Sunday, 29 July 2012

Interview With The Star Of This Site.

I've noticed that on a number of blog sites that fellow writers have been interviewed.  So I thought it would be interesting if Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, would possibly share her thoughts about writing.  You may be aware that Penny does the occasional  guest posting on this site.  To my delight, Penny agreed to let me interview her and get an insight into her fascinating writing ideas.

Thank you Penny for allowing me to interview you.

Question 1 :  Before you settle down in front of the keyboard, do you have any rituals you like to follow?

Answer :  "Before I get settled down in front of the keyboard I go outside in the garden and have a ceremonial crap.  Then I come back inside, roll around on the carpet, wag my tail, go to the kitchen, check out the food before finally heading to the keyboard to paw out my must read articles."

Question 2 :  Why do you write?
Answer :  "Ah Gary, the reasons I write are numerous.  I write because I wanted to help you with your writing skills.  I write because I consider it most therapeutic.  Indeed, my human, I write to teach humans that we animals are an example of unconditional, non-judgemental love."  

Question 3 :  What inspires your writing?

Answer :  "When Tristan or you take me for walks, I observe, I listen, I sniff.  And with my senses full of the magic of the great outdoors, I find myself inspired to write about the simple goodness that's all around.  And I'm very sensitive to your son and yourself.  I write to try and bring you both comfort through these daunting times."

Question 4 : Do you have any writing suggestions for aspiring authors?

Answer :  "Write from the heart.  Make your writing intimate.  Write in such a way that your reader really feels like you're 'talking' directly to them.  Make your reader care about the story.  Most importantly, grab and hold onto the reader's attention from the very first sentence.  Never give up and pursue your dream.  Do your best to make your dream a reality."

Question 5 :  I can see you're getting tired, Penny.  Thus, just one more question.  You are known as Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  Does this fame come at a price?

Answer :  "As you know and I will share this with the person or animal reading this, I'm forever being hounded by the pesky 'puparazzi'.  You might not see them, Gary, but they are always lurking in bushes, around corners and trying to get that exclusive photo of me.  Oh, before I go and piddle on your bed, Gary, I'm writing a book titled, "My Previous Bark", which recalls my days of when I was a puppy and the day I chose the humans I would live with.  I shall never forget the day when little Tristan and I first saw each other...."

Thank you very much, Penny.   "You're welcome and with that I shall now sneak off and piddle on your bed!"

Monday, 23 July 2012

My Previous Book.

My previous book titled, "My Previous Book", has been seen in various trash cans all over the planet.  I find this disillusioning.  You would think, in this day and age, that people would recycle and put said book in the appropriate bin.
I have been swamped, nothing to do with the British weather, I have been swamped with aspiring authors asking me what's the secret to writing a novel.  Yes, slight exaggeration, but I've had a number of aspiring writers forward me their work and asked for my opinion.   I've been interacting with one writer, who is doing a very secretive science fiction concept book that entails some hopefully exciting news.
I once wrote a science fiction posting.  Thought it might be obvious that the narrator in the story was talking about the sighting of UFO's from a world we are familiar with.  The narrator was talking about witnessing people from earth and wondering if these sightings had peaceful intentions.  Somehow, the article got lost in translation. Thus, the posting backfired. I thought the ending paragraph might be a bit of a clue. "I stared up into the darkened sky.  A neon storm raged and distorted the view of our two purple moons.  I thought of what our world had witnessed.  Would the lights and the beings within, return?  Where do they come from?  If they do return; will they come in peace?" There's a lot to be said about writing science fiction that captures the imagination.  If you have the time or the inclination, here is the link to my attempt at science fiction, Where Do They Come From?   
Another one of my books, written previously to My Previous Book, titled, "How Not To Write A Book", is now available on 'eekPublishing'. A few um 'highlights' of How Not To Write A Book, include alternate definitions to words.  Here are some examples.  "Condescending", definition: 'prisoner abseiling'.  "Analog", definition: 'A diary of all the crap times in your life'.  "Analogy", definition, 'the scientific study of assholes'.  Indeed, How Not To Write A Book, is strewn with the finest of grammar anarchy, complete with run-on sentences that frankly, leave you gasping for breath.......
Now for something completely serious.  I have the utmost admiration for writers, aspiring and published.  If you are still waiting for that day that you realise your publishing dream, hold on to that dream and do your best, with dedication and determination, to see your dream become that cherished reality.
My next book, "Fifty One Shades Of Shit", is almost complete.  No writing 'constipation' with this one.  As a matter of fart, I mean, as a matter of fact, I'm all flushed with excitement knowing this book will be must reading for a wide variety of folks, notably sewage treatment workers.  And with that, this posting has reached the bottom.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Very Much Like A Newborn Child.

