A neighbour has a very noisy, aggressive Jack Russell terrier. On a number of occasions whilst out walking Penny, our beloved Jack Russell terrier, the very noisy, aggressive Jack Russell terrier has tried to attack Penny. The snarling and snapping of that dog is rather unsettling.
Each time Penny and I have encountered this dog while just trying to go for a peaceful walk, has ended up with Penny and I maintaining a calm demeanour. Penny does not react. I've been polite, good natured and courteous to the lady whose dog is causing so much aggravation. She's said, on numerous occasions, how much she appreciates me not making a fuss about it. I told her that I suppose her dog is trying to protect her. I think maybe her dog is jealous of Penny, what with Penny being a famous yet modest internet superstar!
Penny and I continued to go out for walks. We tried to keep our distance from her dog. Thought it best for all concerned. Yet, time after time, the lady would get very close to us with her aggressive little dog. The yapping of the dog is so loud that at times I'd have to speak louder just so the lady could hear me. My conversations with her were always pleasant, always cordial. I try to be a polite, respectful neighbour. Nobody needs the stress.
Last Wednesday morning I had a letter posted through my mailbox. Upon opening the letter I couldn't believe what I was reading. The letter stated that a neighbour of mine was lodging a complaint about me in regards to anti-social, aggressive and threatening behaviour. The neighbour said they felt intimidated by me. The letter went on explaining about what is acceptable behaviour within the housing community I now live in. I was in shock. I felt sick.
I phoned the person who'd sent the official letter of complaint. I told the lady on the phone that I would like a meeting with the person who had made such outrageous allegations. A few minutes later, the lady phoned me back and asked me if the next Tuesday at ten in the morning would be okay for a meeting with the person who accused me. I told her that was way too long and I needed to get the situation sorted as soon as possible. She phoned me back again and a meeting was arranged for the next morning, Thursday morning at ten.
At the meeting, the lady with the very noisy, aggressive Jack Russell terrier, was the one who had made the allegations. Staying very calm, I asked her why she had said such awful things about me. She responded by saying that I was yelling at her. To which I responded that I had to speak louder because her dog was barking so loud. I was actually trying to tell her that when she had been out of her apartment her dog was barking loudly. So much so that a fellow neighbour said he was going to lodge a complaint if it continued. I was only trying to warn her. I pointed out how kind I had always been to her and that this seemed to be a perception issue. She conceded that she had got it completely wrong, She apologised, over and over again.
The letter that I received was ceremoniously placed in the office shredder at my insistence. I hope that such a situation never happens again. I really don't need this. Especially when I'm struggling with my confidence and my mental health concerns. Such an incident, in my fragile state, could of set me back even further.
After the meeting, I thought about how I could turn such a negative experience into something positive. I talked to the supervisor at reception. I offered to help set up a blogging community within the apartment building. This was enthusiastically received. My idea will be in next month's community magazine.
On the Thursday evening, my doorbell rang. The lady who had made those horrible allegations against me was standing there with a box of chocolates. She apologised again and gave me a box of Swiss chocolates. A nice gesture and I hope that she's realised a lesson from all of this. Perception and reality can be such a fine line.
On Saturday evening, my doorbell rang again. This time, it was a dear older lady from across the hallway. Even though I made no mention of the meeting I'd had, somehow word had gotten around. She just wanted to see how I was because she was worried about me. She told me she'd vouch for my good nature. It turns out I'm not the only person that lady had lodged a complaint about. Rather ironically, she had made complaints against folks who have been very nice to her. I do understand that the lady in question has her own mental health issues. These, however, need to be addressed with her having the right support.
Yes, I had a sleepless night before that meeting. Playing over and over again in my mind what I could of possibly done wrong. A week later and I'm much calmer, especially knowing that my reputation as a kind, caring, well meaning man is truly intact.
Apologies for an unusually long post by my standards. I had to get it out of my system via the therapy that is my writing. Peace and goodwill to you, my friend.
Oh Gary.
ReplyDeleteHow absolutely awful. I wouldn't have slept either. I am so glad that you were able to have the meeting brought forward, and even more glad that the problem has been resolved. That poor sad woman, but her behaviour doesn't help anyone. I love that she was able to admit that she was wrong and apologise, and am pretty certain that your calm behaviour had a lot to do with that.
Hi Sue,
DeleteIt was a nightmare. Reading that letter made me feel very panicky. I was outraged and nervous at the same time. That poor lady needs to be watched carefully. I understand that she has mental health issues. However, her issues should not have such a devastating impact on other's lives. I continue to stay calm and have been polite and respectful to her all the way along. Thanks and my calm demeanour certainly helped.
In peace,
Gary
I'd be having a sleepless night too. I wonder why she could not see that you were shouting because her dog was too loud? Perhaps she is simply used to that level of volume from him. I'm surprised she didn't know her dog barked when she wasn't home. All of our neighbours told us when we had that problem.
ReplyDeleteI hope she gets the help she needs.
Hi River,
DeleteAnd we end up with a sleepless night when we haven't done anything wrong, can cause a bit of unwarranted paranoia. The lady seems to be in a different world than this one. She almost seems oblivious to her dog causing such a nuisance. I have been told that management of this communal building are aware of her dog and something should be done soon. I also hope she gets the attention she certainly needs.
Thank you, River.
Gary
Hi Gary - it sounds like you handled the situation amazingly well ... and that is so good to read. Such a difficult situation ... and so glad it's been diffused. As EL says it's good she was able to admit she was wrong and apologise and exactly - your calm behaviour had a lot to do with it.
ReplyDeleteWith thoughts and all the best - Hilary
Hi Hilary,
DeleteThank you and I stayed calm even though I was incensed at such horrible allegations. Calmness, when tempted to go ballistic, certainly seemed to have worked. She has been apologising ever since, but I'm still a bit cautious about how she reacts.
Hope you are having a lovely weekend and thank again, Hilary.
