When is that light going to change?
How come that right after you clean the car, the spider webs have returned to the mirror in a matter of seconds?
The light's still red. Might as well have a snooze........"Hello my millions upon millions of adoring fans. Yes, perfectly understandable that you consider my blog to be a must-read. I know how you eagerly wait for my cherished postings. Sing and dance, my adoring fans. Celebrate the fact that you have the pleasure of reading my blogs............*BEEP!* ....*BEEP!* ....Huh? What's happening?"
*BEEP!*.... *BEEP!* .... I looked in my rear-view mirror and there was some dude in a car gesticulating. Yes, gesticulating as in waving his arms in a frantic fashion. "Oops, sorry dude!" Finally, yes finally, the light had changed to green! Time to get going.........................
NOOOOOooooooo!!!!
The trick to keeping the green light on long enough to move the car through is to pretend you don't see it. Looking at a green light is an immediate tip-off that it needs to turn red again.
ReplyDeleteAs for your spider problem, draw a picture of a ferocious spider on the mirror with eyebrow pencil. It will scare the real spiders away. You won't be able to see out your mirror but it'll be web-free. :)
Hi Laura,
DeleteI tried your suggestion. Now I seem to be stuck in permanent amber. I used an eyebrow pencil on the mirror. Trouble is the real spider is now trying to have sex with the drawing. Not like I'd watch or anything!
A good weekend to you. I shall probably spend mine sleeping in the car! :)
Gary
Excuse me...but,um...you know, that sign only reads: "Wait here until green light shows." It doesn't really give directions on what to do WHEN the green light shows. Or...is everyone supposed to know what to do WHEN the green light shows? What is it that the green light shows? Or does the green light give a show? Like in cinemas? Film? Photographers? Cameramen...or maybe reporters? Such as...
ReplyDeleteGreetings, cybernut friend! This is I.B. Nosey, your official unofficial reporter...and the green light now shows. Heh heh.
Hi I.B Nosey,
DeleteYou are excused. You make an excellent pedantic point. I'm impressed. Maybe I'm doing the right thing by just sitting here and observing the pretty colours of the traffic light. Speaking of green lights, why don't we have a green light district?
Me thinks your comment might well be an official, unofficial report to my official, unofficial blog site. Ha ha and ha!
Must go now. Yikes, the car stalled.....
Gary :)
lol - When did you move to my town, Klahanie?
ReplyDeleteHi M.J.,
DeleteI moved to your town quite some time ago. I came along with the mystery road workers who don't actually do any work except set up temporary traffic lights!
Enjoy your weekend. I'm going to listen to the car stereo. Oh no, more bubblegum music!
Gary :)
LOL! Hope you managed to eventually get through the light :)
ReplyDeleteHi BZ Dogs,
DeleteNope, still waiting for the light to turn to green again! :)
A pleasant weekend to you. Let's have another read through the car manual.
Gary :)
I wonder how much more gesticulating that man did after the light changed red again?? They need to not make people wait so long. I know the longer I sit there, the more likely I'll become distracted by doing something else. Not that either!
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
Hi Shannon,
DeleteHeck, he's still gesticulating! Got out and had a nice chat with him. When he realised how famous I was, he begged for my autograph. While giving him my autograph, the light turned green. We dashed back into our cars and yep, the light turned red again. Gosh, I wonder what sort of distractions you might get up to. Of course, not that!
Enjoy your weekend, Shannon. Gee, wonder what this knob does....
Gary :)
Some traffic lights on this side of the world are evil. They KNOW who is coming and turn red, and stay red. There is a set of lights not far from our home which in twenty years has TWICE been green when we reached them. Truly. Those lights hate us.
ReplyDeleteGidday Elephant's Child,
DeleteOops, maybe it has got something to do with driving on the left side of the road. Perhaps there's a traffic light conspiracy against us who drive on that side of the road. Perhaps what I just wrote made no sense at all. I suppose you have to go to that set of lights every ten years :) We need a red traffic light support group.
A lovely weekend to you, my friend.
