actually be useful."    Oh no, what have we done!?
Elise Fallson stated, "*presses 5* Great post! In other news, a group of frogs is called an army, but a group of toads is called a knot. (;"  To which we reply, Great comment! Thanks for sharing! I've noticed that there's a petition to have an official "Hedgehog Appreciation Day." I fondly recall my AMC Javelin. Quite a sporty number, red with white stripes.....
Julie Luek stated,  "If I press 6 three times, can I expect evil things to follow? This was hysterical"  If you press six, three times, you get directly through to some dude named Damien.
David stated, "Hi Gary,I think I'll press zero and have all the information relayed to me once again and then add my own category of "sycophantic comment leaver". This is a great post, Gary. Really funny. You're so wonderful. Really, I'm your number one fan! Very Best Wishes, your way, David."  David, we at  the Blogger's Information Hotline, completely agree with you.  
Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com stated,  "Oh no, sorry. I seem to have misdialed. I meant to call the Adult Entertainment XXX Hotline. Never mind. *Click* Very funny post, Gary.  xoRobyn"  Robyn, we have noted your comment on Gary's blog and we are going to be setting up a * 69, number.  Oops, wait a sec, that's last call return.  Have to come up with another number that you can dial and will cost you an absolute fortune to use.
Laura Eno stated,  "Oh my... What happens if I repeatedly press 0? Will I become stuck in an interdimensional loop? Quite humorous, Gary. :D"  Yes you will. In unreality, you are not actually reading this within this dimension, but you are in alternate universe.
lotta joy stated, "Is there a number to press when the sidebar on EVERYONE'S blogs jiggles up and down? I have to read blogs at my own risk of getting a migraine!"  Nothing more annoying that a jiggling sidebar. We blame it on those who insist on having so many applications on their site that it takes two hours to load up their blog and actually read the darned thing. By that time, personally, we've lost the will to live. Press zero, listen to 'Bloggy Wonderland' and if you actually get through to a Blogger representative, you can make a suggestion to have the technical department try and eliminate the jiggling. Hint, just press the hash key. In the meantime, please try to avoid having a migraine by ignoring all those sites with the jiggling sidebars, which I guess, includes your own :)
Lisa stated, "I love # 9!!!! Actually they were all great. What a cool idea. Wish I could actually have that on my blog on the comments part... I'm laughing out loud now!"  We at the Blogger's Information Hotline, most assuredly agree with what you have mentioned.  We do hope you have some fun with this cool idea.
ilima stated, "I finally found the true meaning of IWSG...haha."  Ah yes, "I Was Seeking Gary."  We have noted that this been a good way for those participating at the other "IWSG" to remind them and others to maybe get involved with that one.  
Alex J. Cavanaugh stated,  "I guess I'll be pressing nine! Don't need more followers. Just want to support the ones I have now."  At the Blogger's Information Hotline, we would like to inform you that when you press number nine, it takes you to here,  Alex J. Cavanaugh: The Insecure Writer's Support Group  We have noted that "I Was Seeking Gary", has been a great way to remind folks who might like to check out the link.
At the Blogger's Information Hotline, we paid full attention to the comments in the previous posting.  And these were but a sample.  We truly appreciated all of them.  If none of this posting makes any sense to you, maybe the previous posting, might make things clearer, Blogger's Information Hotline.  Then again, perhaps not.
Good grief, what a long posting.  "Hello" if you skimmed to here! 

80 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Saludos Pat,

      Por favor, póngase en contacto con nuestra línea directa de español pulsando la tecla de almohadilla cien veces!

      Línea de información de Blogger

      Delete
  2. I think it's wonderful, now you have to share your recorded message.

    Hello, you've reached Renee and Patches, we're busy blogging nonsense, or writing murder, but leave your number, if you're creative enough one of us will call you back, we're always looking for victims so leave your creativity at the bark, and pray we're impressed!

    Funny how no one bothers does. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Delete the word bothers! :)

      Delete
    2. Hello Renee and Patches,

      You have reached a recorded message back to your recorded message via this site which has been taken over by the Blogger's Information Hotline. We would like you to, at the bark tone, record a further message and our newest representative for the upcoming doggy style number, oops, doggy number, will get back to you! No "bothers" at all :)

      Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar's human,

      Gary on behalf of the Blogger's Information Hotline....

      Delete
  3. Now write all of that back to front and upside down.
    On a more serious note perhaps your last post could/should be required reading before people are allowed to start a new blog. And for repeat self promoters before they put any further posts up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elephant's Child,

      Okay then, ˙uʍop ǝpısdn puɐ ʇuoɹɟ oʇ ʞɔɐq ʇɐɥʇ ɟo ןןɐ ǝʇıɹʍ ʍou

      That last post, on behalf of the Blogger's Information Hotline, did have some rather cynical aspects. Yet, there is, of course, some elements of truth. Myself and the Hotline, are most dismayed at those few who have an alleged caring nature, are only doing things to self-promote and ego trip. We find that very sad.

