Thursday 8 November 2012

A Pothole On The Writing Road.

Here it is, the early hours of a Thursday morning and I cannot sleep.  Any semblance of focused writing has been tested to the extreme with a series of negative influences that threaten my desire to maintain a healthy, fulfilling balance in my life.

Workplace bullying, physical, financial and psychological, cost me my house, my life savings, my marriage.  So traumatised was I that I nearly drank myself to death.  And now the past I have been trying to make sense of, to try to move on from, is being dredged back up by a heartless government who wants to test me to determine if they consider me capable of going back to work.

We are hearing the horror stories.  People too ill to work are having their incapacity benefits removed, placed on jobseeker's allowance and are expected to go and find jobs that don't exist.  It's a cynical ploy by the British government to cuts the benefits of the vulnerable in half.

I never asked to become ill.  I wanted to be a contributing member of society.  Yet, I did get ill.  An unrelenting negative environment virtually destroyed the remaining fragments of my dignity.  I did a lot of volunteer work within the mental health field until I could take no more when a certain mental health charity reinforced my mental health issues.  And thus, I started staying at home, reclusive and finding a therapy by writing.

I do my best to turn what seems as negatives into positives.  However, I am really struggling with this.  I have a daunting questionnaire to fill in that is causing much anxiety.  I have the ongoing nightmare of anti-social neighbours who have left me no choice but to give up a house I treasured and a garden that was created out of love and hope.

I'm trying to not let negative speculation drive me to another breakdown.  Maybe all will be okay.  I will do my utmost to make it so.  What I do know is that I thought that my writing was starting to get better and that my dream of being a published author, complete with the fancy book cover, would come to fruition.  Right now, it all hangs in the balance.  If I am forced back to work in a job market where no jobs exist, it will destroy me.  And if did get another job, I would live in fear of further bullying.

Trying to look at this as a pothole on the writing road.  Must pick myself up, desperately cling onto the motivation that drove me me this far.  Yes, I'm sick, I'm scared and waves of panic, shivers of anxiety are keeping me awake.  With trembling hand, I click on publish....

77 comments:

  1. Cling to it, Gary! You are nothing but a positive influence to us here online. We know you can do it!

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    1. Hi Alex,

      Thank you and decent folks such as you help me pick myself up and dust myself off. I needed to verbalise this. In kindness and gratitude, Gary

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  2. I know how panic can take a stronghold to your throat and make it feel as if your soul is being choked to death. You have to shake like a dog, literally. Shake the crap off you. They can do whatever they want to your situation, but they can't mess with your spirit. Your strong, vital spirit. In this very still moment, you have a graceful life with a son who loves you, with Penny who tolerates you. You also have us. We're here no matter what, lending an ear. Always.

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    1. Hi Joylene,

      Thank you, my dear friend. Many a force has tried to break many a spirit. Like you, I know that whatever is there to block our ways, the resilience, the determination, motivates us to keep in sight that positive focus. I think of the good that blesses my life and I am profoundly grateful. Your support and encouragement, Joylene, the rallying cry of this community, are cherished gifts. I thank you.

      In gratitude and peace, Gary

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  3. Hang on friend. Don' t give in and don' t give up. Find the strength you need.

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    1. Hi Arleen,

      Thank you, my friend. By verbalising my feelings and by the positive strength I embrace from you all those who show such kindness, I will make it so.

      In gratitude and kind wishes, Gary

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  4. I always wonder how these government crackdowns invariably manage to penalize the genuinely needy, while miraculously allowing those who know how to "work" the system to continue sponging with impunity. It makes me so mad.

    You have the strength to pull through this, Gary. Don't let the buggers get you down!

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    1. Hi Ian,

      Oh, I hear you on that one, Ian. And this government is targeting the truly vulnerable, while the cons keep conning. And wouldn't it be nice in these times of austerity that they went after those who caused this mess.

      Thank you, Ian and I gather strength from your supportive words. I just wish they would leave those that are suffering, alone.

      With gratitude and thanks, Gary

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  5. Hang in there, kiddo. You've made it through worse than this, and you can make it through this, too. (And your writing is fine and dandy, so don't give up on that dream.)

