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I have received millions of emails that have asked me for help. They often start out like this, "Dear Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, I need your help! I'm addicted to blog hops and blogfests and writing competitions and writing challenges and I have this weird fascination with the alphabet and I can't seem to stop writing run-on sentences. Penny, I'm begging you. Can you help?"
So I send back an email stating, "Why this fascination with all those things?" The reply to my email goes something like this, "I love to be a part of a sharing, caring blogging community. Okay, maybe I have some other reasons. I join those challenges and even create my own challenges because I want to ego-trip and accumulate followers. There, I said it. What should I do, Penny? I'm obsessed!"
I reply, "My human friend, you need a blogfest detox. Try staying away from all those tours and just do some writing that shows your originality. It will take some practice, but you can do this. I'm here to help you. You have my total support.".
So concerned are the good folks at the "Blogger's Information Hotline", they have set up an additional number you can call if you need a trained counsellor to help you through the blogfest detox process. Which means, in addition to all the other number choices below, you will now note that number for the blogfest detox.
"For the latest blogfests information, press one. For the latest blog hops information, press two. To set up your own blogfest, or blog hop, or blog party that you make out is because you care about positive interaction, but actually it's your way of accumulating followers, press three. For the latest information on how to be a blatant blogging self-promoter, press four or three.. For how to be even better at leaving vague comments that have absolutely nothing to do with the posting, press five. To learn to be really good at being a cynical blogger, press six. To find out how to be an incredibly sarcastic blogger, press seven. To leave comments to humour 'comedy' bloggers and pretend that their stuff is funny, when you know it isn't, press eight. To find out more about "IWSG" or 'I Was Seeking Gary', press nine. To have all the options repeated and to add your own suggestions to the Blogger's Information Hotline, press zero.
For a priority call right through to a blogfest detox counsellor, press the * key, followed by the # key, followed by the 0 key, followed by listening to a recorded message that tells you all our blogfest detox counsellors are busy and please call back in a year's time."
Press 911 if you are suffering from Hemorrhagic Stroke from participating in too many blog fest/hop/parties/.
ReplyDeleteThank you Penny for offering help to those of us hopelessly addicted and unable to say NO.
Hi human Delores,
DeleteI am here to help you, my human friend. Along with the trained counsellors at the Blogger's Information Hotline, I'm here to detox you. Of course, you might not get through to the hotline.
Have a pawsitive Sunday.
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I'm calling Penny for an intervention....thanks Penny!!
ReplyDeleteWishing you both a great weekend :)
Hi human Mark,
DeleteAn intervention you shall have! You are welcome, my human friend.
A pawsitive Sunday to you.
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I know a couple people who've pushed six way too many times! Same with the vague comments,
ReplyDeleteI'd rather seek Gary.
Obsessed with getting more followers? Where on earth would I put them? Maybe I need to clone a few extra blogs to hold all of them.
Hi human Alex,
DeleteAh some are obsessed with "six". Thanks for the seek of my alleged human, Gary. I might go hide now.
Not you. No need for such an obsession. Which reminds me, that cloning machine? Any chance of sending it this way. My human just cannot keep up. We actually lose followers on this site. Still, neither Gary or myself cares about that. How convincing was I.
A good Sunday to you, Alex. Great comment! Thanks for sharing!
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
You will wear the number nine off a lot of phones that way. All of us are seeking Gary (and Penny) even the ones who don't know it yet.
ReplyDeleteHi Human Sue,
DeleteI cannot find the number nine button on my phone. Doh, its a dial phone! Arf! Arf! I want to unseek Gary. As for Penny, minus the pupparazzi, seek away!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Delores knows waaayyy too much about me...hemorrhagic stoke impending doom!
ReplyDeleteBlogfests are exhausting! I tried pressing all the buttons, twice. Nothing worked.
Hi human Susan,
DeleteDelores and Susan doing an impeding doom collaboration posting.
Pushing the buttons twice can almost be as exhausting as those ridiculous blogfests! They aint working either.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Oh. My. Gosh...
