'Anger management'. So when someone tells me they are going on an 'anger management' course, I have two options of thought happening in this weird little mind of mine.
Option 1: Oh, so they are taking a course to control their outlandish, irrational outbursts of anger over such things like the pasta is stuck to the bottom of the pot. Somebody has put on the roll of toilet paper the opposite way to what they expected and, heaven forbid, they can't get that last bit of dog food off the spoon. Or maybe, just maybe, they are pretty darn angry because the boss is a patronising, condescending, arrogant little twat who needs to be whipped to an inch of their life with a wet noodle.
So option 1 is: Go on some course for anger management, pay out loads of money, (which makes them even angrier), only to be told: "take a deep breath and count to ten."
Option 2: So they are going on an 'anger management' course. Now why would they want to do that? Would the course teach them to get ready to sing these words to management: "take this job and stick it, I aint working here no more.." ? I mean, why would they want to 'anger management'? Do you really need to take a course to know how to piss off the boss? I don't think so. All you have to do is point out the fact, that if it wasn't for you, the entire organisation would fall apart. Tell your boss that they are an incompetent buffoon who makes Fred Flintstone look like one of the great intellects of the 21st century B.C. That should do the trick.
So option 2 is: Wait for your number to be called in the unemployment office.
So life is about our perceptions. It's all subject to interpretation. I can look at a bottle of shampoo for 'greasy hair' and think: "why would I want greasy hair?" I can look at a bottle of juice with the instructions that tell me to: 'dilute to taste' and wonder: "hmmm, if I don't dilute it, does that mean I can't taste it?" Don't get me started on 'free' range chickens', 'cause when I went up to the counter they said I would have to pay for the chicken.
I'm considering going on a 'happiness management course', heck, I don't want my happiness to get out of control.
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
Too funny my dear! I think I will join you and go on a Happiness management course as well. Too much bubbly isn't a good thing...or is it?
ReplyDeleteHeather
PS the Christmas card cme for Margo and I have passed it on.
Luvya!!
Yo 'Anonymous'
ReplyDeleteHow nice to hear from you eh! Shall talk to you soon eh.
I neglected to mention the 'laughter management' course. These people who laugh all the time, poke you in the ribs, expecting you to laugh at the 'joke' they just told.
Well they need to go on the 'laughter management' course, because, guess what?...they aint always funny ha ha lol?
Dear Klahanie,
ReplyDeleteI saw on the news today that apparrently we are all becoming angrier. Mobile phones, queue jumping and traffic congestion are all things which seem to get our goat and set off our anger.
Personally, I'm quite chilled, as I rarely use a moblie phone, queue jump or get into traffic congestion. Haven't got a car for one thing!
Hope you keep on amusing us with your funny, insightful blogs.
Hope to see you soon,
With Warmest Wishes,
David.
Hello Klahanie:
ReplyDeleteI'll just bet you really had more than two options, but these were the polite ones. lol.
You never cease to amaze me; I have to take notes! dc.
Dear David,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment my 'carless' friend. I know how "chilled" you are...Hmmm. these bloody chilled-out, laidback folks..boy do they make me angry lol....
All the best David. Warm wishes Gary.
Dear dcrelief,
ReplyDeleteMore than two options eh?
How about this as a possible third option. The 'shut the f**k up management course'. Where folks who never shut the f**k up, have heavy duty electicians tape placed on their big mouths and their hands tied behind their backs for two hours while the instructor talks on and on and on and on and....
Okay, sounds like my kind of option. Lucky me, I already have two rolls of tape. Who do I call to 'reserve' a seat?
ReplyDeletedcrelief
Please call the 'Shut the f**k up management course' hotline on: 555HUSH. You may find that the hotline is very difficult to get through too. The folks that phone go on and on and on and....:-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteOops Klahaine.
ReplyDeleteDelete my anonymous post. I forgot to mention my excitement over the taped hands and mouth experience! Loud and clear was for a bit of naughty fun.
I really should learn to do naughty nicer... any other options?
"WELL".. that sure gets her good eh?
ReplyDeleteIt sure does eh? lol eh....:-)
ReplyDelete