Saturday, 30 January 2010
Where's Noddy's Car?
Last Monday I went for a test drive. This would be the first time that I had been behind the wheel of a car in just over two years. This would be the first time since the night an ambulance crashed into my car at a roundabout. Would I be calm? Would I be calm at a roundabout? Would the possible screaming siren of an emergency vehicle trigger a reaction of hysterical panic? Heck, would I recall which side of the road to drive on?
I got into the car and took a deep breath. The key went into the ignition and the car started up. So far, so good. Into gear and down the road, my nerves, my anxiety, began to flow away. It had been more than a test drive. This was a statement that I could challenge my fears and continue along in my own personal journey towards a better life.
I purchased the car. Today, Friday, I drove back the few, familiar miles to my home. I pulled up in front of my house, stopped the car, turned off the engine and tears streamed down my face. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. Tears of accomplishment. For today was such a wonderful day. This recluse, this shy and lonely recluse; had made a major step towards regaining freedom.
Now I will go and see all those beautiful places that beckon me. Places that are near, yet have seemed so far away. I want to explore. I want to smile with warm delight, as our little dog 'Penny' runs free through the hills and the dales of this 'green and pleasant land'. The world outside is there for me. This man who has battled his 'inner critic'; takes comfort in knowing that today was a day of personal triumph.
I sat in my car and dreamed about all the future adventures. Suddenly, I became startled by low whispering voices. Upon my steering wheel, were the 'beautiful fairy princess' and the 'garden gnome'. 'Where's 'Noddy's' car? At first, we thought this might be Noddy's car', stated the beautiful fairy princess, in a voice so adorable and soothing. 'I'm very sorry. I really have no idea where Noddy's car might be. Besides, this car is not red and yellow.' I replied. 'However, when my driving confidence gets better; perhaps you 'wee folks' would do me the great honour of going on a journey to magical locations? We can take the dog and my son has told me he would like to go bowling.' I added.
They whispered softly to each other. Then the beautiful fairy princess spoke. 'When the weather doth turn to spring and our hearts begin to sing; we, good sir, would be pleased for such a gathering.' Outside my car, I heard the toot of a horn. I looked up at the steering wheel and noticed the wee folks were gone. In the distance, down the road, I noted a red and yellow car. Today was a magical day.