Due to overwhelming demand, I have reposted this one from last year. Okay, slight exaggeration. A certain superstar dog, a confused hedgehog and a couple of garden gnomes, asked me to repost the following.
A number of folks assume that, "Metrosexual is a neologism derived from metropolitan and heterosexual, coined in 1994, describing a man (especially one living in an urban, post-industrial, capitalist culture) who spends a lot of time and money on shopping for his appearance." Source: Wikipedia.
However, there is another meaning to Metrosexual that precedes the commonly regarded definition. 'Metrosexual' is a person who has a bizarre sexual fetish regarding public transport. In particular, subway and underground systems with the name "Metro" in them. There are plenty of examples of rapid transit systems that have the word Metro in them and you will note the Metrosexuals eagerly clambering onto them and finding the location with the most advantageous vibration. My favourite Metro system has the intriguing name, "Belo Horizonte Metro", which is located in Belo Horizonte, Brasil.
So, if you see somebody riding the Metro, who fondles the seats, insists on stroking the hanging overhead knobs, has a silly grin on their face and groans a lot, they may well be a Metrosexual If someone gets on the London Underground and says they just love anything involving "The Tube", they may well be a Metrosexual. If you are talking to someone and they can't stop talking about their love of "BART" (Bay Area Rapid Transit), then indeed, they might just be a Metrosexual. Metrosexual gives the name of that play, "A Streetcar Named Desire", a much deeper meaning.
Okay, not exactly a Metro system, but a bus is a form of public transport. This is the bus that goes to the big city from the little town I live in. This can be a fun ride, as the roads are needing repair and those potholes can be an extra moment of Metrosexual joy.......
And to get it out of the way, there is neologism derived from Neapolitan and heterosexual. Or "N" is for 'Neasexual'. Neasexual is a bizarre sexual fetish regarding being covered in triple flavoured ice cream, whilst having an orgasm....
So there you go, if you're still contemplating an "N", I went forwards from backwards to give you an idea for an "N".
Knew there was a reason I've never taken the bus.
ReplyDeleteWhat about when your partner is covered in ice cream? (Wait, did I say that out loud?)
Alex? You obviously didn't ride the Metro to get here.
ReplyDeleteOnly have your partner covered in ice cream on Sundae, sorry, Sunday.
There has got to be clones of you, Alex!
You are very funny, Gary. Thanks for the laughs. I especially like your definition of a Neasexual. However, I'm wondering why you call it bizarre. Oh, I know, it includes vanilla ice-cream. Now that's just weird.
ReplyDeleteSo you've been to Chico and the Bay Area? I'm impressed. I took BART a lot when I lived in Oakland, but my mind still jumps to Bart Simpson whenever I use the word/term. I do have a thing for Bart. I guess that makes me metrosexual. I learn so much from you.
xoRobyn
Hi Robyn,
DeleteThanks! As we both know, vanilla is so last year! :)
Oh yes, I spent one 'Boxing Day Eve' aka Christmas in Oakland. A cherished memory of some amazing times. I've been to Chico. Heck, I've even been to a Taco Bell in San Pablo!
I've also ridden "BART". Hmmmm...that sounds kinda' bad on so many different levels :) I'm glad to um share my vast knowledge with you, Robyn. Happy metrosexualing!
Gary :) x
Brings a whole new meaning to "riding the Tube"!
ReplyDeleteHi Ian,
DeleteSpeaking from experience, Ian? :) Talk about going Underground....
Gary :)
And here I thought "M" stood for 'Mark the Magnificent'. No? Ah well...it never hurts to dream, right? :)
ReplyDeleteHi Mark,
DeleteWhat the hell was I thinking? "M" is for "Mark the Magnificent". Superhero and a huge admirer of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar. Mark the Magnificent, I salute you! And no, I wont mention what kind of salute :)
Gary the Great :)
I never did like public transportation. All that groaning from the back made me nervous.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteI'd been even more nervous if the groaning was coming from the driver :)
Gary :)
I used to love public transportation when I was young. Don't tell me what that means. But I grew out of it.
