Friday 11 April 2008

'Teenanger', 'Teenangel'.



We had a signicant event occur at the 'Klahanie' household the other day. My teenage son, bless the 'well ace' dude, actually found the 'on' switch to the vacuum cleaner. No wait, it gets better. Not only did he find the on switch, he proceeded to push the button and began to vacuum his room. Stunned, I rushed towards a chair. Good thing, because if I hadn't, I know I probably would have found myself slumped on the floor checking out my carpet.
Talking to my teenage son, I often say the following. "Hi son, how are you?" On a good day he may respond with a "grunt!" I must appreciate to acknowledge the 'old man' takes a considerable amount of effort. I mean, how dare I? What is how 'he's doing' got to do with me? I must realise that my concern for his wellbeing may be construed as the old guy being nosey.
On a thoroughly exceptional day, perhaps in a moment of weakness, my teenage son inquires of me: .."are you okay Dad?" Now the rules change and I respond to his question. Being ever mindful of my reaction, I reply (well usually) in a way that does not upset him. No I don't say: "You're asking me if I'm okay? Is there something wrong with you?" No that could possibly cause him to get right pissed off. So being such a wonderful Dad? I resist silly temptation and normally say: "Im fine thanks..and you?" "Grunt" he replies. Doh!
I have learnt to show a bit of interest in my son's achievements. Not too much though, for that borders on showing more interest than is allowed. I have discovered the balance in prasing him without embarrassing him. It is better to acknowledge his accomplishments, just a little bit, than be totally oblivious to his hopes and dreams. I try to maintain a happy medium in my home. Not always easy, but those special moments when teenage son wants to chat with his old man makes it all worthwhile.
My son's room is a 'no go area' for an old dude like me. It is pretty surrreal to think that there is his room just a few feet away from me. Yet dare I even have the audacity to enter his room? No bloody chance! However, I had a look in his 'tip', I mean bedroom. Did I sneak in when he was out? Well no. What I did was go on to Youtube and typed in his 'secret' nickname..lo and behold, there was his room! I think maybe, I should have not gone on to Youtube...but hey, he has some very interesting posters! What a nosey old git I am.
Ofcourse, I was a well-behaved, polite teenager. I'm sure my family would vouch for that? No, I was a teenager struggling with the realisation of leaving childhood and becoming a man. The teenage years are a complex, confusing time. I'm kinda' still a bit of a teenager at heart. My life is complex, when I desperately wanted simple. My world is confusing, when all I desired was a straightforward path. So to my teenage son, I do my best to understand and be there when you need me. "Hi son how are you?" "Grunt!" Doh!

7 comments:

  1. Dear Klahanie,
    Oh the old father and son relationaship. It is always rather difficult isn't it? I've never been a dad, but I have been a son, and your relationship with yours seems about par for the course. Until I was past 21, I harboured a massive resentment towards my dad, but growing up has made me see him in a different perspective and we are now best of mates. So, I'm sure you are making a great job of being a listening and not too intrusive dad. And if my relationship with my own dad is anything to go by, things can only get better and you have lots to look forward to.
    With Very Best Wishes,
    David.

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  2. Klahanie, You're a great Dad and your son is very fortunate. I'm very fortunate to have discovered for myself what a polite, diligent young man you have as a son.

    See you soon,

    Emma

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  3. Hi Daddio. Good blog - I can't give you any personal experience as a son but if father-son relationships are anything like mother-daughter ones then it takes all the diplomacy of the UN to broker any sort of discussions, be it world peace or just 'how did your day go?' I can't imagine what it's like to be a parent but I'm guessing it's one of the hardest jobs in the world. All I can say is, you've got off to a good start just by being there for your son. Plenty of dads (and mums) can't even say that.

    All the best.

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  4. Hi Daddio. Good blog - I can't give you any personal experience as a son but if father-son relationships are anything like mother-daughter ones then it takes all the diplomacy of the UN to broker any sort of discussions, be it world peace or just 'how did your day go?' I can't imagine what it's like to be a parent but I'm guessing it's one of the hardest jobs in the world. All I can say is, you've got off to a good start just by being there for your son. Plenty of dads (and mums) can't even say that.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Daddio. Good blog - I can't give you any personal experience as a son but if father-son relationships are anything like mother-daughter ones then it takes all the diplomacy of the UN to broker any sort of discussions, be it world peace or just 'how did your day go?' I can't imagine what it's like to be a parent but I'm guessing it's one of the hardest jobs in the world. All I can say is, you've got off to a good start just by being there for your son. Plenty of dads (and mums) can't even say that.

    All the best.

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  6. I have to confess that I have no experience of sons, but I think that relationships are complicated no matter who with!

    We can only do our best, and I know that you do exactly that!

    I find myself taking comfort in the fact that we regularly hurt most the ones we love best...

    Take Care.x

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  7. Hi Klahanie.It is nice to have a son. I am sure you are a wonderful father doing your best for your son. I miss my dad. I thought the world of him. It is a very special relationship between father and son. I am sure your son really appreciates you. As time goes by the bond between you will grow ever stronger.

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.