The wonders of nature enchant me, allure me.  I've been feeling rather sad and the words typing in my head were words of woe, of sadness, of doom, of gloom.  I needed some inspiration and the wonders of nature, called my name.  Cast aside those dreary thoughts, said the world outside my window, and let the words of awe, of appreciation, bring you from the clouds of pain and into the rays of hope.  
For the last few days, three foxes, a vixen, a reynard and their cub, have been wandering through my garden.  Several times I tried to discreetly photograph them all together.  All I managed was a bunch of blurry photos.  The above photo is about the only one that turned out fairly well.  This photo was taken from my living room window.  And like a fleeting fox, the fleeting negative words that had typed away in my mind, vanished as I marvelled at such a captivating vision.
Today we had a glimpse of that mysterious glowing orb in the sky.  Enough rays of sunshine to make the solar lamps glow.  I sit here on a gentle early morning and I listen very carefully.  Outside is the haunting sound of a fox.  A sound very much like that of a newborn child.  Today is going to be a very good day.

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Long To Rain Over Us.

Today's forecast for Britain is rain, followed by more rain, followed by heavy showers, followed by more rain, followed by yet more, somewhat heavier rain and finally easing to a  torrential downpour.  
Yes, in Britain, it's been raining a lot.  It's raining cats and dogs.  Ha, ha, watch out for the 'poodles'.  It's coming down in buckets and even hailing cabs.  It's raining men!   Hallelujah, right?  Heck, even the Queen is 'raining' over us. 

According to British weather sources, the cool , dark, dismal and wet conditions are due to the "jet stream" being too far south for this time of the year.  Not so sure about "stream"....seems more like a 'jet raging river' has overflowed these shores.  I've basically given up on what you see in the above photo.  Yes, I kept bringing in the solar lamps and put in fully charged batteries.  Only to take the fully charged solar lamps back out to my garden and have them fade to a flickering glow within a couple of days.

It seems but a distant memory that we had a clear night sky.  Oh how I miss the drop of moon falling from the leaves.

Here is a photo of a sunny July morning.  I fondly recall such days.  And yet, I know, despite this awful weather, I have much to be grateful for.  For I realise what horrendous extremes that many in our world have been experiencing.  There are many who would love to have a share of our rain.  The worldwide weather has been of great concern.  I hope all is okay with you and that your weather is bearable.  

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Kreativ Kapers Kontinue.

I'm a little behind.  Yes, I'm getting my butt into shape.  Okay, I'm a little behind in acknowledging the above award.  The "Kreativ Blogger Award" was bestowed upon me by our good friend Ian, over at this site, Views From the Bald Patch .  And thus, I've been 'tagged'.  That way, the authorities can make sure I maintain my blogging curfew.

Now then, here are some rules I'm supposed to adhere to.  
1:  Thank the blogger who nominated me for the award and provide a link back to their blog.  (Thank you, Ian and the link is in the top paragraph.)
2:  List seven things about myself that the reader might find interesting.   (Yeah right)
3:  Tag seven other bloggers, providing links to their blogs and informing them.

I really appreciate you bestowing this award upon me, Ian.  Congratulations on you and your family becoming Canadian citizens.  Enjoy and go easy on the maple syrup.

Seven fascinating facts about me that will thrill you to the point of joyous celebration. 

