Hello Sunshine, My Old Friend.

Oh, I've known those times.  When sunny days seemed dull and dreary.  When any hint of glistening light was hidden away.  Hidden away, as I lay in fear under the darkness of my duvet.
 
Sunshine was for others.  This man, this sad and lonely man, did not deserve the sunlight, the reassuring warmth.  The ravages of a tormented mind, dismissed the sunshine, dismissed his own validity.  And the madness of  this man with a broken heart, a broken soul, nearly killed me, nearly saw the sun set on his life forever.

I reached out.  The last fragments of a shattered dignity called my name.  Slowly, with racing heart and gasping for air, I pulled back the covers to see a wondrous sight.  Through the tiny gap between my curtains came forth a streaming shaft of sunshine, glorious sunshine.  At that moment, that frozen moment in time, the tears trickled down my face and I began to live once more.

With the support of you, my journey along the highway, destination hope, grows ever strong.  I am bathed in sunshine where once there was darkness.  I am profoundly grateful.

I have been honoured to have received the "Sunshine Blogger Award" from the lovely and thoughtful Suzanne Bean.  Suzanne resides in the beautiful city of Victoria, British Columbia.  It is, if you didn't know, the capital of that fair Province and is situated on Vancouver Island.  This dear lady is a wonderful writer and an artistic talent to behold.  I would kindly suggest, if you have never had the delight of visiting her site, to check it out via this link : Suzanne Bean   

If you are down or just need some sunshine in your life, please know that my gift to you is this Sunshine Blogger Award and my heartfelt friendship.

Hello sunshine, my old friend.

Down A Very Steep Hill.

Down a very steep hill, about a thirty minute walk from my mum and step-dad's home, is the shoreline of a town named White Rock, British Columbia.  If you've ever been to White Rock, you will know what I mean about that very steep hill.

When I got to to the bottom of that very steep hill, before me was the twilight vision of White Rock pier.

I strolled along the pier and looked at the twinkling lights along the White Rock shoreline.

Here is a view from the end of the pier.  I stood there and thought about the deeply profound and inspirational moments of my trip back home to Canada.

Back to the beginning point of the pier and night had immersed the White Rock sky.  I turned around and realised that now I would have to go back up that very steep hill.

Back to the house and one last sleep.  I looked out my bedroom window and knew that soon, very soon, I would be back in England.  Back to my other life, my other world, a different reality.  

Thank you Hope, thank you Vancouver, thank you White Rock, thank you Canada.  Thank you to my friends and family for making this the most poignant and profound experience of my life.  

I dedicate this posting to my friend and a man I call my brother.   Wayne, the shackles have been broken and you are free to fly.....

Hope Amongst The Mountains.

I would go out for a morning stroll and be awed by the mountains that surround the home of Heather and Wayne.  I marvelled at such majestic wonder.  Indeed, there I was in a town named Hope and hope was there, amongst the mountains.  This a view of Mount Hope that I took front outside their front door.
In case you are not already aware, if you click on the photos, they will enlarge and fill up your computer screen.

And this a view of another mountain that can be seen just outside their front door.  This breathtaking mountain is Mount Ogilvie.

A few minutes away from their house is this picturesque lake with a magnificent mountain backdrop.  This is Kawkawa Lake and the mountain in the background is Mount Ogilvie.  I spent a most reflective hour there, listening to the wind as it gently flowed through the valley.

And as day turned to night, one last look at Mount Hope.

One last glimpse of Mount Ogilvie, as the final moments of another day in Hope, drew to another profound and inspirational conclusion.

I looked out the bedroom window and watched as the moon set behind the mountains to the west.  I sensed hope amongst the mountains and I know that such feelings of hope resonates in the hearts of Heather and Wayne.  May hope and positivity embrace your heart.

'Pen Eh' The Jack Russell Dog And Modest Internet Star.

Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.  Now then, Gary, the human I allow to live with me, came back from a really long trip over to Canada.  He's told me that Canadians say 'eh' a lot, eh.  So the old fart thought it would be real clever if I had my named stated in the Canadian version.  Thus, 'Penny' becomes 'Pen Eh'.  Oh, how clever.  I think not, eh.

