And the darkness descended again. The colours of the rainbow faded back to shades of black, of white, of grey. For the past month I've been living under a cloud of gloom. Time to have the sun shine through that cloud of doom and see the vibrant colours of the rainbow.
Like so many, I have been targeted by a ruthless British government. A government who are attacking the poor, the sick, the vulnerable. And through this, the memories I had tried to move on from, were dredged up by a questionnaire that questions my illness. Yes, the stress has been unbearable and made me feel sick, distraught and hysterical with fear. Indeed, this horrible government is making the already sick, sicker.
Why are they doing this? It's all in the name of austerity. That would be austere measures where those who can least afford it, are suffering the consequences of those who got us into this mess in the first place. This may sound all too familiar, no matter where you live.
For the past month, I've been completely exhausted. Barely able to get out of bed. For the past month, I would get out of bed and within an hour, found myself back under the duvet. Thanks to all this outrageous stress imposed, I have been feeling anxious, breathless and barely functioning. In actuality, I can hardly muster up the energy to type this.
With every fibre of my resilient, defiant nature, I challenge this. I need to relax and realise a more positive now. I have decided, no matter what obstacles are put before me, I shall knock down the barriers and find a way. I always do. I will not give negative influences permission to sabotage my right to a peaceful, positive life.
I have a friend in Wales who needs some comfort. My friend is going through a challenging time and I want to be there for him. This means that I'm staying well away from a computer for the next few days, starting Tuesday morning. I believe that by trying to help my friend, in turn, I help myself.
I am profoundly grateful for your ongoing support and understanding during one of the worst moments of my life. I know that we are here for each other and that fills me with hope, inspiration and the determination to carry on. Thank you for reading this. I'm visualising the vibrant colours of the rainbow.
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
May the golden light of the sun shine through the prism of your life and bring you that much needed rainbow. Such sad people that bring so much misery to others....may they find their rainbow as well. Maybe if we all find our rainbow we can light up each others lives. What a wonderful world THAT would be.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteThank you and I'm noting a prism and such lucid, brilliant colours. May those who would heap misery on others learn and find the rainbow of hope we try to share.
Your rainbow wishes for a better world are gratefully acknowledged. Thank you, dear friend.
In kindness and hope, Gary
I'm sorry!
ReplyDeleteYes, when we help others, our own problems ang worries tend to shrink. The more we give of ourselves, the stronger we become.
Hope you find your strength in helping your friend.
Hi Alex,
DeleteNo worries, my friend. I rather feel a modicum of sadness for the perpetrators of such an attack on the vulnerable in society.
And you, good sir, are clear and colourful demonstration of when we help each other, we help ourselves. I'm grateful to know you.
In kindness and hope, Gary
I am praying that the clouds hanging over your house (I know those clouds too well) will dissipate very soon, and your house will be flooded with sunshine. Keep slogging through the mud meantime. When a government reduces its population to numbers on a paper, then we all are in danger.
ReplyDeleteYou are appreciated, Gary, by so very many people.
Hi Susan Kane,
DeleteYour prayers are warmly welcomed, Susan. We all must continue to keep those clouds away from our homes. Through that mire of mud, I do slog away and will not give the powers that be, permission to ruin my life, or the lives of others. Sadly, the bureaucracy has cast a shadow on a worldwide scale. We will overcome.
I am deeply touched by your sentiments, Susan.
In kindness and hope, Gary
Oh I am sorry that things are so difficult. As you say, helping your friend may indeed help you too.
ReplyDeleteKnow that we are thinking of you and hoping you find the rainbow. If you need a little immediate feeling of joy, give Miss Penny a hug. That is a guaranteed spirit lifter.
Your friends
Bert and Vickie
Hi Bert and Vickie,
DeleteI thank you both and I keep visualising that peaceful time that waits around the corner. Trying to be of help to a friend will be a much needed distraction for the both of us.
Your thoughts are kindly received and may we all experience the true colours of our personal rainbows. I shall now give Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, a therapeutic hug :) Thanks again to you both.