ReplyDeleteI am dying... DYING... !!!!!!!! (Any help with exclamation point detox????)
This couldn't have come at a more perfect time... already I have the shakes...
Gary, this is genius. I'm laughing my "real" laugh right now. Not my fake blogger laugh...
My favo(u)rite are the comments that are so obvious they didn't read my post. Where it's clear they only read the title or last line, lol... my hubby & I get a kick out of it.
Love how real you are. It's actually really refreshing. :-)
Oops... I was addressing Gary... my apologies, Penny. I need to give credit where credit is deserved! ;-)
DeleteHi Human Morgan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteThe Blogger's Information Hotline doesn't have a number, as of yet, that you can call in regards to dying and the over-usage of the exclamation mark or questions marks!!!!!????
Thanks for not doing the fake laugh. Please save that for this one, "To leave comments to humour 'comedy' bloggers and pretend that their stuff is funny, when you know it isn't, press eight."
Somebody not actually reading your post? My human did a time-saving post, that highlighted the good bits and told the reader to then skip to the bottom sentence.
I am Penny and I'm refreshingly real :) Thank you. I shall overlook you referring to me as Gary. Yikes! :)
Great comment! Thanks for sharing!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hahaha!!!! Oh dear... Penny, you've outdone me with exclamation points... you win!!! (Unless your paw got stuck on the the 1 key... ???
DeleteI'm not sure who I prefer talking to more. You or Gary!
I want to call the help line just to talk to Wonder Woman. How does she do all that superhero stuff and still look so good? I want to know her secrets. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi human Lexa,
DeleteWonder Woman is currently unavailable. She's over at the super plastic surgeon's office getting her tucks, tucked. As for natural beauty secrets and superhero capers, you can always ask me. Arf! Arf!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Send Penny to me Gary, could do with some common sense here.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Hi human Yvonne,
DeleteMy human has told me you have plenty of common sense. We both appreciate your thoughtful poetic postings. Straight from the heart.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Mmmmmmmmm this looks like a Blogfest Detox Blogfest to me
ReplyDeleteHi human Rob,
DeleteIndeed and at the bottom of the posting, you will see the Slinky linky thinga' ma jiggy :) Arf! Arf!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hi Y'all!
ReplyDeleteOh, Penny, you are too, too funny...Bloggers Information Hotline...call back in a years time!!! My Human says only the government functions with such "efficiency"...she pictures rows of empty desks with phones ringing literally "off their hooks"...BOL!
Oh, it is a government agency you say...that explains it!
Y'all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog
Howdy dog buddy Hawk,
DeleteYour human would be correct. The phones seem to be off their hooks on a permanent basis for the British government phone lines. Arf! Arf!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Is there a button to press if you feel guilty about never joining a blogfest.
ReplyDeleteHi human Arleen,
DeleteNo number for that. However, if you can actually get through, this might help you as you discuss your feelings of guilt, "For the latest blogfests information, press one. For the latest blog hops information, press two."
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
That was great Penny!!! lolol I am glad that I'm not alone with my dislike of Blogfests & hops. I just can't keep up like that and it's too much work adding links and so forth.
ReplyDeleteHi human JoJo,
DeleteYou are indeed, not alone. My human and I both prefer to do our own stuff and the links can be a technical nightmare.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
LOL yes there are millions that certainly need the detox. the cat does about three a year besides the a to z. But when you post every day that is what? 29/365. I think we have a good average over here. But the cat never plays by the rules. Now those awards, they end up in the litter box lol
ReplyDeleteHi human Pat,
DeleteOh, so the cat takes the blame. You mentioned the dreaded alphabark, sorry, alphabet challenge! When you post everyday that is because you want to feel the bloggy lurve, pawhaps. Rules are for fools. Never thought I'd say this, but the cat has just gone up a notch on the scratching pole. Shall be forwarding the cat, the "Dirty Litter Box Award". BOL!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I was chuckling by the time I read this: "For the latest information on how to be a blatant blogging self-promoter, press four or three." That turned into belly laughing when I reached this: "To find out more about "IWSG" or 'I Was Seeking Gary', press nine." Hahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteSeriously love this post. Some people participate in blog hops for very good reasons. Others... not so much. I think you have hit the nail on the head:)
Hi human Robin,
DeleteI'm am delighted that I could provide you with a chuckle. It's all good here :)
I did try to provide a fair balance. I note that a few who allege to be involved or create blog hops, do not actually show the sharing, caring side they profess to have. I find that sad. Those who participate for very good reasons, I give them kudos.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I think I have the cynical and sarcastic blogger attitude already perfected, thanks.