      Delete
  4. You have enough great material here to cover the next Z to A extravaganza! Loved Parts I and II Gary!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julie,

      Eeks...another alphabet challenge? I shudder at the very thought of another one. On behalf of the Blogger's Information Hotline, I'm delighted you liked these two parts. Thank you, Julie.

      Gary

      Delete
  5. brilliant stuff
    of course I ended up on you tube-earth wind and fire, bee gees-staying alive-queen-bohemian rhapsody, whew I am back and #### away!

    ray

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ray,

      Ah, so you went of on a YouTube musical tour. Have fun with the um hash button!

      Gary

      Delete
  6. Oh how wonderful that you listened to all of us and and took direct action. Companies can learn a thing or two from 'Bloggers Information Hotline'.

    I had a wonderful dance whilst on hold, and now thinking about updating my disco wardrobe as those clothes were so shiny, sparkly and entertaining. It just brightened up my day. Another great, fun post Gary. I really enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rum-Punch Drunk,

      Ah yes indeed and maybe a "Coalition Government Information Hotline". To learn how to target the sick, the vulnerable, press one....

      Get some flashiest of flash disco clothes. Get one of those sparkly balls and have a disco inferno. I am heartened if I can brighten your day. That, my friend, is a positive result.

      Gary

      Delete
  7. OMG! LOL! This was a a way cool post. Totally.

    Hugs and chocolate,
    Shelly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Shelly,

      We, at the Blogger's Information Hotline, are most pleased. Yes, and we are always glad to accept hugs and chocolate.

      Gary

      Delete
  8. The day-after "hash" is always better. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Manzanita,

      I pressed the hash key and got very hungry. The next day, I wondered why I was so hungry :)

      Delete
  9. Oh wow, looks like I missed the post of the year. Will go check out. This made me laugh so hard I had a coughing fit. Highest level of laughter, because after one of those, I can't breathe.
    Tina @ Life is Good

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tina,

      The Blogger's Information Hotline and my amazing self, thank you for going back to that other post. We don't want you having a coughing fit, dear lady.

      Gary

      Delete
  10. "Hello" back. Haha! Naw, I didn't really skim it all ... well, a bit maybe. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Hello", Lexa!

      I wouldn't blame you if you skimmed through this posting. I don't really skim through your posts...well, a bit maybe :)

      Delete
  11. Gary have you been giving out your phone number to everyone but me? I'm feeling kind of sad about that. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sharon,

      You were sent the, "B E E P", number. Which stands for "Blogger Entertainment Excellence Postings". Are you still sad?

      Gary :)

      Delete
  12. I'm glad to see you used mine...oh wait. U didn't :(

    Hahaha...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Tammy,

      Superstar blogger and writer! The Blogger's Information Hotline duly noted your super duper comment. Here it is, "hmmm...i pressed 12. i got a preteen at my door. is that normal??"

      How could we have overlooked yours. Hahaha....

      Your friendly team at the Blogger's Information Hotline!

      Delete
  13. Miss those old songs... Have a GREAT weekend Gary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Terry,

      Yes, those old songs. You can hear "Bloggy Wonderland", over and over and over and...

      Thank you, Terry. I hope you had a lovely weekend.

      Gary

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. Saludos M.L Swift,

      Por favor, póngase en contacto con nuestra línea directa de español pulsando la tecla de almohadilla cien veces!

      Línea de información de Blogger

      Delete
  15. Shoot, I read and loved this but forgot to comment yesterday. Sorry, Gary. But I keep trying the *69 thing and getting a busy signal. Hmm, I must not be the only one who's interested in Adult Entertainment XXX. Please keep me posted on the other number you come up with. I'm in dire need. Thanks!

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Robyn,

      Dear friend, never a need to apologise for not commenting on my blog. Besides you were preoccupied with 69. Sorry about the busy signal and we are going to suck up all available resources and get our premium rate line set up.

      More importantly, hope all went well with you, Robyn.

      Gary :) x

      Delete
  16. Bloggy Wonderland will be a nice way to spend 3 hours waiting for the call to be attended. No customer service, ah well...they don't help anyway. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Al,

      If you only listen to Bloggy Wonderland for three hours, that would be quite something :) Oh, we have a customer service department. They just all happen to be on vacation. And don't you know, they all flew on Blog Air, the blogger's favourite airline....