In kindness and hope, Gary
I'm glad to hear the clouds are parting for you, and you're on the look-out for a rainbow now. You're right about how helping your friend will also help you. Funny how things always work out that way. (Maybe it's the universe's way of encouraging us to be more helpful to each other.) Here's to seeing all those bright colors again. (But, um, watch out for the purple clouds!)
ReplyDeleteHi Susan Flett Swiderski,
DeleteThank you, Susan. Those clouds are going and I'm getting that rainbow back with the colours again. Yes, to be there for a friend when they need company, is a unifying way of seeing the clearer picture. I shall contemplate your last sentence while I'm sitting in my car and trying to get through a roundabout :)
In kindness and hope, Gary
Gary, stay strong. Focus on the things that you can control and leave the rest be.
ReplyDeleteYour Malaysian stalker friend sends positive thoughts your way and I hope you still remember her name. =)
Hi Shanaz,
DeleteThank you. I will indeed stay strong and I'm determined to direct my focus on all that is good in my life.
My very own Malaysian 'stalker' :) It's so good to see you, Shanaz :)
In kindness and hope, Gary
Gary, my friend, as I look out at this miserable, dull day, I am filled with hope and that hope is down to you and your positive thoughts. Even when this cruel world is crapping on all and sundry from a great height, you find a positive energy that is intoxicating. For this, I thank you and plead with you to carry on, because, there is light, joy and positivity for us all.
ReplyDeleteJ
Follow me at HEDGELAND TALES
Hi John,
DeleteMy good friend, I am heartened that despite, the dull and dreary weather, you embrace the hope and positivity that is the underlying message within my posting.
I carry on and you carry on. No matter what, we both see the positive beyond the dark. I applaud you, John.
In kindness and hope, Gary
I am most certainly sending healing light in all the magical colours of the rainbow to you and your friend as well. I do understand that so tired I feel sick syndrome and how bad it is for my psyche and myself. I am in awe of your courage in putting your friend first. I will be thinking of you. Often.
ReplyDeleteHi The Elephant's Child,
DeleteYour message of light is most gratefully welcomed. I sense the return of the magical colours of the rainbow for me, for my friend and for all of us. Indeed, as you know, stress can exhaust us. A negative energy that tries to rob us of our positive energy. With resilience and determination, I know you will stay strong and hopeful. I thank you for such positive thoughts.
In kindness and hope, Gary
I want to be one of the colors of your rainbow. Helping others is always good. It helps take our minds off our own issues. I think the phrase that fits best right now is...."Don't let anyone steal you joy!"
ReplyDeleteHi middle child,
DeleteYou are all the colours of the rainbow. And I know, from reading your heartfelt postings, that you always try to be there for others. To be there for others can distract away from our own concerns and is rather empowering. Oh yes, nobody has the right to steal away our right to be joyful. Thank you, my dear friend.
In kindness and hope, Gary
Hi Gary - a great post and I hope it has helped shove some of the bad vibes off into the long grass. I'm so pleased you're looking for the rainbow - and your friend in Wales will really appreciate your being there with him. Just a little help helps others too and helps ourselves ... that it is so true.
ReplyDeleteYou are being very true to yourself - and fighting your way back ... so pleased to read this - have a safe journey and enjoy the few days away - or however long ... and we'll be here on your return.
Cheers for now .. I'll be thinking of you both and wishing you through John's dark clouds so he can push on and see the rainbow that's there for him ... Hilary
Hi Hilary,
DeleteI thank you most profoundly. To verbalise my feelings is cathartic and therapeutic. My hope is also to let others know we can find a way through the darkest of times. And during those dark moments, helping each other, truly emphasises that we help ourselves.
I, like you, will never allow negative aspects dictate the way we live our life. The journey to Wales will most likely be until about Friday.
Thank you and your encouraging thoughts for the remarkable John and myself, are wondrous demonstration of the caring human you truly are.
In kindness and hope, Gary
The rainbow will always always and forever more triumph over governments (especially THIS one)! Rainbows are honest and reliable and pure. All the best Gary! Take care
ReplyDeletex
Hi Old Kitty,
DeleteAh yes, our rainbows of hope and sincerity, shall overcome the most despicable of forces. And this may well be the most inhumane British government of all time. Thank you and may your rainbow be filled with such vibrant colours.