Gary
What an awful expereience you had Gary, I hope now peace reigns supreme in your neighbourhood.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Ps where I moved to back in February no one speaks, some times I can go days without seeing anyone.
Hi Yvonne,
DeleteIt was an awful experience and I'm the sort of person who keeps himself to himself. Never deliberately upset anybody. Just want a nice, peaceful life. That was the plan when I moved into this very nice, retirement living place.
I do know, however, what not seeing anybody for days at a time. I'm very shy these days and it takes courage to go outside. However, most of the folks in this building do have a casual natter with me.
I do hope you have a lovely weekend, Yvonne.
Gary
Sigh. It's just sad when people see the worst in everything other do, and then try to make other people miserable too.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you sorted it out, Gary.
Hi Misha,
DeleteIt's very sad when some people seem to get a kick out of causing misery to others. It sort of speaks volumes about their own lives that they have to stir up problems that weren't really there.
Thank you, Misha.
Gary
I didn't feel this was too long of a post, at all. Instead, it was interesting and personal. And it sounds like some good will come of things. Thanks for sharing this with us, Gary.
ReplyDeleteHi, The Happy Whisk,
DeleteThank and I appreciate what you've said. Always try to find the positive angle to negative situations. I think a good result will come of this.
Thank you, my kind friend.
Gary
I agree, it sounds like some good will come of things.
DeleteThank you for the follow up comment, The Happy Whisk. A good result is a must. I shall make it so :)
DeleteGary
Checking in to see how things are going?
DeleteHi Ivy,
DeleteHey, thanks for that. I've been struggling with this ongoing chronic fatigue. Gets very frustrating but I continue to challenge it. Thank you, my thoughtful friend.
Gary :)
Ugg, that sucks when things are taken the wrong way and cause stress for nothing. Sounds like she just wants attention or is always seeing the bad.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat Hatt,
DeleteI think you might well be right, good sir. I think the lady might well be somebody who likes to cause controversy. It draws attention to her for all the wrong reasons.
Thanks, Pat.
Gary
A horrible experience that you turned around with your kindness. I am so sorry that you had to go through this ordeal.
ReplyDeleteHi Arleen,
DeleteSuch horrible experiences can seemed to be balanced out when they get confused by kindness. Thank you for your comforting words. I'm fragile but not broken. It seems another challenge in my life I didn't actually want.
Have a great rest of your weekend, Arleen.
Gary
I'm so glad that this situation had a peaceful and satisfactory conclusion and your blogging idea is brilliant. It sounds like there are more nice people in your building than otherwise and it sounds as though it's the woman's problem, not all of yours. Still though it took a lot of guts for her to admit she was wrong and try to make it up to you. As I said on your Facebook, a lot of other people would continue to insist they were right.
ReplyDeleteHi JoJo,
DeleteThanks so much. I'm wary of being anywhere near that lady. However, I was confident that a peaceful, satisfactory conclusion would be had of such a distasteful situation. There are a number of older folks in the community I've moved into. The idea of incorporating some computer skills with a blog set up, might be most therapeutic to people here. Here's hoping. A lot of supportive people in this building. That was a great relief to know because I thought I was going out of my mind. I respect her for admitting she was wrong. It's sad she felt the need to report me instead of letting me know how she felt. You are so right about what you said on Facebook, JoJo.
Thanks and enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Gary
That was really blowing things out of proportion. If she'd lodged complaints about others before, that should have been a red flag to the person in charge. You handled it very well and with style, Gary.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane,
DeleteExactly and I believe she might well be a serial complainer. Management is now more aware of what she does. I suppose that they were just going through protocol when the posted me such a horrible letter. Hopefully, they will be more cautious in any further dealings with her. A lot of upset for nothing. Thank you for your kind words, Diane.
Have a peaceful rest of your weekend.
Gary
I am glad she recognised there was no real problem - as JoJo said, many people would not have admitted it.
ReplyDeleteBe well Gary.
Hi Jo,
DeleteIndeed and I hope she reflects and thinks before the reacts to situations that have no merit in lodging a complaint. It was quite the turn around by her and I respect that.
Thank you, Jo and have a nice rest of your weekend.
Gary
That's truly an unfortunate situation you had to deal with. Who needs that extra stress, right? But standing up for yourself by being cool, calm and collected saved the day!
ReplyDeleteHi Debra,
DeleteSuch an unfortunate situation that was only a situation that was based on some bizarre perception. We have enough stress in life without getting stressed out over things that beggar belief. That's me, Mr. Cool, eh! :)
Thank you, Debra. Have a pleasant rest of the weekend.
Gary
I'm sorry you had to go through this; I can only imagine the stress and anxiety it caused. I'm glad it all got sorted out. Staying calm during these incidences certainly makes a difference. It sounds like this woman has her own issues to deal with. I wonder if she has loved ones that can help her.
ReplyDeleteHi Martha,
DeleteThank you and I shall be just fine :) I struggle with my own mental health issues and that situation just compounded it all. It was a great relief that maintaining a calm dignity may well have worked. From what I've casually observed, she does have family that could help her. I've also noticed some other tenants accompanying her. When she came to my door, she had another lady with her. I believe that lady has been of great support to her. Hope that works out.
Thank you, Martha.
Gary
I'm sure your calmness helped the situation. If you'd responded in anger it would have all escalated. I hope you enjoyed the chocolates.
ReplyDeleteHi Annalisa,
DeleteI think it may well have. Quite correct because if I reacted in anger, it could of confirmed that she was right about me. Lindt Swiss chocolates and they were very nice :)
Thank you, Annalisa.
Gary
Yikes! I'm so proud you were able to tackle the issue head on and clear it up!! And it sounds like you've helped others as well by staying 'you'! Well done :)
ReplyDeleteHi Jemi,
DeleteThank you for your kind words, Jemi. I knew that such a ridiculous issue had to be resolved. The quicker, the better. I've had a few people tell me how shocked they were about what happened. It did hurt knowing that I always do my best to be kind and caring of others. Thankfully, people noticed that I'm a well meaning, respectful dude.