      Delete
  17. That stuff is too good to skim! You know, the alphabet corresponds to numbers...A to Z 2014 could be a workup of messages supplied to frequent button-pushers, annoying sales calls, Penny's pizza delivery tips...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Laura,

      You are, of course, absolutely right! How could anybody possibly skim through my must read crap. Yes indeed, the alphabet can correspond to numbers on the phone. The annoying alphabet challenge that you refer to, has it's own hotline. The 'A to Z Blogging Challenge 2014 Information On How To Accumulate More Followers Hotline.' Penny's Pizza will be sending you a 'Pawperoni' Pizza :)

      Delete
  18. Next time I'd let Penny answer the phone for you...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julia,

      "Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, here. How may I help you?"

      Delete
  19. Darn, it looks like I missed a really good post. Here I go... time to do some back tracking.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Susan,

      Gosh, that was an amazingly clever post. I thank you for backtracking and yes, here I am commenting on your comment on the posting that came after the post you went back to.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  20. You got some fantastic responses, a lot of very funny people. Great post and enjoyed the original.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi The Wicked Writer,

      I'm blessed with a lot of very clever interaction. I thank you very much for liking both the postings.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  21. What can I say except #### ####### ### ######### #### ###### but always with a # ### # ###### ##### ###### and anyway ##### ##### ######## ###### stained blue ##### ##### ######## ###### goldfish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let's do the #, let's do the Monster #

      Delete
    2. And Rob replies to himself....Me thinks you have been staring a bit too long at a stained blue goldfish. We asked you to press the "hash" key. *Cough!* *Cough!*

      Delete
  22. I've obviously been away from blog reading longer than I thought - this made no sense until I read the last post. I'll try to be around more so I don't miss anything :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Annalisa,

      You haven't missed much on this blog. If this posting almost had a semblance of some sort of sense after you kindly responded to the posting before this posting, well hey, that's incredible :)

      Gary

      Delete
  23. I love this post Gary, your commenters *spell check* commentters? *spell check* commenter's? *spell check fail* - comment makers deserve the attention, they are just as much fun to read as your posts... which makes for a very good post, because seriously, who has time to read all of the comments, all the time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Ida,

      You are most kind. The commenter's who interact with me are such an integral part of my posting. I'm blessed with your interaction. What I struggle with is trying to maintain a balance. I like to give back a personal response to each person, but it's time consuming and potentially takes away from my commenting on more sites.

      Having stated that, the comments to my posts, really enhance the post. Might even save a bad post from being a total disaster :) Thank you, Ida.

      Gary

      Delete
  24. Hi Gary - I love that you posted out the various comments - bloggers have the most fertile of minds ...

    ... and did you see that some chap has devised a new system to bypass all of these choices ... I'm not sure how fossilised we will be before it takes off .. but your post was heard, and your comments look like they're noted ... that means Leek might be the centre of the centrifugal help-line systems ...

    Great to read .. cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Hilary,

      I was tempted to post up all the comments. However, considering there were 65 of them, the Blogger's Information Hotline asked me to randomly select a few.

      I heard about that chap on BBC radio 5 Live. I do know that when I've had to tolerate all the options when I call my bank, if I press the hash key, it bypasses any other options and takes me direct to a human.

      Gary

      Delete
  25. Those are awesome! I think Robyn's was the best. Thanks for directing nine to the IWSG. It is manned around the hour by clones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Alex,

      All the comments were outstanding and Robyn's was very funny. Yes, the Blogger's Information Hotline has redirected option nine to go to the other IWSG, that would be the one you know very well. You must have clones because I cannot believe one person could do as much as you do.

      Gary

      Delete
  26. Those are great comments! I like the one about pressing 6 three times!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sherry,

      Yes they were and the Blogger's Information Hotline was glad that I included yours.

      Kind regards,

      Damien...

      Delete
  27. Sorry I missed all the excitement. I hate being late for the party. Off to read the previous post so I can figure out what's going on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Joylene,

      Thank you for commenting on the other posting and I'm heading back to the other posting to comment back to your comment. I still haven't a clue what's going on.

      Take care, eh,

      Gary

      Delete
  28. Hold on a minute ... do you speak Spanish??

    A totally hilarious follow-up on the last post, Gary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gidday Wendy,

      I speak very little Spanish but the Blogger's Information Hotline has a number of affiliated call centres that offer Spanish, French, Gibberish, Canadian and New Zealandian :)

      Thank you,Wendy.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  29. Working automated push button phones is almost worse than getting our fingers stuck in those old rotary things from way back when...Sometimes it might be better to remain on hold and listen to the elevator music for way too long.