ReplyDeleteHi Manzanita,
DeleteI still love public transport. Much rather get on a packed- out bus full of loud folks yelling into their cell phones aka mobile phones and sharing their cringe-worthy chats with me! Much rather do that than drive my car.
I think it's time for a nice stroll :)
Gary :)
Okay, I gotta confess, yes, I looked it up. I was so sure you were pulling my leg. My right leg. I wouldn't have noticed, except suddenly it was a lot longer than my left. But, alas, it wasn't your pulling my leg that stretched it. Maybe it was all the shoveling I've had to do lately. I'm not quite sure what stretched it, but I looked up Metrosexy-whatever and there is an actual disease. The world is really weird, don't you think? I hope I never personally meet one of these Metrosex-starved peoples. OOoey.
ReplyDeleteHi Joylene,
DeleteWould I pull your leg? Of course not. Yeah, pull the other one. Seems you might have been shovelling something beginning with "S" . I snow what you mean. Metrosexulogy, is being studied by public transport planners. Get yourself on the Skytrain!
Gary :)
Punster extrordinaire. Loud smiles here - thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Elephant's Child,
DeleteThank you and I'm going now on the bus armed with a bunch of 'puncakes' :)
Gary :)
I saw a man have a full blown metrogasm in the Paris metro once. The image has scared me for life. :P
ReplyDeleteHi Elise,
DeleteSorry about that. From now on, I promise not to um mess about on the Paris Metro :)
Gary :)
Great post Gary, our public transport leaves much to be desired.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the post very much.
Yvonne.
Hi Yvonne,
DeleteThanks for that. Our public transport can almost be non-existent. Glad you enjoyed this post.
Gary :)
Or it could be a bizarre sexual fetish regarding the freebie paper Metro! LOL!! Take care
ReplyDeletex
Hi Old Kitty,
DeleteWas that you reading the freebie Metro paper? Aha! :)
Gary :)
x
As of now, I have officially heard everything. LOL
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff,
DeleteAnd with that, I'm sending you a month's pass on the London Underground. Enjoy! :)
Gary :)
lol, thanks for the funny post (and stop watching while I stroke this leather seat on the mmmmeeetttrrroooooooohhhhh!) brill.
ReplyDeleteHi The Wicked Writer,
DeleteIndeed and try to restrain from handling the hanging knobs on your way of the mmmmeeetttrrroooooooohhhhh!:)
Gary :)
I did enjoy riding the Tubes in London but no way I would want to lick the seats.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane,
DeleteYes you did. It's now on 'OohTube' :) For sure, the seats are covered in chewing gum.
Gary :)
Here in Philadelphia I rarely use any metro transpertation. It is so outdated
ReplyDeletehere.
Such a funny post!!
Happy Monday we are 1/2 way through the challenge!!
Hi Doreen,
DeleteDon't blame you for not using outdated public transport. I've heard that the seats are covered in Philadelphia Cream Cheese :)
Thank you, Doreen.
Oh yes, that other alphabet challenge :)
Gary :)
Hmmmm... fetish for public transport. I suppose there really IS a fetish for everything eh?
ReplyDeleteKeith, you okay Keith?
DeleteWhat's with the "Hmmmm..." Thinking about public transport, per chance? LOL
Gary :)
I'll never be able to use that word again without bursting into laughter. You've scarred me for life... ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Laura,
DeleteWhat word? "METROSEXUAL"? LOL
Gary :)
You must have the same people taking care of your roads there as we do here. Our road get pretty bad sometimes.
ReplyDeleteHi Terry,
DeleteOh, do you have a bunch of folks standing around staring at the potholes instead of actually fixing them. Sounds familiar.
Thank you, Terry.