ReplyDelete.......dhole
Hi human Donna,
DeleteYou cynical? You mean you know the real reason why they put the milk at the back of the supermarket? I find it hard to believe you could ever be sarcastic, ever! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Why yes, I do know the reason the milk is at the back of the supermarket Penny! I used to run a very small grocery store in the middle of nowhere :)
Delete......dhole
Greetings human Donna,
DeleteThen you will also know why the candy bars are placed at the check-out :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Dear Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, you are marvelous. I called. After pressing 9 several times, fabulous music, BTW, I finally got through. They have a room waiting for me. I forgot to ask if I should bring my own tea biscuits for afternoon tea. You don't suppose they would neglect to feed me, eh?
ReplyDeleteHi human Joylene,
DeleteNothing like listening to 'Bloggy Wonderland' while seeking my alleged human, Gary. They are going to supply you with very special biscuits and the finest of tea. You would then be asked to listen to the sounds of whales as you drift off and think of that weird looking dude's photo on your mug of the finest tea.
Pawsitive wishes eh,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I know how to find Gary, but I think I might need #8. Not for you of course, Penny!
ReplyDeleteHi human Diane,
DeleteYes, my human's mug has been all over blogland lately. How weirdly ironic. Pressing number 8 would be a good idea whenever Gary attempts his humour, which aint remotely funny!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Bwwwwaaah!! This was right up my alley! I HATE BlogHops!!! (yes, I do occasionally participate, but I don't like them) I hate stupid group blogging events too!
ReplyDeleteHi human Caren,
DeleteShould we have an "I Hate Blog Hops Blogfest"? BOL!
Hi Cody! *waves paw* :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
"how to be a blatant blogging self-promoter" - Hello Penny, lovely to see you again, I beleive I am the 'anti-Gary' when it comes to blogging hahaha, whilst he enjoys his well earned popularity, I hide mine under a bushel that needs a treasure map in code to find it. I do agree however with your advice, he should show more of his originality through his writing, basically from a selfish perspective of wanting to read that which he produces. I also think he should share more of the limelight with you Penny, have him take some more glamour shots of you for us, your fans if possible. Take care, Lardy wags her tail furiously at you :D x
ReplyDeleteHi human Michelle,
DeleteI'm not exactly a fan of Gary, either. I will say that he doesn't deserve any popularity. He is actually very shy and despite those who would seek him, he'd rather hide.
Your blog, me thinks, is a well-kept secret. Only a special few know of your whereabouts. My human and I both think that one should display their own unique writing talents. To get caught up in some clique can dull, rather than inspire originality. We like to be rebels.
There have been a number of postings where I have shown off my adorable self. I have now slapped some of those photos back on 'Farcebark'! My best to Lardy. Where are you, Lardy?
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hi Penny,
ReplyDeleteHow kind of you to help out Gary. He sure got tired from all the people praising and wishing him well. I'm so glad we have this hotline to turn to when needed. You do need an option for those of us who need alphabet detox, because I can tell you, I don't think my obsession with the alphabet will ever end...
Your devoted fan,
Tina @ Life is Good
Hi human Tina,
DeleteThank you and I'm a very kind, caring, sharing kind of dog :) My human, so shy and unassuming, was overwhelmed with such noteworthy adulation. I know he's grateful to you and all those who participated.
