Evidently, a "selfie" is not a euphemism for masturbation.
There was this snail who didn't like being called a snail. So the snail got the letter "S" painted on each side of its automobile. From then on when the snail was driving about, onlookers would yell, "Look at that S car go!"
Let's get ready to CRUMBLE!!!
The locals tell me they are getting sick and tired of the American influence in the UK, as they go out and line dance!!!
Miami Vice-Grips.
Do tornado chasers have whirlwind romances?
Do tornado chasers have whirlwind romances?
Today's writer acronym alert! "WTF", which means, "Writers Trying Fiction." Further writer acronym alerts shall discuss the meaning of, "MG", "YA" and the writer's favourite, "WIP".
I watched some of the games from the Women's World Cup in Canada. Congratulations to the USA team for winning the Final against Japan, I state, through gritted teeth. I do note that the women's version of football aka "soccer", has some ways to go before it becomes the spectacle the men's version is. Not once did I see any of the ladies removing their
tops as part of a goal celebration. Even worse, I didn't see any of the ladies exchanging tops with the opposing players at the end of any of the games.
tops as part of a goal celebration. Even worse, I didn't see any of the ladies exchanging tops with the opposing players at the end of any of the games.
I was watching the ladies' tennis from Wimbledon. There was a lot of noise coming from the lady tennis players. I turned the sound down and switched on the subtitles which looked like this, "Ooooooohhhhhh!".................."Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!" "Ooooooohhhhhh!".... .................."Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!"
I think it would be well neat if the cameras focused on the tennis audience so I could watch their heads sway side to side.
If you're looking for info on, "Ukeleles", in your search engine, type, "uke hunt". Now, go ahead, say, "uke hunt", out loud and note the reaction you get!
No, there was no removal of tops in celebration. Bummer. But women's soccer is at the same level as men's here in the USA. (Both near the bottom.)
ReplyDeleteMiami Vice was great!
Hi Alex,
DeleteI was rather surprised the ladies didn't get into the spirit of soccer and remove their tops. I think soccer might be on the rise in the States.
I wonder if you are still wearing your Miami Vice type clothes.....
Thank you, Alex.
Gary :)
I did watch part of the women's soccer game and it was nice to see the US win..I think I read it was the most watched soccer game in US History...Let's get ready to crumble..hmm..might make for an interesting line in a poem.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you Gary, how are you my dear friend?
ps - Where does that pathway go Gary...my mind always wanders when I look at it..
DeleteHi Truedessa,
DeleteHaving the US women's soccer team win in Vancouver, Canada was not in the um, script :) It was the most watched soccer game in US history. Right there on the Fox Network. Must check out your poetry and check out some humble crumble while I stumble.
Nice to be seen, my kind friend. Not too bad with the exception that some idiot neighbour has given me so grief which I'm going to sort out in the next hour.
The pathway leads to the valley below where there is a farm house and a lake.
Thank you and happy prose, you knows....
Gary :)
Did you know that the French apparently call selfies 'braggies'? Which makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteLove your header. How I would love to wander those paths...
G'day Sue,
DeleteThe French never surprise me :) Watch me braggie!
I'm very pleased you like my header. The paths of adventure and magical mystery.
Thank you, Sue.
Gary :)
Ah, festive locals there, havin' a good time y'all ;) Their attire leaves something to be desired; they might be able to dance better if they were more authentic. Eh, it's the thought that counts, right?
ReplyDeleteThose Cup games were watched here by the sports fanatic. He was yelling at the TV - now I know why. I didn't realize the women hadn't done the shirt-thing. (I don't suppose that's the real reason you were watching, was it?)
Hi Kim,
DeleteYep, those locals acting like pretend Americans. Such irony, methinks. I would like to send the lot of them over there to get authentic line dancing clothes. Still, you're correct, the thought almost counts :)
The sports fanatic was yelling at the TV and mentioned something about "take it off!" Watch the entire game and no exchanging of tops at the end. Where's their spirit? Of course, the reason I watched the games was to appreciate the fine dribbling skills. My dribbling, however, has nothing to do with it! :)
Thank you, Kim and stay strong!
Gary :)
I didn't pay any attention to the World Cup but then I don't have any sports channels anymore so I'm not sure I could have seen it anyway. Which if I can't watch women's tennis I'm definitely not missing anything. They should save all that grunting for the bedroom.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat,
DeleteI suppose you could of watched any sport you wish online. The Tiddly Wink Finals are on very soon. All you need to do is listen to women's tennis on the radio. Tennis, grunting and bedrooms, what a combo.
Thank you, Pat.
Gary :)
I love puns Gary, so you know I got quite a few chuckles from your post (crumble LOL). My wife really got into the soccer match and said she was surprised how many goals were scored. Maybe women's soccer (football) will be a major sport this time next year!