1:  I've had my alleged comedy featured on a radio station named, "talkSPORT".
2:  I went to the last ever "Soccer Bowl" in Vancouver, back in 1983.
3:  I bumped into two naked ladies in a remote forest in British Columbia.  I recall blushing and trying to have a conversation with them.  I said, "Oh, don't worry about being naked.  I'm not staring or anything..."  And with that, I walked back to my campsite.
4:  I had my car shown on the local news in Vancouver.  My 1964 Plymouth Valiant had been hit and run twice within three months.  I got so angry I taped the word "OUCH!" on the side of my car.  Much to my surprise, there was the 'Ouchmobile' on the local news..  The newscaster made a fleeting comment about some driver was obviously a little annoyed about something.
5:  I used to be a playboy, I mean a  paper boy.  And no, I wasn't made out of paper.   My deliveries of the paper were aided by the use of a bicycle with no handles and two flat tyres (tires).  
6:  I watched Terry Jacks in a high school lunchtime concert when he was in a band called "The Poppy Family". His then wife, Susan, was the star of the show.  And Terry went onto have a bit of fame with that song. "Seasons in the Sun".  
7:  I had a television crew from the show, "House Doctor", audition me for a potential episode to get my house renovated.  They sent me a letter telling me that I had finished second out of all the auditions.  The letter stated that they considered my house "Too ambitious of a project."  Imagine if my doctor said that to me.  The house that was featured was a house in Stoke on Trent.  My mother over in Canada told me she had seen that episode.  I told her that was the house selected over mine.  Oh well, what the heck.  Yes, the house did sell about two months after House Doctor visited me.

I shall now provide a list of seven bloggers who will, no doubt, be thrilled with getting this award.  However, I want them to know they should feel no obligation to post up the award or make mention of me.  You can always just stick the award in your blogging 'trophy cabinet'.  
I'm going to forward these awards to bloggers who have few 'followers' and I believe, deserve more awareness. 

The Kreativ Seven are:

7:  Chaos and Kairos   

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Even Further Back.

It had been suggested in a comment by Laura, at this site, Austanspace and I quote, "I gotta get a scanner.  We should all show of our funny clothes from the 70s." And a follow up comment in the article I'm referring to, "Briefly Back To The Seventies", was made by Sharon at this site, Random Thoughts, that we might attempt this, " I don't know how to do it, but I think it would be good fun to do a photo blogfest from the 80's. For women we had great hair and fashion....Maybe I'll try and figure out how to organise a blogfest....."
Okay, the seventies, the eighties, or whatever. I shall see what transpires and if a blogfest is organised, than so be it. It might be fun to reflect and could provide some rather interesting history lessons for the younger generation.  

And now I go even further back. Yes, that's me, the one sitting on the pony.  The year is 1958 and I'm about four and a half years old.  The location is the London Zoo. I wonder what the young me was thinking.  How would he react to the older me.  I believe he would be encouraged to know that despite the passage of time and the influences of the more cynical world, that the older me has never lost the childlike curiosity that beat in the heart of a little boy on a pony.

To the little boy on the pony.  Here is a photograph of your own beloved son when he was of a similar age.  His name is Tristan.  Through the good times, the tearful times and the times of rejoicing, your son has been a source of inspiration that kept you alive.  Today your son wished you a happy birthday.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

"From Bonavista To Vancouver Island..."

Greetings, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star!  On behalf of my human Gary, who I so kindly allow to live with me, we wish all the animals and humans of Canada, a peaceful, positive and safe, "Canada Day".  
I would kindly ask the Canadian humans to be very careful with fireworks and ideally, please go to a controlled public display.  All the loud bangs and bright lights can be very frightening to some of us animals and the next week in North America can be a most worrying time for the more timid of your precious wildlife..  
Anyway, enjoy, have fun, rejoice in living in one of the most beautiful and diverse lands on the planet.  

The above video has one of my Canadian dog superheroes, "Hosehead".  You may also note those legends of Canada, "Bob and Doug McKenzie".  They did a song with the vocalist from that great Canadian band, "Rush".   "Geddy Lee" of Rush did a collaboration song with them titled, "Take Off".

And here is the song. "Take Off", eh!  Good day eh , Canada!