Gary :)
So that is why there are so many creepy crawlys on the bus, walking works better I say, for they may get antsy and fondle something else you don't want them to.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat,
DeleteYes, there are even a few bugs on the buses. Go for strolls and play with your balls :)
Gary :)
I have just read the title, and I'm giggling in anticipation... I'm making myself a coffee before I read the rest *blows liquid through a different tube* There is Nothing or No-one I hope to see more New posts from Now. None of those N words look that good Next to yours.
ReplyDeleteHi Ida,
DeleteA cup of coffee and then time to have fun on the buses, perhaps :) Now I know Nothing. Which is, of course, a double Negative. So, does that mean I know something about Nothing? Yes, I'm weird :)
Shall be checking your blog later when I have Nothing else to do.
Gary :)
Nothing exists, something is created from nothing and can become everything... so to know nothing is to know all :)
DeleteAha Ida, and thus nothing is something. I remember learning that in another dimension which I'm in and not in all at the same time or no time :)
DeleteMy, my, my. Mmmmhhh, I never thought about it this way. I might never look at a bus ride the same.
ReplyDeleteHi Angelika,
DeleteNice photos of public transport on your site :) Oh my oh my! :) Enjoy your next bus ride and look around you.
Gary :)
You are too funny!!! Glad you reposted.
ReplyDeleteMy only question...do you think the Neasexual's avoid the strawberry ice cream like everyone else?
Hi Elizabeth,
DeleteThank you and of course, due to overwhelming demand, I have reposted this one from last year. Ahem!
Strawberry avoidance? I thought any respectable Neasexual avoids vanilla :)
Gary :)
Hahaha! I LOVE A Streetcar Named Desire, but have never riden an actual streetcar...bus, skytrain and seabus..yes, yes and yes, but never a streetcar. Glad you reposted this...so funny!
ReplyDeleteHi Eve,
DeleteHow about experiencing a bit of desire on a streetcar? The Skytrain, especially when it goes over that bridge to Surrey, is the best part. The Seabus, when the water is choppy, pure bliss! :) Thank you for liking my reposting.
Gary
We don't have public transport here...
ReplyDeleteThank god
Hi John,
DeleteI'm sure you have public transport in Wales. I saw several people riding on a tractor and they had silly grins :)
Gary :)
There is a lack of public transport here as well. Everyone drives their own cars. Now, I will actively seek the nearest metro to check out your claims.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
DeleteI'd like to think everyone drives their own cars. Although I have watched "Bait Car". Happy Metroing, Susan :)
Gary :)
Adult content alert! With only a dash of imagination writers can turn metrosexual and ice cream into one heck of a story.
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
DeleteFrom a ridiculous alleged adult content alert, perhaps :) Imagination? This is based on 'true' events! LOL?
Gary :)
Oops! I also meant to comment on this passing at the letter M business! It worked out that way after all. You were right.
ReplyDeleteOops, Lee. Aha, yep, it's with a touch of sadness that the two challenges only pass by on this letter :)
DeleteGary :)
Ha! I rode BART everyday for years, but the only thing I ever did was fall asleep. Not very exciting. I do seem to remember a certain scene with Rebecca DeMornay and Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Does that count as metrosexual?
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy,
DeleteYes, you sure did ride BART everyday for years! :) Bet you had some interesting dreams while riding BART. Risky Business and metrosexual go hand in hand :)
Gary :)
OMG, I was laughing so loud The Engineer wanted to know what was so funny...I said "Gary" and he said, "Of course!" having heard me snort and guffaw through many a post of yours. You've outdone yourself with this one my friend...and how cool that we meet in the middle. Isn't that the spirit of cooperation?
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge Blog
@TinaLifeisGood, #atozchallenge
Hi Tina,
DeleteThanks, I'm glad this made you laugh. And The Engineer must wonder at times about your snorting and guffawing. You might like to try those sounds on public transport. Nobody will even notice :)
For sure and I deliberately timed it so we passed by at the half way mark of our opposite challenges :) A great result in the spirit of cooperation, my dear friend.
