Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
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Sunday, 23 June 2013
Sex Coach.
You might think of a "sex coach" as a bus full of footloose, fancy-free folks finding fun frolicking fondly forwards fondling for flappy, floppy favours. Sort of like, "A Streetcar Named Desire", if you so desire. A coach full of wild folks doing the naked kinky conga down the aisle as the driver does her best to drive onwards and up the hill that is fast approaching. No, the hill is not fast approaching. The bus is fast approaching the hill. So, stop having that pedantic thought. Up the hill as the naked kinky conga slides down the aisle and knocks down the toilet door, startling the poor guy who is only trying to have a quiet dump. Well, that's not what I'm referring to. Although I have ridden a Greyhound, but we wont talk about that.
No, I'm talking about an actual sex coach as in somebody who coaches you and your partner on how to have sex in a more fulfilling way. Yes, the sex coach gives you sex lessons. How thoughtful of a sex coach standing at the end of your bed and encouraging you on. You would be well advised to let your sex partner know that there is going to be a sex coach leering, sorry, observing the both of you from the end of your bed or whatever it is you're using. And it would also be advisable to inform your partner that the sex coach charges $240 for a two hour coaching session. I would also inform you that I charge half that amount. Actually, I charge nothing. Actually, I'll pay you to have me watch you, um coach you.
I leave you with some conga dancing, doggy style, um Pomeranian style. "Ah Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star! I know, I know, you're enjoying this video!"
I remember that journey on the Greyhound. What fun, eh!
Aha, okay, your friend's mum is a sex coach. You can get a Masters degree in sexology. You apparently start your first lesson by talking to a pillow. Whatever that means.
LOL leave it to dogs for the conga line, so guillible. Always looking for a way to make some dough, if I want tips I'll rent a video haha but the practice makes perfect too. Damn, the cat is still snip snip at his zoo.
You are so thoughtful. Free coaching!!! Not many things in life are free, but I can add one more to the list:)
On another bright note, I did send something your way last Thursday. I am hoping that you just missed the post as opposed to not liking it... Happy Weekend Gary and Penny!!!
Yes I'm so thoughtful. You can now add free coaching to your list. Yay.
I know you now realise that I only just managed to get to your site and of course I liked it. You are most kind to think of me in such a way. "Hey Abbott!" :)
Oh, I'll just bet you'd do the "honors" for free. How terribly generous of you. I have to wonder why anyone would need "coaching" in the first place... isn't it referred to as "doing what comes naturally", for goodness sake? Like, um... riding a bike.
I'm such a generous guy! I kid you not, for I've been um told by other people, there are videos on YouTube where you can see an actual sex coach help out couples. Gosh and no thank you. I don't think I'd like a bicycle in my bed. Those darned spokes, although the chain might be interesting.
For Susan Flett Swiderski's information, riding a bike doesn't come naturally. One has to learn how. Once one has learnt, one will never forget. That is different from "coming naturally"...if you will excuse the expression.
If you are meaning "JOB" choice, my career in blogging ended before it started. If you are meaning I'm trying to remain classy and confuse folks, nah, would I do that. Nope! However, Penny the 'entrepawneur' is always looking for ways to make a quick buck, or a slow pound.
$240 for a two hour session? TWO HOURS?? That's a huge chunk out of a day just for sex coaching. I can think of better things to do. I suppose it's a valid career choice, and you probably couldn't get RSI from it.
There's this dude in America who charges that rate. Maybe he offers group discounts. Then again, like you, I can think of better things to do and better ways of spending my money. A career choice that would not necessarily be one involving hand-outs.
Hi Gary - the two hour time blocks could be interesting - I'd want you to be as fresh as a daisy .. no exhaustion from your travels around the world advising the blog-away-sex world on 'how to do it' .. do they have a book you have to study to get this mastering degree?!
Well that amused me on a Sunday morning .. my head wasn't straight - now it definitely isn't! I'm off for more coffee ... I need to wake up ...
I think I'll pass though .. the two hour chat I could manage! Cheers from windy Eastbourne .. Hilary
It could prove to be most interesting. A sex coach guided tour, perhaps. If there isn't a book on the topic, they may soon be. A book on how to get your Masters in Sexology. What a great idea.
I could use some more coffee after just reading my own article. What was I thinking...never mind.
Ah yes, that wind out there right now. My garden furniture has been blown to the opposite end of the garden! And the central heating is back on. Summer?