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    1. Hi Susan,

      Thank you and I shall do my utmost to get through this. I just wanted to get on with my life and now I am being forced to dredge back up issues I wanted to move on from. I shall try and do some fine and dandy writing about never giving up on a dream, no matter what is thrown at you :) Thank you, Susan.

      With kindness and gratitude, Gary

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  6. Hold on to the positives. Those can outweigh the negatives and anchor you to finding ways to fit writing and the possibility of working into a doable puzzle.

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    1. Hi Angela,

      Thank you. I do my level best to turn what appears to be a negative into something positive. What scares me and it might well be negative speculation, but to go out and be in the workforce makes me think that I might be bullied again. For not only was I bullied for over eight years, I was psychologically bullied by an alleged mental health charity that I did volunteer work for. Hopefully, all will fall into some sort of positive puzzle.

      Kind and grateful wishes, your way, Gary

      Delete
  7. Dear Gary,
    I'm so sorry to hear that the dreaded ESA50 form and the situation with your neighbours is having such a negative impact on you. I have now sent my form off, and am waiting for a response. I can only hope that we both have the outcomes we desire. I'm sure that there are things on the form (such as how you cope with change and going out) that you would score highly on. If you can get a supporting letter from your GP to back up what is said in the form, then that may also help.
    The best of luck to you, then, Gare, and as Botanist says above, try not to let the buggers get you down! Please ring me if you feel that I can help in any way, or perhaps just for a mutual moaning session!
    Very Best Wishes and supportive vibes, your way,
    David.

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    1. Dear David,

      David, it's been a combination of that dreaded form, my awful neighbours and having to move to another home. It has become overwhelming. I know you are going through similar anxieties as you wait for a reply back. I am confident that I can fill out the form that proves that I am struggling. I just worry how they will see it. I was unable to see my own GP. He is booked solid for two weeks and then he is off for two weeks holiday after that. I saw a GP on Wednesday evening and he really didn't understand that I wanted a GP report on my condition. After several minutes of trying to explain, he said he would formulate a letter that I can pick up from the health centre in about a week's time. Unlike my GP who has now retired, this doctor hasn't a clue about me, even with the records readily available.
      We shall try to not let the buggers get me down. And that goes for you also, my buddy. We should have another moaning session, real soon. If nothing else, it might make us both feel a bit better. Thank you, David.

      In gratitude and hope, Gary

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  8. Gary, you've lived thru a lot. However this plays out, you know you'll survive, because that's what you do. This is a shock and as you let your mind adjust to the shock and not deny it you'll move thru. But you know that. We're here and we ain'ta going anywhere.
    Laura
    x

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    1. Hi Laura,

      Indeed I have and my dear friend, so have you. We survive because we will not let negative forces dictate our lives. The real shock is finding the courage to maybe confront my fears of being bullied again at a job. And the other shock is that if they took away my sickness benefit, I would be expected to survive on half the amount. I gather hope and comfort from you and all those who cheer me on, regardless. For that, I'm deeply inspired. Thank you, Laura.

      In kindness and positivity, your way, Gary
      x

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    2. Hey Laura,

      Oh wow! And love is what we all share....

      Delete
  9. HI Gary; Maybe when they ask you what your previous employment was, you should say "shephard". That way, IF they find employment for you, it will be quiet and reflective and you like the outdoors as well. Also you could take your four legged child with you to work. What could be more perfect. LOL. Hey, don't think I'm not sympathetic but you gotta let it go. Try to remain positive. I find at times like this that usually I am missing something in the puzzle and that's why it seems to pour with instead of trickle. YOu know you are loved and respected, shaky publish or not. And I always have your back. Take care, Friend.

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    1. Hi Heather P,

      Oh yes, I was going to be a shepherd, but you just cannot find the 'staff' these days! :) Penny would love to go and flock the sheep. That didn't sound right...

      You know that I did try to let it go. I didn't ask to go back over all that transpired to bring me to this point. You know how much I embrace a positive way and not let negative aspects sabotage my life. This is what I posted about, to hopefully be of help to others, a few postings back. I am trying to find positive reinforcement. You see, thanks to the form I am being forced to fill in, the relentless bullying has come back into my mind. I don't think, for one example, that anybody would like to be locked in a freezer, have the lights turned out and left in there for thirty minutes.

      Thank you, Heather. Whether I ever get published is not what really matters. If I can continue to verbalise and interact with dear friends such as you, that's one heck of an amazing result.