Thank you, Jemi. Have a good one, eh.
Gary
I felt your pain. I would not have slept well from receiving a letter like that. Furthermore, I am shocked that you would receive a letter like that before being able to tell your side and some sort of discovery of evidence to back up the accusation.
ReplyDeleteI've encountered those who would twist things deliberately or idly and it is never a pleasant situation.
I would blame her dogs bad behavior on her but alas, I have a Jack Russell mix. He is small, adorable and lives for the day he can kick some butt. Meanwhile, he hid behind my mother when my sister's Pomeranian wanted to tear him apart. He is not too much bite but a lot of talk.
Take care.
Plus tell Penny, a Jack Russell mix from the states is horning into her territory.
Hi Ann,
DeleteYou could sense how'd you feel in a similar situation. Most unpleasant and totally unjustified. Actually, I also wondered how a letter could be sent to me like that without a consultation with me.
Sadly, I too have encountered such people who seem to delight in distorting the truth just so they could stir trouble. Never understood such thinking. I think her dog's behaviour was something that was going to be, regardless of who the dog lived with. I realise her dog is an aggressive little creature. However, she could try harder to keep it at a safer distance from Penny. The dog is on one of those leads that's like a fishing line.
Penny is laid back dog. She welcomes a Jack Russell mix from the States. Heck, they could do a collaboration blog pawst, um, post.
Have a nice remainder of the weekend and thanks again, Ann.
Gary
I'm impressed by how well you handled this, but I'm sorry it happened to you. The only thing you should have to fend off is the occasional spit wad blown in your direction from the states. ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa,
DeleteThanks for that. When it came to the actual meeting, I was remarkably calm. I knew I'd done nothing wrong and handled the situation with dignity. Gosh, I thought that was rain from y'all :)
Thank you, Melissa.
Gary
Good that was resolved. And you got chocolates out of the deal.
ReplyDeleteHi Pat,
DeleteHopefully, it stays resolved. It was nice to get chocolates but not exactly the best of circumstances.
Have a good remainder of the weekend, Pat.
Gary
It's unfortunate that misunderstanding led to all of that, but I'm glad it was resolved. And it was nice of the woman to give you chocolates as an apology. That was nice of her. Still sucks that you had to deal with that, though. At least other neighbors vouched for you. Hopefully nothing like this will happen again.
ReplyDeleteHi Chrys,
DeleteMost unfortunate and quite surreal. I hope it's resolved. Just a little worried about how she interprets situations. I could tell she felt very guilty about what she's done to me. Thus, it was classy of her to apologise and bring me those chocolates. It was a relief to get such support from my neighbours. Oh yes, I sure hope nothing like that happens again.
Thank you, Chrys.
Gary
I would be very upset if someone complained about Franklin and me. We are pretty quiet and Franklin keeps me under control when we're out. It was kind that someone checked on you. No one would check on me. I've always said that when I die I'll only be discovered if the neighbors notice the odor. I have no doubt that you are always kind and polite. You're certainly nice when you leave comments on my blog. That other dog probably is jealous of a modest internet superstar.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Hi Janie,
DeleteThe lady was only complaining about me and my alleged nastiness towards her. Penny has me well trained. In fact, Penny is the epitome of doggy pawliteness :) Nobody usually checks on me. Yet, bless that dear old lady's heart. Somehow, a bit of gossip must of got around and she wanted to make sure I was okay. A lovely, thoughtful gesture. Otherwise, much like you, there's a good chance I'd be dead for several weeks before anybody noticed. Then they would put me in a big black bag and dump me in the local landfill.
I'm glad you are okay with my comments on your blog. I do worry as I wait for your approval to publish my stuff.
Yes, it really must be that the other dog is insanely jealous of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :)
Penny says hi and arf to Franklin.
Thank you, Janie.
Gary
How terrible.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful!
***I thought about how I could turn such a negative experience into something positive***
this woman had to meet you face to face, voice to voice...to realize how lovely you are!
And the chocolates! O' I LOVE!
What a great story! Xxx
Hi Kim,
DeleteYou have a wonderful way of seeing the positive balance that can be achieved. Of course, the lady has come to the realisation that I'm a polite, adorable dude who means no harm to man or beast. Chocolates and what a way to get chocolates!
Thank you, dear lady. Say hello to Mr. Liverpool for me :)
Gary xx :)
Klahanie, I know how hard that must have been for you to confront this neighbour. No doubt your anxiety was huge and setting up a meeting no doubt caused you a lot of stress. I am proud of you and hope you are proud of yourself. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Birdie,
DeleteSuch warm, thoughtful words, my kind friend. My anxiety, which was not justified, was to the point I thought I was going to pass out with the awful stress. Thanks for being proud of me. I'm proud of me, to ;)
I do hope you read my reply. I cannot find your blog now. When I try to get to it, I get this message, Profile Not Available The Blogger Profile you requested cannot be displayed."
Thank you, Birdie and have a lovely rest of your weekend.
Gary
Sounds like you did all the right things and came out of the situation smelling like a rose. It's not easy to face up to things like that. You did very well.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteI like to think I did. Of course, a situation I couldn't believe was even happening. I shall change my name to Rose :) I appreciate you thoughtful, supportive comment, Delores.
Have a great rest of your weekend.
Gary
You get a GOLD MEDAL my dear friend!!! I would never, ever been able to handle that in the calm manner that YOU did! I salute you and I am NOT kidding.
ReplyDeleteI was livid just reading this, so I can imagine how you had to have felt.
That woman is lucky you didn't lodge a complaint about her dog.
It is just awful to think that if you hadn't scheduled a face-to-face meeting (which by the way is pure GENIUS and I am going to keep this in mind should anything arise from my big mouth in our apt complex lol) who knows what would have happened.
I just adore you. I think you are incredibly strong and I pray that some of your calm, patience and logic transfer on to me!