I was wondering what all those people were doing outside my window the other night with notepads. They must have been students doing this special course. I must find myself some decent curtains.
What a funny post Gary. A sex coach? And with a wage attached. I never saw this advertised at the local Jobcentre!
There you go. Your fans were eagerly taking notes so they too could be amazed at your prowess. Decent curtains? You might try closing the ones you have :)
It's in the Jobcentre over at the section where you either do that job or they remove your benefits. Yay to the coalition.
Have a good one and mind the folks with notepads or invite them in.
That's a really generous offer! Hope you get lots of people taking you up on it. Would it be like being the cox in a rowing race, shouting encouragement and instructions? :-) x
That Sex coach pic looks legit. (; Makes traffic circles and speed bumps a lot more fun I suppose. If you have to pay to get on the coach, would that be considered prostitution?
It's metrosexual time. Speed bump delight! Then the coach goes down the 'Champs-Elise', or whatever it's called in Paris and round and round the Arc de Triomphe, but that's another story.
LOL, if you pay to get on the coach that would then be a threesome.
Ah yes reminds me of the old days of following The Convoy and its motley collection of battered coaches over the hills of Mid Wales at five miles an hour during the summer months, before the powers that be removed them from the road for ever.
The Welsh Convoy coaches. Weren't they full of old folks heading to Aberystwyth for a weekend of wild bingo? Don't you miss those days...LOL. Nice one, dude.
I wrote an article on a guy in NY who makes a very good living as a sex coach. He's kind of weird. He gives his clients his used toys to use. He moves in closer when couples are having sex, to watch them and provide tips. Imagine the performance anxiety.
On the other hand, I've never taken a bus trip. You've got me thinking about one.
I wonder if you actually interviewed the guy, face to face, as it were :) You may well be talking about the same dude I meant. It would be a bit of a shock if the dude popped out from the end of the bed and the partner didn't realise he'd been hired to watch and give pointers.
On the other hand...refrain from any innuendoes, Gary. Seriously, nothing like going on a cross-country coach ride :)
Yeah, I bet we're both talking about this dude, Erik Aramath (or something like that). I didn't interview him head on, er face to face. I just watched a Youtube video clip of him (dressed). He's a bit of a voyeur, wouldn't you say? That would be funny if he just stood up, knocked the guy off the bed, and showed him how it's done.
Anyway, here's a link to my article a few months ago, if you're interested. Let me know if it's the same one. He really gets around.
Yes, it was that dude, but I didn't want to put up his YouTube video. I bet you're devastated you never got to meet him in all his gory, um glory. I think he's a weirdo. A rich weirdo. Somebody should put him up a flagpole. Yeah, watch him take over the bedroom scene. I wonder if he makes coffee and smokes a cigarette afterwards...
Of course, I'll check out your link. Funny how we seem to be onto something here. Um, funny how you did a similar posting, or maybe not!
This was way too funny for a girl who hasn't even had breakfast yet...I've been on bus trips, but never on a sex coach...I guess I'm missing out... Tina @ Life is Good
That's really funny, Gary. The Conga dogs are much cuter though.
I've never ridden a Greyhound, but when my husband's best friend rode one to visit us when were in New Mexico, his trip was pure torture. We almost didn't recognize him when he got off the bus - he looked that bad.
Thanks. Yes, those conga dogs are much cuter than the naked kinky conga on the coach.
Not a good advertisement for Greyhound. I rode a Greyhound from Vancouver to San Francisco. Some dudes came on the bus, ah some dudes got onto the bus at the Oregon/California border, checking for fruits.
I agree. I think making love in front of a "coach" would be very intimidating. Still the driver would get a good view. There you go. A pedantic reply :) I think they get their secrets from Amsterdam. I think they get their licenses from a cut-out coupon in a dubious magazine.
I can't even imagine. I'm blushing just thinking about it. And all those years my brother thought he'd like to be a gynecologist and he could have gone the se coach route.
I'm generous and how did you know I've been a "lecturer"?
Ah yes, a trip and a bump on the Greyhound. Not nice. In Britain, we have the "National Express" coach lines. I'd like to express a few thoughts about them, but....
A lot of f's today at your shore. It makes me feel so freaking fine! But did you say a quiet dump? There's no such thing, especially when we're talking a bus ride. One of the reasons you'd never find me on a bus is that quiet stands for thunderous. I'd blow every passenger's mind away. You'd hear those poor folks screaming, 'RUN! GO TO THE EXIT! QUICK! WE'RE DYING HERE!' Well, something to that effect. But let's not talk about it even if I just did.
