Saturday 20 September 2014

Moving Mayhem Mixed With Hospital Hilarity.

I'm mega sorry for my noticeable absence in the world of blogging.  Oh, you hadn't noticed?  Oops.

Seriously, I've been overwhelmed by the background concern I've received.  I've been absolutely terrible at responding.  I have been crap at replying to emails.  Please forgive me!  I feel awful about my lack of interaction.  It looks like it's going to be about another week of uncertainty and chaos in my personal life.

The past three months have been a most stressful time in my weird and wacky world.  Complications compounding crazy confusion.  My son was supposed to move into his new place on August 18.  Then the folks who were supposed to move needed more time.  My son's moving date was then supposed to be September 19.  Then, evidently, he's supposed to move into his new home on September 26.

In the meantime, he continues to stay with my ex wife.  If I was of a childish disposition, I might say this was revenge time on her.  Nah, I would never think that. Ha ha and HA!

While he continues to stay with her, he needs a ride to work.  No buses at the time of the morning he has to go to work.  Thus, Mr. Bleary Eyes gets up at 4:30 A.M. to get him to work.  Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar accompanies us.  Soon, she should be living with my son, Tristan.

During this insane time, I had to go to the hospital for a procedure last Thursday that wasn't exactly my idea of a fun time.  Because I wasn't going to be in any condition to drive home after the procedure, my dear friends, Julie and Philip, took me to the hospital and back.  This was the first time I've not gone to the hospital by myself.  I was grateful for the company.

My appointment was for 9:30 A.M.  Upon checking in I told Julie and Philip that I was going to go use the toilet.  I jokingly stated that a nurse would probably ask for me while I was in the toilet.  Wouldn't you know it, upon my return, there was a nurse patiently waiting for me.  It was still another five minutes to my procedure.  I told her that the procedure was for Philip....

The nurse briefed me about the procedure.  Yes, a procedure where the stick a flexible tube down my flexible tube.  "Stan will be looking over proceedings", said the lady nurse.  "Stan's a good laugh!", she continued.  "Great!  I could use a good laugh!", I responded.

I was then sent to a changing room to put on a couple of robes.  "Please remove all your clothes and put on the robes", said another lady nurse.  "You can keep on your socks and trainers", she continued.

I sat there in a comfy chair and waited for about ten minutes.  "Do the blue robes suit me?", I asked the nurse.  She laughed.

Stan the man came over and led me into the room where they would stick a tube in my tube and have a look round with a telescopic camera.  Stan left the room.  I was now alone with three female nurses and a female doctor.  The very friendly, very young, very good looking female doctor explained further about the procedure.  She noted that I'd had a prostate biopsy.  Her notes didn't have the actual date and she asked me if I could recall when I had the biopsy.  Without hesitation, I told her that it was Valentine's Day, 2013. A Valentine's Day I would never forget.  I fondly recall the single prickly rose they stuck up my butt.  No, I made that part up.

Time to go on the bed and open the front of my robe.  All I could think of was that I was going to be lying on a bed with my dignity exposed.

"Pardon me while I have an out of body experience!", I stated to the four ladies.  However, I couldn't resist looking at the screen as the doctor wiggled the tube around.  "I'm just going a bit further and circle back around", she explained.  "What the f**k!  How long is that tube?", I thought to myself.  I mean the tube in my tube, in case you were wondering.  Five minutes later it was all over.

I have been give new medication to see if it helps my waterworks.  The procedure indicated that my insides are pretty well okay.

I got back in Julie and Philip's car and I realised that I must have been medicated. I was wondering why we were driving on the wrong side of the road....Then I remembered I'm in England.

This was quickly typed post.  It's a very long post by my standards.  I wouldn't blame you if you skipped down to here and just read this part.  I just want to let you know that I'm very lucky, very blessed to be living in my new home.  Hopefully, in about a week, I can actually start to savour my new home and get on with my new life.  Heck, I haven't even had time to have empty nest syndrome.

You will note that comments are switched off.  Somehow, I going to try and do a bit of catching up with your blogs.  Yep, you've heard that from me before.  Thank you for being here.  It means more than you will ever know.