The Daylight, Night Time, Any Time Robbery Bank
Dear customer,
This is a letter in regards to your letter querying why your current account is overdrawn. Well, here's what happened. One of our computers accidentally caused one of our human bank staff to key in the wrong current account details on one of your direct debits. Which means, the computer is blaming it on human error. This also meant that your healthy financial balance and credit rating has been destroyed.
We also understand from your previous letter, that you had to phone up all your direct debit companies, who could not withdraw money from your current account. You state that each company you phoned in regards to this, kept you on hold for ages, at considerable expense to you, while you listened to, amongst other things, a rousing rendition of the "William Tell Overture". We also realise that you tried to phone us to sort it out and was kept on hold for ages, at considerable expense to you, as you listened to, "For the love of Money", by the "O'Jays".
Upon further reading of your previous letter, we are also aware that this error has caused you to get into serious problems with a collection agency. We can only apologise for the stress caused by the overzealous bailiffs who ransacked your home and removed all your worldly goods.
We think it only fair to let you know that your current account, accidentally overdrawn, will be rectified within the next two years. We are also informing you that there is a £25 administration fee being charged to you for the sending out of this letter in regards to our mistake.
Have a nice day.
The Daylight, Night Time, Any Time Robbery Bank
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
Next two years! That's about the speed of the banking business all right.
ReplyDeleteHi Alex,
DeleteTwo years! I was being optimistic :)
Good grief....I hope this isn't first hand knowledge you are giving us here.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteSomewhat of an exaggeration. However I once did get charged a £25 admin fee by a bank to inform me of their error. I'm no longer with that bank. The rest is my imagination going wild, but probably close to the truth for some.
I always love how if you go even $1 overdrawn they start hammering you with fees to make your account even more overdrawn. If they just told you when you were overdawing I'd come down and just give them a couple bucks out of my pocket.
ReplyDeleteHi PT,
ReplyDeleteOh for sure, the irony is that you get overdrawn by a dollar and they charge you loads of fees to get you into more of a financial mess. Of course, that's exactly what they want to happen.
Happy banking.
Gary
Too funny, and unfortunately, not too far off the mark. Have a good day, indeed. So much for customer service. (You DO remember customer service, don't you?)
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
DeleteMaybe kinda' funny in a pulling out what's left of my hair, sort of way :)
Ah yes, customer service, I think I saw that on an episode of the "Walton's".
Have a nice day :)
Gary
My bank never does this sort of thing. Ever.
ReplyDeleteOh, look at that pig flying!
Hi Kim,
DeleteGee whiz, a bank that cares about its regular customers. I believe you and I shall now go and look for the elusive flying pig! :)
The following is true: I kept noticed a $600 deficit in my checking account. Assuming (as usual) that it was MY error, I just waited for the next statement and it had another $600 short! I figured THE BANK could find MY error. After all, they have all those computers and calculators.....They advised me that their records, did indeed, match MY bookkeeping and there was no calculating mistake on either side. I said "So, just put the $1,200 back into my account." They chuckled and said "The bank is not in the habit of GIVING AWAY MONEY."
ReplyDeleteAll I could do was change banks.
Hi lotta joy,
DeleteOh good grief and sadly, I know tale of woe you allude to rings with the truth about banks.
And while that bank chuckled...you 'laughed' all the way to another bank..
Hi Gary. I was laughing at this post and feeling guilty for it! You have perfectly satirised the situation and many readers will recognise the events depicted. The real worry is that banks will now be looking for ways to recoup their huge payouts for past misbehaviour. I think it's goodbye to free banking fairly soon :-(
ReplyDeleteClick here for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’
Hi bazza,
DeleteI kind of had a hunch that some folks might just relate to this somewhat satirical posting. And how the heart grows with excitement knowing we shall invariably pay for the rewards for incompetence and all their misbehaviour. No doubt they will send us a letter with admin charges included, telling us that free banking is no more.
Hello Gary:
ReplyDeleteAlas, this is something of a sad reflection on banking today!
Hello Jane and Lance,
DeleteIndeed, a sad and bad reflection on banking and the ill treatment of its customers.
And they wonder why customers turn postal. This is funny and sad and crazy all in one. Good grief is right. You have the patience of a saint.
ReplyDeleteHi Joylene,
DeleteI'm not exactly a saint. Although I've been having some practice. Although slightly satirical, the events within the posting are very close to the truth. I reckon a few folks could relate to such experiences.
