Friday, 14 November 2008

You Wanna' Complain?

You wanna' complain? I wanna' complain. Is there a Complaint Department to complain about Complaint Departments?
Now then, you might feel the urge to complain about this blog. The reason? Because the rest of this blog has absolutely nothing to do with complaining. But hey, please read on, you can always complain about how the next few paragraphs will reveal how one dude (one obviously very bored dude), can ramble on with a whole load of disjointed musings.
I was wondering around the streets of Leek and noticed something that I would not have imagined in my wildest dreams. Heading towards me was a jogger...are you ready for this? A jogger with a smile on their face. Ofcourse, the fact they were wearing a very tight tracksuit, might just have been the reason for their beaming grin. Moving swiftly on (kinda' like our jolly jogger...).
Sometime around 1665 or 1666, Sir Isaac Newton 'found' gravity. Mr . Newton was drinking tea in his garden, he saw an apple fall to the ground. Sir Isaac started wondering why it fell, and finally concluded that the same force which caused the apple to fall also kept the moon in orbit around the earth. He reckoned the same force, or 'gravity', also kept the planets in orbit around the sun. if Sir Isaac 'discovered' gravity; what the heck was it like, in the year 1664, for instance? I can think of a typical scene. "John?!" "What troubles thee, my dearest Winifred?" "Grandmother Elizabeth and Grandfather Thomas are floating over yonder hill!" "Fear thee not, Winifred, for soon, a wise and wondrous man shall bring them back to earth." I shall end this paragraph by leaving it 'up in the air'.
Now then, here we go again, I shall leave you with a whole bunch of stuff to contemplate. I have been thinking about going camping. I like to have plenty of tents. I thought about the tents I once had, I looked at the tents I now have, indeed, I thought about the tents I want to buy. In other words: past, present and future tents. Yeah, I know 'Nomads' are 'in tents' lovers. Did all this talk of 'tents' make you 'tense'? Do you get it?
Do kangaroos, wallabies, toads and frogs listen to 'hip hop' music? Is 'Cape Town' the place that Batman was actually born? Have you ever seen anybody on a 'wild goose chase'? In Britain they say 'petrol', in North America, they say 'gasoline'. In Britain they say 'car park', in North America, they say 'parking lot'. Now when it comes to the following songs, the North American terms work better. Let me demonstrate: 'Putting our the fire with..'petrol' (uh no). 'Paved paradise put up a 'car park'. (I don't think so). Let me leave you with a rumour. Apparently, the promoters of 'Live Aid' and 'Woodstock' are combining forces to put on the greatest rock festival ever witnessed. The name of this festival? 'Livestock'. Headline band? Bet you can come up with one. Okay here's one suggestion, 'The Mooo..dy Blues'.
This very silly, disjointed blog is now, finally, drawing to a ridiculous conclusion. In you wanna' complain about most of this blog not being about complaining, may I suggest you find that Complaints Department that you can complain to about Complaints Departments. Finally, yes finally, that's if you're still here. I observed that glowing orb in the sky and said: "What do think about the demotion of poor Pluto? You don't care!? You cannot be 'Sirius'.


  1. Klahanie,
    If this is boredom we're in trouble. I offer support for your "in tents" dilemma.
    Wiping the tears,
    dc (dave clark) relief

  2. Sir Klahanie: Bravo! Alistair Cookie here. I love Issac's cousin "Figg" and I have a tent near the YardBirds.
    I do suspect you've overtaxed something with those dubba choco-chip cookies you ate; might I loan you "Fluffy" to complain to? He listens to all my complaints. I "wanna" help you...
    sincerely, Big AL.

  3. Hey Maan,
    I must agree with you, there ought to be a regulatory body that controls the standard of complaining. There has been a lot of shoddy and unseamen like complaining going on.
    I have a few word of encouragment for you; joggers nipple; Captain Cook; yes; and Uranus.

    Kind regards

    Friend of the Beavers

  4. Dear Klahanie,

    Once again I am impressed by your inane ramblings which, when put together, go to give the impresion of a seriously maladjusted mind. Only joking mate. Once again a funny and erm... funny blog.
    When I mentioned "the little blue feller" I did indeed mean Pluto. What did you think I meant? Hopefully nothing too prurient!

    Yours with Warmest Wishes,

  5. Thank you for your interesting comments.

    Hello dcrelief: Thank you for your support in my 'in tents' dilemma. Perhaps we should go outside the tent and roast marshmallows over the campfire?

    Hello Alistair: It is very nice of you to leave a comment. Glad to know that 'Fluffy' would listen to my complaints. 'Meow, meow'.

    Hello smallandsnappy: Hey maan! I know we both agree that complaining, if done well, can be a fine art form. Thank you for ending your few words of encouragement by talking about 'Uranus'. Seems kinda' fitting.

    Hello David: Thank you for being impressed with my "inane ramblings". I consider that a might fine compliment. Me "prurient"? An unhealthy interest in sexual matters? were referring to 'Pluto'? lol?

  6. Hi Gary,

    Great post as ever, I think the comments about the tent were 'pitched' just about right!



  7. Hi Darren,
    Thanks for that. Yours what not a 'teepeecal' response:-)
    With respect, Gary.


I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.