      In peace and gratitude, your way, Gary

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    2. Someone DID that to you?????? They should have been arrested. The devils.. I am so angry.

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    3. Hi Delores,

      Indeed they did amongst a number of 'pranks' to make my working life unbearable. Management was completely aware of what was going on and didn't want to get involved. Such was my rapidly deteriorating mental and physical health, I eventually went on the sick. The evil of bullies impacted every aspect of my life.

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    4. Well I can only say what my Mom used to tell me....."what goes around comes around" One of these days, they will pay for what they've done. You may not see it yourself but rest assured, everyone pays eventually. In the meantime, Gary, you rose above such animalistic behaviour and set a positive glowing example for others.

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    5. Hi Delores,

      Thank you for another supportive and caring comment. Your mother was wise. I occasionally see the bullies individually walking the streets. I look at them, I walk proudly by them and they aren't such bullies when they are on their own.

      I have my moments of panic from such a traumatic past. Yet, we know that a bully can never win. Your words are cherished, Delores. Thank you.

      In kindness, Gary

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  10. Don't let them get to you Gary. Just keep calm....breathe.... it's going to be all right. Positive energy headed your way.

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    1. Hi Delores,

      Thank you for that and I'm even trying to take note of my suggestions to others in those previous postings. And with controlled breathing, I'm thankful for your positive energy.

      With grateful thoughts, your way, Gary

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  11. Hello Gary:
    You are so very obviously going through an exceedingly bad period and for that we are so very very sorry. But, as others have said here, it is so important that you do not give in. Easier said than done, we know, but, believe it or not, there are those who need you and for whom you matter very much.

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    1. Hello Jane and Lance,

      These have been tough times that have tested my resolve to a degree that I thought would never happen again. I will not give in and the outpouring of concern, from you both, from all, have touched me profoundly.

      I know we are all here for each other. For that, I'm most thankful. Supporting each other gives me the determination to get through this return of a nightmare. Thank you, my friends.

      In gratitude and hopeful wishes, your way, Gary

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  12. Hi Gary - life sounds exceedingly challenging right now - getting that form filled in seems to be the main thing and will be a weight of your mind for a brief time (I know as you'll then worry re whether you'll still qualify or not) ... I sure hope you can get some support from the people who are meant to be helping you through/ with your illness.

    I'm on the end of an email - so please feel free - or a phone call .. having experienced a microscopic patch of the life you're experiencing right now ... I can only admire you for writing about it - and I'm delighted that we offer some support, some understanding normality for you ...

    Let us know how things are going .. please write and press that publish button as often as you can ... so we can be around and with you through the process ... many thoughts and I'll be thinking of you ... Hilary

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    1. Hi Gary - I meant to add here ... from my experience (thankfully very short) .. that the assessors haven't ever been in this type of situation .. so they don't understand, nor could they. Also that so many support workers too have never experienced your 'stress levels' because of the situations they've never found themselves having .... I understand considerably more (but microscopic in the scheme of life)than I used to .. with many thoughts .... Hilary

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    2. Hi Hilary,

      Life, with all its twists and turns, can be most daunting and frightening. The form brings back the pain and I dread going through it all again. The support I thought I had from one mental health charity in particular, was not support, but exploitation of my vulnerability. I became so disillusioned with the 'support' that I basically drifted back into my reclusive world. Thankfully, I do have some genuine friends who I manage to see in 3D reality every few months or so.

      Thus, the encouragement and compassion displayed by good people such as you and those others within this community, are like a lifeline to a tormented soul. I do know that we are all the experts on how we feel. All I asked was to be able to get on with my life. A right we all have without added stress to those who are so very ill.

      I am most thankful for your kind support, Hilary. Your interaction via an email or phone call, is kindly received.

      Thank you, Hilary. People such as you help me stay determined to see a way through this.

      With gratitude and kindness, your way, Gary

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  13. Hang on to your dream and continue to write!! There is hope, always! Take care
    x

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    1. Hi Old Kitty,

      I sure will. What with Penny urging me on with her writing examples and the support of your good self, I shall continue to focus on that dream and that hope..