P.S. Some would pay you find it exciting to observe sex coaches observing humping couples. No, not me.
How the "f" are you? I assume you have gone on a survey and listened outside toilet doors :) As for your tooting prowess and your nostril hair burning capabilities, you should bottle that talent. I think any coach passengers would actually applaud you rather than make a hasty retreat for the exit.
I believe you, my friend. How's the video, coming along? LOL
Haha! Actually, you have to charge that much, Gary. It's the "professional" rate. If you don't, then you're arrested for being a voyeur. It's like the difference between a professional hit man and a common murderer. It's all about the money. Now you know the secret... ;)
Not sure if should thank you or smack you Either way, you are quite welcome for my commenting expertise and I only charge half for it but for you it's free!!
What a clever driver, or rider... that first puppy is. I hear you can charge $250 to visit a professional hugger... I'd be a great sex coach, rule number one stop watching porn...(it's like a surgeon watching Gray's Anatomy for medical advice) and I'd have them demonstrate on dummies first... I would charge a fortune, perhaps I could send you the videos for your expert opinion, especially if it was for free or you paid me... Hope you have been well Gary, love the new pic as well.
Lovely to see you. Well, in a virtual sense, of course :) Okay, I get it, you are referring to the video and not the "Sex coach" in the photo. I hear you can charge a tree all the money you want, just to hug it. That's if you believe money grows on trees. Porn? What's that? Perhaps you might send me a video involving dummies and a sex coach. Your comment is priceless, Ida. In reality, things are very difficult right now. That's why I've been posting up surreal, silly stories. Glad you like the latest header.
I am sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. I have been busy of late, lots of guests escaping winter in the southern hemisphere on their way, and am in a hurry now too, but just want to say I haven't been able to flit around blogland as much as I would like, but if you ever need a 'chat' you can always catch me on facebook. I sincerely hope everything turns out mega brilliant for you Gary... just don't forget where you put the bed again :)
Thank you for the follow up comment. Most appreciated. Through the most adverse of times, I find the resolve to not allow the negativity permission to totally overwhelm. With the kind, caring interaction I receive from you and the energy it produces, I continue to embrace all that is good. I'm heartened by your gesture. I shall contact you on Facebook at some time to see how you are as well. Despite your busy times, you've found this special moment. I'm profoundly grateful and I really must remember where I put my bed! :)
I've got a position for you. Um, I've got a position for you as the sex cheerleader for the naked kinky conga. I know you are fascinated with all things related to public transport and thus, ta da, a photo of a "Sex coach".....
Smiley faces on your kneecaps! What next? You'll be writing "time on my" hands. Greetings from, on the very rare occasion, sunny and humid, Leek.
Lovely to have you visit again. I appreciate that. Doing such posts and the wonderful interaction is therapy during challenging times. A bit of light-hearted positive distraction we can share.
I've had a few trips on Greyhound over my life. Only one stands out in memory because that ride was a dark and healing, almost womb-like, limbo for me. It gave me a "time out" between one way of living ending and the beginning of a new one. I rode from just above LA to the east coast of Florida, four days and I didn't talk to a single soul, didn't have a cell phone or computer (Yes I know I'm dating myself), no distraction from the cave I crawled into and hibernated in the entire four days. Life changed not because of that trip, but because it gave me a peace I very desperately needed at the time. Thanks for the pom movie! So cute!
A snippet of your life. Encapsulated with four reflective days on the bus that put you into a cocoon of thoughts, without the distractions of others, or technology. I know of such journeys, my friend. A life-changing journey after the journey.
I do try to comment back to each commenter individually. However, I might have to shorten my replies or give a group thank you. That way, I can spend more time commenting on your blogs. Thank you and peace, my friend.
I've also ridden a Greyhound bus, and would also not like to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine's mom is a sex coach. Or maybe just a sexologist? Either way, one wonders how that degree is achieved.
Shannon at The Warrior Muse
Hi Shannon,
DeleteI remember that journey on the Greyhound. What fun, eh!
Aha, okay, your friend's mum is a sex coach. You can get a Masters degree in sexology. You apparently start your first lesson by talking to a pillow. Whatever that means.
Shannon, you are my hero!
