Blogger Interview With My Alleged Human....

Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

This is the fastest pawst I ever pawsted.  I've noted that my human dad, Gary, has been interviewed over at the adorable human, Chrys Fey's, must read blog site.  I wonder what he's been rambling and ranting on about?  Please, if you haven't already visited her site, be gentle with any comment you leave.

Thanks and here is the link to Chrys' site :

Blogger Interview with Penny's Alleged Human, Gary aka "klahanie"


Pawsitive wishes,

Penny!

The Alphabark Challenge, 2016! And Then Some!

Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  I do understand that you've been waiting and waiting and waiting, to the point of uncontrollable frenzy.  Yes, that's correct, you've be dreaming of that alternate challenge to that A to Z thingy. Then again, maybe you got so mired in the alphabet, that everything you see and do now relates to the alphabet.  You might need an alphabet detox!

I do realise that I was going to put up this pawsting on May 1.  The situation is such that my human, Gary, being so dog-tired, has needed my constant attention.  I do worry about my human dad.  I was going to pawblish something brand new.  Instead, I'm going to cheat because I need to keep looking after Gary.  So here goes with a past pawst and then some! 

"A" if for "Arf!"

I'm having a laugh

"B" if for "Bark"

Sometimes I snark

"C" is for "Chihuahua"

Hello, how are ya? 

"D" is for "Dog"

A pawblished blog

"E" is for "eekPawblishing"

If that's your thing

"F" is for "Feline"

Having a whine

"G" is for "Gary"

How very scary

"H" is for "Howl"

Without a scowl

"I" is for "Insect"

A bug I detect

"J" is for "Jack Russell"

The dogs that hustle

"K" is for "Klahanie"

Pawmoting I see

"L" is for "Loon"

A Canadian tune

"M" is for "Metrosexual"

Such a transport ball 

On all things Metro

Didn't you know.

"N" is for "Noodles"

Oodles of noodles

You stick them in water

Just like you ought ta

And what have you got

One silly noodle stuck to the pot

"O" is for "Ogopogo"

Way to go, go, go

Canadian lake creature

Is what we feature

Ogopogo can kick Nessie's rear

Take that, you Loch Ness dear

"P" is for "Poodle"

Which rhymes with noodle

Doggy jumps through hoops

And you scoop its poops

"Q" is for "Query"

Hi pawblisher, deary

"R" is for "Rivet"

Don't you forget

The noise of a frog

Over there on a log

There you go

I toad you so

"S" is for "Sasquatch"

Go have a watch

Don't say, "Big Foot"

Or you might be kaput

"T" is for "Toadstool"

How very cool

No, not that load

Not a stool from a toad

"U" is for "Unread"

Start over, instead

"V" is for "Vacuum" 

Instead of a broom

Knowing my luck

My vacuum wont suck

"W" is for "Weird"

Oh, how they cheered

For the Alphabark

That's having a lark

Not lark as in bird

Haven't you heard

"X" is for "Xerox"

Photocopy your cocks

Place your butt on the screen

How very obscene

"Y" is for "Y am I doing this?"

Am I taking the p**s?

Look below

And you will know

"Z" is for "Zest"

My good-natured jest

I did this with Zeal

How do you feel? 

The above, a recap

That makes you clap.

Sadly, my friend

We've come to the end

That sums it up
From this lovable pup
Just one last thing
I do bring.

 Not quite the end

My human friend

If you did the alphabet

Without regret

Well done to you

This be true

Yes, the A to Zed

Something I dread

Or pawhaps the A to Zee

If you're a Yankee

Seriously though

What do you know

I nearly pawmoted

Duly noted

The alternative to the alphabark

Oh no, it's back to snark! 

Here you go

To end the show

A rufflections pawst

From your lovable host!

THE ALPHABARK CHALLENGE, 2016!

Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  If you, pawchance, are visiting this site because you were eagerly anticipating my alternative to that other challenge that relates to the alphabet with 26 letters, I convey my humble apawlogies.