      With kind wishes, Gary
      x

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  14. Dear Gary,
    I hope you realise just how much loved you are here in the blogosphere. And how much you have helped us when we have struggled. Go and talk to Penny, I think her hugs are just the medicine you need right now. Could your doctor help you fill out that rotten soul destroying form? Sending so many good wishes your way.

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    1. Hi The Elephant's Child,

      My dear friend, I am truly heartened by your warm and thoughtful words. I do try to bring hope and understanding to others who might need to seek or reinforce positivity in their lives. Penny is a wise dog and she has demonstrated to me about turning what is perceived as a negative into a positive result. I have been to see a doctor. Unfortunately, my usual doctor is unavailable. The form itself is something I need to mostly fill in myself. I can get the help of somebody in the know. All I could get from the doctor who doesn't really know me, is a medical report which I have been told will be ready sometime next week. I am most grateful for your good wishes.

      In kindness and gratitude, Gary

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  15. I don't mean to flatter you, really, but I must say....YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING. You are one of those writers who has the ability to capture the reader...If I dare say, your future is in writing. Honestly I would never say that, if I did not believe it. Fight for your writing, Gary! I am sure Penny agrees :).

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    1. Hi Petronela,

      That's okay, please flatter me :) I am extremely encouraged and heartened by what you have written. Penny has tried to teach me to write in an intimate style that comes across as I am 'talking' via my words, to the one reader and not an audience. I think she is right in that approach. I shall not let those who are dredging up the pain of the past, deny me my writing dreams. Thank you, dear lady.

      Warm and peaceful thoughts, your way, Gary :)

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  16. Keep writing, Gary - you have a wonderful way with words. Sending you heaps of positive energy and kind thoughts x

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    1. Hi Teresa,

      Thank you for such encouragement. I am flattered that a terrific writer such as you would make such an observation. Your positive energy and kind thoughts are warmly welcomed.

      In peace and grateful thoughts, Gary

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  17. "sick, scared, waves of panic, anxiety attacks"; these are all my ex too. He has been mentally ill his whole life, with fear and paranoia being his biggest problems. The same type of bulls*** is going on here with our government and every time something is in the papers or on the news, L gets another panic attack. So I know how you are feeling.

    You do write wonderfully about this subject and I wonder if you could write information leaflets from home, on your computer, and email them to a mental health company/organisation and would that qualify as part time employment, thus satisfying the government.

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    1. Hi River,

      I thank you so much for your understanding. I wasn't sure if I described it well enough. What these governments are doing is an outrage and a brutal attack on those who the most fragile in society.

      You make a most thoughtful suggestion. I have been involved doing such work supplying information on a purely volunteer basis for various mental health organisations. If I was to actually get some monetary reward out of it, that would satisfy the government. Something to contemplate and thanks for that.

      With kindness and appreciation, Gary

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  18. I literally feel your pain. It's those least able to deal with the red tape that get stuck with it. I'm so sorry to hear that life is throwing you for a giant loop right now. But as you always say to me, keep up the positives and count your blessings. You've got friends and we care.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/

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    1. Hi Tina,

      It is a most tangible pain and the bureaucracy compounds the stress and anxiety. I do always endeavour to be a positive influence and try to inspire. I hope that this verbalisation will be a form of positive therapy. Your caring friendship and the caring friendship of others I receive, is a cherished gift. Thank you, Tina.

      Continued good life wishes, your way, Gary

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  19. As Austanspace would say, "The Bastids!". I've been there, lost my (rented) home, fell into the clutches of social services who made me think I could have a decent life again, was taken in by a friend who then decided I needed to pay her rent while waiting for my disability hearing or become homeless. That's how I ened up as a supermarket cashier for the last 5 years. I share the problem with offical forms. But you know what, we all survive this. You will too. From your writing (which I enjoy - and you damn well better keep at it, please) it is eveident that you are strong - you've gotten through this much. We're all rooting for you to get through this next patch. Bestest to you and Penny.

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    1. Hi sdt,

      Ah yes, "The Bastids!" You, my friend, have experienced all the worst that an indifferent, uncaring social services, or should that be, 'unsocial services', can chuck your way. You are an inspiring example of showing resilience and determination when just giving up could have been an awful alternative. Many kudos to you. And yes, despite those who would have the audacity to mess with our right to a peaceful life, we survive.