If that alphabet challenge occurs next April, we are both going to take the month off from blogging. Actually, what with all those silly reflection posts about reflection posts about the alphabet, might as well take two months off. How about partial alphabet detox help line? Get you groupies down to using the Hawaiian alphabet. Only 12 letters instead of 26.
Be well, my human friend.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hi Penny! What a useful hotline. I liked the part about comedy bloggers. Urrgh, I hate "stand-up".
ReplyDeleteFor a while there I was really trying to leave comments on any blog I visited - but then I decided that the blogs that are 100% about Jesus Christ I could probably just check out and leave immediately without trying to find anything remotely useful to anyone that I could possibly say. So I guess I am slowly learning to be a bit more picky about what blogs I spend time on. ;)
Goodbye Penny, thanks for letting me vent into your furry ear!
Hi human Trisha,
DeleteAlleged comedy bloggers, me thinks. Sit down, comedian, sit down!
Ah yes, those who only refer to Jesus Christ are something my human and I struggle with. Each to his own, but I cannot think of anything that would relate to religion. 'Pawlitics', yes! Religion, no!
Always good to read one of my 'pawstings' :) As for my human, Gary's attempts at writing, I'd give them a miss.
Vent away, my human friend! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
You should charge for your services, Penny. You could make enough to retire to somewhere fancy-schmancy!
ReplyDeleteHi Debra,
DeleteI do work for doggy treats! :) I'm going to be guest speaking at the Shaw Convention Centre in downtown Edmonton. Upon retirement, I shall, with the sales from my souvenir doggy treats, reside in fashionable Strathcona.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
That was a really helpful blog post. We had spaghetti for dinner last night. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh Gar---er-- Penny, you really do make me smile. Got to love your fascination for hops, fests and all things bloggy.
Hi Julie,
DeleteYour comment has been duly noted. My human used to have a 1968 AMC Javelin.
I'm glad I can make you smile. I have a fascination in detoxing humans who are in to such things and genuinely want help getting better! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Dear Penny,
ReplyDeleteI have several questions and I shall type them slowly - I understand dogs are not fast readers.
When you break wind, does Gary call you a Farthing?
And what *is* the difference between a Blog hop and a blog Fest?
Should I be more exercised at one, and happier at the other?
Can Gary come out to play?
Thank you.
Greetings alleged human Mark,
DeleteI shall paw back my response very, very slowly. Typing with paws is like you typing with mittens on.
When I break wind he doesn't refer to me as a quarter of a Penny. When I fart, I startle myself and run out of the room.
Blog hop and blog fest. It's 'pawdantic', me old mucker. Same difference, evidently.
As long as you get more followers, either should be just fine! :)
Gary is sulking in his room. He might come out to play in a couple of days time.
You're welcome.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
And, of course your next door neighbor is from Dublin!!
DeleteThat is hilarious and explains much :)
Cheers :)
Human Mazza,
DeleteMy human "neighbour" is indeed from Dublin. An Irish Settler who wants an Irish Setter.
Niall is a good laugh. When my human and myself can comprehend what the heck he's saying :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hahaha mmm... I've recently gone on a blog hop detox, although I do have a small one of my own that's really *really* about helping people with reaching their writing goals. Most of them followed me already by the time they joined.
ReplyDeleteGuess that makes me an exception. ;-)
Hi human Misha,
DeleteYour blog hop detox should hopefully be a cleansing experience. You do your best at encouraging those who want to reach their writing goals. That's admirable. My human and I work discreetly in the background.
This means you are not the only exception. The difference is that we are less obvious in our help :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Dear Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, I need your help!
ReplyDeleteWAIT. I just read that somewhere. It's not original with me. Oh dear. Now what?
Where's the phone? I need a hotline. Someone stop me before I sign up for that next blogfest. Ooops! Too late.
Hi human cleemckenziebooks,
DeleteYou have a very weird name there, human.
Help is at paws.