You should be BEYOND proud of yourself, I probably would have wanted to kill her.
You are a true gentleman and I am blessed and honored to know you (even if it is only online)
(((((hugs)))) and love!
Hi Caren,
DeleteWow and thanks for the gold medal, lovely Caren :) I was very much livid at that outrageous allegation. I also knew I had to maintain an air of calmness. After all, I could of come across as actually being a loud, aggressive individual.
I told her that I could of easily complained about her dog and that's what made it even more unbelievable she complained about me.
I was insistent that we had a face-to-face meeting. I cannot allow somebody to defame my character in such a way. For if I did, others might start assuming that I was somebody to stay clear of. I was worried that potential gossip within this community would spread about me in a derogatory manner. I couldn't let that happen.
I'm sure if you have a complex situation in your complex, you will be more than capable of maintaining a calm, cool demeanour. Stating your case and asking the other person why they did what they did, works wonders for me.
Thank you and yes, I'm proud of myself for not going in to anger overdrive. I had every right to be that way. Confuse them with kindness, I say.
Bless you and all you do, Caren. Stay special and hugs from this side of the swamp ;)
Gary :) x
Oh lordy. I HATE confrontation of any kind and a letter like that is just horrible. I'm glad things work out for the best. This is why I like animals better than people!
ReplyDeleteHi Stephanie,
DeleteYou and I both. Confrontation and a letter that was beyond belief, is something I would like to distance from my usually peaceful, pleasant life. Our animals friends can teach us lessons about being non-judgemental. I hear you on liking animals better than people ;)
Thank you, Stephanie.
Gary
That is such a sad story. For your part, I can imagine that it would be jarring to be accused like that. You have my sympathies. The woman who accused you, who apparently has some issues, that is what really makes me sad. I hope she gets the help or positive attention she needs.
ReplyDelete"Perception and reality can be such a fine line." Oh how true. Still not sure I now that line.
It sounds like you did the right thing...based on your account and all. Regardless, I understand your mental self-flagellation.
I hope you understand that, despite the mental anguish of others, that you are not on the hook for their well-being. It seems that you did right, despite scattershot accusations.
Finally, don't apologize for the length of this post, filled with human foibles helping us to understant the human condition, when I wrote a similarly-lengthy post about the horror of the movie Top Gun of all things.
Hi Pickleope Von Pickleope,
DeleteA sad story that didn't have to happen. It ripped at my very being having such awful allegations against me. Yes, you would be right. She needs help and should be taking advantage of all the positive resources on offer for her.
Thanks for your obvious understanding of how this impacted on my own mental and oh so fragile, mental health well being.
Being a mental health counsellor in the past, it is most definitely understood that a person cannot use their own mental health condition as a convenient way to get away with behaviour that can cause undue stress to others. I knew there was a delicate balance involved with a woman who is plainly not well.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't apologise for my lengthier than usual ramblings. I guess it's because I know that a lot of folks read a lot of blogs. Just didn't want to have somebody potentially skim through and get to the best bits. Then again, I've highlighted the best bits in some of my past posts just to make it easier for the reader :)
Are you ready for the sequel to Top Gun? Time for another lengthy post from your good self, perhaps.
Thank you, my kind friend.
Gary
What a miserable experience. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm understand the sleepless night(s).
ReplyDeleteI've had similar experiences while walking my dogs around my neighborhood. We come across many irresponsible dog parents who believe it's all right to allow their dogs to charge my dogs. However, when it happens, I'm never polite about it. I should learn from your good example.
Hi M.J.,
DeleteA miserable experience I wouldn't wish on anybody. The sleepless night could of turned into sleepless nights if I hadn't got that meeting sorted out as quick as I did.
Those who are irresponsible with their dogs do need to be told in a polite manner. Sadly, it seems in a number of such cases, the irresponsible dog parent is somebody who is just a nasty, inconsiderate person. The type who probably doesn't clean up after their dog.
I do my best to remain polite. Even the time her dog was running free at the park and tried to attack poor Penny.
Thank you, my friend. A peaceful rest of the weekend to you.
Gary
It's wonderful that you have made something positive out of this awful experience - and I love that another lady came to check you were okay xx
ReplyDeleteHi Teresa,
DeleteOf course, I really didn't wish for a reason to make a positive out of a negative. That awful experience at least gave me the chance to pass on an idea about blogging within this community setting. Would not of mentioned it normally because I'm hardly around reception in the morning.
It was some reassuring when that other lady came to check to see if I was okay..
Thank you, Teresa.
Gary :) x
Dear Gary I commented it disappeared. In short I happy for your positive outcome. You have lucky neighbours. Big virtual hug
ReplyDeleteDear Ida,
DeleteHow lovely to see you, my kind friend. Delighted this comment showed up. Hate that when they vanish. Thanks for being happy in my positive outcome to a horrible situation. I'm lucky to have a majority of decent neighbours.
And a big virtual hug back to you.
Thank you, Ida.
Gary
You dealt with a horrible situation in a wonderful way. I've dealt with my share of jerks, snitches, complainers, and the like. I try not to lose sleep over them, although I'm still affected by them from time to time.
ReplyDeleteHi Medeia,
DeleteYou do try to not let those who would cause havoc in your life get the better of you. I knew that I would be seen as totally innocent and yet, I still had a terrible, restless night. Those professional complainers do my head in.
Thank you, Medeia. Enjoy your Sunday.
Gary
What a shallow thing to do. She could've just talked to you first. Sounds like is POTP - Part of the Problem - around there.
ReplyDeleteGlad it worked out in your favor. And hope it never happens again.
Hi Alex,
DeleteExactly, good sir! I suppose she thought she couldn't discuss it with me based on her bizarre perception of me being an anti-social character. Yes, I'm getting enough feedback to know she's the root cause of some unneeded tension around here. I believe that management are now monitoring the situation with her more closely.
Thanks and here's to it never happening again.
May you and your good wife enjoy the rest of your well deserved holiday, my friend.
