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Friday, 22 January 2016

Social "Notworking" Site.

Yeah, I know, where has that must-read blogger, Gary, been lately?  Yes, you might possibly be thinking that.  It's been two weeks since my last, must-read post.  I've been trying for the last two weeks to continue with the dream that I made mention in that other post from two weeks ago.  Alas, no luck.

And for no apparent reason, I'll share with you some more of my profile updates on everybody's favourite social "notworking" site.  Once again, if you've already seen the following stuff on that social notworking site, you may well be one of my friends on that social notworking site. 

The following lyrics are courtesy of "Three Dog Night", an American band popular in the late sixties and early seventies.  I should add that the following lyrics might just have two spelling mistakes.  Oh come now!

"Mama told me not to cum
Mama told me not to cum
That ain't the way to have fun, son
That ain't the way to have fun, son."

Mama! Are you crazy?! 

"When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard.
When you're in love with a beautiful woman, you know it's hard."

Ahem, Dr. Hook, way too much information!!!!!

For sale, a Marcel Marceau CD.  With hits such as, "The Sound of Silence" and "Silence is Golden."
Any reasonable offer accepted....

We made love in a barn.  We fell in love with the barn.  We bought the barn.  We started living in the barn.  Ever since, we've been in a stable relationship.  I now wait for the comments about "roll in the hay" and the various farm animal innuendos....
The photo above displays a handy device called a masticating machine.  Just think, you can use this handy device to whip your banana, mess with your nuts and froth up your cream.
And then I saw her face.  Now I'm a retriever.  Arf! 
Anybody know what happened to this 1970's porn star? 
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80 comments:

  1. Tigermouse22 January 2016 at 23:37

    Very humourous post Gary, and I particularly like the photo of the dog.

    The Three Dog Night song wa one of my favourites back then, though I never really understood all the words - well, I was quite young and innocent then! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:14

      Hi Eunice,

      I appreciate that. Thank you. Ah yes, the retriever who ended up taking the "Last Train to Barksville." :)

      Ah yes, Three Blog, um, Three Dog Night. I remember that Jeremiah was a bullfrog! Yes, I remember being almost that innocent :)

      Enjoy your Sunday, Eunice.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  2. Pat Hatt22 January 2016 at 23:39

    Maybe the porn star went into that barn. I guess after that rolling it was time to hit the hay. Can they make hay while the sun shines and hit the broad side of the barn?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:17

      Ah, Pat in the Hatt,

      The porn star got "baled" out of a haystack, Jack. He then proceeded to grab his banjo for all the barn to see.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  3. PT Dilloway22 January 2016 at 23:51

    I guess I always thought that 3 Dog Night song meant going somewhere you shouldn't be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:18

      Hi Pat,

      When I was somewhat younger, I thought the same thing.

      Thank you, Pat.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  4. Alex J. Cavanaugh23 January 2016 at 00:21

    That's almost more sexual innuendo than I can handle on a Friday night.
    And they worry about today's music lyrics...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:21

      Hi Alex,

      Indeed and who could forget, "Yummy, yummy, yummy
      I got love in my tummy..."

      Thanks, Alex.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  5. JoJo23 January 2016 at 01:13

    LOL!!!!!! I love 3 dog night too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:22

      Hi JoJo,

      Aha and nothing like a bit of Three Dog Night!

      Thank you, JoJo.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  6. Anonymous23 January 2016 at 03:33

    A stable relationship....snort.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:23

      Hi Delores,

      With a barnstorming frolic.

      Thank you, Delores.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  7. Janie Junebug23 January 2016 at 05:44

    HA! Mama told me not to . . . I can't write it. Sometimes I'm a prude. You are such a nice person.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:24

      Hi Janie,

      What? Sometimes you're a prude? I would never of guessed that! Me, a nice person? Don't tell anybody :)

      Thanks, Janie.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  8. Hilary Melton-Butcher23 January 2016 at 08:43

    Hi Gary - two weeks of practising?! Difficile to comprehend .. but it is good to see you - even if you bring your forlorn past with you - no wonder you left Vancouver! Cheers and it's now getting towards Spring ... dark days don't help. Take care and with thoughts - Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:28

      Hi Hilary,

      Practice, I had hoped, would make it perfect. Oh well, never got to continue the dream. Nice to see you used a French word, Hilary. I shall be making a triumphant return to Vancouver. The parade in my honour is very well organised.

      Soon be spring and we shall spring into action. Thank you, Hilary. Stay warm and enjoy your Sunday.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  9. River23 January 2016 at 08:52

    Gary, is that you? (The 1970s porn star)
    (*~*)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:30

      Hi River,

      Yes, that's me at 21 years old. I was heading out to be the best man at a wedding. Which makes me wonder, if I'm the best man, why did she marry him!

