No matter how down I become, I know that having a bit of a laugh, is a powerful tonic. In times past, during a deep depressive state, I lost the ability to find the funny side to life. In times of such despair it was like pirates had hijacked the 'good ship Lollipop'. Now that is an outrage and I knew I must reclaim my own personal ship.
Back in the dark days, I would click my heels three times, think of Kansas and end up in some sewage treatment plant. (Even my metaphorical red shoes had no sense of direction..hell I'd been better off flying by the 'seat of my pants'). Depression took away my sense of direction. Where was I going? Matter of fact, I didn't even care where I ended up, because I was not of any validity to the world.
For many years I was a very confused, very scared man. I was so ill that I did not even think myself worthy of any help. I 'deserved' to be mentally ill, it was punishment for having the audacity to breathe and take up valuable space on this planet. It was strongly ingrained in my distorted thinking process. I had allowed a negative environment to almost destroy me.
On the verge of becoming completely engulfed with negativity, I reached out for my last tiny thread of sanity, desperately clung on, and embraced the saviour that was humour. Hell, if I was going to be depressed, I was going to find some irony in it. I became determined to try and enjoy life. I like to think that humour is infectious. For is it not better to bring joy to others and be grateful for what we have?
'Under the moon, over the weather'. Yeah, I know, I mixed up a couple of well known sayings. Well the title kinda' sums up how my life has changed for the better. Did I ever tell you I used to be a 'model'?..now I'm 'life-sized'. So the lady told me she was a complimentary therapist. So I said: "Really? Well then, pay me a compliment"....I leave you with this thought. The pirates have been thrown off my own personal 'good ship Lollipop'. I bloody well made sure that they had to go overboard via the 'poop deck'. Oooh arrrrr....
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteThere is no sarchasm here!
Been there, recognise the feeling, got the scars to show it.
Fantastic bit of writing, heart and soul.
And humour, your homour has thrown me a life line, you didn't sneeze it, but I know a lot who have caught it from you.
Keep on bringing us joy.
Philip
Once got thrown of the QE2 for taking the poop deck literal.
ReplyDeleteOops!
Dear Gary,
ReplyDeleteIt has been an age since I commented on your blog and for that I am sorry.
I can certainly say though that you do have a great sense of humour. This pours out of your blogs as well as when I have met you in person. Indeed, your well documented bravado seems to hide all of the inner turmoil you have had in your life. But it is obvious that this inner turmoil, your illness, is a very real thing, so all the more kudos to you for having the strength to overcome it.
Yours With All The Best,
David.
I hate Sundays because I get lonely; no one around to scoop the poop with. Lately I'm thinking to go to one of those all day church spots; better to be bored than lonely. abc
ReplyDelete