Gary
Diplomacy doesn't always work Gary but it is always the best option. Well done you!
ReplyDeleteCLICK HERE for Bazza’s fabulous Blog ‘To Discover Ice’
Hi Barry,
DeleteTact and diplomacy is usually the best option. Yes, I kept my cool when I was outraged. Not sure I could be diplomatic with that deluded idiot, David Cameron!
Cheers, Barry.
Gary
Well Mr G I hope you are now feeling OK and it good to know that folk are on your side about this. My daughter used to take her dog into a park for a walk, it was a large beast but very placid, one day it was attacked by three smaller dogs owned by a local woman who had no control over them. My daughter complained and the police were informed and the woman warned to keep them on a lead. About two week later my daughter saw the dogs in the park again and managed to get through a gate before the dogs tried to attack her dog. However a little old lady walking her own small dog got attacked instead and the three dogs injured the small dog so badly it had to be put down. The woman with the three dogs had left the scene but the police turned up at her house and the three dogs were put down. . . . So in all four dogs died because of one bad owner.
ReplyDeleteHi Rob,
DeleteI'm much better now, thank you, Rob. Having support from others who have know of this lady and her tendency to complain for complain's sake, made be feel like my decent reputation was intact.
Your story is one so tragic and to think that four dogs ended up dying because of one very irresponsible lady, is an absolute disgrace. I'm sorry to have read this.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend, good sir.
Gary
You handled yourself with grace and dignity in a difficult situation. And the way others responded to you gives me hope that humanity is not quite lost in this world.
ReplyDeleteHi Anne,
DeleteI sure do try to be that way. Sometimes it's a challenge when a situation like that happens. I was terrified that I would get a reputation for something that never happened. Yes, with the kind words of support by others within this community, it does give one faith in humanity.
Thank you, my lovely friend.
Gary
I was so impressed that you maintained your calm throughout this nonsense. You have proved your mettle, as they say. Now take a deep breath. Relax. Be proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHi Liza,
DeleteI thank you for such supportive words, dear Liza. I'm taking a deep breath and relaxing. I realise that letting negative energy overwhelm me will impact on my right to a peaceful life.
Thank you, Liza. Have a pleasant Sunday.
Gary
You handled this unstable neighbor with such tact and kindness. I wonder if she has ever had someone like you help calm her down.
ReplyDeleteThis was such a destructive issue that could have brought you down, but you rose above it. So very impressed and proud of you.
Hi Susan,
DeleteAnd thank you for you thoughtful words, Susan. Although I put her in a calmed frame of mind, I'm not so sure how successful others have been with her. I know that it cannot be used as an excuse that she mental health issues that need to be controlled with the medication conducive to her diagnosed condition.
That potentially destructive issue came close to setting me back. I've gone a long ways challenging my mental health issues. Nobody can stop me now. Such audacity to impose on my well being will not be tolerated.
Thank you for your kind words. A lovely rest of the weekend to you and your loved ones.
Gary
My dear friend,
ReplyDeleteHow could this happen? This woman sounds like one of those that likes to be in the center of drama. As I was reading, I felt you handled yourself in a very positive manner despite the negative vibes floating around. You handled the situation with tact and that is hard to do when some one throws a curve ball at us. My friend I am very proud of you for rising above her nonsense.
Here is a ((hug)) just for you...you are amazing and don't let anyone let you feel less...
love and light always...
Greetings, my lovely friend,
DeleteI have to be careful in how I word this. The lady in question has perception problems that are more than likely due to her having a recognised mental health diagnosis. If she's not taking her medication, it can cause others to be severely impacted. Me, being of a fragile state, got caught in the crossfire.
I thank you for your kind, comforting words. I know that life is about choices. Thus, my choice was my determination to not give a negative environment, permission to sabotage my right to a peaceful life. I'm heartened by what you have stated.
Thank you for your hug and thus, I return an embrace in kind.
Peace, love and hope, your way.
Gary :)
Hi Gary,
DeleteSo tell me how are things now in the neighborhood? Are you and Penny able to enjoy your walks? You are kind soul....:-)
Hey Truedessa,
DeleteMy neighbourhood is mostly peaceful, thank you. It's a pity that the lovely Penny and I, her alleged human, have to be on our guard for our neighbour and her dog from hell! :) We are managing to go for walks which include the one seen in my header photo. Thankfully, those two don't seem to go there.
Ah yes, I of the kind soul and you of the poetic, passionate heart. Thank you, my amazing friend.
Gary :)
So sorry you had to experience such a painful and distressing situation. I can well imagine how upsetting it was. Your calmness and kindness helped you through and it sounds like you have been able to find some positive outcomes with your ideas for a community blog. I wish you peaceful happy times ahead, Gary. My best to little Penny too.
ReplyDeleteHi Suzanne,
DeleteThanks for your kind comment, Suzanne. I felt physically ill from reading such a letter with such horrible allegations. I do try to maintain an air of dignity and respect for all I meet. Shall try and proceed with a community blog or community library, as we called it when I was involved with one with a mental health charity. Peaceful, happy times ahead for you also, my lovely friend. Penny thanks you kindly :)
Thank you, Suzanne.
Gary :)
I can't imagine receiving such a letter, but you're right this poor woman is ill. Still, if something like that happened to me I'd be devastated. I'm so glad you got things taken care of sooner than later, too. A community blog will get you the support you need and the street cred your neighbors will admire The other little pooch was trying to warn Panny and you to stay away, he/she knew the trouble this poor woman could cause. :) Be well, be happy, and don't stress - you've made new friends and your blog will help others in your new community. Wishing you nothing but the best for future walks!