      Thank you, River.

      Gary :)

      Delete
    2. Truedessa23 January 2016 at 23:36

      haha

      Delete
    3. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:39

      Hey True!
      How are you? :)

      Delete
  10. Teresa Ashby23 January 2016 at 10:25

    Choked on my coffee reading this! Thanks for the laughs, Gary :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:31

      Hi Teresa,

      I hope it was coffee and not Bisto gravy! :) Pleased this could make you laugh, Teresa. Thanks.

      Gary :) xx

      Delete
  11. bazza23 January 2016 at 11:43

    Did Marcel Marceau record "What'd I say?" Actually Gary I haven't posted anything for over a month myself but I will soon! Enjoy your weekend.
    CLICK HERE for Bazza’s fabulous Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:33

      Hi Barry,

      Yes, Marcel Marceau did record that record. Oh, do you have a blog? LOL

      Have a very nice Sunday, Bazza, me old mucker!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  12. DMS23 January 2016 at 14:52

    First blog post I am reading today. Definitely missed your witty comments over the past two weeks. Thanks for the laughs!
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:40

      Hi Jess,

      I'm honoured my blog was the first blog you read that day. Glad the two week wait was sort of worth it! :)

      Have a lovely Sunday.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  13. Ann Bennett23 January 2016 at 15:54

    Just dropping by with a hi. No comment on jokes, they were funny though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:42

      Hi Ann,

      Thanks for dropping in and saying hi. Glad you thought my sort of jokes were funny.

      Have a nice Sunday, Ann.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  14. Debra She Who Seeks23 January 2016 at 16:32

    "If it weren't for the gutter, my brain would be homeless." I enjoy a good roll in the gutter myself! Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:45

      Hi Debra,

      Okay, go roll in the gutter and watch out for those gutter balls. Thanks, eh!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  15. L. Diane Wolfe23 January 2016 at 16:41

    A masticating machine? I've never heard of such a thing. I don't think I want it frothing anything of mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:47

      Hi Diane,

      You might want to attend a masticating machine workshop. They're all the rage. A froth might be fun.

      Thank you, Diane.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  16. Annalisa Crawford23 January 2016 at 19:04

    Read them before, giggled again :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:50

      Hi Annalisa,

      Thanks for the double giggle. Have a nice Sunday, you radio star!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  17. Rob Z Tobor23 January 2016 at 20:08

    Is that 1970's Porn Star standing next to Big Ben . . .

    Take care Mr G

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:51

      Hi Rob,

      LOL, nice one, dude! Well, ring my chimes, you would be correct. Big Bang Ben.

      Have a good Sunday, good sir.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  18. Truedessa23 January 2016 at 23:39

    hmm - okay that song just took on a whole new meaning...I think I am speechless...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie23 January 2016 at 23:53

      Hey Truedessa,

      You speechless? Sounds like the song lyrics to a Marcel Marceau tune :)

      Thank you and have a lovely Sunday, Truedessa.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  19. Cat and DOG Chat With Caren24 January 2016 at 00:26

    omc you kill me!!!!!!! Love that photo of you! You would have been on my "must date" list in the 70s for sure! catchatwithcarenandcody

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie24 January 2016 at 00:52

      Hey Caren,

      "omc"? oh my cod? oh my cat? :) Oh yeah, you would of been dating the Charles Bronson lookalike dude! :)

      Thank you, Caren.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  20. Unknown24 January 2016 at 00:58

    Hahaha! Those are so funny! (Except the "masticating" machine. I'm not sure I want anyone masticating my food but me. lol) Have a great weekend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie24 January 2016 at 01:07

      Hi Lexa,

      Thank you! Mastication for the nation! No? Have fun masticating your food, Lexa! :) A wonderful Sunday for you, I hope.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  21. David24 January 2016 at 05:46

    Hi Gary, you hairy Charles Bronson-a-like dude (and I don't mean the one in prison!). You had me in stitches, Gare, and not just after you beat me up that time, but with your very funny one, and occasionally more than one, liners. Ever heard the one about the moustachioed '70s porn star who went on to have an even more illustrious internet career in blogland? Or was that his dog, Penny? Anyway, Gary, hope all's well at your end, so to speak, and if you could, pop on over to my blog, "A Day in the Life", and leave me a comment. Despite gaining a follower, I seem to have had precisely no comments for my last post, so I'd be forever grateful.
    Very Best Wishes to you and yours,
    David.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:37

      Hi David,

      Ah yes indeed, not the dude in the prison! The comedy knitting workshop had you in stitches! Yes, you were fit to be tied, you hairy beast and wordsmith! Penny was in some "pawno" flick, way back when.

      My end is just fine, thank you. In fact, my end when over to your end of the blogging world and delighted your noble self with one of my comments. Of course, a comment that did not do your thoughtful post on mental health, justice.