Happy alphabeting and I'll see you at end of the route! Ha ha....
Gary :)
It's funny the first time I heard Metrosexual, I thought in the meaning you're explaining today. I am wondering now if ice-cream is bad for scales, but even if it doesn't, it would be needed too much ice-cream to cover a dragon.
ReplyDeleteHi Al,
DeleteActually, you thought correct. This is the other 'true' meaning :) Ice cream is good for the scaly complexion. However, don't eat ice cream. Might just put out the fire :)
Gary )
This post made me laugh out loud. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi Julia,
DeleteThanks and making you laugh is a wonderful result. I shall try to keep up the good work :)
Gary :)
So, you mean that, if I suggest taking public transportation to a dude whose car is in the shop and he says, "Fuck the bus!" I should be worried?
ReplyDeleteHi Al Penwasser,
DeleteExcellent, I like your take on this. If the dude says, "Fuck the bus!" no need to worry. You might just want to experience public transport yourself in a way you never thought possible :)
Gary :)
Hi Gary .. well all I can politely say from this very reserved town of retirees in Eastbourne .. is that I am so glad my N post wasn't on Neapolitan ice-cream ... so nearly was --- and I have one of those jokes told by a guy teaching a class of 40 or so mature students statistics .. I haven't some many years later forgotten the story and we laughed so hard .. well softly too ... as the ........ in fact we didn't know whether to laugh or cry or snigger ... it was hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteRiding the tube or the bus will bring new thoughts to my little brain ... cheers Hilary
Hi Hilary,
DeleteI'm sorry to discover your posting isn't about Neapolitan ice cream. Still, when I get over to your site, I'm sure you've got the situation licked, so to speak. It seems you had a delightful time with that teacher. Hope that sounds right.
Just think of the big grin you will have riding the Tube or the bus. The pleasures of public transport, eh.
Gary :)
Did you say a bizarre sexual fetish regarding public transport? Now I know why I love my car so much, so much that I've given it a name and stroke it's furry seats and...
ReplyDeleteWell, you get the picture.
Hi The Blue Grumpster,
DeleteYou love your car very much. I'm sure your car appreciate your fond attention. And I've been told the Metrosexuals are missing you on public transport! :)
I got the picture and thanks for that....
Gary :)
Lol hilarious. Yeah I can see why this post is back by popular demand. :-D
ReplyDeleteHi Misha,
DeleteThanks. Yes indeed, overwhelming popular demand! A certain superstar dog, a confused hedgehog and a couple of garden gnomes begged me to repost! :)
Gary :)
If only I had read this yesterday. I should have gone with "Neasexuals" instead. Not that I would have actually gone with them, but with Haagen Daz and the right lighting...I remember this wonderful post, and it was just as funny the second time around!
ReplyDeleteJulie
Hi Julie,
DeleteI'm sorry you read this reposting too late to use "Neasexuals". I thought you were more into Baskin Robbins :)
Thank you for your kind words, Julie.
Gary :)
Dude...ur welcome!
ReplyDeleteOh my word! I see them on the buses all the time!!! That is too funny, gary. I would have to say, I'm sure back in the 70's they really took it "to the streets". Hmmm....
Hey Tammy!
DeleteOf course, I'm welcome!
You go looking for and joining in with them on the buses, right? I guess the "Doobie Brothers" had some fun on their tour bus!
"Hmmm...." indeed!
Gary :)
Hey there! I got to your blog by way of Tina at Life is Good. As soon as I saw your blog name Klahanie, I knew you were gonna be in the Pacific NW and am pleased that you are in Vancouver. I was in Washington State for many years. Love BC w/ a passion.
ReplyDeleteLove your post. As one who rode San Francisco's Muni for years I don't know how anyone could be metrosexual THAT way. lol
Hey Jojo,
DeleteOh yeah, Tina is my hero :) Actually, at the present time, I'm living in England. Sorting the English out. I'm from Vancouver, Canada. Of course not to be confused with the one in Washington State. B.C. and Canada, eh.
