Friday 31 August 2012

Dear Mother.

Dear Mother,

We are so far apart and yet we are so close together. You live in White Rock, British Columbia, Canada.  I live in Leek, Staffordshire, England.   Eight time zones apart and a distance of about 4600 miles.
Almost every Saturday we chat on the phone.  And your calls, your love, your support and encouragement, have seen me through the toughest times of my life.
Oh how I miss you.  And today, August 31, 2012, this very special day, I dedicate this posting to you, my beloved mother.
My mother does volunteer work.  Every few months she goes into Vancouver on the bus and the rapid transit system to look after and serve meals to "the old folks".  Dear mother, have a peaceful, positive eightieth birthday.  I love you.

Gary xx

67 comments:

  1. This is so beautiful, Gary. Made me tear up. Your mother obviously did a wonderful job helping you to become the man you are today. Kudo to her for all she is and all she does.

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    1. I forgot to mention she shares a birthday with a very important little man of mine. Our grandson Blake is one years old.

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    2. Hi Joylene,
      Thank you. My mother was an obvious influence on making me a guy who truly tries to be there for others. Kudos to her, for sure.
      Happy belated birthday to Blake! :) How neat this is.
      Have a lovely weekend.
      Gary

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  2. Oh honey. How did this physical distance came to be? I have done a lot of digging into my history to see where my clinical depression had its start. I didn't have far to dig.

    Have you ever discovered a history or life change to account for yours?

    For once, it appears not to be a Mother and for that, I am so happy. (why it affected me thusly, I have no idea)

    CONGRATULATIONS mom and son!!!!

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    1. Hi lotta joy,
      It's a long, complicated story that I have alluded to in past postings. Basically it's about an ex Belgian wife who wanted to distance herself from some painful memories in Canada. And thus, an ex wife and and English son who lives with me, is the basic end result.
      If I could pinpoint where my clinical depression may have come to the surface, I would say it was when I started getting severely bullied at work, had a nervous breakdown, starting drinking heavily to the point of death and discovered that my still wife during all of this was pregnant and I wasn't the father. An overwhelming negative environment (nurture) can have a devastating impact on our mental health well being.
      Indeed, my mother has kept me going during the most challenging and sometimes very isolated time of my life.
      Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.
      May you have a peaceful weekend.
      Gary

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  3. Happy birthday to your mother. She sounds like a special person.

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    1. Hi Lost in Space,
      Thank you kindly for the birthday wishes for my mother. She is indeed a special person.
      I hope you have a positive weekend.
      Gary

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  4. Hello Gary:
    It is often difficult to deal with the physical separation from loved ones. Obviously, your mother is a very special person in your life and we are sure that she will be delighted with this loving tribute. Many happy returns to her!

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    1. Hi Jane and Lance,
      Indeed, it has been been, at times, a very frightening prospect for me. There was a time I was completely alone in England and my mother's calls were a lifeline.
      She has read this tribute and is most modest about it all. Oh yeah, she's one heck of a cook! Thank you for your birthday wishes to my mother.
      May you both have a lovely weekend.
      Gary

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  5. Happy birthday to her! Sounds like she's still pretty fit.

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    1. Hi PT,
      Thank you, kind fellow. I know she goes to the gym on a regular basis and I doubt I could keep up with her.
      Have a good weekend.
      Gary

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  6. And....now I'm crying. She is a lucky mom to have such a wonderful son.

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    1. Hi Delores,
      And I'm a lucky guy to be blessed with such a wonderful mother.
      Thank you and I hope your weekend is calm during these times of concern you are having.
      In kindness, Gary

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  7. Happy birthday to your mother! That's an awesome message for her.

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    1. Hi Alex,
      Thank you for the birthday wishes for my mother. My message, but short, yet so heartfelt.
      Have an excellent weekend, my friend.
      Gary

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  8. How beautiful. She must be one very special woman to have such an awesome son as you, Gary. Happy 80th Birthday, Gary's Mom, and wishing you many, many more!!