Good grief.
Gary
I think this is something that any of us who use banks world wide will recognise. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gary, I loved your take on the world wide problem. And I am glad that you didn't get into one aspect of the banking world which makes the air around me blue - the salaries and bonuses received by the upper echelon. Hiss and spit.
Hi The Elephant's Child,
DeleteOh yes, a rather sorry state of affairs when so many of us recognise such dealings with the banks. A world wide problem, for sure. I got onto to that other aspect you mention in a previous posting. Something about, "The Big Bank Theory".
I'm hissing an spitting along with you. And now to wipe off the computer screen...
That excellently (and with a lot of humor) sums up a frigging infuriating truth about banks. Me and my boyfriend are dealing with the biggest idiot bank in the world and we deal monthly with their inept phone calls.
ReplyDeleteHi Petronela,
DeleteThanks for that and banks are a world unto themselves. It seems that British banks have a worthy rival in the idiot stakes where you live. Good grief and my heartfelt sympathy to you both. Maybe you can phone them up and listen to some really fun background music!
Take care,
Gary
I'd laugh heartily if it weren't so true! Oh dear!! And yes, they do charge the recipient for all admin costs whatever it is!
ReplyDeletetake care
x
Hi Old Kitty,
DeleteI know I smile through gritted teeth over the 'adventures' I've had with incompetent banks who think it's real neat to charge admin costs for their mistakes!
All the best and good luck.
Gary
x
LMAO! Captures all the frustration and choice treatment we get from modern banking. Now we know where those million-dollar bonuses come from, all those $30 a pop charges for what are usually their own mistakes.
ReplyDelete*grumble grumble curse*
Laura
x
Hi Laura,
DeleteI'm getting the impression you've had similar adventures or misadventures with the wonder that is modern banking. It makes you feel real good knowing all those admin charges paying for the bank's errors are contributing towards the bonus of some CEO who is rewarded for incompetence! Yay! Or *grumble grumble curse*
Have fun,
Gary
x
:-)
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, back at the ranch, little Nell has found a mason jar full of civil war pennies...
Pearl
p.s. You have my sympathies, actually. Banks and I were not on speaking terms for quite a bit of my 20s...
Hi Pearl,
DeleteAh yes and meanwhile, back at the field, a farmer discovered a hoard of Anglo Saxon artefacts...
"Civil war"...a bit of an oxymoron :)
You also have my sympathies. I actually tried to talk to somebody at my bank using the phone. All I got was a bunch of options and a bunch of music that you hear in elevators. What awesome fun! I hope your speaking terms with the banks has returned.
Enjoy :)
Gary
Is this a true story? I sure hope not!!!! I got £45 from Natwest for a relatively minor mistake. If you go and ask them for a claim form there's a chance they might be reasonable...
ReplyDeleteHi Jenny,
DeleteNot quite a true story. A combination of satire and actual events that have occurred to me and a number of folks I know. My son once got charged a £25 admin fee by a bank for a letter they sent him in regards to their error in his account. They would not refund the admin charge. He changed banks.
I do hope this story doesn't closely resemble someone's actual experience--though you can always leave it to the banks for ridiculous fees.
ReplyDeleteHi The Golden Eagle,
DeleteThe story is part fact and part satire. Sadly, many would relate to what I wrote as a familiar experience.
The admin fees was most definitely a fact part in the story.
Have a nice day :)
boy is that exactly like the banks are...hoping this really didn't happen!
ReplyDeleteHi Caren,
DeleteIt sure seems that way. Parts of the story, along with me going into satire overdrive, are true. I reckoned that folks may well recognise such experiences. The admin fee was true. The typical trying to make contact with companies and banks via the phone are true. Just my take on the whole ridiculous situation and frustration that many can relate to.
Thanks Caren.
Gary
It's strange how they will never pay for letters that you send them...these days I've moved all my accounts over to building societies and the co-op...but you should get in contact with the banking ombudsman and complain to them.
ReplyDeleteHi G,
DeleteFor sure, in fact, we should try to charge the banks an admin fee for receiving our letters. Something tells me that it wouldn't work.
Of course, this was somewhat tongue-in-cheek and my attempt at being satirical. My son was charged an admin fee from a bank informing them of an error they made with his account. When asked why they could do that. They said it was standard procedure. He changed banks. And me, I'm with the Coop and a local building society. I have no complaints about them.