Gary :)
Those three way lights have sprung up all over the place. The trick is to get a bike and just ignore the red lights - that's how it works round here apparently, while we drivers have to wait and wait and wait - mutter mutter :-) x
ReplyDeleteHi Teresa,
DeleteThose um "temporary" traffic lights are everywhere these days. Strangely enough, I had taken my son to work and his bike had been in my car. Instead of him taking his bike out of my car to ride home that evening, I should of kept it and done as you suggest. Hope you have a red light free weekend.
Gary :) x
LOL!! Oh you missed the change of lights! LOL!! No more bubble gum music for you! :-) Take care
ReplyDeletex
Hi Old Kitty,
DeleteI was reading your comment and the light turned green, no, it's red again! Help me! :) Time to switch back on the stereo..."Sugar, sugar......" Ughhhhhh!!
A sunny weekend to you.
Gary
x
Aloha Gary,
ReplyDeleteWell should your journey ever bring you to Hawaii, you'll love that 98% of *all* drivers drive with *aloha*
You'll definitely catch the green light - but will be stuck as driver's continuously let others in and out of traffic or side streets:)
Hi Mark,
DeleteJust have to turn the car stereo down. Coincidentally, they were playing the theme tune to, "Hawaii Five-O".
And I wonder if the other 2% drive with a lei :) Aha.
It seems that drivers being courteous can actually get you stuck on green.
A no doubt sunny weekend to you, good sir.
Gary :)
At least the sign doesn't say "Wait Here Until Green Light Shows Red." which confused me at first because that's exactly what I thought it said. And I then thought...strange, why wait at a green light? Apparently, I like to add extra words and see weird things when I read your posts. *puts down cup of tea, eyes it suspiciously*
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't clean your car. Problem solved!
Happy Friday Gary and have a lovely weekend. (:
Hi Elise,
Delete"Wait Here Until Green Light Shows Red." You mean it doesn't say that? Ha ha! :)
Have you been having a "spot" of tea with "Mistress Snark"?
Great idea, just let the spider webs take over my entire car. Excuse me while I get into my "Spider-Man" costume. It just happens to be in the boot, okay, the trunk of my car! :)
Thank you, Elise and I wish you a sunny weekend in Paris.
Okay, I look great in this costume. What's that officer?....
Gary :)
You know you're desperate when you read the car manual.
ReplyDeleteI can't explain the radio level either! We'll get in my car and the music about blows my wife out of her seat. I really wasn't listening to it that loud. Was I?
And liked Penny's interview at Shelly's site!
Hi Alex,
DeleteJust one moment, please. Okay, I just figured out where the mute switch is on my car stereo.
You knew what I meant. It's one of life's great mysteries. Like you, I cannot believe I had it that loud. I think little gremlins turn up the volume.
Penny is delighted you liked her interview at Shelly's site. Penny shall be visiting there real soon. She just phoned me from home and told me so.
A good weekend to you, Alex.
Gary :)
Ok why must they make things so confusing? When you're a simpleton like me, complex light changes are too confusing. Oh for the good ole days ;)
ReplyDeleteHi Keith,
DeleteI certainly don't think of you as a simpleton. Confused by the traffic lights, but no simpleton. Ah yes, the good ole days when the horse and buggy ruled.
Have a good weekend, Keith.
Gary :)
I know what the green lights are like here, almost none at all. That red light always returns when I get to the lights.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Hi Yvonne,
DeleteSeems like you have experiences like the one I'm having at this moment. Might as well eliminate the green and amber lights.
Hope you have a peaceful, sunny weekend, Yvonne.
Gary :)
Ah summer road construction blues. There's a song in there somewhere I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteHi Delores,
DeleteIn our case, the all-year long road construction, or lack off, blues. No doubt, a song like the one you suggest, will start playing on my car stereo.
Have a nice weekend, eh.
Gary :)
So are you writing this blog entry from your car? Should someone go bring you a sandwich or something before you starve to death waiting for the light to change?
ReplyDeleteHi Pat,
DeleteYes I am. A bacon and lettuce sandwich, please. And oh, could you go to a Tim Hortons up in Canada and get me a coffee and a doughnut. Thank you.
A pleasant weekend to you, Pat.