ReplyDeleteHi Yolanda,
DeleteI can imagine if you received such a letter, dear Yolanda, you would indeed be devastated and feeling sick from it all. I could not imagine spending six sleepless nights worrying about what the hell I'd actually done wrong. I was insistent, in a very polite way, that it got rectified promptly. A community blog, or other tenants getting involved in having their own blog, would empower me in such a positive way. I told the lady in a very pleasant way that her female dog was trying to protect her from Penny and I. The lady does need extra help because it's impacting on the well being of others. Thank you, Yolanda and my stress levels have lowered. An ongoing, satisfactory outcome has to happen. We are doing our best to stay far away from her dog and the problems that happen. Here's to happy walks, just like the good old days.
Cheers, Yolanda.
Gary :)
Gary, never scary, always flairy... In my experience, perception and reality are the exact same thing and when our views clash, we've got tension in the house. I'm sorry to hear this happeed to you. I won't bore you with my stories, but I assure you I know what it's like. I wish I could erase those moments. How come such an eraser has not yet been invented?
ReplyDeleteHi Penny! You sweet dog :)
Howdy Blue,
DeleteYes, Blue, I agree with you. Remember times when I was agreeing with my then wife and she'd still argue with me. Perception and reality intertwined into some surreal show. I really do sense you can relate, my Blue buddy. Of course, in the UK they call an "eraser", a "rubber". I shall leave it at that! :)
*Arf! human, Blue!*
Gary :)
Hello Gary,
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog. What a blessing! You know, I admire how you addressed the situation. Kindness always prevails. On another note, whomever takes care of the complaints for the community should know that your neighbor is not well. I hope they will speak to her, first, before forwarding any complaints, in the future. She is lonely and crying out for help. Her terrier is her cry. Dogs know and they will protect you. Hopefully, she will find someone to talk to and help mend her heart. Maybe, then, she can begin to train her precious terrier. Sending joy, prayers and blessings to you and your sweet Penny, as well as your neighbor. Glad to have found your blog. Cynthia
P.S. I am in the process of "walking the path of recovery" with someone I hold dear to my heart. I've learned that our perception is our reality. Much joy~
Hello Cynthia,
DeleteMy kind new friend, lovely to meet you. Kindness, calmness and interaction has hopefully created a positive, hopeful result for the future of all concerned within this new community. You're absolutely correct. The management should discuss her allegations beforehand and take on board that she has mental health issues that she needs help with. Although I come from an empathetic level on this, I also know that one cannot use a condition as an excuse for unreasonable behaviour. All around suffer because of such situations. I should never have had a letter of complaint in the first place. It should of been discussed discreetly with me.
I've no doubt that she is lonely and her dog is therapeutic comfort. Her dog reacts in a way to protect her. This be true. She could also try a bit harder to keep her dog under control when near my beloved dog, Penny. Penny does not react but that dog's snarling is a worry. All shall be as it should be.
The path of recovery, if anything like mine, has the occasional pothole. Yet, each time, we climb out and continue on undaunted. Perception embraced as a genuine reality is a wondrous thing, my thoughtful friend.
Delighted to have had you visit. I shall duly come and visit you.
In peace and good wishes,
Gary :)
Yep, nothing like writing to get all those feels out of you and worked out. It is fantastic therapy. That situation would have stressed me out as well, but I think you handled it very well. Good job! It's nice that Allegation Lady came by with chocolates and such, but her behavior with you and other residents makes me wonder if she doesn't do that kind of thing for attention. As you said, she has her own mental health issues, and I really hope that she can get them addressed before her tendency to make claims against friendly people really backfires on her and causes trouble. I am glad to hear that your reputation is solid and widespread. I've come to find that when you are genuinely well-meaning and kind to others, people tend to notice.
ReplyDeleteHi Cassandra,
DeleteHow write, um, right you are, Cassandra :) Writing is therapy and a powerful form of verbalisation. I'm of a very sensitive, fragile nature. The stress could of set me back months in my own struggle with mental health well being. I challenged myself to have such an audacious allegation cleared up. The Allegation Lady does seem to crave some sort of bizarre attention. It turns out that she was upset that I was upset over the letter I received! As if I wouldn't be upset and very hurt by it all. I have been informed that the supervisory staff within this communal setting are becoming further aware that she needs additional help. This is due to her making complaints against people just for the sake of it. She desperately needs help and I'd like to help her, despite how much she hurt my feelings.
Kindness, courtesy, respect and sincerity is usually noted in life. And when somebody complains about you that implies the exact of opposite of your temperament, it's so heart warming when folks come and support you.
Thank you for such wise, thoughtful words, Cassandra.
Gary :)
Wow, this is unbelievable. I wouldn't have slept either and I'm so glad this was all able to be resolved without any further stress for you. I'm so glad the neighbor lady came to see you after word got out and offered her support - that had to make you feel better about the whole situation. Sorry you had to go through all this. Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteHi Julie,
DeleteI was shocked beyond words. I recall a similar situation where somebody made up allegations against me at one of my jobs within the mental health field. The allegations against me back then were proven totally made up. Yet, despite that, the person got to keep their job and I couldn't work there any more because of it. So, to get a somewhat repeat episode just about turned me into an emotional wreck.
I'm hoping that a calmness will prevail. The support I received from shocked neighbours made me feel so much better. I just wish that lady would get better because she may well encounter somebody who is not as understanding.
Thank you, dear Julie. Hugs back to you.
Gary :)
Just the kind of misunderstanding that leads to conflicts between people all the time. Very unpleasant to be sure. What I find amazing is that you were able to sit down and resolve it amicably. That's quite a feat. Congratulations and I hope this is the end to any more unpleasant exchanges. One thing seems very positive--your other neighbors have shown kindness and concern. You might not have had that without this incident.
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
DeleteIndeed and a misunderstanding that shouldn't of even been a misunderstanding. I hate hassles and controversy. Thanks and even though I was seething inside, I maintained a calm demeanour during the meeting. Besides, if I'd gone ballistic, it would of sort of confirmed that maybe I'm a loud-mouthed, anti-social undesirable. I just want a peaceful life and I always considerate of my neighbours. It was heartening that my neighbours came to my defence. Although the one neighbour who came over to make sure I was okay, has always been kind and caring from the outset. Generally, I love my new place and the folks who live here. That one lady needs to be helped before she causes more people unwarranted stress.