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    1. Hi Kim,
      Thank you for such a kind and caring comment. She may just be a very special and patient woman to put up with me! :) Seriously, you are most delightful and my mother appreciates your warm birthday message.
      Here's wishing you a wonderful weekend.
      Gary

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  9. How blessed you are to have your Mom, being able to talk with her. And how blessed she is to have you as her son!

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    1. Hi Susan,
      Thank you and I feel most blessed to have those moments of caring conversation with my mother. I think she is proud of how well I've done under some very daunting situations. We are both blessed.
      I hope you and your loved ones have a most peaceful weekend.
      Gary

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  10. Replies
    1. Hi Old Kitty,
      She is beautiful in so many ways. Thank you.
      May you and the lovable Charley has a most pleasant weekend.
      Gary
      x

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  11. I have missed out on several important birthdays in my travels in the past couple of years, and I know how tough it can be (for instance, my dad's birthday was last week and here I am in the U.S.). It is absolutely wonderful that you two are so close and have such a great relationship. Happy birthday, Gary's Mom!

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    1. Hi Chris,
      You have my utmost understanding. During poignant moments in our lives and to be away from those who mean so much, can make for a somewhat sad and reflective time.
      Thank goodness, that I have a vital lifeline to my mother, to my other world, to my other home.
      Happy belated birthday to your dad. And thank you for the birthday wishes to my mother.
      May your weekend be peaceful and positive.
      Gary

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  12. Beautiful post, I'm glad you talk so much to each other despite being so far away. Birthday wishes from Manchester to your lovely mum x

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    1. Hi All Consuming,
      Thank you. And thank heavens for telephones! :) Thank you so much for those birthday wishes for my lovely mum.
      May you and your loved ones have a peaceful weekend in Manchester.
      Gary
      x

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  13. Replies
    1. Hi The Golden Eagle,
      Thank you for the happy birthday wishes to my mother :)
      Here's hoping you have a very enjoyable weekend.
      Gary

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  14. Bravo to your Mom on her 80th, and bravo to you for the loving celebration!

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    1. Hi Susan Scheid,
      Thank you and bravo to this loving celebration. Your birthday wishes for my mother are warmly appreciated.
      Here's to you having a beautiful weekend.
      Gary

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  15. What a lovely, lovely post. Thank you so much for honouring your mother in this way, and a happy birthday to her from me too. Like mother, like son reaching out to other people. Have a wonderful weekend. Sending so many good wishes to you both.

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    1. Hi The Elephant's Child,
      Very kind of you, my dear friend. Your birthday wishes for my mother are gratefully received.
      My mother taught me valuable lessons on us all being here for each other.
      Thank you so much for your very nice comment.
      May you have a most peaceful and happy weekend.
      In kindness, Gary

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  16. Your open letter and dedication is very sweet. Indeed, happy birthday to your Mom. Good wishes sent your way.

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    1. Hi Dixie,
      Thank you for such a sweet comment. And thank you so much for the happy birthday wishes to my mother.
      I thank you for the good wishes and I do so hope you have a most peaceful, positive weekend.
      In kindness, Gary

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  17. Dear Gary,
    Firstly, apologies for not commenting on your last posting, although I have read it, you sarcastic dude bogger you. Anyway, it's nice to see your Mum still going strong at 80. I'm sure she will be thrilled with your warm, loving wishes. My own Mum is perhaps of similar type - a selfless and caring woman, who is now 77 years old, but manages to stay active and healthy. So, here's to Mums, eh Gare. Where would we be without them?
    Very Best Wishes to you, and a Very Happy Birthday to your Mum,
    David.