Right then, to humour the old dude, I reluctantly posed in front of a 'Canada Eh' t-shirt and a Vancouver Canucks flag.  Apparently, a bunch of folks in British Columbia were sticking flags like the one in the photo, on their vehicles during the Canucks Stanley Cup play-off run.  Whatever the heck that is.  And yes, it gets worse, I went along with it and wore a genuine Canadian toque.  Note my overwhelming enthusiasm.

This is my new doggy pal, Bean.  Bean is a Canadian dog and is a much loved family member of Heather and Wayne's.  Gary has told me that Bean is quite the runner.   Aha, runner Bean...get it?   Arf, forget it, eh.  How you been, Bean?  Bean, what say you and I do a collaboration posting sometime in the near future?

When Gary came back after five long weeks, which seemed like five years to me, I actually recognised him.  I know he was worried that I might bark at him, chase him out of the house or piddle on his shoes.  Much to his delight, I went crazy with excitement, gave him doggy kisses and then piddled on his shoes.  I missed him as much as he missed me.

July 1 is 'Canada Day'.  You can find out a bit of the history of Canada Day, here : Canada Day.   So, on behalf of Gary, I wish all Canadian animals and humans, a peaceful, pawsitive Canada Day, eh.  This is 'Pen Eh', Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, saying, see ya later eh.....

Bear With Me?

I was told to watch out for the wildlife when I was staying at Heather and Wayne's.  'Watch out for raccoons and watch out for bears', I was warned.  Fair enough, so I kept a watchful eye and managed to photograph a few 'scary' creatures in their garden.

I sat outside on their patio, camera at the ready.   Much to my 'horror',  I noticed a couple of 'menacing' looking birds helping themselves to birdseed.  Suddenly I'm thinking about a remake of a certain Alfred Hitchcock film.

Then it got even worse.  I observed that dreaded little creature known as a squirrel.  Well, I think it's a squirrel or a chipmunk.  Anyway, it's evidently some kind of  rodent that can makes the lives of gardeners a sheer misery.  They love to eat bulbs.  And no, not the kind that light up your house.  Apparently, they have a love of tulip bulbs and many a squirrel and chipmunk has been seen booking flights to Holland.  Possibly with the exception of flying squirrels who save themselves a fortune in airfare.

Now then, back in my garden in England, I can have some real worries about wildlife.  Who would dare want to upset a hedgehog?   Even the garden gnome is wary of this 'evil' beast.

And here's another monster that has been seen wandering through my English garden.  Such an animal, with that menacing look, is best kept a safe, safe distance from.

Yes indeed, beast beware!  I very bravely took a chance to get a more up close photo of the crazy critter.  Whoops!  My gosh, it's Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star!  "Hello Penny...ummm.....good dog...."

You may recall that I was told about the possibility of seeing a raccoon or maybe even a bear.  I was awoken by an almighty crash.  "What the f**k?", I thought.  I noted the time.  It was just gone 4:30 A.M. and it was starting to get light out.  I looked out the bedroom window and......

And through the safety of the glass of the front door, I photographed what looks very much like a bear.  Bear with me?   Oh no, I definitely kept a safe, safe distance.  Thank you very much.  

Hope Grows In The Garden.

And what of freedom?  The freedom to soar amongst the trees and find the words to describe our pain, describe our joy.

And what of the mountains?  Do we see them as barriers?   Or do we visualise the view from the top and the panorama that inspires us to seek a happy life?

And through the forest, those trees of confusion in our minds, can we see the clearing ahead?

I gazed over at the snow-capped mountain, thought about my friends, Heather and Wayne.  I sensed we were all on top of that mountain, looking out at a positive, more caring, more compassionate world.

We spent a couple of hours at Minter Gardens.  It was a lovely, sunny day.  I was grateful to be amongst such beauty and grateful to be there with two very close friends.  Minter Gardens is located 115  kilometres east of Vancouver and only about a half an hours westward drive away from Hope, British Columbia.

And Wayne, what of our deeply profound conversations?  I see in your eyes the passion of a man who has so much more to tell.  You have told me a few tales of your life with such articulation and powerful passion.   Now can truly be the time, through the magic and the wonder of the written word, for you to find some comfort for yourself, and in turn, for others.  You, my friend, my brother in the true sense of transparent humanity, have a gift for writing.  Open that gift and share your feelings.  Your mind, your soul, will never be shackled.  

Heather, Wayne, you are both testimony that, despite the adversity that entered your lives, positivity will never let the ugliness of a negative environment destroy your determination, to live your lives the way you want to live.