Gary :)
I am waiting for it to go green...
ReplyDeleteHi Jeremy,
DeleteYikes, it's you, the dude in the car behind me.
Gary :)
Long lights are one of my biggest pet peeves. There's one in my neighbourhood that I just hate. I never, ever make the green and have to wait forever for it to cycle back.
ReplyDeleteHi JoJo,
DeleteI bet somebody is watching you from some traffic monitoring camera and deliberately makes it turn red just for you :)
Have a good weekend and beware that traffic light.
Gary :)
So true, so true, long lights have you daydreaming and just when you find the distraction it changes and road rage ensues. I still haven't figured out why the television blasts me awake in the morning when at night I can barely hear it! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Friday!
Hi Yolanda,
DeleteGotta' switch that car stereo off. Sorry, where was I? I experienced road rage from others over here in Britain. Okay, how was I to know you were supposed drive on the opposite of the road.
There is a little pixie inside your television that messes with the volume.
Happy almost Saturday to you. Time zones!
Gary :)
Gary, my friend, it sounds as if you enjoy 'bubble gum' music as much as you enjoy blog hops!! :)
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
Hi Mark Means,
DeleteI'd rather listen to "The Archies" than get involved in a blog hop! Argggghhhhhh!!!! :)
Thank you, Mark. An awesome n'stuff weekend to you.
Gary :)
My husband and I have radio wars with the car we share. (His music is snoozers, in my opinion). Look at what great thoughts, stories and epics can be created from having to wait in the car. It can be very zen.
ReplyDeleteHi Julie,
DeleteRadio wars, eh. If I hear another bubblegum song on my stereo, I shall being doing battle with the radio station.
Indeed and what a dream I had while waiting for the light to turn green. I dreamt I had millions and millions of adoring fans. Upon waking up to the sound of a car horn, I realised it was just a dream. Of course, I have billions of adoring fans. Zen I went for another snooze :)
A good weekend to you and your husband and your car stereo.
Gary :)
This is why I always carry a book in the car. I used to get stuck by LONG trains, so I would turn off the car and open the book. Now that we have moved, we are more likely to endure traffic hang-ups. However, it tends to be slow going and not dead stop.
ReplyDeleteA friend once posted this sign under my phone: "A watched kettle never boils." Maybe that is the trick with Red Lights, too.
Hi Robin,
DeleteReading a book as the train goes by. From engine to caboose. Spell check, "caboose", is a real word! Traffic hang-ups are the norm in Britain. If things are going okay, they slap up some temporary traffic lights.
I should perhaps not stare at the red light. Actually, I'm finding it kinda' hypnotic.........
A good weekend to you, Robin.
Gary :)
You've asked questions that have no answers. Here's another "light" question. Why is it that when I'm late I hit every red light and when I'm early I sail through them? I'm off to ponder the imponderable.
ReplyDeleteHi Lee,
DeleteI wonder why I refer to you as "Lee" when there's a "C" in front of Lee. So many questions. And I shall give a light-hearted response to you, my starstruck friend :) You should not "hit" red lights. If you're late, speak gently to the traffic light and you will get green lights the rest of the way. Or you can tell the lights you are early, that will make them become green all the way and you will arrive on time. Yes, this public service announcement is coming from a dude stuck at a red light.
A peaceful weekend to you, Lee!
Gary :)
I have been in the car behind someone waiting for the light to turn green. Was it you? Or your clone?
ReplyDeleteI usually clean out the trash in the door pockets, dust the dash,etc. Reading the car manual never occurred to me.
Hi Susan,
DeleteI'm looking in my rear-view mirror and I'm sure the dude must have gone through the red light. Hey Susan, how are you? A clone of me, what a great idea. Over to you, Alex.
Reading the car manual is the most fun I've ever had.
Happy weekend, Susan.
Gary :)
Could have been worse. Could have been 'The Archies' on the stereo.
ReplyDeleteHi Al,
DeleteIt got worse and guess what's playing on my car stereo, yep, I share this,
"Sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you
(I just can't believe it's true)
I just can't believe the one to love this feeling to.
