klahanie

How Sweet It Is.

2012-01-31T19:35:00.000Z

Greetings, yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. I have been honoured to have received "The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award" from that lovable dog friend, Indy and her wonderful human, Teresa, over at this pawesome and awesome site : A Likely Story. I thank you both very much for thinking of me.

I am supposed to reveal seven facts about myself. Hopefully, I am not being too repetitive. Still, even if I am, it's always good to share with you, my adoring fans, facts about this modest internet star. So, for your delight, here goes.

1: I have to be cautious when I go out for walks. The 'puppyarazzi' take every opportunity to hound me for a photograph.
2: I like to watch television and I start barking when I see horses on the screen.
3: I am very kind and allow my human to take a break from his writing by doing one of my highly anticipated pawstings.
4: I have attempted to teach my human, Gary, how to be a better writer. Alassie, sorry, alas, he will not pay attention to my helpful hints.
5: I know I've mentioned this before. My left hip had to be removed when I was a little puppy. Muscle has grown in the place of the missing hip. And yes, you could call me 'one hip dog'....
6: My young human, Tristan, finally got out of the bathroom the other day and took me for a walk. If I had waited any longer, he would of discovered a nasty surprise in the hallway.
7: I have my very own award that I pawsonally created. It is called, "The Gold Framed Dog Blog Award" and has brought joy and inspiration to bloggers all over the world. It has, according to my pawblicity team, even reached the surface of Uranus. You may note my award in the photograph below.

Now I must forward "The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award" onto seven worthy and wonderful bloggers.
Although I consider all of you to be excellent recipients of the award, here are seven examples that I think are superb read.

1: thefeatherednest
2: Nancy S. Thompson
3: Prufrock's Dilemma
4: Positive Letters....inspirational stories....
5: Austanspace
6: Cat Chat with Caren & Cody
7: The Scribbling SeaSerpent

And with that, I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, wish you a peaceful and pawsitive day.......

Reaching Out With Revelation.

2012-01-26T16:32:00.000Z

We live in a world where many have been subjected to stigma, stereotyping, labels and assumptions. Perhaps a video like this will make those who too easily pass judgement, think again.

Step Up To The Plate.

2012-01-20T14:42:00.001Z

You may have heard the expression, or if you are into fancy words, the idiom, 'step up to the plate'. It basically means to take on a challenge or a responsibility. To initiate action.

It is also is a literal reference when a baseball player steps up to home plate to take a turn at batting against a pitcher. You might be familiar with the game of baseball. If you live in Britain, you may consider baseball a form of glorified rounders or cricket in an alternate reality.

I've had a varied life and when I was a teenager living in Vancouver, I used to go to minor league baseball games at Capilano Stadium. My buddies and I would get there early and talk to the players as they warmed up for the game. We had many a fun conversation with the players. I remember this one dude who had noted how small the crowds were. In his finest southern drawl, he said, "What y'all been doin' scarin' all them folks away?" Another player asked us, "Hey guys, where do all the chicks hang out?" Of course, being fifteen and being 'men of action', we told him about all the hot spots where you could like pick up 'chicks'. He told us he would check out those places after the game in his "pick up truck."

And the player who wanted to know where to find the ladies started bragging about how great a game he was going to have. And a great game he had. That was the good news. The bad news was that he played for the opposing team named the Spokane Indians. And the name of that player? Bobby Valentine, who is now the manager of the Boston Red Sox.

Ah yes, baseball. Which has terminology such as sacrifice fly, slugging percentage, single, double, triple, home run, stolen base, caught stealing, seventh inning stretch, strikeouts, base on balls, foul balls and sliding into home base. I remember one day when a bunch of us dudes were thinking about having a game of naked baseball. Then we thought about sliding into home base and decided foul balls wasn't such a good idea.

The team, way back then in the year 1969, were named the Vancouver Mounties. The photo is a Vancouver Mounties baseball cap. We used to look at the cap and end up in hysterical laughter. Or to use a baseball metaphor, 'looks like they have gotten past first base and scored a home run...'

Penny The Patient Pooch.