Hope grows in the garden.  It is nurtured and will blossom through the undying force that we call love.  

From Home To Home.

I gazed out the window and said a reflective fond farewell to British Columbia.  The plane took off from Vancouver airport at 5:00 P.M on Saturday, June 11.  After a nine hour flight and the advancement of eight time zones, we landed at Manchester airport at 10:00 A.M., on Sunday, June 12.  Where the heck had the weekend gone?
For five weeks I left my own routine to to be involved in the routine of two remarkable people.  Two people who have been beset with unimaginable adversity.  I did my very best to be there for my friends.  My own life was put on hold.  The passion I have to write was set aside for another time.  Yet I know that through the deeply profound and inspirational experiences that we shared, that we embraced, my ongoing quest to be a better man, moved one step closer to a more compassionate reality.  I want the mixed emotions, the joy and the despair, to be conveyed through the power and the wonder of the written word.
I'm exhausted yet elated.  I'm tired, but I cannot sleep.  Jet lag has left me with a feeling of surreality.  I look around my English home and wonder if the last five weeks were just a dream.  Did my trip back to Canada, my other home, really happen?  And I realise that it was very real and very raw.  I challenged, once again my anxiety, my overwhelming sense of being stupid and knew that no judgement was made of me.
I shall be doing a few postings of a time that will be etched in my heart and soul, forever.  I have been humbled and I'm even more grateful for all the good that is part of my life.  I have watched, with great admiration, two people who could easily be overwhelmed by a negative environment.  And somehow, despite it all, they continue to seek and cherish all that's positive in life.  Heather and Wayne, the next few postings, I dedicate to you.

And thus from home to home.  On a misty mid-June early English morn, I reflect upon my life and understand that changes in our lives do not happen until we are sincere with ourselves.

Highway To Hope.

It's a cold, dark, rainy early morn in the sleepy little town of Hope, British Columbia.  And I listen to the rain as it taps and dances and splashes upon the bedroom window.  In this moment of quiet solitude, I reflect  upon the ongoing significance of my journey back to this other world, my other home, my other reality.
I'm staying with my dear friend Heather and her husband Wayne, a gentleman I've known for a very short time.  Yet, time enough to understand that through all the adversity he has endured, flickers the flame that will not give negativity permission to dominate and overwhelm his life.  With the ongoing support of his remarkable wife, Wayne has understood, that through trauma and tragedy, we have choices.  Wayne knows he can and he must give himself permission to be positive.
A few days ago, Wayne and I went off to the local shop.  We got to talking to the lady behind the counter.  During our good natured chat, she mentioned that her husband was in a tribute band that did 'AC/DC' songs.  Naturally, the name of the tribute band is, 'Eh C/DC'.   "Ah yes", I mentioned, "AC/DC the band that did a song  titled, 'Highway to Hell'.  Well, I suppose we're on the highway to Hope."
Wayne and I headed back down the road and back to their beautiful home.  A home nestled amongst the breathtaking beauty of Mount Hope and Mount Ogilvie.  I walked along and Wayne wheeled along.  Yet, I do not see this man now confined to a wheelchair.  For, I see beyond the wheelchair and what I see is Wayne.  His eyes tell the story of a man trying to move on from the shackles of his physical restraint.  And deep down inside, I know he senses that the magic of imagination, the spirit of creativity, can never be allowed to be stifled.  Through such a trying time, Wayne will become a stronger man, a better man, for he knows he can make it so.
I'm not here for a holiday.  I'm not here for a sightseeing trip  No, this is a deeply profound and inspirational experience that I believe is clear demonstration of humanity at its finest.  Through transparency and the desire to create a positive environment, Heather and Wayne, you and me, can find a way.
Indeed, life is truly about choice.  We choose the highway that determines how we travel through our lives.  So, do we choose the highway to hell, or do we take take the highway to hope?

Destination Hope.

Greetings everyone. My dear friend Heather, someone who I had not seen in fifteen years, kindly allowed me to use the following e-mail as an introduction to this blog. I dedicate this blog to Heather and her strong, positive family.