You might have read the help bit as you skimmed through my pawsting.
You do need serious help. I shall have to send you my "Blogfest Detox" step-by-step, or paws-by-paws guide to getting you away from the dreaded linky. This is not a blog hop!
Great comment! Thanks for sharing!
cleemckenziebooks
cleemckenziebooks,
DeleteLooks like your weird name got cloned :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I read in a psychology book that clones have serial side effects. Is that true, Penny?
DeleteHi cleemckenziebooks,
DeleteStill trying to work out if your name has some mysterious meaning. What you read is correct. For instance, clones that attempt to write novels have found Alligators Overhead and saw them Sliding on the Edge of an overhead cable.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Dear Penny,
ReplyDeleteI am in serious need of blog hop detox. I am a blog-hop-a-holic. But with so many choices of numbers to press, I'm not sure which one I should try. Please help!
Hi human Sherry,
DeleteYou might try hopping from one number to another. Eventually, you will get through to a trained counsellor who can help you. It might take over a year, but that's a year of not blog hippety hoppeting....
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Penny, this is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteLuckily I don't need to detox myself because my ego is away. It went out on a trip to Mars and I can't find it anywhere.
My ego-less existence is somewhat strange, but I can still fly and hover through the forests of life. It is different, though.
Send a big hug to your master, Gary, another internet superstar who always makes me smile.
Hi human Julia,
DeleteI thank you! :)
Please let me know when your ego returns from Mars. My human's ego went for a trip to Uranus.
Happy ego-less flying over the forests of life. Enjoy that rather different hovering experience.
I shall gladly hug the human I so kindly allow to live with me:) Your words are flattering, my human friend.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Go on just read that extra little post
ReplyDeleteYou know you want to
It won't hurt
Just one more litte story
Go on
......
Alleged human, John Gray,
DeleteThanks for bringing attention to your site.
You know you want that.
Me thinks you need another dog to bring you some pawsitivity.
Great comment! Thanks for sharing!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Thanks Gary and Penny - a blogfest detox is a great idea - although there haven't been as many this summer as were in the winter and spring. I think A to Z is at fault! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks again you two for the lovely comments regarding my flirting post - I didn't recognize what was happening until it was too late, and if I'd been any good at it I'd have sold that book. I do feel for his poor wife though, she knew what was up! My hubby and signing partner that day thought it was oh so amusing! :)
Live and learn!
Hi human Yolanda,
DeleteA blogfest detox can bring back some level of not feeling pressured. Maybe that silly alphabet challenge, in an ironic way, may have helped reduce the number of those darned blog hops!
I was delighted to leave a comment over at that ninja dude's, or whatever they call him, site. Glad, despite the somewhat amusing situation, all is going to be just fine.
You humans! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Love it! I do enjoy a few blogfests, but I've learned to do so in moderation :)
ReplyDeleteHi human Jemi,
DeleteModeration is the key. Or the real key would be to have a "JemiFest" and just sit back and enjoy all your adoring fans praise you :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Hello, Penny! Nice to meet a real internet sensation :) I hardly ever join fests or hops. I need to have enough time for my feline fur babies. They can't type and use the internet, like you. But they're wily. If they feel neglected, they sneak up on me (literally) in the middle of the night, and tap me on the face until I get up and get them fresh water. From the bathtub faucet!
ReplyDeleteI like your detox menu, btw. IWSG-I was seeking Gary. Well done!
Hi The Words Crafter,
DeleteGlad you managed to get away from your feline fur babies and realise that yes, I'm the dog that the entire internet is feverishly talking about :) My typing can be rather difficult. I paws and then start again.
They tap you on the face and the you go to the tap in the bathtub. My human lets me get my own bowl of cold water from the fridge.