      My writing is therapy. I needed to get this out of my system. And with such incredible support, I know I will keep moving along that road to a better life. Oh yes, help each other, we help ourselves. Thank you kindly.

      With respect and admiration, Gary

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  20. We are all here for you (even those of us who aren't commenting so frequently these days) and wish you well. Sending good thoughts . . .

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    1. Hi Susan Scheid,

      It is so good to have you come by and show such caring support. I seem to have misplaced your whereabouts since you changed your blogging application. Must rectify that. Your good thoughts are a gift I gratefully receive.

      In kindness and goodwill, Gary

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  21. Sorry, typo.

    I can't stand the Tories. They always prey on the most vulnerable in our society, the poor, the sick, the elderly, children. They don't care about anyone but their own rich friends. David Cameron is good friends with Rupert Murdock's crowd. That should tell us everything we need to know about him.

    Hang in there, Gary. I've always found that just when I thought I couldn't go on, I found some inner strength. I know you have that too, otherwise you wouldn't be here talking to us.

    Jai

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    1. Hi Jai,

      Typo has been removed :) I too despise the Tories and I am absolutely incensed at the Liberal Democrats betraying their alleged morals and forming a coalition with such evil. David Cameron and his rich buddies are a disgrace. Yes indeed, why go after those who caused this misery in the first place. So much easier to target the least fortunate in society. I cannot wait for the next election. We hope that the youth vote comes out in mass.

      Thank you, Jai and I take heart in what you say. The inner strength is something I am clinging onto. My verbalisation is testimony that I will find a way. You are very kind, Jai. I'm most grateful.

      In peace and hope, Gary

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  22. Hold onto your dreams of being a published writer, Gary. Success maybe just around the corner so keep travelling along the road. Take care.

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    1. Hi Suzanne Furness,

      Thank you, Suzanne. Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, recently did a guest posting about holding onto one's writing dreams and making that dream a wondrous reality. I appreciate your kind thoughts. And around the next corner may well be, through such adversity, a magical place.

      With kind wishes and positivity, Gary

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  23. I think the best thing I can say now is that I am sending positive wishes your way, and hope that the stresses reduce sooner rather than later. I hope that Penny is there to bring positivity and calm at this time.

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    1. Hi Lost in Space,

      Thank you and I'm most thankful for your positive wishes. And I know you understand. May this stress being imposed on so many, soon be replaced with a peaceful calm. And Penny brings much sweet innocent joy into my life.

      With kind and hopeful thoughts, your way, Gary

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  24. My heart is just aching as I am reading this. I can so feel your pain.
    Your government sounds like ours. We have "unemployment" that only lasts a brief period of time and one could never live on that alone.
    Is it possible for you to work part time?
    Why do you think you would be bullied in a new place?
    I am also sending you positive vibes, you are a good person, who is stronger than you think!

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    1. Hi Caren,

      The pain is deep and pain I had tried to move on from.
      "Jobseeker's allowance" is the equivalent to "unemployment insurance".

      There might be a possibility that I can work part time. Although the benefit system over here has been so radically altered, I do not know what the options will be at this time.

      Since I moved to England, I endured horrific bullying at one workplace and the details are incredibly painful. I was targeted because I was 'different'. "F**k off back to Canada, was just one example of the verbal abuse I received. I have also done volunteer work for four different mental health related charities. Only one of those charities treated me with respect, but sadly my work ended with them when they lost their funding. I have been subjected to corruption, blatant lies and guilt trip bullying at those other charities. Thus, I'm raw and I'm scared. If I was forced to go back to work, I would hold onto the hope that this time all would be okay. I do not want to have negative speculation fill my being. However, you might see why I am very nervous about working.

      Your positive vibes are warmly received. I gather strength from this and I thank you very much. All I want, like you want, is a peaceful, positive life. Thank you, Caren.

      With kindness and gratitude, Gary

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  25. I am sorry about all the hardships that you had to go through. Hang in there. Just remember that people cannot control us about how we respond to their attitude. They can do whatever they want, they are just wasting their time, if we ignore them. I know it is easier said then done, but one day you will be so strong that no matter how people bother you, you will do great. We are all on your side.

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    1. Hi Munir,

      I thank you for such kind, supportive words. I try not to give those who try to impose negativity, the oxygen they seek. I do try, with my positive reinforcement and the kindness of good people such as you, to maintain that positive focus and hold my head high. I am grateful to you, Munir.