(I just can't believe it's true)
Ah sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Ah honey, ah sugar sugar
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could be
(I know how sweet a kiss can be)
Like the summer sunshine pour your sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me)
Sugar, pour a little sugar on it honey,
Pour a little sugar on it baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
Pour a little sugar on it oh yeah
Pour a little sugar on it honey,
Pour a little sugar on it baby
I'm gonna make your life so sweet, yeah yeah yeah
Pour a little sugar on it honey,
Ah sugar, ah honey honey
You are my candy girl
And you've got me wanting you.
Oh honey, honey, sugar sugar ..
You are my candy girl .."
A bubblegum, smiley weekend, your way,
Gary :)
Well isn't that just great...now I'll have that wretched song blasting in my head for days. Thanks so entirely much Gary.
DeleteHey Delores,
DeleteIt's peachy keen and golly gosh fun! Time for some sugar, sugar....
Gary! :)
I sit there and swear not that the light really seems to care, as it just gives its red glare. So rude it's red attitude
ReplyDeleteAha Pat
DeleteWhere you at
To be fair
The light does care
It's blushing red
Not causing me dread
Oh what a sight
I'm in love with a traffic light.....
A place of contemplation x
ReplyDeleteHi John Grey,
DeleteI contemplate my navel
Listen to Radio Cymru
And all is well
A good weekend to you, my friend in the magical land of Wales.
Gary :)
OMG THAT SONG!!!! LOL!!! I think I was in Jr.High School when that song came out, or maybe even elementary school!!! Thanks for the trip back down memory lane!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHi Caren,
DeleteAh yes, weren't those such gosh darn fun times. I think I'm going to start giggling. A totally groovy band. Nifty neato! Are you going to go find your David Cassidy posters? Scream time! LOL
A bubblegum weekend, your way,
Gary :)
It is amazing that you can do so much in such a short period of time. Beautiful landscapes, by the way. Have a lovely weekend, Gary.
ReplyDeleteHi Julia,
DeleteI've been here waiting for the light to change since the morning of June 3, 2013 :) Although, my micro-sleep did bring on an interesting dream. If you turn right on the photo, you go into Leek, Staffordshire. If you turn left, you end up in Cheddleton, Staffordshire, England. There you go :)
A lovely weekend to you, Julia.
Gary :)
I've always been of the school that if you're first in line at a "wait until" sort of thing is happening, it's your responsibility to be aware when that thing you've waited to happen, happens. However, I totally get the being so distracted you miss it. The longer you wait, the shorter the attention span...
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
Hi Tina,
DeleteAha and the mention of schools. That reminds me, why do so many folks drive the few hundred yards to the school, when it would probably be faster to walk their children to and from school.
I wasn't really distracted. You never no, but some of this might be slightly fictional :) Okay, back to wiping the spider webs off my mirrors....
Have a peaceful, positive weekend.
Gary :)
Hilarious, Gary! Love your comical observations!
ReplyDeleteThink I may have to go back and read this again :)
Gidday Wendy,
DeleteThank you and I'm glad you enjoyed my observations of stuff that sadly, is very close to the truth.
If you read it again, please let me know if the light has changed to green! :)
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Wendy.
Gary :)
Hooray! Yes, the light has finally changed to green!
DeleteAs you were :)
Yay, thanks for that, Wendy! I'd better get going.....great, flat tyre or "tire"! :)
DeleteThere is a set of traffic light and I never made the green light when I get there. Always red and makes me hang on to dear life for at least good three minutes.
ReplyDeleteHi Munir,
DeleteOh how I would love to wait for three minutes. It's Saturday afternoon and I've been waiting since Monday morning, June 3, 2013.
Have a lovely weekend, Munir.
Gary :)
Hi Gary. I have a little spider that lives in my wing mirror. Even the Car-wash doesn't seem to shift it but I've become quite fond of it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, did you know that the whole of the M11 Motorway was built by two men leaning on shovels; I never saw anyone working but somehow it got built!
Hi bazza,
DeleteI thought you were about to do a nursery rhyme. I hope you and the little spider becoming the best of friends.
I think the entire motorway system was built by those two guys leaning on shovels.