    Seriously, interesting posts (both of them), Gary. All this time I thought blogging was a way to avoid getting passed around on the endless phone run around...have to admit, I couldn't help but smile when I read these.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi M.J.,

      Indeed and I have a bad case of redial finger. I wonder if I can sue for wear and tear on my finger. Actually, maybe that didn't sound right. Listen to elevator music and groove along.

      I heard a rumour that blogging was about a sharing, caring community :) I'm glad this made you smile and found both posts interesting.

      Gary

      Delete
  30. Pushing the right buttons with you Gary can be a tricky thing indeed, one would not know what to expect...But we ladies love that about a gentleman :).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Petronela,

      Pushing the right buttons makes me giggle like a baby. Have fun with the buttons :)

      Your oh so gentlemanly friend,

      Gary :)

      Delete
  31. OH NO! Looking at some of the comments here I see you're getting SPAM too!!! This post was as good, if not better as the last one!!! Laughing out loud AGAIN!!! I especially love you putting in the link to Alex's blog! That one still has me giggling. He's gonna love you for that. Thanks, also, again, for your kinds words on my blog. I sincerely appreciate the time you take to write them to me. Have a great weekend and I'll be checking back here next week...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lisa,

      Oh yes, I've been getting SPAM! Such fun and hey extra visits on my site. I try to help Alex out. I think he needs more attention :) Yes indeed, IWSG had a nice little twist to it.

      I'm honoured to comment on your thoughtful and articulate site, Lisa. May your profound week be of peace and positive reflection.

      Thank you, Lisa.

      Gary

      Delete
  32. Bawhaha! You just ran with it, Gary - this was outstandingly comical:) I do believe the Blogger's Information Hotline should make regular appearances!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Samantha,

      I ran with it, tripped over a post and got stuck on hold :) The Blogger's Information Hotline have duly noted your comment and they will be delighted to add further info at a later date.

      Thank you, Samantha.

      Gary

      Delete
  33. I have just enough gray matter left in my skull to discern that the music in your fascinating video is not Boogie Woogie at all. It is pure DISCO (to which good riddance) or I am a monkey's uncle. That particular video was undoubtedly what inspired Lionel Richie's performance at the Closing Ceremonies of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, which paled in comparison, by the way. And if only the powers that be in Gitmo would ply Boogie Woogie Wonderland over their loudspeakers 24/7, I'm absolutely certain that the imprisoned terrorists would be divulging their terrorist secrets left and right. I mean, it had that effect on me, and I'm not even a terrorist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I meant play, not ply...a thousand pardons.

      Delete
    2. Hi rhymeswithplague,

      Ah yes, Disco. Makes you want to wear platform shoes and flared jeans. Thus, I wont admit I saw Earth, Wind and Fire in concert. Bloggy Wonderland is the stuff of dreams, my friend. And yes, play it enough and it would get the most hardened criminal admitting to all their crimes. "Ply", almost made sense...

      Gary

      Delete
  34. I'm thinking about putting duct tape over the right side of my screen, since YOUR blog jiggles more than most.

    On the other hand, come over to my blog and see what I really think where you're concerned. heh heh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi lotta joy,

      Strange that my blog jiggles more than most. I have kept the applications on my site to the minimum. Must be all those awards causing the problem.

      I shall be back over to your site when hopefully, your sidebar stops jiggling. I'm truly grateful for what you posted over there and for your comment here.

      Thank you, Dana.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  35. Darn, I missed a fun post :)
    Cool to meet you on Alex's blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Carol,

      I missed a fun post, also :) Very nice to meet you over at Alex's blog and I'm wishing you much writing success. I shall keep it a secret that Alex is one of my adoring fans....

      Oh and thanks for linking into this obscure site.

      Gary

      Delete
  36. Your post is really nice and clever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Dixie,

      Thanks. Your latest post was thoughtful and candid. Much respect to you, dear lady.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  37. Note that most policies your internet site capped annual a lot poorer maximum.
    Check their background, prices, and different suggestions before signing onto.


    my page; agencja detektywistyczna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um Gary, what button did Anonymous press? :P

      Delete
    2. Okay, I shall leave that Anonymous comment on there because Elise wants to know what button good ol' Anonymous has to press. Press * and then 0 and then # to be anonymous on the Blogger's Information Hotline! :)

      Delete
  38. Haha! Your commenters have great ideas. *dial tone*
    Hello? Hello?! *^"#&*@!*
    (;

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Elise,

      "We're sorry, we cannot connect your call. Please try again later." "Nous sommes désolés, nous ne pouvons pas vous connecter à votre appel. S'il vous plaît réessayer plus tard."

      Goodbye,
      Au revoir,

      Gary :)

      Delete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.