      In gratitude and peace, Gary

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  26. I can't understand sending a long questionnaire to people who have emotional problems that remove them from the work force. Wouldn't it be more productive for you to answer every question with an answer that doesn't remotely apply to the question?

    When were you last employed? "Yellow"
    Have you been seeking employment? "Window, scary"

    Could this possibly be in your worst interest to comply with intelligent answers? You ARE intelligent, but I don't think they "get it". Intelligent people are THE MOST prone to paralyzing mental problems.

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    1. Hi lotta joy,

      It is actually a questionnaire to try to force the sick, the vulnerable, back into a workforce where few jobs exist. By failing people on the questionnaire and distorting the evidence in face to face meetings, this immoral government can cut the benefits of the sick by half. Unemployment benefits are about half what one gets on sick pay.

      I know how to approach the questions and my answers. I have also gone through this before and ended up at an assessment where the doctor wrote down complete opposite answers to what I stated. Months of hell ensued and I won a tribunal. I just don't see the point in making the sick have to dredge back up all the pain. Some of the most gifted people of our time had debilitating mental health issues. Your thoughts and support are thankfully received.

      In peace and good wishes to you, lotta joy.

      Gary

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  27. Gary, I'm going to echo what everyone is saying, YOU ARE FABULOUS!!! and don't you forget it. We are always our own worst enemies!!!! Just remember that the past is the past and this very moment you are a new and different person. You have all these amazing people supporting you, so allow the love and support to up lift you. Sometimes when we are going to break through to a new and improved level of life, it seems to get worse, so just hold on because I know FABULOUS things are happening and going to happen. I just know it!!! And here I'm using the word FABULOUS again, and YES, YOU ARE A FABULOUS WRITER!!!
    Biggest hug ever,
    Suzanne

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    1. Hi Suzanne Bean,

      Thank you and I'm flattered by what you have so thoughtfully said. Yes we are our own worst enemies and should pay heed to the good advice we give to others and utilise in our own lives. I am usually an upbeat guy and I have done what I can to leave the past in the past, learn and move on. What has been imposed on me and so many, has dredged up the past I was trying to move on from.

      I believe you are right that it's darkest before the dawn. I am being bombarded with a series of negative energy that I'm trying so hard to counteract. The incredibly caring support and encouragement of you and all these wonderful people within this community, give me the determination to challenge this. A negative into a positive. Your words are cherished, dear lady.

      Much respect, hugs and appreciation, your way, Gary

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  28. wow, if that's how you write in the dead of night, that is pretty awesome! i agree, writing, of any kind, is great therapy!!

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    1. Hi Tammy,

      I just sit here and see what happens. Let the fingers dance on the keyboard and see what happens :) I have found writing to be a most therapeutic and cathartic resource. Thank you very much for your kind words.

      Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

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  29. I haven't looked at the other comments others have made, Gary, but I empathize with you. If I was there with you right now, I'd try my best to comfort you by any means possible, dude. That's terrible that your government is making you go through this shit. trying to push you back to work when, clearly, you have problems that would make that possibility a mistake.

    I know you face a daunting challenge ahead of you. No matter what happens, I hope you find the inner strength you've shown before, to go forge ahead, no matter what obstacles they throw at you.

    Also: I really hope your dreams of writing that book come to fruition. You're a great writer. Since I've been a fan of your blog for what? The last five or six years? I've seen you put out posts and that are amazing works of art when it comes to the written word.

    On a side note, too, I've been thinking, seriously, about quitting my blog soon and putting my writing focus on creating a book, myself. I've dreamt of doing that since I was a kid. I already have the plot line in my head.

    Hopefully, you neighbor problem will be resolved soon. I know that's wreaking havoc on your nerves. I'm crossing my fingers for you and Penny.

    Take good care of yourself, my friend, and remember, as always, if you need somebody to write to and interact with via email, private messaging or however, I'm a good listener and I'll try to help.

    Sending you wishes of peace,

    Kelly

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    1. Hi Kelly,

      I am grateful for your supportive words and your understanding of this situation through your empathy. This government is targeting every sick and vulnerable person in Britain. It has caused a great deal of unnecessary anxiety. It really is the government's way of forcing the sick onto unemployment benefits and cutting their money by half. If they remove the disability benefit at a later time, there will be people who will have had about a 70% reduction in benefits.