In kindness and hope, Gary
x
Courage to you. I wish I could send you a rainbow to drape on your wall!
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny,
DeleteMy courage has increased thanks to the virtual rainbow you sent that now drapes proudly on my wall :) Thank you, Jenny.
In kindness and hope, Gary
may the sunlight shine upon you always sending light and love your way Hugs
ReplyDeleteHi becca,
DeleteYour sunny wishes of light and love, are truly embraced. May the vibrant colours of your rainbow bring hope and peace into your life. Hugs to you, my friend.
In kindness and hope, Gary
Thanks for this blog, I'm sure it your feeling are echo'd by thousands of people who are going through what you are. Courage mon brave, don't let them get you down. See you soon
ReplyDeleteHi Philip,
DeleteThank you for your comment, Philip. I would reckon that my anger and stress would be echoed by millions of downtrodden and vulnerable people. We shall, no matter what, allow them to get the better of us. See you very soon and let's enjoy some well deserved fun.
In kindness and hope, Gary
Wish there was something I could do. Kick someone's butt? I would. This is outrageous and we can't stand for it. The internet is a powerful tool, Gary. If you need names, I'm there. At least I can do that.
ReplyDeleteBe safe. Be strong. Don't let them beat you.
Hi Joylene,
DeleteYou have done plenty just by leaving a comment. My dear friend, I'm most grateful for that. What's happening in Britain is but a reflection of many a ruthless government that targets the unfortunate to pay for the mistakes of the fortunate. The internet is such a powerful tool. Just having your name here supporting those who are suffering, is one heck of a start.
I gather strength from you and all those who are outraged at the injustice so many are enduring. They will never beat me. I'm better than them and so are we all. Thank you, Joylene.
Gary
It is truly dreadful the way this so called government is behaving - shameful, despicable crowd. What makes it worse is that more money is lost through their wealthy tax dodging friends than is used to help those in need. Don't let them wear you down. Sending you rainbows and sunshine and wishing you peace. Take care of yourself x
ReplyDeleteHi Teresa,
DeleteThis outrageously evil coalition government, led by that posh git, David 'Scameron', are continuing to target the worst off in society. And yep, their "fat cat" buddies get away with dodging taxes, while they fiddle with their expenses. They will not wear me down. Whatever happens, I will keep my head high and move on with dignity and my morals intact. Same could not be said of the government.
Thank you for the rainbows, the sunshine and the wishes of peace. May you continue to look after yourself, Teresa.
In kindness and respect, your way, Gary x
I think we can all relate to challenging times and how overwhelming it can often feel. With Family members already struggling with permanent disabilities, financial struggles, age and health issues... and being Custodial Grandparents of two of our G-Kids... we can certainly relate to your plight of dealing with extreme Challenges and the stress that dealing with various Agencies and Programs entails on top of dealing with the day to day Issues of Life as the cards have been dealt to us. It is exhausting, it does give one a double dose of humility to even have to ask for help when obviously it would be more preferable not to have to. My Mum is from Wales and so we still have Family in your Country struggling with similar Issues that we here in America are also facing {and around the World I might add} due to the condition of the Worldwide Economy being in Crisis. I don't know what the Solution is, I Pray one will be found and acted upon... but in the meantime, may we Trust the Lord to have our back since He is Faithful... may we Help and Share with others and find Purpose for our Lives in the doing of what we can... and find the Colors of the Rainbow as we reflect on what Blessings still abound and focus on not what has been Lost, but what is Left. Hugs and Christmas Blessings coming to you from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
ReplyDeleteGreetings Dawn,
DeleteMost kind of you to visit and leave such a thoughtful, articulate comment.
The heart rendering details you allude to and your determination, despite such bureaucracy via all those agencies and programs, shows the resilience and the love you exude to your loved ones. Loved ones who are battling against the odds with grit and courage.
Those in power, on a worldwide basis, which is noted in my article, are undermining and attacking the most unfortunate and vulnerable in our societies. And to top it all, they allege to be of faith and a caring of humanity. Yet, the evidence reveals a sinister reality where those who need to massage their egos, cause havoc and misery upon the sick and the poor.