Gary :)
LOL leave it to dogs for the conga line, so guillible. Always looking for a way to make some dough, if I want tips I'll rent a video haha but the practice makes perfect too. Damn, the cat is still snip snip at his zoo.
ReplyDeleteAh Pat,
DeleteDogs show cats how to do it
Conga time, you little kit
A cat in a zoo?
No lion me thinks would be true.
Happy rest of your weekend at your "Bay"
That's what I say.
Gary :)
Um...... o.O
ReplyDeleteJoJo....Um...o.0, you know :)
DeleteHappy Sunday to you.
Gary :)
You are so thoughtful. Free coaching!!! Not many things in life are free, but I can add one more to the list:)
ReplyDeleteOn another bright note, I did send something your way last Thursday. I am hoping that you just missed the post as opposed to not liking it... Happy Weekend Gary and Penny!!!
Hi Robin,
DeleteYes I'm so thoughtful. You can now add free coaching to your list. Yay.
I know you now realise that I only just managed to get to your site and of course I liked it. You are most kind to think of me in such a way. "Hey Abbott!" :)
Happy Sunday, Robin.
Gary :)
Oh, I'll just bet you'd do the "honors" for free. How terribly generous of you. I have to wonder why anyone would need "coaching" in the first place... isn't it referred to as "doing what comes naturally", for goodness sake? Like, um... riding a bike.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
DeleteI'm such a generous guy! I kid you not, for I've been um told by other people, there are videos on YouTube where you can see an actual sex coach help out couples. Gosh and no thank you. I don't think I'd like a bicycle in my bed. Those darned spokes, although the chain might be interesting.
Happy Sunday.
Gary :)
For Susan Flett Swiderski's information, riding a bike doesn't come naturally. One has to learn how. Once one has learnt, one will never forget. That is different from "coming naturally"...if you will excuse the expression.
DeleteHey rhymeswithplague,
DeleteI'm not sure where Susan is. Probably putting trainer wheels on the sex coach. Thanks for coming. Er...thanks for visiting.
Gary :)
Woo hoo, I need to get me one of those.
ReplyDeleteHey Pat,
DeleteWhat would that be. Your own sex coach or sex coach? Your own Pomeranian? Have a good one, dude.
Gary :)
Are you "entertaining" a new Jay-Oh-Bee choice, Gary? Or was this all Penny's idea, the entrepreneurial little minx:)
ReplyDeleteHey Samantha,
DeleteIf you are meaning "JOB" choice, my career in blogging ended before it started. If you are meaning I'm trying to remain classy and confuse folks, nah, would I do that. Nope! However, Penny the 'entrepawneur' is always looking for ways to make a quick buck, or a slow pound.
Thank you, Samantha and here, have a lion.
Gary :)
$240 for a two hour session? TWO HOURS?? That's a huge chunk out of a day just for sex coaching. I can think of better things to do.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's a valid career choice, and you probably couldn't get RSI from it.
Hi River,
DeleteThere's this dude in America who charges that rate. Maybe he offers group discounts. Then again, like you, I can think of better things to do and better ways of spending my money.
A career choice that would not necessarily be one involving hand-outs.
Thank you, River.
Gary :)
I thought I'd seen it all, but naked Pomeranians doing the kinky conga? I suppose they'll be taking it on tour via coach?
ReplyDeleteSo generous of you to coach humanity for free. Two hour time blocks could be brutal; keep eye salve on hand.
Hi Dixie,
DeleteNo doubt, they'd be riding the Greyhound.
You know me. Always here to offer free advice. I figure the two hours would fly by. I fall asleep for 1 hour and 58 minutes.
A good Sunday to you, Dixie.
Gary :)
Two hour sessions? Someone is kidding themselves. Or likes to watch people sleeping...
ReplyDeleteHi Elephant's Child,
DeleteIndeed and somebody is getting very rich watching folks sleep for two hours.
Thank you, Sue.
Hope you had a decent weekend and all the best.
Gary :)
Hi Gary - the two hour time blocks could be interesting - I'd want you to be as fresh as a daisy .. no exhaustion from your travels around the world advising the blog-away-sex world on 'how to do it' .. do they have a book you have to study to get this mastering degree?!
ReplyDeleteWell that amused me on a Sunday morning .. my head wasn't straight - now it definitely isn't! I'm off for more coffee ... I need to wake up ...