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    1. Dear David,
      No need to apologise. I actually figured it might sort of get under the 'radar', so to speak. I mean, would I want to upset anybody? Anyway, I know you know what the underlying message, yet again, was within that posting.
      My mother is an inspiration to me to actually get off my butt. And your beloved mother is obviously an inspirational mother who stays active and is healthy. Thank goodness for our mothers keeping us realising that all can be okay.
      Thanks for the happy birthday wishes to my mother and your very best wishes to shy, humble and oh so unassuming me.
      Talk soon and enjoy your weekend. You intellectual dude, you.
      Gary

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  18. You may be miles apart Gary, but miles cannot break that special bond you have with your Mum. She looks great for 80, if I look half as good at that age I will be happy, that's if I get there!
    Eight time zones, but the distance is negligible where family bonds are concerned.
    Your friend,
    J
    Follow me at HEDGELAND TALES

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    1. Hi John,
      Ah yes, very true. The miles and the time zones do not impede the special bond I have with my beloved mother.
      Keeping active, going to the gym and looking after "old folks", seems to have positive results for her.
      All the best to you, my friend.
      May your weekend be blessed with the wonders of the great outdoors.
      Gary

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  19. What a lovely letter to your mum. and happy birthday to her too. I'm planning on doing some volunteer work after I retire from paid employment, I know that if I don't I'll probably never leave the couch! And it will be nice to give back some of the help I myself received when I needed it.

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    1. Hi River,
      Very nice of you to say. Thank you for the happy wishes to my mother.
      Volunteer work can be most rewarding. A great way to get off the couch :) And your desire to reciprocate in your own way, is truly thoughtful.
      May your weekend be most special.
      Gary

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  20. Aw, this is a gorgeous post, Gary. Wishing your lovely mother a very happy birthday.

    xx

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    1. Hi Suzanne,
      Thank you and how lovely to see you. Your happy birthday wishes for my lovely mother are warmly received.
      I hope you have a most enjoyable weekend.
      Gary
      xx

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  21. Hope your lovely mum had a great birthday. Lovely post x

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    1. Hi Teresa,
      Thanks and she had a very pleasant birthday. And being English, off she went for some fish and chips! :)
      Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.
      Gary x

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  22. Lovely. You're a good and loving son, and no mother can ask for more than that.

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    1. Hi Susan Flett Swiderski,
      Thank you so much. I try to be a good and loving son. And my mother has inspired me.
      I wish for you and your loved ones to have a most peaceful weekend.
      Gary

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  23. Gary wishing your special Mom the happiest birthday ever! May she be given back all of the kindness that she unselfishly gives to others.

    She already receive a most special gift...this incredible blog post by YOU!

    BTW she is 80? Damn she looks GOOD!

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    1. Hi Caren,
      Your birthday wishes for my special mother are truly cherished.
      My mother is a gift and my gift to her was this loving blog.
      You are most kind, Caren.
      And yep, she is 80. If only her son could look that good! :)
      Have a great weekend and say hi to Cody for me.
      Gary

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  24. Aw, sweet. Happy Birthday to Gary's dear Mum, and many more.
    Laura
    x

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    1. Hi Laura,
      Very sweet of you to forward happy birthday wishes to my dear mother. Thanking you.
      Sure hope you have a very nice weekend.
      Gary
      x

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  25. Happy Birthday to your mom! This is a sweet post. It wasn't until recently that I realized how important my mother is in my life, alot of childhood memories kept me from acknowledging that. ( feeling emotional right now ) anyway, after losing my dad close to a year ago who like me suffered fron depression and alcholism but never got treatment, that's when through a lot of grieving and self searching did I realize how important my mom is in my life and how much I love her despite the pass. Thank you for sharing such a lovely post about your mother. :)

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    1. Hi Madison,
      Thank you very much for those birthday wishes for my mother. You have experienced such trauma and the sensation of feeling helpless for your father must have been most daunting.
      His depression and alcoholism echoes some of my painful past. Luckily, the last remnants of what I had been, reached out, got help and now I try to inspire.
      Dear lady, through your own reflective and self-searching, you have seen the profound and loving importance on your beloved mother. I struggle to show my emotions due to a confused childhood and the devaluing of my humanity in my adult years, when I became ill and vulnerable.
      With the power of your shared emotion, you continue to move onto a better reality. And so do I.
      Warm wishes and understanding your way, Gary.