ReplyDeleteHave an amazing night Gary
Hi Maurice,
DeleteLet the pundemonium continue :) Let's get ready to crumble....Soccer is the new football and the women's version was fun to watch. I have been to where the final took place, BC Place in Vancouver, eh :)
And an amazing day to you, good sir.
Gary ;)
Great post Gary, it made me laugh :)
ReplyDeleteI've always known those vice-grips as mole grips, and often wondered what would happen if a mole were actually to be gripped by them.
Hi Eunice,
DeleteThank you and I'm delighted it made you laugh :)
A mole might give out a bit of a mole squeak sound that would be the envy of a lady tennis player :)
Thank you, Eunice.
Gary :)
No, that can't be a real thing. The worst contribution the American people have given to the world, line dancing, should not, CANNOT be an export! God I hate line dancing. By the way, on a happier note, the selfie line made me laugh. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHi Pickleope Von Pickleope,
DeleteRather horribly, line dancing, that American dance for a dunce, is still quite the rage in England. Yes, England, a place that moans about Americanisation. Still, we are going to send import Morris Dancing to America. Jolly good show, you know. Got to hand it to you for liking the selfie joke :)
Thank you, my kind friend.
Gary :)
Sending Morris Dancing to America would be great payback for some of the things they've sent us. Like "The Dukes of Hazzard" and Rap music :0)
DeleteNice one, Anne. Morris Dancers invade every downtown in America. Throw in some Maypole dancers and they wont know what hit them. More like, "The Pukes of Hazzard." Great, now I've got this ghastly visual of Kanye West!
DeleteThanks for the bonus comment, Anne :)
Gary :)
I have tried so hard to like soccer but I just cannot get into it at all, esp. women's. Not a fan of tennis either. But give me some of that apple crumble NOW! YUMMMMM!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi JoJo,
DeleteSoccer aka football, football :) Maybe we could get the women soccer players and tennis players run around covered in apple crumble :)
Thank you, JoJo.
Gary :)
The tennis audience might be even more of a bore. The cat likes his version of wtf better, as it rhymes with duck.
ReplyDeleteAh Pat in the Hatt,
DeleteHow about a tennis audience covered in strawberries and ice cream. What the duck is wrong with your cat? :)
Thank you, Pat and all of that.
Gary :)
You gave me some smiles to start my day.
ReplyDeleteHi Arleen,
DeleteI'm smiling know that this could give you some smiles to start your day. Thank you, Arleen.
Gary :)
This made me smile! I hope you are well, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteHi Martha,
DeleteI'm heartened by that for the intention is have you smile, my friend. I'm doing okay with the occasional setback. Be well and thanks again, Martha.
Gary :)
You're a real Wizard of Words!
ReplyDeleteHey Debra,
DeleteHow's it goin', eh? More like the Warlock of Weirdness.
Thank you, Debra.
Gary :)
S car go is the best.
ReplyDeleteWomen taking off their shirts to entertain the crowd. Sort of the opposite of having an exposition of them playing a game. You men will never learn.No wonder you stay in trouble with chicks in your life. lol
Hi Ann,
DeleteThank you and please, have an S car go ;) I thought that in the spirit of the game that the lady football players would exchange tops at the end of a game. It's a nice, sporting tradition amongst the male football players :) I let you get back to cooking and cleaning, Ann! :)
Thank you, my kind friend.
Gary :)
What a wonderfully random selection!
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne,
DeleteThank you and randomly, random, randoms is probably overwhelming proof I haven't got anything worth writing about.
Thank you, Suzanne.
Gary :)
Women tennis players are so noisy!
ReplyDeleteHi Diane,
Delete"Ooooooohhhhhh!".................."Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!" "Ooooooohhhhhh!".... .................."Eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!" Whatever do you mean? :)
Thank you, Diane.
Gary :)
Thank you for the useful information. I feel taller already. If I grow another 6 inches I'll be at my perfect weight!
ReplyDeleteHi Joylene,
DeleteUseful information are my middle names. How could you get any more perfect. Thank you, you adorable lady, you!
Take it easy, eh and thanks, Joylene.
Gary :)
Hey Gazza :)
ReplyDeleteYou were on a right roll here, mate :)
Although I have to admit, I shook my head at the Wonder of Sir Gazza ruling over the land of non-PC posts :)
PS: I am in Ireland right now, so you get a closer hug from me than is normal :)
Keep rocking it with your big bad self-ie :)
Wahay, it's Sir Mazza! :)
DeleteI'm thinking of opening a bakery.
Non-Personal Computer posts? Aha n'stuff!
Oh my, you are in the same time zone as me. Excellent and what's the craic! Here's a hug over the "Oirish Sea"!
Time to rock my selfie............
Thank you, Mark.