Whatever inspires and gives you comfort, is truly respected. May we all immerse ourselves in the vibrant colours of a rainbow that some have tried to remove the colour from. Thank you for your comment. I'm most grateful. Positive wishes to you and your loved for a peaceful Christmas.
With respect and goodwill, Gary
You've made it through everything life has tossed at you so far, and come up smiling. You'll make it through all this with flying colours too, my friend. Keep the faith.
ReplyDeleteLaura
x
Hi Laura,
DeleteOh yes, my dear friend, just as you have, I refuse to let the barriers deny me the right to be happy. We shall smile and flying colours are flying of the rainbow.
I shall keep the faith that we shall overcome. May you continue to be resilient and inspirational, Laura.
In peace and positive wishes, your way, Gary
and besides, when you smile a lot it freaks people out. :)
DeleteHi Laura,
Delete:) :) :)!!
My poor lil' boy. I wish I could give you comfort, but the best comfort will come when you are helping someone else. You will feel better by making someone else feel better. But it doesn't change the facts. WHEN did the government get so much power over medical and mental problems? It happened slowly, and when we woke up it was a done deal that none of us were prepared for.
ReplyDeleteHey lotta joy,
DeleteThank y'all for your comment. And for sure, if you can make someone else feel better, you feel better. Such a positive focus can diminish the feelings of despair we might be experiencing in our own lives.
It's an ongoing deal over here in Britain. Yes, they call it "austerity". Which of course is having the unfortunate get punished for the mistakes of the fortunate. Hope you're having a peaceful weekend.
In kindness, Gary
Bloody government! The same things are going on over here, my ex has huge bags under his eyes from not being able to sleep due to anxiety. Now and again he phones and I let him rant a bit, then he's able to listen while I talk him down a bit, sometimes he is calm enough to sleep after that.
ReplyDeleteI hope you see your own rainbow again very soon.
Hi River,
DeleteIt's a bloody outrage what these governments are doing to the vulnerable, the sick, the poor. And I do so hope that the torment for your ex will be eased. Thus, not only do I want him to have a bit of peace, but you as well.
The rainbow is getting the colours back. I refuse to let these inhumane morons get the better of me. Wishing you and your ex, a peaceful Sunday.
Gary
I hope the rainbow can shine again soon.
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a bad thing that they government are targeting the sick and disabled yet the rich are getting away with not paying their fair share of taxes. The ESA reassessment lengthened an episode of my illness, so I can relate to the dreaded forms draining all of your positivity.
But hanging on to that hope that you will be back to your usual self is a good thing. And I look forward to your return to blogging when you are ready.
Hi Lost in Space,
DeleteThank you, my friend and the rainbow is peeking out from the clouds.
I realise that you relate and empathise to the anxiety that the ESA reassessment can have. It is beyond belief that they would impose such measures and cause those already ill, to start to feel ill in a reinforced way.
I always embrace hope. Even in those darkest of moments. Yes, what they are doing, has impacted my concentration on doing one of the things I really want to do. I would like to write and be a part of this amazing community on a more regular basis. Thank you for this. Please know you have my ongoing support and may you continue to live life the way you want to live.
In kindness and understanding,
Gary
Keep strong Gary, easier said than done I know, but know too that you are not alone and we have to gather the support we can from our friends and keep warm with it through these awful months the government are striking us with. I am posting you this poem, which has arrived on my screen as I thought of ye, I'm not saying tis all that relevant, maybe so, maybe not, but it made me smile and its for you :)
ReplyDeleteI Know A Man by Robert Creeley
As I sd to my
friend, because I am
always talking,--John, I
sd, which was not his
name, the darkness sur-
rounds us, what
can we do against
it, or else, shall we &
why not, buy a goddamn big car,
drive, he sd, for
christ's sake, look
out where yr going.
Hi All Consuming,
DeleteThank you, my supportive and understanding friend. I know how you relate and be assured that I will be there for you. We cannot allow this evil government to impose on our right to a peaceful life. We are trying to get better, not worse.