I got to thinking that it would be unfair to compete with the A to Z Challenge.  This is due to the obvious fact that you would be so in paw, um, awe of me.  Indeed, my human friend, if you're doing that alphabet thingy, my satirical pawsts would put you in an hypnotic trance.  A trance so pawfound that you'd forget all about the A to Z.

So, being such a thoughtful dog, I've decided my rebellious, bordering on cynically, snarky challenge, shall commence on May 1, 2016.  Besides, I'm rather busy looking after my human dad, Gary.  If only I could somehow snap him out of his chronic fatigue.

Yes, make a note in your calendar,  Circle May 1, 2016.  Heck, it might even take your mind off all those reflection pawsts about reflection pawsts about reflecting about the A to Z Challenge, 2016. Yes, those reflection pawsts that go on and on and on...so much so, that you suddenly realise it's April Fool's Day, 2017, just in time to start all over again.....

Yep, the comment section is switched off.  If you're doing the A to Z, I sort of wish you all the beast, um, all the best.....

Blogger Burnout.

Oh yeah, no doubt you've been noticing my lack of blogging.  It's a combination of things as to why my eagerly anticipated posts have been so sporadic over the last year.  I'm still contending with this ridiculous chronic fatigue.  I'm also experiencing blogger burnout where, even though I've got all sorts of crap I could write, I just can't be bothered.

If I see another blog hop, blog fest, or any mention of that dreaded alphabet thing, I might just find the energy to scream real loud.  Of course, I scream real loud and freak out all my neighbours.  So, I shall scream, real loud, in my head.

I do understand that you might be into all those blog hippety hoppety things.  You might say that you enjoy the interaction and the sense of community.  That's fine and I respect that.  It's just not my scene.  Never has been, despite my rather ironic take which does good natured satirising of all things, hippety hoppety.

I've been so disillusioned with blogging that I didn't even bother to let you know that as of February 21, 2016, this rather obscure blog reached its ninth anniversary.  Yep, nine years of somehow keeping this blog going.

Now, for no reason, whatsoever, I shall type away some random, bordering on inane ramblings. Hopefully, such ramblings will help shake the blogger cobwebs.

I remember when I moved to England.  I went and checked out the local butchers shop.  The sign boasted that they were, "Family Butchers."  This conjured up a rather gruesome scene in my mind. Here's "Makends Meat", operated by Mr. and Mrs. Makends, family butchers!

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar, is a very small, short dog.  Being a very small, short dog, there are times that she seems to vanish within the home. I go to look for her.  "Penny, Penny, where are you?"  Trip...stumble, fall over said dog who is loitering around my ankles.  The number of times I've stumbled over the dog.  Sometimes, I wonder if she deliberately trips me up.

Ah, there she is. Up on the sofa staring at the horse.  At least she can't trip me up when she's on the sofa.

"Oops, where did she go?"  Trip...stumble, fall over said dog who is loitering around my ankles......

Two Dog Night!

I made mention of the following story on everybody's favourite social "notworking" site.  Which means, if you're a friend of mine on that notworking site, bear with me as I repeat myself.  When I state, "repeat myself", it's nothing to do with belching.

It was approximately two in the morning on Tuesday.  Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar had given me a hint that nature was calling her name, loud and clear.  This meant going down three flights of stairs to get outside.

Off we went for a gentle, quiet stroll.  A gentle, quiet stroll that was rudely and abruptly interrupted. Out of the corner of my right eye, I noticed a very fast, very low moving object heading straight towards Penny.  I realised, to my horror, that it was Amy, the Jack Russell dog from hell!  Amy, a dog minus a lead and a collar.

Off in the distance, standing outside the apartment building, was the lady that Amy lives with.  What I found baffling was that the lady didn't even attempt to come get her dog.

Before the situation got out of hand, or out of paw, I suddenly found myself tucking Amy under my left arm and Penny under my right arm.  This made for quite the visual as I watched two dogs having a staring down contest.   I calmly walked back to the apartment building.  Somewhat surprisingly, Amy became very relaxed.  Penny was her usual, chilled-out self.  Penny told me later that she thought Amy was just an over exuberant, starstruck fan.