Gary :)
I'm quite impressed with those tennis players. I missed the actual matches because we were on vacation, but I heard about it today.
ReplyDeleteHi Stephanie,
DeleteAnd hearing about the tennis players is about right. Not sure if I'm watching ladies playing tennis or them practising how to sound like a distressed cat :) Hope you had a very nice holiday, Stephanie.
Gary :)
"WTF", which means, "Writers Trying Fiction."
ReplyDeleteREALLY?
I've been using it in a naughty way! LOLLLL
xxxxx
Hi Inner Chick aka Kim,
DeleteI could never, ever, ever believe you would use that in a naughty way. Next post will be on sarcasm! :)
Thank you, my lovely friend.
Gary xxx ;)!
Very amusing, Gary.... Thanks for the laughs..
ReplyDeleteHi Michael,
DeleteI'm pleased you could find my moronic musings amusing, good sir. Thank you and take very good care.
Gary :)
Britain gave America Morris Dancing. But Morris said he did not like America and came home.
ReplyDeleteHope you and Penny are Well Mr G . . . . The Schools start there summer hols soon and the world will be full of small folk running about saying . . . . I'm bored now. . . . roll on Christmas....
I do hope that Mr Osborne has not messed with your finances to much, I am lucky enough to earn so little it has made no difference what so ever. And in three years I get to retire and can throw sticks at small folk running about saying. . . . . I'm bored now. . . .
Hi Rob,
DeleteSo Morris sent his son, Morris Minor, over to America instead.
Penny is just fine, thank you. I'm still working through this idiotic fatigue and apologies to you and so many in regards to my lack of interaction. You do realise that summer holidays in North America are about four weeks longer than the one here. Then again, overall, the kids here may well get more days off in total. Why am I rambling.....
Osborne hasn't impacted me too much, thankfully. My son will do quite well out of this considering he's over 25 years old. Good sir, I thought your retirement wasn't for another 20 years. The way things are going, I might be closer to the truth than I realise.
Thank you, Rob.
Gary :)
Dear God the "selfie" one IMMEDIATELY had me rolling!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Caren,
DeleteI wonder how much fun you had um, rolling :)
Thank you, Caren.
Gary :)
I hope you didn't find out about selfies the hard way. ;-P
ReplyDeleteHi Misha,
DeleteI shall skilfully avoid any innuendo in regards to "hard way"! :)
Thank you, Misha.
Gary :)
Brandi Chastain took off her shirt the last time the American's won. It was a media frenzy and was talked about far longer than it should have been. She was wearing a sports bra underneath and those are more like half tops.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're enjoying summer and that this years heatwave isn't too bad for you.
Hi Anne,
DeleteHow did I miss that article about Brandi? Good grief, I'm slipping :) Now that I know this, in fairness, the guys should perhaps exchange shorts at the end of the game.
The weather here in Leek is not too hot and that makes it more bearable. Hope all is well with you, my kind friend.
Gary :)
I'm going to type WTF more often.
ReplyDeleteI'll go google "uke-hunt" to see what's going on there.
Hilarious stuff here.
Hi Medeia,
DeleteWTF and then some :)
Or, try say, "uke hunt", out loud and note the reaction by anybody within ear shot :)
Thank you, Medeia.
Gary :)
Interesting selection of randomness. I have an entirely different meaning for WTF.
ReplyDeleteI won't bother hunting any Ukes (*~*)
Hi River,
DeleteThank you and randomness is randomly random. WTF Wonder what your meaning could be :) Uke gotta' do what uke gotta' do.
Thank you, River.
Gary :)
Ah, Gary, witty as ever. I smiled all the way through this. Even laughed out loud once or twice. It's so funny because it's all so true. Happy Weekend!
ReplyDeleteHi Carol,
DeleteThanks and witty rhymes with shitty :) Observational humour is a lot of fun. Happy weekend to you, Carol.
Gary :)
You were out for bear today, Gary.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
DeleteYep, but first of all, I went to the teddy bear's picnic, Susan.
Thank you, Susan.
Gary :)
I see the Leek, now. Very cool. Never saw MV on TV.
ReplyDeleteHey Mrs. Whisk,
DeleteWelcome to Leek, onion capital of the world.
Gary :)
Why thank you for the welcome. I brought with me a plate of fresh, allergy-free brownies.
DeleteAha and The Happy Whisk returns. We shall have an onion and allergy-free brownies stall set up for you in the town's market square.
DeleteGary :)
I think the women tennis players must have gotten the noise making idea from certain martial arts. There is something to expelling air with force that helps to make more force. It's just so annoying!
ReplyDeleteHeres to you and your having a most wonderful Sunday!
Hey Bish,
DeleteWonder what those certain martial arts might be and do they entail warming up exercises in the bedroom. Expelling air with force might be construed as a good old fart! :)
Thank you, Bish and here's to you having a lovely week ahead.