I think I'll pass though .. the two hour chat I could manage! Cheers from windy Eastbourne .. Hilary
Hi Hilary,
DeleteIt could prove to be most interesting. A sex coach guided tour, perhaps. If there isn't a book on the topic, they may soon be. A book on how to get your Masters in Sexology. What a great idea.
I could use some more coffee after just reading my own article. What was I thinking...never mind.
Ah yes, that wind out there right now. My garden furniture has been blown to the opposite end of the garden! And the central heating is back on. Summer?
Have a lovely Sunday and mind that breeze.
Gary
I was wondering what all those people were doing outside my window the other night with notepads. They must have been students doing this special course. I must find myself some decent curtains.
ReplyDeleteWhat a funny post Gary. A sex coach? And with a wage attached. I never saw this advertised at the local Jobcentre!
Hi Rum-Punch Drunk,
DeleteThere you go. Your fans were eagerly taking notes so they too could be amazed at your prowess. Decent curtains? You might try closing the ones you have :)
It's in the Jobcentre over at the section where you either do that job or they remove your benefits. Yay to the coalition.
Have a good one and mind the folks with notepads or invite them in.
Gary :)
That's a really generous offer! Hope you get lots of people taking you up on it. Would it be like being the cox in a rowing race, shouting encouragement and instructions? :-) x
ReplyDeleteHi Teresa,
DeleteWhy thank you very much. I'm sure they'll be queueing up outside my office sweet, um suite. Maybe coxless pairs demanding the right stroking method.
Mind the wind today. As in the wind outside :)
Gary :) x
That Sex coach pic looks legit. (;
ReplyDeleteMakes traffic circles and speed bumps a lot more fun I suppose.
If you have to pay to get on the coach, would that be considered prostitution?
Hi Elise,
DeleteIt's a French tour coach.
It's metrosexual time. Speed bump delight! Then the coach goes down the 'Champs-Elise', or whatever it's called in Paris and round and round the Arc de Triomphe, but that's another story.
LOL, if you pay to get on the coach that would then be a threesome.
Have a lovely Sunday, Elise.
Gary :)
Hey Gazza :)
ReplyDelete(Has one now overstepped ones boundaries:)
Anyhoo, your latest post does now make me think anew the classic Americanism of helping ones friends as you say "Put me in, Coach.:)
Happy Sunday, er, coach Klahanie :)
Hey Mazza,
DeleteYes I did once. Went over the boundary from England to Wales. Haven't been the same since! :)
Good sir, a classic North Americanism. Put me in, Coach, I'd love to score. Yes, time to watch the Canadian Football League.
Happy Sunday to you, ahem, coach Mazza. Hope you have a nice lei-about....
Gary :)
Ah yes reminds me of the old days of following The Convoy and its motley collection of battered coaches over the hills of Mid Wales at five miles an hour during the summer months, before the powers that be removed them from the road for ever.
ReplyDeleteHi Rob,
DeleteThe Welsh Convoy coaches. Weren't they full of old folks heading to Aberystwyth for a weekend of wild bingo? Don't you miss those days...LOL. Nice one, dude.
Gary :)
Mark's comment made me chuckle.
ReplyDeleteNo sex coach needed in our house! We have it down to a science. Trust me.
Hi Alex,
DeleteI had a inkling somebody might come up with a Football analogy, North American style. "Mazza", didn't disappoint!
You'd have to have a really big house to get a "coach" in there. Alex, trust me, I'll take your word for it.
Enjoy your Sunday, y'all.
Gary :)
if the bus is a rockin', don't come a knockin'...
ReplyDeleteHi Jeremy,
DeleteLOL! Taking suspension to another dimension.
Have a retro-Sunday. Whatever that means.
Gary :)
Great post Gary, what if you haven't got a partner?
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Hi Yvonne,
DeleteThank you. I know that not having a partner myself, I ride the coach alone. Maybe that didn't sound right :)
I hope you have a lovely Sunday and it sure is cold and windy out there.
Gary :)
I wrote an article on a guy in NY who makes a very good living as a sex coach. He's kind of weird. He gives his clients his used toys to use. He moves in closer when couples are having sex, to watch them and provide tips. Imagine the performance anxiety.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I've never taken a bus trip. You've got me thinking about one.
Hugs to you, Gary.
xoRobyn
Hi Robyn,
DeleteI wonder if you actually interviewed the guy, face to face, as it were :) You may well be talking about the same dude I meant. It would be a bit of a shock if the dude popped out from the end of the bed and the partner didn't realise he'd been hired to watch and give pointers.
