I was thinking of starting out this blog by attempting to do some fish puns, just for the halibut. Sadly, after coming up with the predictable ones such as: 'oh my cod' and 'calling all carps', I began to flounder.
So there I was on the number 18 bus heading from the wilds of Leek, (the 'Queen of the Moorlands'), to the great city of Stoke on Trent, (pottery capital of the world and a major producer of the legendary Staffordshire oatcake). Little did I realise that upon boarding the bus that I would suddenly think how much I missed having a car. Yes indeed, on the number 18 bus was a group of folks who I believe may have been guests on the Jeremy Kyle Show, (Britain's answer to Jerry Springer?).
Screaming obnoxious kids, rude, loud parents and people I assumed were the grandparents. Ah the grandparents, fine examples of how to use Anglo Saxon expletives in every mumbled sentence they exhaled from their big gobs. As I slumped into the only available seat left, I thought: "does life get any better than this?" Never have I been so glad to see the Potteries Centre and get the hell of that bus. But hey, I'm not complaining.
I've noticed a new kind of rudeness in today's modern, technological society. When someone comes to visit me, I think that is very nice, I appreciate the company. Nothing like a good old 'chin wag' as we discuss such things like the meaning of life and more important topics like who will win the Premiership this season. Yes it is so nice to have a chat. Some positive interaction. So when my visitor's mobile phone (cell phone) rings, why do they suddenly forget they have come to visit me? Why do they think it is alright to ignore me in my own home and have a conversation with someone else for 3o flippin' minutes? Why, for that matter, is the exchange of text messages so vital that it can't wait until they have finished visiting me? What the heck is that all about? But hey, I'm not complaining.
It's a few minutes before the grocery shop closes. I wander over to the reduced section in hopes of being able to grab a bargain. Before me lies a barricade of trolleys that have been stategically placed by a group of people who are determined to take the lot. If there are 30 packages of cheese, regular price £1.99, reduced to 9 pence, they make sure all of it goes into their trolleys. You see, they work in teams, a well-drilled precision unit that will not allow the likes of me anywhere near the reduced food. So they clear the lot, with the exception of the 9 pence tub of cottage cheese with chives. I gratefully grab the tub as I watch them drive off in their brand new Jaguars. But hey, I'm not complaining.
I now leave you with another collection of random thoughts and observations. If A.C. Milan played D.C. United of Major League Soccer, would the atmosphere be electric? Why is it called the 'Mile High Club'? I would have thought at 5280 feet, the pilot would still have the 'fasten seatbelt' sign on. No stopping some folks, I guess. I've heard a rumour that there is going to be a new social network site called : 'My Spacebook', where people go online and chat about their collection of books about space. And finally... I'm very disappointed with the Marcel Marceau C.D. I recently purchased. And finally..definitely..the future has arrived..computers are blaming it on human error. But hey, I'm not complaining.
Klahanie Blog. Celebrating the all different, all equal diversity we share. Help each other, we help ourselves. Header photo: Penny roaming free in a field, with The Roaches, near Leek Staffordshire, in the background.
Hating to sound like another moaning old git ......... I totally agree. And, sorry about this but you should complain, I think it is because we don't complain, is the reason the world is like this.
ReplyDeletePlease keep provoking thoughts.
Your small and snappy friend
Philip
Yo Philip. It's all about using our assertion skills. I do try to express my concerns to those who have been inconsiderate. That's a vast improvement from a time when I just didn't bother.
ReplyDeleteI'm still working on my assertion skills. After so long being undermined, it has been a slow progress forward. Thanks for your comment Philip.
Hey Gary, yes it is all about asserting yourself. It's easy to forget that we all have the same rights, but the more you stand up for yours the better you get at it.
ReplyDeleteI know that you do stand up for yourself and that it has been a rocky road for you, but I believe self confidence is like one of those rocks rolling down a hill, it just keeps gathering momentum.
I guess if you were to roll down a hill so would you.
Hey rock and roll man
and I thought Jerry Springer was Britains answer to Jerry Springer ....... and at least Anglo Saxon is better than French ..... who's zenophobic .... I just get an itch at the thought of Zen. Sorry just got to answer my mobile .................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Now what do YOU want????
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Sorry just got to text some one who is really important .......................................................................................................................................................................... bye bye Mr Beaver
Yes ofcourse, Jerry Springer was born in London, England (not to be confused with London, Ontario, Canada). The man was was also the Mayor of Cincinatti,Ohio, U.S.of A.
ReplyDeleteAnd we know how much the British admire the French. I have noticed the common usage of French words such as 'gateau', when in most of Canada, they would call it 'cake'. Would you like a 'baguette' also? Huh?
"Zenophobic"? What the hell is that Philip? Did you mean 'xenophobic' which is evidently fear of a warrior Princess?
Must go now...time to text baby :-)
Of course it is "xeno", however does that allow me to rant about buddists, I think not!!Zen means meditation and the central doctrine of Zen is that an individual experience of enlightenment (satori) equivalent to that of the Buddha can be transmitted from master to disciple by meditation or by other means 'outside the scriptures' - i.e. not through intellectual understanding of doctrine.
ReplyDeleteSo there Mr Beave.
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteCan I add this.
For anyone who is interested, you can find out about the not so humble oatcake at http://www.staffordshireoatcakes.com/
Pointless asking, as I have done it
Right then, Philip, 'friend of the beaver', I would like to submit a famous Canadian recipe that originates from Nanaimo, British Columbia, which is located on the east coast of Vancouver Island.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nanaimo-info.com/gpage.html
I really like how the comments on my blog have brought such great interaction. The blog library community spirit can live on.
A big thanks to you Philip.
What the ***** is a graham wafer???, hopefully not something made from a graham!!!! Please, please, don't let me guess what Cream Plus is, not the ancient chinese recipe for "Cream of Somyounguy", and Angel flakes?????
ReplyDeleteHey Philip. Evidently graham wafers are not made out of dudes named 'graham'. Then again, I have found out that lollipop ladies and men are not actually made out of lollipops.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Philip.
Hi Gary, I am quite sad at that, one less use for a graham!!! Howerver we still haven't addressed the "Cream Plus" and "Angel Flakes" issue. I like the idea of making some Nanaimo Bars, perhaps Mom could help?
ReplyDeleteFor a diabetic they look a tasty way of commiting suicide, just what a diabetic could have been looking for.
No, seriously, thought I could bring you a taste of home. Philip