      I am most encouraged about what you say in regards to my writing. We have been interacting and sharing our writing experiences for a few years now. I know that we both try various writing genres and use our writing as therapy.

      I think we should both try and pursue our writing dreams. I wish you so much fulfilment with your creation of a book. However, I would hope you kept your blog going to keep us informed of what's happening. A good way to promote your published book!

      My neighbour problems are just as bad. This leaves me with no choice but to take legal action. More added stress we never asked for.

      I appreciate your willingness to interact and lend a supportive ear. And you know it works both ways, my friend :)
      Thank you, Kelly.

      Peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

      Delete
  30. Well, I'd be redundant here to express my thoughts - like so many of the comments above (Botanist really nailed that particular issue!) and I'd be repeating Kelly's nearly verbatim...so let me just remind you of all the friendships you've nourished here online, all the positive assistance you've offered whoever needed it, and all the wonderful accomplishments- great and small - that you've attained in recent years. You'll get past this, too, and I'm rooting for you to be unscathed by that ruthless government.

    Peace, positive thoughts and wishes your way

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    Replies
    1. Hi Kim,

      Ah yes, thank you and don't let the buggers get us down. Don't let them stand in the way of positivity. I shall hope that this evil government doesn't get its way and potentially reduce my benefits by about 70%.

      I do try to focus on all that is good in my life. My right to be happy has been attacked by several negative aspects of late. I am so heartened and inspired by your kind thoughts and all those who have told me to stand tall. Thank you, dear lady.

      Positive thoughts and wishes to you for the realisation of your new adventure :)

      Gary

      Delete
  31. Courage is a rare gift, and you have it, Gary. Strength is not measured by muscle cells or by bravado. It is measured by the determination to put one foot in front of the other. By spitting into the wind. By making eye contact with a bully and not blinking.

    You will do this, because I believe in you.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Susan Kane,

      Thank you for that and coincidentally I am going to mention about how I have mostly taken away the 'power' of the bullies that tried to destroy my world. My next posting will verbalise this. I draw strength and resilience from the kindness of good people like you. Thank you, Susan.

      In kindness and peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

      Delete
  32. writing is great therapy and you do it so well. I am alway captivated by what you write

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi becca,

      Thank you and I have witnessed how therapeutic writing can be for you and for those who read your heartfelt postings. I am appreciative of your thoughtful words. Thank you, becca.

      With peace and hope, your way, Gary

      Delete
  33. if you don't know of it already, go to the following site, I am a member and they have been absolutely invaluable in the past and shall be when I have to re-apply too. There is a subscription rate, which is to cover the workers time, and I pay it, but if you can't send me your email and I'll send onto you all the extra info and newest articles that tell you just how to explain your illness in a way that will not leave someone who needs help out in the cold. There are few things that get me down as much as this re-applying, proving you are ill. It is appalling. http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/
    X

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    Replies
    1. Hi All Consuming,

      I wasn't aware of that most informative site and the further info we be of much value. I thank you and I shall link into that site. I appreciate your offer, but I will be able to cover the subscription. I've been through this before and I am quite aware of what's best in filling it in. I will be describing all moments when I am at my worst. And you know, all too well, how disgraceful this all is. Making the sick even sicker is not the way forward. How bloody dare this most inhumane government in recent British history. I'm very grateful to you and I'm here if you need any support and comfort when your dreaded time arrives.

      Much respect and kindness, your way, Gary
      x

      Delete
    2. Thanks Gary, we all need to be there for each other. x

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    3. Hey All Consuming,

      Oh yes we do. We are facing the austerity measures while the rich that caused this mess seem to get away with it. Time to stand out and be counted. In peace, Gary x

      Delete
  34. This friend lives in Manchester, I think it is...oh, my god, she's been here--All Consuming that is. I was thinking of her because she too has been through angst over the possibility of her government pulling the net from under her. Anyway, I hope it works out for you.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Snowbrush,

      Thank you for your kind words. And yes, our dear friend, amongst many friends, knows of the cruel hell this evil British government is doing by targeting the sick, the vulnerable. I appreciate your wishes.

      In kindness, Gary

      Delete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.