On the other hand...refrain from any innuendoes, Gary. Seriously, nothing like going on a cross-country coach ride :)
Hugs to you, Robyn.
Gary :) x
Hi, Gary,
DeleteYeah, I bet we're both talking about this dude, Erik Aramath (or something like that). I didn't interview him head on, er face to face. I just watched a Youtube video clip of him (dressed). He's a bit of a voyeur, wouldn't you say? That would be funny if he just stood up, knocked the guy off the bed, and showed him how it's done.
Anyway, here's a link to my article a few months ago, if you're interested. Let me know if it's the same one. He really gets around.
http://www.examiner.com/article/sex-coaching-play-by-play-bedroom-tutorials
xoRobyn
Hi Robyn,
DeleteYes, it was that dude, but I didn't want to put up his YouTube video. I bet you're devastated you never got to meet him in all his gory, um glory. I think he's a weirdo. A rich weirdo. Somebody should put him up a flagpole. Yeah, watch him take over the bedroom scene. I wonder if he makes coffee and smokes a cigarette afterwards...
Of course, I'll check out your link. Funny how we seem to be onto something here. Um, funny how you did a similar posting, or maybe not!
Behave and be well.
Gary :) x
This was way too funny for a girl who hasn't even had breakfast yet...I've been on bus trips, but never on a sex coach...I guess I'm missing out...
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
Hi Tina,
DeleteWouldn't want you spitting out your "Lucky Charms". You haven't lived, evidently, until you've been on a "sex coach" :)
Hope you're okay, Tina. Have a peaceful Sunday.
Gary :)
That's really funny, Gary. The Conga dogs are much cuter though.
ReplyDeleteI've never ridden a Greyhound, but when my husband's best friend rode one to visit us when were in New Mexico, his trip was pure torture. We almost didn't recognize him when he got off the bus - he looked that bad.
Hi Diane,
DeleteThanks. Yes, those conga dogs are much cuter than the naked kinky conga on the coach.
Not a good advertisement for Greyhound. I rode a Greyhound from Vancouver to San Francisco. Some dudes came on the bus, ah some dudes got onto the bus at the Oregon/California border, checking for fruits.
Gary :)
What will they come up with next?
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry,
DeleteNaked water polo at the botanical gardens.
Gary :)
I am also wondering what Sherry Ellis is wondering. What next?
ReplyDeleteHi Munir,
DeleteWhat next? "Sex coach" meets the "Love Boat".
Gary :)
Very funny post, Gary. I think making love in front of a coach would be intimidating. What are these guys' secrets? How did they get their license?
ReplyDeleteHi Julia,
DeleteI agree. I think making love in front of a "coach" would be very intimidating. Still the driver would get a good view. There you go. A pedantic reply :) I think they get their secrets from Amsterdam. I think they get their licenses from a cut-out coupon in a dubious magazine.
Gary :)
I can't even imagine. I'm blushing just thinking about it. And all those years my brother thought he'd like to be a gynecologist and he could have gone the se coach route.
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth,
DeleteI'm sure you can imagine :) LOL, your brother was thinking the wrong mode of transport. I know, that made no sense!
Gary :)
Too weird Dude. I like the new header picture :)
ReplyDelete.......dhole
Hi Donna,
DeleteI appreciate that, Donna. Nothing like a new 'header' :)
Gary :)
That must be a hard job.
ReplyDeleteBA DUM BUM
Thank you, thank you, don't forget your waiters and waitresses.
Al Penwasser up?,
DeleteActually, I don't want to know.
Your comment made me stand to attention. Times can be hard.
You keep your "BUM" out of this.
Thank you and I shall send you the Maitre d'!
Gary :)
OMG too funny!!! Laughing at what Al above me said about it being a "hard job"...don't tell my husband, he will run out and apply today!
ReplyDeleteHi Caren,
DeleteAha and Al is "above" you. Okay, moving swiftly on. Did you know that Al was the dude trying to have a "quiet dump" on the 'coach'?
Do you know where your husband is? LOL
Gary :)
A sex coach. . . . we usually call them whores on wheels, but keep Penny away. He could open his own Pooch Palace.
ReplyDeleteHi lotta joy,
Delete"Whores on wheels"! I like that. Well, maybe not for real. Over here we have carnal caravans. Penny, she is going to compete with Greyhound.