Tis a wondrous poem thy fair maiden has senteth me. Me thinks the smile upon yon face and the smile upon my face, lights up the rainbow :)
You're a treasure, my friend. Sending you hopeful wishes and respect.
Gary
Stay strong Gary and hang in there! Your writing this post shows that you at least have the motivation and courage to do what it takes to get out from under those clouds and find that rainbow.
ReplyDeleteI hope visiting your friend and offering some comfort will in turn help you. Helping others can be a great way to feel better about yourself as well! Best of luck!
-Aaron
Hi Aaron,
DeleteThank you, good sir and I will stay strong. I do try to display, via my writing, that we can work through the most daunting of times. Motivation and being there for others, is a positive, powerful force.
I have now returned from visiting my friend in Wales. I think that by us both verbalising our feelings, that we most assuredly helped each other. Thank you, Aaron.
In peace and understanding,
Gary
Wishing you a pleasant calm journey xx
ReplyDeleteHi Lily,
DeleteThank you very much. I have now returned from my pleasant, calm trip to Wales.
May you have a lovely Sunday.
Gary xx
Oh Gary, I'm sending lots of virtual hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteI hope all goes well for your trip to Wales. Things always seem much bleaker to me when the skies are grey. I hope a brighter outlook is shining down on you again now with a change of scene and some supportive company.
Hi Madeleine,
DeleteThank you and your virtual hugs are warmly embraced.
All went fairly well on my trip to Wales, thank you. The weather was a bit wild and windy, but being with a bit of company certainly was a most positive result for all concerned.
Here's wishing you a most peaceful Sunday, Madeleine.
In kindness, your way, Gary
Well, my friend, I do hope and perceive that you'll be able to carry yourself through this oppressive challenge. I've read of your struggles with different situations before and I see you getting through the obstacles. I would be mad as hall, at first, if I was facing those conditions. then I'd get really depressed and then, I'd fight through it, full of determination. I don't about you, but for me, it all happens in a series of stages. You look at as vibrant colors of the rainbow when your determination is set and ready to roll forward. I don't see the colors but I see the challenges and push through. I can see that you will that your own way, too.
ReplyDeleteHi Kelly,
DeleteThank you and your perception would be correct. Those obstacles laid before me can seem so overwhelming. Yet, despite the challenge brought upon us by those who would prey on the vulnerable, I shall indeed work through this. I always do.
I can relate to your stages, my friend. I find a way, after the darkness, to find the resilience to get the colours back in the rainbow. They are getting vibrant again, because I can make it so. Thank you, Kelly and know I'm also around whenever you need support.
Hope you had a peaceful weekend.
In kindness and admiration, Gary
Oh Gary, so sorry you are going through a difficult time. However, I do believe that you will indeed knock down those barriers, history shows you always do. Even at your lowest you are brave and offer so much strength to those who are and have felt the same way. I can't begin to say enough about you sharing you feelings, it not only helps you, but opens the door for so many who are struggling to reach out and share. It is posts like these that remind us that we are not alone and they remind us of how strong we are. You my dear are strong and a precious gem that no one or anything can break.
ReplyDeleteHi Madison,
DeleteThank you, dear friend and I do try to demonstrate that we don't have to allow the barriers to defeat us. I consider the transparency of my feelings and concerns, does help others who can understand. As you so profoundly realise, we are all in this together.
There is comfort in sharing and the caring returned, gives me the positive energy to keep moving on. Your wise words are cherished, Madison. You know I will continue, as best I can, to be of support to you. I'm most grateful to know you.
In hope and empathy, your way, Gary
I see from comments above that you are back from Wales now. Hope all went well. The blogging community is missing your posts.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteOh yes, somehow I managed to figure out how to get back :) A rather surreal trip but all went fairly well, thank you.
I'm flattered that folks might be missing my posts. Of course, as you know, I have actually posted one up.
Thank you for the follow up comment.
Gary
Thanks for coming by for a Christmas Blog visit. May your Christmas Decorating be in full swing now... in all of the Colors of the Rainbow!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
Hi Dawn,
DeleteIt was my pleasure to visit your wonderful Christmas blog. All I need to do know is get my Christmas decorations out of the loft and note the sparkly rainbow colours :)
A peaceful, positive Christmas to you in the Arizona desert.