Did I mention what fun I've had on Skytrain? Be well and happy riding.
Gary :)
My kids are dying to ride public transportation. Now I have another reason to say no.
ReplyDeleteHi Jenn,
DeleteThere you go. My public service announcement about public transport may well of helped you out.
Gary :)
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm finally back to comment on your oftentimes hilarious postings. And I'm glad to say that this one about "Metrosexuals" is indeed very funny. In fact, I hadn't thought about it before, but I do get a certain little frisson when travelling on buses around Stoke-on-Trent. Indeed, I think I may well be a metrosexual, and I'm sure you're overjoyed that I've chosen your blog as a suitable place for me to "come out", as it were.
But, enough about me and my sexual peccadillos. I hear you may be 'round my way soon. So, if you want to, you could always pop in for a chat and a nice cup of cha!
Hope to speak to, or see you, soon,
David.
Hi David,
DeleteThanks heavens you've finally been able to comment on one of my um must read postings. I'm starting to think your actual absence from my blog is because you've been lusting after the idea of riding a bus up Hanley duck.
Nothing wrong with your sexual peccadilloes. Keep your peccadillo up on the number 18, David. Shall very soon grace you with a visitation. I shall actually be driving my car. You believe that? No?
Be well, hirsute pal.
Gary
So... your story is... you're blaming this on the superstar dog, confused hedgehog, and some garden gnomes? Where is your sense of honor, man? Well, I'll deal with you later, as I have to catch a bus. As I totaled my van this week, no more driving-sexual tendencies. My contentment must lie(!) with being a passenger.
ReplyDeleteOne more check in the (M)irror before I depart. (~And, Gary, I so remember this post from the earlier time... back in the days when you blushed.) :P xxx
Dearest Dixie,
DeleteI left my sense of honour on public transport! :) Be careful 'catching' a bus. Can be quite painful. Sorry about your van. I guess the good thing is you can do some serious hopping onto a bus :)
Yep, a repeat by um, popular demand. I'm still blushing and I have long red hair! Seriously :)
Gary xxx :)
You say Metrosexual is a person who has a bizarre sexual fetish regarding public transport and you also say Neasexual is a bizarre sexual fetish regarding being covered in triple flavoured ice cream, whilst having an orgasm. While I agree that sexual fetishes regarding public transport are indeed bizarre, I find nothing at all bizarre or even the least bit unusual about being covered in triple flavoured ice cream whilst having an orgasm. In fact, if I may be so bold, I find your terming it bizarre a bit bizarre. If you are ever in the neighborhood, you are welcome to join me and several of my friends in our twice-weekly circle melt.
ReplyDeleteHello rhymeswithplague,
DeleteRather bizarrely, I'm bizarrely liking your bizarre reply to my bizarreness. It seems when it comes to a Neapolitan fetish, you and your friends have it covered. Sorry, I can only visit on Sundae, sorry, Sunday.
Ice scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Haha, I love it, both versions. Women and men are under so much pressure to be something they are not. I've grown so much over the past year. The last place we lived was a harsh teacher, we didn't follow our gut because they were so much like us. But I was depressed at the time my Partner was not looking forward to living in someone else basement. Tnankfully it was short, now I am with my Partners family. I had hoped for awhile that she would reach out to her brother, it was so close we were two weeks away from not knowing where we would live, and with three cats it's hard to find a place.
ReplyDeleteNow we are living in another mil, but above ground, finally we have heat. No worries about room and board, and most necessities. Only cat food. I now have the extended family I've wanted. A niece who warmed up to me so fast at my birthday dinner she picked out my cake (pink). We then went to the craft store to get her a scrapbook like me. As we left she reached out to hold my hand, she stayed two days. We spent a lot of time teaching each other our style of art. Her calling me Auntie Kendal so warmed my heart I almost cried. I've got two more brothers, and two more sisters. Grandma is so protective that she had never let her granddaughter alone with anyone. I'm the first, twice now.