Thank you, my kind friend.
Gary
Wow, at least she tried to make amends. But, for crying out loud, why wasn't she man enough (not a terribly accurate metaphor, I know) to talk to you face to face without writing a poison pen letter?
ReplyDeleteHi Al,
DeleteOh yeah, at least she tired to make amends. You are completely correct, my good friend. I had seen her on a number of occasions after the alleged incident. She could of discreetly told me of her concerns instead of having me receive that poison pen letter. Some folks seem to enjoy stirring the shit, it seems.
Thank you, Al.
Gary
I think she must be a timid person, being that she lets her dog be so aggressive and doesn't try to discipline him. Perhaps she's a bit frightened of her dog and is someone who frightens easily, and that is why she misconstrued your conversation. At least she was sincere in her apologies. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Lexa,
DeleteShe might be somewhat of a timid person. Although whenever I see her, she is very loud and animated to everybody she sees. It actually seems she is somewhat oblivious of her dog's behaviour. Her dog has been running free in the local park and her dog ran over to Penny and tried to attack her. The lady didn't react to the situation. I gently moved Penny away from her dog. There had been many a time I had to speak louder to her because of her yapping dog. So why she chose to make an exception that one time just totally puzzles me. I was relieved and grateful for what I hope is a sincere apology.
Thank you, Lexa.
Gary ;)
Oh, Gary, I'm very sorry. The housing admin is at fault, along with the troubled lady, for indulging her non-stop complaints. I had a similar situation recently with being called "rude" and more by an obnoxiously rude person. Projection - a most basic, immature form of communication. I had a therapist tell me something I strongly believe and will always hold onto: "Mental illness is no excuse for rudeness." There's no excuse for subjecting a kind soul like you to any undue stress.
ReplyDeleteHugs and love from across the pond.
Hi Robyn,
DeleteThank you, dear lady. Yes, the housing administration have to take some blame for this. They should not have forwarded such a letter to me in the first place. The warning signs of behaviour have been apparent for quite some time.
It always seem to be irony at its finest that an obnoxiously rude person would accuse you of being rude. Those with the issues have a tendency to try and reflect it back onto you. It can be an absolute nightmare, dear Robyn.
Your therapist is most assuredly correct. Of course, you realised that anyway. I could easily hide behind my named diagnosis and be totally inappropriate. Yet, I shall never use my illness as an excuse. My mental illness is only a small part of who I am. Too bad there are those who think they can be rude just because they have mental health concerns.
Thank you for your thoughtful, wise words, Robyn.
Hugs, love and peace from across the swamp!
Gary :)
You're very nice about this lady, but she and her evil Jack Russell make me grouchy. I'm glad it all worked out in the end, and that your other neighbor was caring and checked on you. If this woman has made false reports on other people, I'm stunned that they take them seriously anymore.
ReplyDeleteHi Shannon,
DeleteThanks and yes, if anything, I was probably too nice. Her Jack Russell is a nasty little dog and out of control. It's heartening that my other neighbour came to make sure I was okay. The management within this community have to now take notice that this lady is a case of the lady who cried wolf. If something really does happen, she might not be believed.
Thank you, Shannon. Have a nice weekend.
Gary :)
I agree with Shannon, you are VERY nice - this would have pissed me off to no end. But sadly, there are so many rude people who complain about other people! Good for you for being patient. I'm glad she apologized, but still think she is an asshat.
ReplyDeleteHi Riot Kitty,
DeleteSometimes I think I might be too nice. Maybe a reason for some troubled lady to defame my character. It seems so folks like to stir the bullshit just for the sake of causing stress and anxiety to others. Yes, it seems a genuine apology. I just don't want to make a habit of apologising. Yes, in retrospect, she's an asshat for what she put me through!
Thank you, my kind friend and have a good weekend.
Gary :)
Gary your experience just goes to prove that responding to anger with anger is rarely the bestcourse. It takes a strong man to control themselves so great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Maurice,
DeleteYour words are greatly appreciated, kind sir. Although I was seething with anger over the whole preposterous situation, I do realise that keeping a calm dignity is usually the best approach. Thank you that.
Have a peaceful weekend, Maurice.
Gary :)
Unfortunately stupid neighbors are found in almost every neighborhood. My poor dog has been to the vet from an attack and that was when we lived in a posh, gate-guarded community! 13 staples later.... Now we live in a regular place with dogs running wild and homeowners spewing ridiculous stuff all the time. God help us all.
ReplyDeleteHi Eve,
DeleteStupid neighbours causing aggravation seems to be on the increase. Maybe it's boredom on their behalf but it's no excuse. That's just awful what happened to your dog. Thankfully, I've managed to ward off my neighbour's dog in the otherwise peaceful community. Still, we shouldn't have to be doing such things.
Thank you, Eve. Have a peaceful remainder of your weekend.
Gary
Hi Gary!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you. Just goes to show that keeping your cool pays off every time. And maybe that lady has a little different outlook now. Good job all around!
Laura
x
Hi Laura,
DeleteThank you, my kind friend. I do like to think that keeping a cool head when I was actually outraged, did hopefully bring such ridiculous situation to a positive conclusion. Sadly, that lady still seems to be acting up with others. Thank you, once again. Laura.
Gary :)
x
Dear Gary, I can hardly believe what I’m reading, I can only begin to image how distressed you must have been. I’m so glad it all ended on a positive note, go on being the lovely kind, caring person you obviously are and try not to let this get you down. xx
ReplyDeleteHi Barbara,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful words, Barbara. I've try to not let it get to me. My feelings were hurt big time by such a load of rubbish. I will, however, maintain the dignity and the decency that is my ethos.
I appreciate what you've said. Have a peaceful day, my dear friend.