That menu can have some withdrawal symptoms. Next time you contemplate joining one of those blog hippety hoppety things, just remember your adorable feline fur babies need water! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
What number do you press if you want to learn more about Julie's spaghetti dinner?! This was the perfect follow-up to Gary Fest! It proves once again that no one can outshine Gary, though Penny comes pawfully close.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Hi human Julie,
DeleteYou press the letters that spell out "spaghetti" and add a couple of "0's"
I thought I should take over from my human and make mockery of that ironic attempt at having a non-festival, festival in my human's honour! :) I shall paws and thank you.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
You are always so wise Penny. And you handle you fans with such grace! I am on a bloghop detox myself and so far it's going fairly well. I know I won't be able to resist the alphabet though. :D
ReplyDeleteHi human Julie Flanders,
DeleteThank you, my human friend. I'm here to help all my adoring fans :) Hope or hop, you don't have bad withdrawal symptoms. Make use of the Hawaiian alphabet next year. Only 12 letters! :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I have actually never taken part in a bloghop. Sounds like something that requires stamina and is woefully bereft of margaritas.
ReplyDeletePearl
Aha, it's Pearl,
DeleteYou would never take part in a blog hop. Not even the one that they are setting up in your honour or (honor)?
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Yes, my original submission for Write, Edit, Publish was, errrrmmm, not even there at all. I have now rectified this matter and there is a bit of writing on that post you commented on. haha. I hate post scheduling, I've now decided. :)
ReplyDeleteHuman Trisha,
DeleteYes, you confused this paw dog. However, I did think, great, a short pawsting, um posting. This might be a bit of a hint to return and delight you with another one of my highly collectable comments :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I'm trying to cut down o blogging, but you wouldn't know it. I've joined another blogfest in the first week of September!
ReplyDeleteHi human Damyanti,
DeleteYou have the addiction. If the first thing you think of when you wake up, is blogfests, you have a problem. If you dream of blogfests, we can help detox you. If every conversation you have always gets onto to the topic of blogfests, you need to stop, take a deep breath and then yell,"Argggghhhhh!" :)
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I always get told to dial *666. Is it saying I'm evil for participatin in your bloghop???
ReplyDeleteYour welcome in advance garbare!!!
Alleged human, Tammy,
DeleteI think you have the joy of 6 and 6 and 6 on your human-type mind. You are evil for participating in any blog hippety hoppety! :)
What is this "garbare"?
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Never do anything where there are rules, regulations and "someone in charge".
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
Greetings human, lotta joy,
DeleteThen you will relate to this posting. Thank you and you're very welcome.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Dear Penny.
ReplyDeleteI am suffering with OCBHD, Obsessive Compulsive Bloghopping Disorder. I need help desperately...
Can you recommend any purging... oops, I mean pawging rituals?
Writer In Transit
Dear human, Michelle,
DeleteFirst of all, thanks for explaining what that anagram meant.
In order to have the best results from a pawging attempt, you must try the following. Stay away from anything that can remind you of Blog Hopping, such as rabbits, kangaroos, toads, a Slinky and IHOP aka International House of Pancakes.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Thank goodness I don't need this right now Penny. I needed it in May after that April mania. Hopefully my comments are not vague or sarcastic but you're a dog and you know that we have a special connection. Say hi to your person.
ReplyDeleteHi human, Eve,
DeleteOops, you are going to give me alphabet nightmares. Actually, after April and the reflection posts about the reflection posts.....By the time you get through all of that, hey, it's April 2014!
We would appreciate vague and sarcastic comments. A special connection, indeed :) Gary is frantically searching for a cloning machine. When I seem him, I'll say hi on your behalf.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Penny,
ReplyDeleteYou are one funny dog! I have a husky and I don't think he's nearly as cool as you, though he is pretty cute :).
I signed up for two more hops...or are they fests? What's the difference again? After that I'll probably have to call the hotline where I'll promptly press 6.
Thanks for your help!
Sam
Hi human, Samantha,
DeleteThanks and I reckon that a husky is well cool. Especially in Alaska :)
Hops or Fests. I shall consider it just a 'pawdantic' thing. Cynicism is the way forward, me thinks :)
You are most welcome for any help, my human friend.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Penny, how much does Gary pay you for helping him out in such an efficient and eloquent manner? I don't think enough. I was and still am seeking Gary, but can't find him. No idea where he hid.