Gary :)
i love random. I told my grandma to say uke hunt. She was not too happy.
ReplyDeleteHi Mr. Toast Dude,
DeleteI love the fact you love random. Ah yes, and your grandma's stating, "uke hunt", has gone viral on YouTube ;)
Thank you, good sir.,
Gary :)
Disgraceful that US line dancing on the cobbled streets of the UK. And a bit over the top with the stars and stripes garb. But please be careful not to malign the WTF. I'm one of those writers. Yes. I am. I write GS (good stories) about RS (random stuff).
ReplyDeleteHey, it's one of those writers, Lee,
DeleteDisgraceful and outrageous. Too many wannabee Americans in the UK and the irony in that could make for a whole article. You are definitely a "WTF" writer. Flying alligators have told me this! GS, RS and of course, "BS", which evidently is a writer's acronym for "Bad Spelling".
Thank you, Lee and top of the morning, afternoon and evening to you!
Gary :)
Hahaha! Oh Gary, I'm LMAO! All very funny, but esp. Love the.... Let's get ready to Crumble!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Diane,
DeleteI'm pleased you considered my random rumble make us get ready to Crumble! :)
Thank you, Diane.
Gary :)
I've missed it all, caught up in edits - but sent back yesterday and now I'm onto getting caught up. loved the randomness! You are the expert! Humorous post - your're in rare form! Glad to see it! They've got naked camping, dating, why not sports too! Yuck!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Yolanda,
ReplyDeleteComment section is acting up and I hope this works out. I'm guilty of not keeping up with your posts and thus, I shall set that straight. Although, not right now because it's gone four in the morning and I've been on the blogger comment circuit for several hours. I need somebody to send me a clone. Wonder who I could mean? :)
Naked camping and not forgetting the naked kinky conga, coming to a town near you! :)
Thank you, Yolanda.
Gary :)
Hey Gary, Despite your predilection for nakedness I've Awarded you The Versatile Blogger Award. I know you so enjoy the blogging niceties, but if you weren't so nice we wouldn't keep heaping them on! :)
DeleteHi Yolanda,
DeleteOops, the naked blogger responds :) Oh no, I have an admission to make here, along with my naked blogging. Right now, including the award you have now bestowed upon me, I have four other awards waiting in the wings. Thanks and duly noted. Hopefully, after my next post, I shall attempt to clear up and thank all of those lovely folks who have forwarded on awards to shy and humble me.
Thank you, Yolanda, I guess! LOL
Gary :)
Ha! I never thought of the selfie thing. Most of us Yanks don't line dance, fortunately.
ReplyDeleteHa and aha, Riot Kitty,
DeleteI wonder if you are now putting a lot of thought into a selfie :) Yep, you Yanks are not line dancing. Instead, you are taking up Morris Dancing. Jolly good show, eh what!
Thank you, my Kitty type friend.
Gary :)
Line dance was so, you know, 90s thing. Now we do obscene wiggle-abouts, which leave me confused and disturbed. We watched the Women's World Cup, happily. About time got their own time. We were in Switzerland last year and watched THAT World Cut in all sorts of languages. Didn't need languages at all, we were cheering for all teams.
ReplyDeleteWhew.
Hi Susan,
DeleteThe UK just entered the 90's. Line dancing seems to be almost a must amongst the somewhat older generation. Line dancing and bingo, not at the same time, I should add. You know you love the wiggle-abouts and here's to twerking....
Women's soccer aka football, is very popular in England. I should let you know that Chelsea are top of the women's Premier League.
Thank you, Susan.
Gary :)
It's strange, Gary. I tried the "uke hunt" thing while I walked out to get my mail. The neighbor raised his middle finger at me and shouted, "You ain't a princess yourself." Strange response, and I didn't find any ukeleles. Maybe it works in the UK but not here??
ReplyDeleteHey Robyn,
DeleteIt's strange Robyn, Um, oops, place the comma in and start again. It's strange, Robyn, indeed! :) What does you neighbour know! Everybody should realise you are the princess of Chico! UK ukuleles are heading your way, princess!
Thank you, Robyn.
Gary :)
Tennis subtitles? I had no idea! They sound hilarious. I heard my fiance watching tennis one morning and I was trying to decide what he was watching. I decided it was a murder/thrasher movie or an adult movie. When I walked into the tv room and saw women's tennis I busted out laughing. The grunts and noises had me thinking he was watching something totally different. :)
ReplyDelete~Jess
Hi Jess,
DeleteThank you for commenting on this previous post to my post after this post :) Subtitles on to spare me those painful screeching sounds of the lady tennis players. Maybe your fiance was watching X-rated tennis. After all, in tennis, "love" means nothing at all. Have fun and thanks for the comment, Jess.
Gary :)