Greetings good people-After my last blog, which ofcourse should not have been read for the following reasons. Nah...Stop it!
Life is about priorities. So many times I put my own issues, that needed to be addressed, firmly into the background of 'to do' lists. Heck, I wanted to be active, I wanted to be a part of something, something special. So I have started to achieve this. It has been most empowering to get involved with causes I feel passionate about. "Must not let anyone down" I thought. My physical symptoms would magically disappear tomorrow. Right?
Your car's engine is making strange noises, you suspect something is wrong. So to pretend their is no problem, you turn up the volume on the stereo. No more puzzling engine noises, situation solved? Or is the problem only going to get worse? Well now, I have finally realised that I must turn down my 'inner-stereo' and do something about my own 'engine problems'. It is time to get 'a round tuit'.
I have been to my G.P. on numerous occasions over the last couple of years. I was in physical pain every time I went to see him. Yet I neglected to mention my physical concerns. No, I preferred talking about my medication. Should I stay on it? Should I change it? Look Doc, see how well I am doing challenging my negative environment.
Well, enough is enough. The pain has not subsided, it is constant and I am kinda' scared. I have tried to concentrate on my activities but I can't think straight. These are vital times for 'Mind Bloggling' and I want to do my bit to help. Yet during the busy times lately, I have not been able to give this fine Organisation my total commitment. My concentration as a Coordinator at Changes meetings has also suffered and I hope that the good people who know me will understand.
The 'ghosts' of a self-inflicted past are starting to haunt me. I have not consumed alcohol for over nine years. However, some of the symptoms I experienced in hospital have resurfaced. Compounded with the vulnerable state of my physical being, other ailments have also started. I will stay calm, for I am optimistic. Now I'm getting 'a round tuit', I'm confident that there will be a positive way forward.
So if I seemed somewhat aloof, somewhat distant recently, I am very sorry. Please understand that I do care very much about others. I want to continue to be involved with these worthy causes. I just need to know what is happening to me and what can be done about it. So now I am going to the doctors, I will reveal the truth. At last, no more excuses, I am getting ' a round tuit'.
I hope, no matter what it is in your life, that you also, will get 'a round tuit'.
Warm wishes Klahanie.
hya,
ReplyDelete1st let me say it took me a wee while to work out what it was 'a round tuit' and if ya think about it that may actualy say a whole lot about me and my perspective of things!?
i must admit reading your blog has made me think a wee bit, i use the stereo litterally and metaphorically 'to distract me from myself'and what i should be doin sometimes. but having said, like u, i am beginning to start makin changes for the better in so much as thinkin about myself and what choices i need to make for myself rather than free falling from one thing to another, it was a strategy that worked well at one time, when far too many things were goin on that i had no control over so denial and distraction served me well. however a concious aim to have to think this way, over time has since become an automatic state of existence. i don't want to exist any more... i want to live and i'm psycing myself up for the fight!
fingers x'd ya engine just needs a few spark plugs ay!?
purkul
x
You Mr. Klahanie, need to listen to that particular inner engine and give what ever needs servicing a service. Then you can tick it off your list of stuff to do! You gota look after your physical self my dear friend as much as you possibly can. Do it for yourself. You're worth it!
ReplyDeleteHi Klahanie,
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right in what you say, regarding getting 'a round tuit'
Only you could have described it in such a humourous way! (You have a wonderful way of injecting a little humour into your posts...even when writing on serious topics or issues such as your own precious health)
You take very good care of yourself from now on Klahanie....my very best wishes to you. D x
It greatly distresses me to think of you in any pain or distress my friend as you have been so good to me in my 'hours of need'. I will be keeping you in my thoughts through this scary time mate and sending you all the positive vibes i can muster! There are many people who think alot of you, and all the hard work and dedication to the worthy causes you champion do not go unnoticed! If you ever want to talk about serious shit without the humour and bravado as a cover, i'm always here for you. We all use our 'inner stereo' to block unpleseant thoughts and feelings from our conciousness, but as you have said, sometimes those noises under the hood are an 'early warning system' to get our attention and help us sort something out before it gets out of hand! Take care my friend, Simon :)
ReplyDeleteHello Klahanie, You must take care of your health. It is most important, discuss with your docttor what your symptoms are and you could get help. Get round tuit, you are a really nice bloke and you deserve happiness. All the best, heres hoping you can make changes and live life to the full. I appreciate the voluntary work you do as I am sure others do. Take care.
ReplyDeleteSorry to be late - first off please get the physical stuff attended to - the idea of you being in pain is difficult for me to stomach.
ReplyDeleteYou do more of value for other people than just about anyone I can think of. I urge you to take care of you, so that the clear bright light of your personality continues to help your many friends here and elsewhere see our lives a little more clearly. If you fancy a chat give me a ring. Ich says hello. Tone xxx
Hi dudes and dudettes-
ReplyDeleteI want to thank you all (y'all?) for your kind, supportive comments. It means a great lot to me to know that you good folks are thinking about me.
Long may the positive,empathetic ethos of our Mind Bloggling community continue.
I'm am truly touched by this sincerity. Warm wishes to everyone. Klahanie.