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  26. Hi Gary. I have found that is possible to be very close to someone who lives far away (Vancouver!), even though you can't see much of them.
    It's great that your Mum can be such an inspiration from such a long distance! Congratulations to her.
    Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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    1. Hi bazza,
      Indeed, my friend, we both have quite the Vancouver connection. And those times we are there are quality moments, forever ingrained in our hearts.
      Thanks for that and my mother inspires from afar. A source of great comfort through the toughest of times.
      Enjoy your Sunday.
      Gary

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  27. Happy Belated Birthday to your mom! She sounds like such a wonderful person who goes out of her way to help others! Like mother, like son! You truly are lucky to have each other! Julie

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    1. Hi Julie,
      Thank you for the happy birthday wishes for my mother :) She has had quite the influence on me. She is always putting others first. My tribute is to her and all the loving mothers who make such a positive impact on our lives.
      I greatly appreciate your kind words.
      With peaceful wishes, your way, Gary

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  28. Hi, I don't know you as such, but feel as though I can relate to you in lots you have written in you blogg. I had to come a long way down the replies so it seems you must relate to others. Hi there by the way.

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    1. Hi Justine,
      Very kind of you to comment. I do try to interact and hopefully be there for others. And during these tough economical times that have impacted so many, I want you know that I'm wishing you all the best. I have commented on your blog before and we once communicated via email.
      Hi again, my friend :)
      Gary

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  29. A lovely tribute to your mum, I hope she had a lovely day :)

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    1. Hi Jaye,
      Thank you very much. Oh yes, she had a lovely day, complete with fish and chips :)
      Take care,
      Gary

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  30. Such a sweet post...she's lucky to have such a son

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    1. Hi G,
      That's very kind of you. And I'm lucky to have such a sweet mother.
      All the best to you, my friend.
      Gary

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  31. Gary, happy belated birthday to your mother. She clearly did a wonderful job with raising you because you're kind, creative, supportive, and a true friend. In fact, from what you just said about her volunteering and helping others, it seems to me that you're just like her. I bet she's proud of you.

    Jai

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  32. Hi Jai,
    Your happy birthday wishes for my mother are greatly appreciated. Thank you. What you note is most flattering. I like to think that all that she did for me and all that she continues to do for others, has been profound inspiration in my life. I know she's very proud of how well I've done through the most challenging times in my life.
    All the very best to you, dear lady.
    Gary

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  33. You are twice fortunate, my friend. One, to still have a living mother. Two, one that your mother is a emphatic listener and that truly cares for people and you (you're people, too) :)... and shows it with actions (volunteer work) and words. That's great that, even though, you're miles away from each other- you still talk to her on the phone.

    I'm sure she is proud of your own volunteer work and what you've accomplished, too. Tell her Happy Birthday from me. Take care.

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    1. Hi Kelly,
      I feel blessed to have a mother who is there for me. It maybe at the other end of a telephone line, but she is a vital catalyst in my keeping it together.
      We are very proud of each other. And the volunteer work with folks who genuinely care, has been most rewarding for the both of us. I shall indeed pass on your happy birthday wishes to my mother.
      Thanks buddy.
      Gary

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  34. Hi Gary .. I'm so sorry I didn't get to read this earlier - and will to come back to read through your replies .. etc ..

    What a lovely tribute and birthday wish to your mother - may she have many more and may you and Tristan have a chance to get over to see her sometime soon ... definitely soon ... with thoughts - Hilary

    http://positiveletters.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Hi Hilary,

      Thank you so much for your kind words and commenting on this archived posting.

      I do so hope that my son can meet up with his Grandmother, very soon. Also, you may note that your comment didn't show up and thus I copied and pasted your email.

      You are most kind, Hilary.

      Peaceful, reflective wishes, your way, Gary

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I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.