"Hello My Dear!!
You have our permission to do all that you ask. Wayne’s accident happened on September 16th, 2oo6 approximately 3:30 in the afternoon. His prognosis at the beginning was quite good and the doctor told him to expect a 95% recovery. Due to the bungling of several so called professionals and the fact that he nearly died 4 times ( one time close enough to have the minister come to his bedside twice), his body had to try to heal itself from illness which took away from his recovery. His spinal cord injury although it was not severed was serious enough to cause what is called an incomplete quadriplegia which means that he has feeling some places and not others. His main injury seems to be due to swelling and the damage it can cause. Sort of like a brain injury being made worse due to not getting enough oxygen for a long time. We are very hopeful of a good recovery which means he will walk again but with assistance. At this point the worst damage has been to his sense of self. He no longer feels like a contributing member of society and is floundering to find an anchor. I try to help him but my words are a bit like not seeing the forest for the trees. I am too close. He actually came home to stay on January 25th, 2008. A very long time indeed and we are still adjusting to what is supposed to be life. We only now are really starting to enjoy some very sweet moments together. I can send some photos of before’s if you like. Stages from the beginning to now. He really has come a very long way and he ( very sweetly) attributes a great deal of that me) I thank God I have the positive attitude that I do, it really has got me through this. Anyway, I can send more info. Just ask away.
How are you now? I am so very proud of you Gary. Doing what you did with the issues you are trying to deal with was tantamount to a miracle. I respect you deeply for your courage and I expect that you will continue to grow and blossom. I bet you were real happy to get back to your garden though. Where did you put the chimes?
Well. I’ll talk to you soon. Let me know if you want more info and I’ll send it along. Love you dear!!!
Heather"

In the face of adversity, that is when you discover just who your true friends are. When Wayne's life changed under such traumatic circumstances, how many 'friends' came to visit him as he lay in his hospital bed? Sadly there were too few. The reality is that some of his visitors felt too awkward. I say, see beyond what happened, focus on Wayne's eyes, see his humanity.

This is a story about courage, resilience, perserverance and the power of love. When I went back to Canada, it was not so much a holiday, no, it was so much more than that. I sought positive inspiration in my own personal journey towards mental health wellbeing. The inspiration I embraced from this brave family is immeasurable.

Seldom have I witnessed such positive determination in a situation that could have torn this family apart. Heather and Wayne know that we have choices. They knew that to allow the circumstances to overwhelm them, was a sign that negativity would be given permission to win. Through the sheer strength of Heather, this permission would never be an option. I know that Heather's love for Wayne during these times of challenging stress, have motivated him to improve his quality of life.

This family unit remains undaunted. With the support of Heather's daughter Margo and her fiancee Brennan, I have seen a family that has found the inner strength to be there for each other. This inner strength will see them through such troubling times. The positive outlook they have displayed is a lesson for those of us who may have contemplated giving up. No matter what the world throws at us, we can discover the power within ourselves to not let negative forces dominate us. We can distance ourselves from a negative environment.

On May 11th, it was Mother's Day in Canada. It also marked the 10th anniversary of my best friend Rob's life coming to an end. Margo is Rob's daughter and I know Mother's Day was a poignant reminder of her dearly loved Father's passing away. Margo was only seventeen when her Dad was taken away from her. I know how devastated she was and from so far away in England, I sent my heartfelt sympathy. Margo, you are a lovely lady and it has been my honour to see you again after fifteen years. Your Father would be so proud of you and the decent spirit of him lives on.

On June 8th, 2008, Margo gave birth. My warmest congratulations to Margo and proud Father Brennan. I know you will make a wonderful family, the love you have for each other will be a powerful influence on your child. Welcome to the world Gabriel, may our legacy to you and your generation, be that we make this planet a greener, more peaceful place.

So to Heather I say. Thank you for being such a positive inspiration to me.To you Wayne, please remember that you have so much support from your determined family. Please draw strength from knowing that nobody can ever remove your dignity. I hope you can now take comfort in knowing you have a friend in me. I am here for you buddy. To Margo and Brennan, thank you for your kindness, your good natured spirit made my trip back to Canada all the more enjoyable.

I listen to the wind chimes that Heather and Wayne so kindly gave me. As I listen to the music of the chimes that now floats into my living room from my beautiful garden, I think of this strong, positive family. The wind chimes are an inspiring reminder of just how grateful I am.

There is a town in British Columbia named 'Hope'. I have fond memories of that town. Heather and Wayne have indicated to me that they would like to live in Hope. As far as I'm concerned, they already live there.