      As I stated in my comment, the weird and wacky world of blogging will not notice your important posts unless you proceed to be more active within such wondrous world of interaction, laced with, dare I say, a bit of cynicism.

      All the beast, um, all the best, David.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  22. Vidya Sury24 January 2016 at 07:32

    I love those innuendos because double-edged swords are the best. Eh...what did I just say? You know what? I think just about anything in life can be double entendre-d.

    There was a short phase several eons ago when I used to have Dr.Hook's songs playing in a loop.. but my favorites were Sylvie's Mother and Sharing the night together. Very smooth.

    There is not a day I don't think of you now, as the good ol' A-Z approaches, and I remember your no-hard-feelings about it.

    By the way, today is National Peanut Butter Day apparently and yes, I was just messing with some nuts!

    Hugs! Vidya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie26 January 2016 at 00:19

      Hi Vidya,

      Ah yes, an innuendo, a double entendre. She asked me for an example of a double entendre, so, I gave her one! :)

      You gotta' watch out for Sylvia's mother. She did appear on The Cover of the Rolling Stone...

      Thanks for thinking about me and my actual dread of that alphabet farce. Of course, in my own way, I end up promoting the A to Z with my satirical alternatives. Yet, do they promote me at the A to Z? Ahem, methinks not! :)

      Aha, I shall go rather pedantic, peanuts aint nuts, but are beans, of course. Messing with your beans, eh! I like me some real smooth peanut butter :)

      Thank you, Vidya.

      Hugs, your way,

      Gary

      Delete
  23. Suzanne Furness24 January 2016 at 15:52

    You cheeky thing Gary! I'm always getting the words to songs muddled up. Thanks for the giggle on this Sunday afternoon.
    Best wishes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:49

      Hi Susanne,

      Ah yes, my cheeks! Muddled up lyrics are loads of fun. Happy giggles and have a nice week, Suzanne.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  24. Joylene Nowell Butler24 January 2016 at 18:20

    See, learned something new about you. Didn't know you were a proud star. Knew you were a star, just not proud. Not that you shouldn't be proud. You should. Look how well Penny turned out. Okay, maybe I should switch that around and should be telling Penny, "Good job on raising Gary." ???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joylene Nowell Butler24 January 2016 at 18:21

      After all, it is Penny who's the Internet superstar.

      Delete
    2. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:40

      Hey Joylene,

      Yes, eh, I was a 70's proud star. Surely you remember that one particular movie where you um, co-starred! Penny has done a wonderful job of keeping my outrageous ego under control. Yep, the amazing influence of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

      Take care, eh.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  25. My Inner Chick24 January 2016 at 19:24

    Haaaa.
    You do look like a porn star Charles Bronson!!! WOW.
    Hope you and Penny r well, sweets. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 22:47

      Hi Kim,

      Actually, Charles Bronson tried to look like me! LOL Yep, I looked like something out of a 1970's porn movie. Not like I've actually watched such a thing!

      Penny is pawesome and I'm fine, thank you. Hope life is treating you well in Minnesota!

      Gary :) xx

      Delete
  26. nashvillecats225 January 2016 at 09:53

    Most cheerful post Gary, made my day reading it.
    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 22:45

      Hi Yvonne,

      Thank you and I do hope you continue to feel better after having that nasty cold. Stay warm!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  27. Sherry Ellis25 January 2016 at 14:57

    If I ever hear those songs again, I'm not going to be able to get your misspellings out of my head!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 22:44

      Hi Sherry,

      How cum, um, how come, I wonder! :) Take care, Sherry.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  28. cleemckenzie25 January 2016 at 17:59

    Hay there! I've stopped by to see if you're not working. You're not.

    If only I could write lyrics like Three Dog Night. She sighs and looks wistfully out her window on the world.

    I'd love to buy the Marcel Marceau CD, but I only have a phonograph and I'm out of needles. Do you have phonograph needles by any chance?

    Police say Porn Star sightings are on the rise in my neighborhood. I'll put on my shoes and go see what I can find. Back later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:47

      Hay Lee,

      I aint working and I'm continuing to work at not working.

      You could write lyrics like, "Three Blog Night"! Looking out the window can be a bit of a pane.

      I have knitting needles, if that helps.

      If you see a strange looking moustache, note the spelling of "moustache", wearing a Tuxedo, a bow tie and frilly shirt, immediately phone the local sheriff, y'all....

      Gary :)

      Delete
    2. cleemckenzie27 January 2016 at 01:50

      I'm taking a page from your book on Not Working. I think you're onto something. Thanks for the offer of knitting needles, but I'll pass. I'd just stick those pointy ends into myself and make a mess. Called the sheriff. He says, "No way is he tackling anyone with a frilly skirt and a mustache--note that spelling.

