Passing The Driving Test.

I sit here in front of my computer.  Comforted by a powerful and profound realisation that I have confronted my fears and refused to be overwhelmed by that sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I challenged my fear of driving.  I refused to let my terror of driving alone to a place I had never been before; get the better of my determined spirit.  The worry of going to a party and being with many people, would take this lonely recluse, way out of his comfort zone.  I could of made many an excuse not to go.  The excuses were left at home.  The negative 'inner chatter' was reduced from a relentless scream to a quiet whisper.
I was meticulous in my preparation for the long drive from Leek to Durham. Yes, that's Durham, England, not Durham, North Carolina.  Now that really would have been a challenge.  Indeed, this was going to be a drive that would take me on the motorway for the first time in nearly ten years.  I washed the car reckoning that would save me fuel.  I vacuumed  the car to save even more fuel.  I was very aware that £10 would about fill it up to empty.
So off I went.  Mile after terrifying mile, passed by.  Hour after nerve-wracking hour, passed by.  Almost four hours elapsed.  Then I took that final turn and my friends Julie and Philip, welcomed me with open arms.  I had arrived in more ways than one.
A warm euphoric wave swept over me.  All along the journey I had tried to overcome my anxiety with a positive visualisation of such a rewarding outcome.  That was phase one.  The party would be next and a new test on my battered self esteem; would soon be realised.  The party was a gathering; a celebration of Julie's birthday.  It was fun and I was okay.  Me, the recluse, was amongst friends and for the first time in a very long time; I felt like I was a part of something.  A part of something very special.  I even got to be a little bit silly.  You may note this in the above photograph as I posed in Julie's 'Jessica Rabbit' wig.  I can assure you that is not really my hair.

And thus I went for a stroll through Durham.  The glowing lamp; the distant vision of Durham cathedral; symbolic in my continued journey of self-discovery and self-renewal.  This trip of uncharted emotional territory bestowed upon me wondrous, magical gifts.  The gift of knowing that I am not the bad and devalued being that some would have me believe.  And the gift of friends who applaud the courage of this one man who strives for a happy and peaceful life.  These gifts are priceless.
Now I am home.  The solitude is there but the comfort of better times to come; immerses my soul in the soothing knowledge that I, just like you, have the right to tranquil and contented existence.