As for the human in question, this was the same human who had caused me so much grief previously when she accused me of unfounded, anti-social behaviour.

She thanked me for bringing her dog to her.   She also told me that she had been given six weeks notice to vacate the premises.  Something about anti-social behaviour.

I'm really struggling here, my friend.  I'm trying to be proactive whilst still battling with chronic fatigue.  Comments are switched off as I try to sort of catch up with commenting on other blogs.

Oh great!  It's gone two in the morning and Penny is indicating that nature is calling her, yet again, loud and clear....

*Let's go, my human dad.  Time to take you for a walk!* 

Panic At The Postal Service.

Over the next few days, there will be traffic chaos on the streets of Leek, Staffordshire, England.  *Why?*  Yes, you might be thinking that.

Over the next few days, leading up to February 14th, aka St. Valentine's Day, convoys of postal trucks come into the Leek from all directions.  Destination, my place.  Apologies to you if you happen to live in Leek.  For once, the traffic chaos is not being caused by roadworks.  Yes, the roadworks that never seem to have anybody working on them.

Here are a few of the postal trucks heading towards my place. 

Postal truck, after postal truck, after postal truck, arrives at my place.  Sack load, after sack load, after sack load of Valentine's Day cards are ceremoniously dumped into the hallway, just inside my front door.

My home becomes so full of Valentine's Day cards that there's barely room to swing a cat, not like I would actually swing a cat.  

The mountain of mail heading to my place is so huge that even Postman Pat and his black and white cat, get involved.

In the spirit of romance, I thought I'd suggest a Valentine's Day money saving tip.  The day before Valentine's Day, if you have a partner, have a massive argument with your partner.  The day after Valentine's Day, make up with your partner and offer them the Valentine's Day gifts you purchased at a drastically reduced price.  In my case, not having a partner, I will have a massive argument with myself.  Then treat myself to drastically reduced Valentine's Day gifts on February 15th.  You're welcome and who said romance was dead!

Okay, just like last Valentine's Day and the one before that and that and that, the Valentine's Day cards are actually all for Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar.  Here's her card she wants to share with you.  Penny, the epitome of love, no matter the day. 

Have a good one! 

A Snore And A Bark Equals Snark!

Hi there, yes it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!  I've noticed that my human dad, Gary, has done a couple of pawsts where he's used his pawfile updates from a certain social notworking site.  I know of this site and we, within the animal world, call it, "Farcebark"!

I've reached the same conclusion as some of the humans who bothered to comment on his last two pawsts.  He is indeed, a silly, silly man!

Arf and he thinks he's clever making fun of song lyrics.  Of course, I would never do such a thing. Which means, I would never question the following song by some human with the rather tasty name of "Meat Loaf"!

The song, not in question is, "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" Here is a bit of the lyrics from that song. "Anything for love.  Oh I would do anything for love.  I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.  No, I won't do that..." 

This means I will not make mention that Meat Loaf actually wouldn't do anything for love.

Now for some photos of me, yes me, shy, lovable Penny! 

"No, human, you cannot put away this nice, warm laundry!" 

Ah, so that A to Z Challenge is going ahead, yet again, on April 1, April Fool's Day, 2016.  After some deliberating with a couple of German shepherds, as in the breed of dog and a rather crazy "Shitzu", oops, "Shih  Tzu", I'm now considering doing my alternative challenge to the A to Z.  "THE ALPHABARK CHALLENGE, 2016!"

In the spirit of sharing, if for some bizarre reason, you happen to be obsessed with the alphabet with 26 letters and you haven't signed up, here's their link,

A TO Z CHALLENGE SIGN-UP/ LIST (2016)

I've been informed that some humans like a bit of snark.  Of course, "snark" is a combination of a snore and a bark.  A snore and a bark equals snark!

Now for yet another well earned doggy nap.  Just a snore without the bark.............