On a serious note, Penny has replied to Beau. I shall come over to your site later, ahem, I shall visit your site later.
Gary :)
Could this be turned into a HOP? Hmmm. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.
ReplyDeleteAha, it's, ta da, C.Lee McKenzie!,
DeleteNice of you to HOP over. Hey, turn this into a Blog Hop or Blogfest or Blog Party and then have reflection posts about reflection posts.
Gary :)
You're a generous soul, Gary. How kind of you to make such an offer. ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Julie,
DeleteI've always tried to be generous. I may have taken blogging to a curious new level.
Gary :)
Generous or lecherous? :0
ReplyDeleteI too took a trip on a Greyhound - it was horrible, I do not recommend a bus trip to any friend or foe.
Patches, says Hey, Penny!
Hi Yolanda,
DeleteI'm generous and how did you know I've been a "lecturer"?
Ah yes, a trip and a bump on the Greyhound. Not nice. In Britain, we have the "National Express" coach lines. I'd like to express a few thoughts about them, but....
Penny says "Hey" back to Patches!
Gary :)
A lot of f's today at your shore. It makes me feel so freaking fine! But did you say a quiet dump? There's no such thing, especially when we're talking a bus ride. One of the reasons you'd never find me on a bus is that quiet stands for thunderous. I'd blow every passenger's mind away. You'd hear those poor folks screaming, 'RUN! GO TO THE EXIT! QUICK! WE'RE DYING HERE!' Well, something to that effect. But let's not talk about it even if I just did.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Some would pay you find it exciting to observe sex coaches observing humping couples. No, not me.
Hey Blue,
DeleteHow the "f" are you? I assume you have gone on a survey and listened outside toilet doors :) As for your tooting prowess and your nostril hair burning capabilities, you should bottle that talent. I think any coach passengers would actually applaud you rather than make a hasty retreat for the exit.
I believe you, my friend. How's the video, coming along? LOL
Gary :)
Our village has just two. Buses a day.....
ReplyDeleteThe driver looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp
Hey John,
DeleteYour village has two coaches a day. Must be a busy village.
The driver is a bulldog who ate a wasp. The bulldog always wanted to go to North America and drive a Greyhound. Yes, I know, too much info.
Gary :)
"Actually, I'll pay you to have me watch you, um coach you." - Hahahaha. All my friends are perves so you fit in very well Gary *falls about.
ReplyDeleteHey Michelle,
DeleteI know all your friends are perves. I have been informed you are an excellent coach. *Rolls around on floor and giggles...*
Gary :)
Hahahahahahahahh!!!!!!!!!! Gary!!!
ReplyDeleteLaura
x
Hi Laura,
DeleteI'm sure I removed those photos of me off the internet! LOL
Gary :)
x
Haha! Actually, you have to charge that much, Gary. It's the "professional" rate. If you don't, then you're arrested for being a voyeur. It's like the difference between a professional hit man and a common murderer. It's all about the money. Now you know the secret... ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Laura Eno,
DeleteThanks for the information, Laura. You seem to be in the know! :)
Gary :)
I dunno, having to be coached would raise serious performance concerns on my part. I'm not endowed with that much confidence. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff,
DeleteI'm sure you'd rise to the challenge! :)
Gary :)
Not sure if should thank you or smack you
ReplyDeleteEither way, you are quite welcome for my commenting expertise and I only charge half for it but for you it's free!!
Hey Tammy,
DeleteDecisions, decisions. I know you would thank me and beg for my autograph.
Thanks for your bargain price comment. It would have been good at twice the price!
Gary :)
Are you available for phone coaching Gary? That might help reduce some harmful side effects.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Hi Julie,
DeleteI suppose I could coach a phone. Hopefully the phone wouldn't put me on hold or give me a busy signal.
Gary :)
Whooo Hoooo..... A SEX Coach!! Is that what you get people in your life that have everything???
ReplyDeleteI am going to share this on twitter and FB.... but I am blaming your for all the weirdos that try to follow me.
Hi Terry,
DeleteWhat a great idea. Somebody who seems to have everything, would probably appreciate a "sex coach", complete with passengers and a driver! :)
Thanks for sharing. Thanks for sharing this posting, that is. Those weirdos are just more of your ever growing legion of adoring fans!