In kindness, Gary
I hope you are with your friend in Wales.
ReplyDeleteWe -- as a People, not as a Person -- are often cruel in our indifferences to those who need us, perhaps because in them we see aspects of ourselves and we are afraid. Those that have not suffered from a mental illness don't know the reality -- or unreality, so to speak -- of it. It makes me ashamed, how our governments behave.
Pulling for you and your friend, all the way from Minneapolis,
Pearl
Hi Pearl,
DeleteI spent some quality time with my friend in Wales and now I am back typing from a computer in England. Thank you for your kind wishes.
You bring up some thought provoking observations, Pearl. Those who have never experienced mental health concerns must realise that it can happen to anyone. I do my best to live with, rather than suffer from my illness. The governments that would target the vulnerable to pay for the mistakes of those who caused such a mess, should hang their heads in shame.
Thank you for your supportive words to my friend and I. May you have a peaceful day in Minneapolis and stay well wrapped up :)
Gary
I came here hoping for an update. When someone writes of experiencing one of the lowest moments of their lives, and then I hear no more, I worry.
ReplyDeleteI guess the pregnant duchess feels no need to worry about her medical care. After all, when you're both filthy rich and your government had rather see a million other people die than to see you get a hangnail, what's there to worry about? Leave austerity to the little people. Enjoy private care all the way. Be given the best doctors at a moment's notice, and have them come to you, if you would like. Never have to wait or to stand in line for anything ever for your whole life long. If the message in this isn't that the "little people" simply don't matter, I don't know what it is, yet in my country, America, things are even worse. If you're among the sick little people here, you might very well be left to die on the sidewalk for all the government cares.
Hi Snowbrush,
DeleteMy friend, thank you for your concern. Yet, I remain resilient and indeed, defiant. Those who attempt to destroy our rights to a peaceful life, shall never win.
In Britain, we have universal healthcare and we look in horror at what transpires in America. Yes, as you know, America, a wonderful place to live, unless you are sick and you are poor. Sadly, we are finding an erosion in our rights in Britain. And yes, all 'little people' of the world are paying for the despicable acts of the inhumane idiots who caused such a crisis. These governments are now hitting the middle classes and that was a big mistake.
And yes, as long as the Royal family is happy, I shall be singing and dancing with joy. Or maybe not. Thank you for a very thoughtful comment.
With respect, Gary
Hi Gary. I was so sorry to return from Australia and read of your situation. You receive an incredible amount of support through this Blog; I am sure it must help.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you and hoping the clouds will pass by soon. All things must pass.
Click here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’
Hi bazza,
DeleteMy friend, thank you for your concern. And yes, your support and the support of so many, is of much comfort. I am truly grateful.
The clouds are passing and the rainbow is getting more colourful. Welcome back from Australia.
Kind wishes, Gary
"as long as the Royal family is happy, I shall be singing and dancing with joy."
ReplyDeleteYippee! I feel the same way about America's royalty. So what if poor children are going without? All that really matters is that our filthy rich 88 year old former president (Bush Senior) is getting the best medical care America can offer for his cough--and at taxpayer expense too.
Hey Snowbrush,
DeleteOh yeah, your 'Royal family'. Isn't it amazing the similarities where the beleaguered taxpayer forks out to make sure those who can afford the best treatment don't have to worry about such things. I heard that America just 'lurves' our lil' ol' Royal family.
Liking your style, my friend and you write brilliantly on your thought provoking site.
Peace and some sort of hope, your way, Gary
I've been away for a few days in the mountains of western North Carolina and haven't been reading blogs. I'm back!
ReplyDeleteI hope you will take this in the best possible way (because I mean it that way): When everything seems black and grey, even a mood indigo offers hope that things will grow brighter.
Hi rhymeswithplague,
DeleteI hope there was a parade in your honour, (honor), sorry spell check, upon your return :)
I always embrace a positive perspective and even the black and grey offered the possibility of a forthcoming alternative.
In vibrant hope, your way, Gary, somewhere over the rainbow.....