Four-Poster Roller Coaster.

I've spent a good portion of the last few days in bed.  Yep, Boxing Day became more like "Bedding Day."

My doctor told me to stay out of bed because I wasn't getting enough rest.  Ah, those were the days.

For the last few days I've been mostly bedridden.  Ah, those were the days, bed riding....

Feels rather like the flu.  I've had a flu shot.  Now I wonder if a flu shot was literal and it gave me the flu. What next?  Take a headache pill to get a headache?

My former spouse and I purchased a real fancy four-poster bed from a real fancy bed shop in Richmond, British Columbia, many years ago.  We were lying in bed and realised that the mattress had crashed to the floor.  Before your imagination goes places, I shall let you know that the underneath support for the mattress had bent and thus, the mattress caved onto the floor.  A bit of a four-poster roller coaster ride ensued over the next week or so. Slap mattress back in place.  Flop.  Slap mattress back in place.  Flop and thud....

Having unsuccessfully been able to fix the underneath support, we went back to the real fancy bed shop and complained.  The sales dude said to us, "What were you doing?  Diving onto the bed from your wardrobe?" I thought, "How the hell does he know we have a wardrobe?"  My wife replied to him, "No way!  The metal support thingy to keep the mattress off the floor is totally bent!"  Dude chuckled at us.  We returned the bed and got a full refund.  We put the refund money in our spare, actually usable bed so we would have something to fall back on.

A buddy of mine was moving from one side of Vancouver to another.  On top of his car was a mattress.  He decided it would be a really fun thing to have a drag race with the car beside us.  He raced forward and the light at the bottom of the hill went from green to red.  He slammed on the brakes as his mattress flew off the roof.  Next moment and the mattress was sliding through the busy intersection of South East Marine Drive and Fraser Street.  Thankfully, no accident occurred.  Except for my friend crapping himself.

Yeah, I know. My name's Fred Flintstone and I'm gonna' make your bed rock!  Those were the days.....

Here's to a happy, hopeful 2014.