A green light weekend to you.
Gary
My pet peeve is lights on a long country lane, and while your light is red there is NOTHING coming the other way. Okay, I guess as a non-driver I'm not really allowed a pet peeve - I get to sit there daydreaming no matter whether we're moving or not!
ReplyDeleteHi Annalisa,
DeleteI know all about that one! I'm very tempted to go when you can clearly see that there's no other traffic. Of course, if I do that, the cop who is hiding in the bushes, rushes over and gives me a ticket. While he gives me the ticket, the light turns green for half a second. Happy daydreaming and enjoy your weekend.
Gary :)
That bubblegum music is so playful and fun - better than Sugar, Honey Honey. That one gets old fast.
ReplyDeleteIsn't there a law against gesticulating in public, Gary?
Be well,
xoRobyn
Hi Robyn,
DeleteI bet you just love lots and lots of groovy and gosh darn giggly fun, bubblegum music. The Archies biggest and probably only hit, has the lyrics, for your pleasure, in a comment further up. I bet you love the following song, although I think it's full of innuendos :)
"Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.
I got love in my tummy,
And I feel like a-lovin you:
Love, you're such a sweet thing,
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just a-what I'm gonna do.
Ooh love, to hold ya,
Ooh love, to kiss ya,
Ooh love, I love it so.
Ooh love, you're sweeter,
Sweeter than sugar.
Ooh love, I wont let you go.."
By,"Ohio Express" and I bet you've got a poster of that band :)
I knew you'd think about the law against gesticulating in public, Robyn. It's also against the law to masticate in public....
Wishing you a happy Sunday.
Gary, stuck in a car and nowhere to go.
:) x
It's all a test Gary.
ReplyDeleteThey are doing research on how people cope with 'patience'. They leave you sitting there just long enough for you to muster a little anger, then they quickly give you an amber light, so you cool down but within seconds of you getting your car to start moving - 'bobs your uncle' and it goes back to red. They look at your face patterns, your mouth for vital signs of verbal annoyance and your hand gestures. ha ha ha.
Did you pass?
Hi Rum-Punch Drunk,
DeleteYes, it's a test concocted by our evil coalition government.
I'm a very patient chap and I'm passing the test with flying colours. Well, one flying colour. Red, of course.
I'm sure I will pass, once the light actually turns to green again.
Gary, stuck in a car, somewhere in Staffordshire.
A sunny Sunday to you.
A song and dance always seems appropriate when reading your blog, especially since I have not had the honor to visit it as often as I'd like to.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, always, from one of your adoring fans,
Madison:)))))
Hi Madison,
DeleteHow lovely to have you visit. Have a listen to my car stereo. Good to have some company. A bit of bubblegum music.
You are way too kind, Madison.
An equally adoring fan,
Gary :)
You can also practice changing your clock. In nearly all of America, anyway, the time changes twice a year, going up one hour in the spring and back one hour in the fall. Does it do this where you are?
ReplyDeleteHi Snowbrush,
ReplyDeleteGood idea and at this rate, I shall be putting back the digital clock in my car in readiness for Greenwich Mean Time. In the Mean Time, we continue on with British Summer Time aka B.S Time. Rather confusingly, you go onto Daylight Savings two weeks earlier than us. The good news is that for those two weeks, I'm one hour closer to you. Me thinks I've answered your question :)
Okay, fiddles with clock. Yes, there's an "l" in that word....
Gary
Why yes, you have answered my question. Thank you.
DeleteHi Snowbrush,
DeleteI'm glad I answered your question and thank you for the follow up response. I read your postings and although I don't comment that often, you certainly write emotive, well written musings. Much respect to you.
Gary
Hi Y'all!
ReplyDeleteNo different than here in the U.S.A....including the fact that there never seem to be any workers working! It really can set my Human on edge, and trust me, that is difficult to do!
Y'all come by now,
Hawk aka BrownDog
Howdy Hawk,
DeleteSlightly different in the USA. Y'all got your traffic coming from the other side of the road. Yes, them there human workers aren't doing much working at the roadworks. I bet your human gets real angry in a situation like that. Y'all good at keeping your human calm.