      Delete
    3. klahanie27 January 2016 at 02:13

      Lee, part two,

      If you took a page from my book, my book would have zero pages. Why am I suddenly thinking about Voodoo dolls....

      A frilly "skirt"! What?! Mustache! Apologies to my English, English spellcheck!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  29. Anonymous25 January 2016 at 23:33

    That masticating machine is sexier than my juicer. It's got a lot going on. Fun innuendos here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:43

      Hi Medeia,

      Makes you want to buy a masticating machine and masticate to your heart's content! :) Nothing like an innuendo or two, or three...

      Gary :)

      Delete
  30. Jemi Fraser25 January 2016 at 23:35

    So many songs I never understood the lyrics at the time. Makes me laugh!
    Take care, eh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie25 January 2016 at 23:41

      Hi Jemi,

      Ah yes, the lyrics, only distorted within my weird mind, I guess :) Laugh away and shall we let Dr. Hook, off the hook....

      Take off, eh!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  31. MunirGhiasuddin26 January 2016 at 02:18

    I don't know much about music in England or in America except the Beatles, The Bee- Gees, Sting and may be a few more.
    Hope that all is well with you and Penny.

    ReplyDelete
  32. MunirGhiasuddin26 January 2016 at 02:19

    PS I hope that all is well with your son.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie26 January 2016 at 22:45

      Hi Munir,

      Probably best you don't know much about music from England or America. All is well with all three of us, thank you.

      Wishing you a peaceful day, my kind friend.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  33. Misha Gerrick26 January 2016 at 07:33

    Tee hee! Quite a few good ones there. Hope you're doing well. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie26 January 2016 at 23:30

      Hi Misha,

      Thank you. I appreciate that. Not doing too bad, thanks. Hope all is well with you, Misha.

      Gary :)

      Delete
  34. Ms. CrankyPants26 January 2016 at 13:47

    I never knew the lyrics were spelled THAT way. I did have (embarrassingly) the 45 of Quiet Riot's "C*m on Feel the Noize," but I thought (way back in 8th grade) that they were just messing w/ the spelling of the words. I was mighty innocent then! I also had the 45 of "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I didn't know what he was singing about, I just liked the song. Damn musicians with their depraved lyrics! No WONDER our world is going to hell in a handbasket!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie26 January 2016 at 23:35

      Hey Ms. CrankyPants,

      The lyrics are spelled that way in my warped head! :) Yes, you were mighty innocent, way back then. Then, there was, "Yummy, yummy, yummy
      I got love in my tummy..." Hmmm....I wonder what that meant!

      Relax and enjoy the ride in a handbasket!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  35. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com27 January 2016 at 06:42

    That 1970s porn star was found guilty of public mastication, thrown into solitary confinement, wherein he continued to masticate and masticate some more.

    Hi, Gary. Be well and be good to yourself. Silly, silly man!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie28 January 2016 at 01:39

      Hey Robyn!

      Yes and you tied up the loose ends rather nicely. A nice summary that included him masticating to those immortal words,"Mama told me not to cum.."

      I shall be real good to myself. "Silly, silly man!" states the lady who likes deep-fried Oreos, wonders about deep-fried Mars bars and contemplates the concept of deep-fried Uranus bars! Aha!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  36. CraveCute27 January 2016 at 17:22

    I KNEW that was a picture of you!! Haha! We've all had our moments! I'm about the same age so all these songs are bringing back some funny and horrible memories! Almost too much for this early in the morning... You are a silly man, and thank your for that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie28 January 2016 at 01:41

      Hi Diane,

      Of course you knew that was a picture of me. Do you still have the poster of me? Those songs make me shudder at the best of times. Thank you for realising I'm a silly man. I appreciate that you appreciate that!

      Gary :)

      Delete
  37. Anonymous31 January 2016 at 09:53

    Gary, your post reminds me of Peter Kaye's misheard song lyrics ;O) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ukn2YT5jeM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. klahanie31 January 2016 at 20:22

      Hi human, Madeleine,

      Gary is having a nap. Thus, you get this reply from the amazing Jack Russell dog. I think my human's post is something that Peter Kaye would love to use :) Of course, the lyrics mentioned in this pawst were not misheard, but interpreted in a rather cheeky way.

      Thank you, my lovely human friend.

      Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses,

      Penny xx

      Delete
  38. Barbara4 February 2016 at 15:37

    Thanks for the laughs Gary - you naughty, naughty boy! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  39. klahanie5 February 2016 at 01:01

    Hi human, Barbara,

    Naughty, naughty Gary is sleeping. I do know, however, that he will be very pleased this could make you laugh.

    Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses,

    Penny xx

    ReplyDelete

I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.