ReplyDeleteBesides the hot line, do you give training seminars? I have several dwarves who could use one. See if they are half as efficient as you are. They are not as cute, certainly, but nothing can be done about that. Keep the good work, Penny! Little dragon hug for you.
Greetings dragon type Al,
DeletePay? Now why didn't I think of that! He is off looking for that cloning machine. We are also in a holding pattern because my human is going to be somewhere else as a guest.
Your dwarves can sign up for my, "How to Pawblish Worst Sellers", training programme. Thanks for the little dragon hug. On a um scale of one to ten, your hugs are worth eleven!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Too funny~ I loved Penny's advice. Too bad there won't be any counselors available for one year. What will the addicted do? Keep doing what they are doing I expect! :)
ReplyDeletePenny- please tell Gary his cover photo is awesome!
~Jess
Hi human, Jess,
DeleteThe counsellors are there. Due to overwhelming demand, it's taking about a year to get through to one of them. The addicted can reread my articles on trying to get over the addiction. Or yes, probably they are so addicted they just can't help themselves.
My human will be pleased. The current photo is Tresaith Beach, in Wales.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Penny, make sure you give Gary advice that it's okay to be viewed as normal. For those who are overwhelmed with blogfests, just know it's okay to want that connection with like-minded folks, that is, to want people to listen to what you've got to say and respond with heart-felt considerations.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your "Gary-like" response to my Journal Past Blast. I think you are the clone he's looking for, because I thought it was him and called you "human" in my response to your comment. My apologies. Next time I'll be sure to leave you a doggie treat. Would you prefer chicken or caviar? Or maybe you're a vegetarian? Writer’s Mark
Hi human, Nancy,
DeleteGary and I actually, through the tongue-in-cheek irony, have promoted those who wish to participate in blogfests. Of course, you wouldn't know that through our satire, we have been there for others. During the A to Z, my human and I, provided light-hearted relief to those who were getting stressed out, or just wanted to see another angle. So from a different ethos, we are actually here for others.
Thank you and we still need a clone. I can only do so much for my silly human. No worries about confusing me, the real superstar of this site, with my human. I'm not fussy what sort of doggy treat you kindly offer me. I appreciate the gesture. Enjoy your weekend, Nancy.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
Lovely Penny, my longtime friend the Pekinese Kukly has left me a few days ago and I am so heartbroken...what do you think? is there such thing as doggy heaven?
ReplyDeleteDear Petronela,
DeleteI understand how heartbroken you must be, my dear human friend. When we beloved animals leave you, you will note that we are there in doggy heaven, continuing to give you our unconditional, non-judgemental love.
I'm so sorry. I send you doggy hugs.
In kindness,
Penny the Jack Russell dog (( ))
Hi Penny - I knew there was a reason to be travelling .. staying well clear of blog-fests, or hops, or hoppas .... or!!
ReplyDeleteYea I've caught Gary's disease .. "apologitis" .. for having gone AWOL .. but I'm around now for a while ..
Hope this weather is suiting you for lovely walks .. cheers Hilary
Hi human, Hilary,
DeleteTravelling is good. As long as you don't hop on transport. Might remind you of something :)
I appreciate you finding the time to backtrack to this pawst. I do know how hectic it can be. Sometimes, I have "apawlogitus".
Nice to see you, Hilary.
The weather is nice and I'm taking Gary out for a walk.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I called the detox line, but the dude is talking in Italian or Indian or Jack Rustolian. I'm not quite sure.
ReplyDeletebtw, you are adorable, Penny. WOOOf.
Hello human, myinnerchick.com,
DeleteYou did well to get through to the detox line. You might have been talking to a French poodle. Sometimes, you cannot make out the difference in our tonal barking type inflections.
Why thank you for noticing I'm adorable :) Adorable but oh so unassuming.
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!