The sad part was the death of J's other older brother last December. The good is we have money in the five figures coming, $5,000 of it has already gotten here. A big of a spending spree to get us some badly needed close. I've always took the good with the bad, and this over 3 years of hardship brought on by the recession that it feels good to be bouncing back up. I now figured out where I want to volunteer next, teaching art, either at my nieces kindergarten, or the Seattle Academy of Arts and Science, grades 6-12. This is the kind of school that would have been my choice. One of my new sisters work there as a counselor. (:
Kendal (:
Hi Kendal,
DeleteOh my, such a heartfelt and thoughtful comment you have left. Through the adverse times, you are moving forward in a most positive light. And living in a beautiful city such as Seattle is an added bonus. You sure seem to be upbeat and that's so encouraging. I'll come and visit your site real soon. Lovely to hear from you, Kendal :) And to just add a bit of fun, it's me Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar replying to your comment. My lazy human has dozed off!
Pawsitive wishes,
Penny :)
I frequently commute by train...wonder if I should read anything into that, now... ;-)
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic
Hi Mina,
DeleteNow that depends on what you are doing on the train. Do you sit near the part with the most vibrations? My human has been told that you can get footloose in the caboose :)
On behalf of my sleeping human, yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!
I have been educated! YAY! I honestly have never heard of a metrosexual until recently when it came up with the male gender liking to keep their appearance up as much as a lady. So yay for another meaning and education!
ReplyDeleteJamie Dement (LadyJai)
My A to Z
Caring for My Veteran
Hey Jamie,
ReplyDeleteHere's to education! A nice reflection on you. This is of course the alternative, almost bordering on literal definition of Metrosexual! You've gotta love education.
Gary
Thank you for making me laugh today. I won't make a joke cause I'm really bad at that although I feel like a reply to this post almost requires a joke. I'm a fan of walking or biking, which is how I get around most days.
ReplyDeleteI used to live in Chicago, where they have the CTA, would that make certain Chicagoans transitsexuals? Sounds like someone in transition during sex; I guess that makes sense. See, I'm horrible.
What's someone who gets off on a bicycle? Cyclosexuals?
BTW, what do you have against the A to Z Challenge?
Hi Ula,
Deletelooks like my sneaky plan on "Farcebook" and my IWSG aka "I Was Seeking Gary", has worked :)
I'm really pleased I could make you laugh. Thanks for that. I'm a fan of jogging, as in jogging my memory.
I know a couple of folks who still live in Chicago. I do believe that the band, "Chicago", may know all about what you mean.
This might surprise you. I have ironically promoted the A to Z by satirising it. In fact, Arlee Bird, the creator of the alphabet crap, is a good friend of mine. I will say, however, that the A to Z is just way too long and hijacks the blogging world. I also get emails from bloggers telling me they are struggling with it. Seems crazy to do it then.
Thank you, kind friend.
Gary :)
Hilarious. Thanks for giving me my first out-loud laugh of the day.
ReplyDeleteHi Val,
DeleteI'm most heartened you found this archived post hilarious. That's what it's all about. Thank you and happy travels to you.
Gary :)
Love your cover photo. What a gorgeous place to live! Love your opening line about meeting in the middle and the thought that you'd do the alphabet backwards, and have a little fun with metrosexual.
ReplyDeletePlay off the Page
Hi Mary,
DeleteThank you very much for commenting on this archived post. Delighted you like my cover photo. I'm blessed to be so close to beautiful countryside. Nothing like having a bit of fun on all things Metro :) I told those who were doing the A to Z, that we would Meet in the Middle.
Have a nice weekend.
Gary
That's just a little disturbing. I don't think I'll be buying Neopolitan ice cream for a while.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth,
DeleteI really appreciate you taking the time to respond to this ancient post. I understand what you're saying. To be on the safe side, stick with vanilla :)
Enjoy your weekend.
Gary