Shall visit you real soon. Just a bit difficult communicating from my car.
Penny's human,
Gary :)
Maybe the light turned green and you missed it the first 10 times??? Next time you could practice your stage inside voice.
ReplyDelete- La-la-la-da.-
Or maybe sing:
-Ole MacDonald had a farm...-
Or polish the dash. Oh, I got it. You should admire your image in the rearview mirror:
-My gawd I'm a kewl looking dude!-
Hi Joylene,
DeleteMaybe I blinked ten times and missed the green light. I've been practising singing, "here in my car, I'm the safest of all...."
"ee i ee i o..eh.."
Polished the dash. And if my rearview mirror was any shinier, I'd been dazzled by my own stunning, or is that, stunned looks.
Back to practising that song..."here in my car....
Stuck in a car near Leek, Staffordshire,
Gary :)
Lots of new buildings go up in my area; except we never seem to see any construction workers. One day glass will appear in all the windows - not on or two panes at at time, all at once - and then there will be doors or walls or paint or something. But no workers are ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI think the faeries actually do road and building construction. That's why you don't see them.
.......dhole
Hi Donna,
DeleteYou might be correct about fairies doing road and building construction work. It might also explain why we have magical roads here with magical lights that seem to be virtually always stuck on red. It might also explain why so many of our buildings are shaped like mushroom :)
Thank you, Donna.
Gary, on the road to nowhere.
Oh, Gary, I'm so glad I came back here to see your response. You make me giggle and giggle some more. And now I'm really seeking Gary, having read those song lyrics. Oh yeah, it's getting really hot in here...ooh love, to kiss ya...ooh love, to hold ya...Excuse me while I masticate. I mean, while I go look up "masticate" so I know how it's done.
ReplyDeletePS You can change your settings to block all Anonymous bozos.
Thanks for making my evening.
xoxoRobyn
Hi Robyn,
DeleteIt's very kind of you to leave a follow up comment. Thank you. Bubblegum music brings out the giggles and let's have a gigglethon :) You have fun masticating. Something to chew over. Did you know you can get a masticating machine that grinds up nuts and froths your cream....!:)
I had left in on anonymous settings so that some of my friends who don't have any kind of blogging account, could comment. Reluctantly, I've heeded your advice and changed the settings. Some of my best friends are bozos! :)
I'm glad I made your evening, Robyn.
Gary :) x
Funny.... I really did zonk out at one of those long construction stops once but there was room for the cars to go around me..... honking as they went. You hit the nail again.
ReplyDeleteHi Manzanita,
DeleteOh my, that must have been amusing for the other drivers. Of course, you being zonked was probably similar to the construction workers. They were sleeping on the side of the road. *Beep!* *Beep!* Wake up! LOL
Gary in a car that hasn't gone far...
Ha! I guess you get to think about more absurdly mundane things while you wait for the light to turn green, again. :0)
ReplyDeleteHi Sherry,
DeleteYou would be correct. I'm sitting in my car thinking about the alphabet! :)
Thank you, Sherry.
Gary, admiring himself in the rearview mirror and talking to spiders.....
In any event, you always light up our lives Gary!
ReplyDeleteJulie
Hi Julie,
DeleteThank you and coincidentally, on my car stereo, that Debbie Boone song is playing :)
*switches off stereo*
Gary :)
So a red light means I've got to stop. And when the police are trying to catch up with me, does that mean... wait... I'm so confused. Where's my manual?
ReplyDeleteHey Blue Dude,
DeleteI've been told to stop at red lights. Although an amber light means you get stuck in an alternative universe. Check in your manual to find out what a blue light means.
Gary :)
I guess most of the construction work gets done while we are at our cubicles.
ReplyDeleteYou really plan out postings in a very articulate manner. Perfect all the time. I don't think any thing while waiting for the lights to turn green. I just pray to God that I don't fall asleep.
Hi Munir,
DeleteIt's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! :) My human, Gary, is still waiting for the light to actually turn green again.
My human's articulation is thanks to me and I thank you for giving him such a compliment. I sleep a lot. Actually, zzzzzzzzz.....
Penny :)