Thank you, my friend.
Oh, Gary! That is too funny for mere words. I am just so sorry that this over-the-top situation has happened to you. But, you have (with your lovely twist of phrases) made me laugh today, and boy-howdy, I needed to laugh about something. Susan
ReplyDeleteHi Susan Kane,
DeleteOh yeah :) Of course, this was a satirical combination of actual events mixed in with a bit of experiences people have mentioned to me. Sometimes we need to laugh over the farces we encounter. Either laugh or sob uncontrollably in a darkened room.
Thanks, Susan.
Gary
Oh Gary! How did you know? I hate these banks. They're screwing us all over and no one seems to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being brave enough to do so. You made me laugh but you also made steam come out of my ears.
Jai
Hi Jai,
DeleteOh I know just how infuriating the whole banking system, or lack of system, can be. As long as the "fat cats" get their bonuses for a job not well done, I'm like real happy, not!
A bit of mixed emotions in this one. I just visualised steam coming out of your ears! :)
Thanks, Jai.
Gary
I can empathise. Actually Gary, you financial wizard you, have shared a new discovery. The computer claimed it was a human error?!! Wow, that's truly progress. Wonder how they handle loans?
ReplyDeleteHi Dixie,
DeleteHad a bit of a hunch you might relate to this slightly satirical posting. Yep, the computers are blaming everything on human error. The computers are making loans to each other. When the 'microchips' are down, they zap each other with a virtual loan :)
Gary
oh no how awful hope you got it worked out
ReplyDeleteHi becca,
DeleteOh it is awful. Fortunately, some of the posting was a satirical musing of events that happened and may well of happened to frustrated folks.
Thanks, becca.
Gary
Ain't that the truth! How frustrating that if we overdraw it takes mere seconds to jump all down our throat but they have 2 years?!?!?! So sorry this happened to you
ReplyDeleteHi Heather,
DeleteIt's amazing how efficient banks can be when it comes to us making an oversight. This posting was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. Although, worryingly, close to the truth.
Thanks, Heather.
Gary
Worryingly close to the truth is right! I should post my banking stories. And the even more ridiculous banking stories from the three THREE separate banks it took to keep my company going, the one where I was office manager for three years. You're so close to the truth that I'm looking over my shoulder. I probably shouldn't say this outloud...or they'll accidentally debit the paycheck instead of crediting it...
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
Hi Tina,
DeleteIt's quite worrying how banks can screw up and then give us the 'pleasure' of charging us for their mistakes.
Be careful what you do, Tina. However, you can relax in the knowledge you will not get an admin charge for my reply comment :) And hoping you don't charge me either...
Have a good weekend and focus on the positive.
Thank you, Tina.
Gary
Damn, dude... sounds like my bank. They're screwing around with me now almost as badly as my current health insurance company. Our bank suddenly proposed a rule that says that you can be penalized 250 dollars (quite a bit in this sorry economy) if you don't have a thousand bucks in your checking account. Nutty crap like that.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your bank account insanity and listening to boring old music while you're already frustrated enough to choke a goat.
Try to remain sane and have a decent weekend, my friend.
I just read where you commented back to a commenter that some of this story, partly true, was also some of your imagination. Funny stuff. Unfortunately, my bank- which will not be my bank in a couple of weeks, I will drop. If they ask me why, I'll tell them that I've been doing business with them for nearly a decade and it's really shitty that you're coming up with these sudden drastic rules that rip people off. The bank that I've recently looked into, has no service fees or rules that make doing business with them a needless chore. This bank has also said all the the larger banks, like the one I unfortunately have, currently, are doing the same thing to their customers.
ReplyDeleteHey Kelly,
DeleteI shall comment back to both comments you so kindly left, all in one.
Indeed, although some was a bit of zany overdrive by me, the events, to some degree have actually happened to me and others. I knew that this somewhat satirical posting would still be, rather sadly, something lots could relate to.
Your encounters with your soon to be replaced bank, is all too common a crap reality with the big banks. I don't blame you for changing banks. And it's very true about banks sending out letters in regards to their mistakes and charging one an admin charge to let a person know about the bank's error. They are incompetent money grabbing asswipes and we suffer the consequences.
Thanks man and good luck with your new bank. There will be no admin charge to you in this reply comment :)
Enjoy your weekend and I hope the storm passes.
Gary