Gary :) xx
I am so glad you did not have to wait a week for the meeting. That would have been a torture. Thank goodness you were able to meet and resolve the situation. How sad that the complaint was filed by someone you had gone out of your way to be kind to and that she wrote a complaint after one misunderstanding. You have a great attitude about the whole thing and I like the blogging idea. Way to make lemonade from lemons. :)
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for you that you have had to go through this stressful experience- but you are an inspiration with the way you handled everything.
~Jess
Hi Jess,
DeleteIt would have been an intolerable wait and that's for sure. There does seem to be an irony that somebody who I've been so nice and understanding to could do such a thing to me. There had been numerous occasions that I had to speak a bit louder because of her unruly dog. Yet, why she decided to make that one exception is baffling. Turning something negative into something positive is something I always strive for. I do see a great sense of community if I can help some folks become part of a blogging set up. Here's to some nice lemonade :)
Thank you for your kind, supportive words, Jess.
Gary :)
Sometimes an unpleasant situation can result in good friendships once an understanding has been achieved. A box of Swiss chocolates is a nice start.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
Hi Lee,
DeleteI know what you mean. I've formed friendships from adversity in the past. It was heartening to have her apologise and me getting those Swiss chocolates. Sadly, I know I have to keep a safe distance from her. I've been informed she is causing a number of people grief.
Thank you, good sir.
Gary
Hey Gary :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that there was a "happy ending" to this post, because I got a little worried... that lady really does seem to have some anger/aggression issues of her own, and I'm so proud of you for *keeping* the high road and sticking to your principles - and Penny, too!!
You'd always be a neighbor I'd treasure to have, mate :)
Best wishes,
Mark
Hey Mark!
DeleteA happy ending, I hope, to a most surreal situation that had really freaked me out. I do realise that the lady has a number of issues due to her mental health condition. However, one cannot use a mental health condition as an excuse for such intolerable behaviour. I think it's the calm demeanour of Penny that helped me keep calm. Yep, she's the wise one! :)
It's a wonderful day in the neighbourhood as I greet that amazing neighbour buddy of mine, Mazza! :)
Cheers, Mark. You are a good dude!
Gary
Since you turned comments off on your latest post, I'm commenting here to let you know I caught that post within ten minutes thanks to the my strategic placement of clones...
ReplyDeleteAha and I wonder if it's Alex commenting or one of his strategically placed clones. Thank you Alex, or thank you, clone.
DeleteGary, or is it?
Heartfelt hugs to your versatile, creative self. And yes, you do shine for rather a lot of us.
ReplyDeleteHi Sue,
DeleteThank you so much, my kind, caring friend. You shine like a positive beacon, Sue, for which I'm most grateful.
Gary
I hate it when things like that happen. You feel completely helpless. I'm so happy that it is turning out the right way and it sounds like you will also be making some new friends. The silver lining is working for you.
ReplyDeleteGive my regards to the good Jack Russell....Penny.
Hi Manzanita,
DeleteYou are so right. You feel helpless and cannot fathom how such a situation could transpire. Thanks and yes I'm happy, most relieved, that it seems to have come to an amicable conclusion. I was pleasantly surprised how many friends I actually have here. Nice to know that folks observe me for how I really am. Realistic positive anticipation, all the way! :)
Penny thanks you and she says,"arf!"
Hugs, dear lady,
Gary
I'm sorry I'm late. Don't reply. I just wanted to say how very proud I am. Can't help it. Very few people would have conducted themselves in such an honourable way.
ReplyDeleteHi Joylene,
DeleteYou are never late, my lovely friend :) I shall not reply to your comment. Thus, you wont be able to read how grateful I am for your kind, supportive comment, Joylene.
Gary :)
Good Moaning Gary
ReplyDeleteI should say Allo Allo of course. Found your blog viea Michelle (All Consuming) so I just popped in to see what you're about.
Glad I did, and I'll be keeping an eye out for your posts from now on.
However, I have to be perfectly blunt and say that I'm NOT amused. And you deserved all you got, (chocolates included).
Why, I hear you cry, am I NOT amused. Well, I'll tell you: TOO MANY COMMENTS TO WADE THROUGH, that's why!
I thought your story of the cranky old biddy with the over-aggressive dog was brilliantly described. Top marks there dear chap. So beautifully wroted, err writted, expressed is what I mean.
And then you go and spoil it all with a multitude of comments. But I know your game; oh yes I do. You write 'em all yourself, don't you. These are all fake comments, and I shall be making a formal complaint to the Blogger-in-Chief about this. And I shall NOT be sending you a box of Lindt choccies should I be proved wrong in my allegations. So there, put THAT in your pipe and ... you know the rest.
Seriously though, I have decided that you are in my top ten in the Blogosphere. Nice meeting you.
Phil.
Greetings Philip,
DeleteAllo' Allo' to you, good sir. Delighted you would pop over after popping into the lovely Michelle's blog site. You might have realised that Michelle is one of my zillions of adoring fans. Yep and then I woke up....
Ah and thus, one is not amused. You are most definitely good at perfectly blunt. Blunt to perfection. The chocolates, at least, didn't taste like the glorified wax they try to pass off as chocolate over in North America.
Indeed, it takes some serious scrolling to actually get to the comments section. By that time, you have to scroll back up to reread any possible best bits. By the time you scroll back down to the comments section, you find you have forgotten what you want to say as a comment. It goes on and on, my new and illustrious friend.
Yet you somehow picked up on the main bits in my rambling rant. I writed betterer since I got me some writting advice from the pawfect pawblisher aka the dawg who is actually the true superstar of this shy, humble site.
If you like, I can send you to the "Blogger Information Hotline." They have loads of handy tips about blogging in general. Of course, it takes several hours before you actually get to speak to anybody.
You are completely correct in regards to the fake comments and replies. I mean, it was me that left the above comment and then this fake reply which doesn't really exist.
Thank you, my esteemed friend. Nice to be in your top ten in Blogsville. I shall now grace your site. Hang onto your bowler hat, old chap!
Gary :)