Gary :)
What a clever driver, or rider... that first puppy is. I hear you can charge $250 to visit a professional hugger... I'd be a great sex coach, rule number one stop watching porn...(it's like a surgeon watching Gray's Anatomy for medical advice) and I'd have them demonstrate on dummies first... I would charge a fortune, perhaps I could send you the videos for your expert opinion, especially if it was for free or you paid me... Hope you have been well Gary, love the new pic as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Ida,
DeleteLovely to see you. Well, in a virtual sense, of course :) Okay, I get it, you are referring to the video and not the "Sex coach" in the photo. I hear you can charge a tree all the money you want, just to hug it. That's if you believe money grows on trees. Porn? What's that? Perhaps you might send me a video involving dummies and a sex coach. Your comment is priceless, Ida. In reality, things are very difficult right now. That's why I've been posting up surreal, silly stories. Glad you like the latest header.
Wishing you joyous, positive times, my friend.
Gary :)
I am sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. I have been busy of late, lots of guests escaping winter in the southern hemisphere on their way, and am in a hurry now too, but just want to say I haven't been able to flit around blogland as much as I would like, but if you ever need a 'chat' you can always catch me on facebook. I sincerely hope everything turns out mega brilliant for you Gary... just don't forget where you put the bed again :)
DeleteHi Ida,
DeleteThank you for the follow up comment. Most appreciated. Through the most adverse of times, I find the resolve to not allow the negativity permission to totally overwhelm. With the kind, caring interaction I receive from you and the energy it produces, I continue to embrace all that is good. I'm heartened by your gesture. I shall contact you on Facebook at some time to see how you are as well. Despite your busy times, you've found this special moment. I'm profoundly grateful and I really must remember where I put my bed! :)
In peace and hope,
Gary :)
LOL :)
ReplyDeleteNo sex coaches of any kind for me thanks! :)
Hi Jemi,
DeleteFair enough. How about a hockey coach, eh! LOL
Gary :)
You wonderful weirdo you. :-)
ReplyDeleteI've never been a sex coach. But more than once, I have been a sex cheerleader. :-)
Greetings from sunny, humid Minneapolis, where I have drawn smiley faces on my knee caps,
Pearl
Hey Pearl,
DeleteThank you for that. Very kind of you :)
I've got a position for you. Um, I've got a position for you as the sex cheerleader for the naked kinky conga. I know you are fascinated with all things related to public transport and thus, ta da, a photo of a "Sex coach".....
Smiley faces on your kneecaps! What next? You'll be writing "time on my" hands. Greetings from, on the very rare occasion, sunny and humid, Leek.
Gary :)
Penny!! Are you in heat???
ReplyDeleteHi Eve,
DeletePenny, the coolest dog in these here parts, notes that it gets mighty hot in the desert.
Gary:)
I had heard of sex coaches before but a sex coach for a dragon would also need to be a pilot since dragons mate in the air.
ReplyDeleteHi Al,
DeleteMid-air mating, indeed. Note the sex coach on "United" airlines....
Be well my dragon type friend.
Gary :)
Gary, your posts are getting more hilarious by the day, and it shows in the comments :).
ReplyDeleteHi Damyanti,
DeleteLovely to have you visit again. I appreciate that. Doing such posts and the wonderful interaction is therapy during challenging times. A bit of light-hearted positive distraction we can share.
Dear lady, wishing you better, hopeful times.
Gary :)
:))))))))))))) oh my, that's some serious kinky stuff :)))). You're a lovely surprise.
ReplyDeleteHey Petronela,
ReplyDeleteAha, naked kinky conga time! Surprise! :) (((( ))))
Gary :)
I've had a few trips on Greyhound over my life. Only one stands out in memory because that ride was a dark and healing, almost womb-like, limbo for me. It gave me a "time out" between one way of living ending and the beginning of a new one. I rode from just above LA to the east coast of Florida, four days and I didn't talk to a single soul, didn't have a cell phone or computer (Yes I know I'm dating myself), no distraction from the cave I crawled into and hibernated in the entire four days. Life changed not because of that trip, but because it gave me a peace I very desperately needed at the time. Thanks for the pom movie! So cute!
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa,
ReplyDeleteA snippet of your life. Encapsulated with four reflective days on the bus that put you into a cocoon of thoughts, without the distractions of others, or technology. I know of such journeys, my friend. A life-changing journey after the journey.
Conga time! :)
Be well, Lisa.
Gary