2012-01-16T00:07:00.000Z

Hi there, yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. And lucky you. This is my first pawsting of 2012.
In the above photo I am waiting patiently for a certain young man to take me for a walk. And I wait and I wait, outside the bathroom door. Funny how I always have to wait for him. Time really does depend on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
If he doesn't hurry up, Tristan may well find a nasty surprise waiting for him in the hallway! And no, I don't mean me. I'm getting desperate! Maybe you could help me and tell Tristan to hurry up out of the bathroom. Thank you.

Tart To Tart.

2012-01-12T02:23:00.000Z

Definition of tart :
1: Having a sharp and rather sour taste.
2: Sharp or bitter in tone or meaning.
3: A pastry case, especially one without a top, with a sweet or savoury filling.
4: A promiscuous woman. The often unisexual nature of modern slang ensures that the meaning of 'tart' in this context can also be applied to promiscuous males. There are variations to this, such as 'tarted up', which basically means getting dressed up in a potentially garish way. Y'all might call, tarted up, 'dolled up'.

This posting is in reference to definition number 3.

The above photograph is of a Bakewell Tart. Bakewell is a town in Derbyshire, set right in the heart of the Peak District National Park. Here's some information on Bakewell : Bakewell, Derbyshire. Here's one recipe for a Bakewell Tart : Bakewell Tarts. Just to confuse you, you will note there are many different ways to make a Bakewell Tart.
Bakewell is about twenty five miles north east of where I live. Yes, I really do live in a town named Leek. I'm thinking of driving to Bakewell in search of a classic Bakewell Tart. Oh and I am referring to the pastry item.

Here's a video of Bakewell.

Now to finish this posting by dazzling you with songs about tarts. 'How Can You Mend A Broken Tart?', 'Your Cheatin' Tart', 'Don't Go Breakin' My Tart', 'Unbreak My Tart', 'Achy Breaky Tart', 'Put A Little Love In Your Tart' and my favourite, 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Tarts Club Band.

There you go. You see, my tart's in the right place. Bakewell is a very old town. And being the home of the legendary Bakewell Tart, I shall go there in search of some ancient 'tarty facts'.

Advanced Warning.

2012-01-06T03:16:00.001Z

Advanced warning. Take cover. Flatulence alert! Or most definitely take cover and plug your nose if you work at the London Zoo and have been involved in the annual stock take. No doubt you will be subjected to a variety of farts, from the exotic to the more indigenous types. Here's some further information : Please do keep still... I'm trying to count you! London Zoo keepers start annual stock take of 18,500 animals.

The video above should give you further insight into the annual stock take at the London Zoo.

One zoo keeper had a very clever idea. He went to the Reptile House, strolled over to the snake section and stated, 'Perfect! We could use a couple of adders in the stock take.' To which the adders replied in unison, 'Hiss Off!'
So there they are. Counting camels, chickens, crocodiles and chimpanzees. Totalling the tigers, turtles, toads and toucans.

Things have been going very slowly in the Children's Petting Zoo. Apparently, the zoo keeper starts counting sheep....and you know the rest. 'Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep, sh...eee...pppp.....zzzzzzzzzz...'
'WAKE UP!'

Aisle Be There.....Eventually!

2012-01-04T01:59:00.000Z

Welcome to 2012. And just when I'd got myself familiarised with where everything was in the store in 2011, the store decides to have a bit of a laugh.

Do you know what I mean? I go into the store and head straight down the cereal aisle only to discover that the boxes of cereal have vanished and have been replaced with various brands of dog and cat food. Suddenly, I wonder if I've entered a parallel universe, an alternate reality, or maybe entered the wrong store.

And so, visualise this, I wandered aimlessly around the store, terrified that I would go from aisle to aisle and not find the "Special K" or the drastically reduced packets of "Pop Tarts". What if I ended up an aisle expecting to find the breakfast items only to realise that I was in the middle of the ladies undies section? What if I ended going down the wrong aisle and shudder, discovered I had become married?

So why do they do this? Why the urge to rearrange the shop that had become so familiar? To keep us alert? No, me thinks it may well be a ploy to get us so confused that we impulse buy and end up with not only a lot of exercise, but a lot of extra junk we didn't really want. Not surprisingly, the milk is in its usual location and that would be at the back of the store.

Now then, you may well ask, 'Gary, for goodness sakes man! Why didn't you just ask a friendly shop attendant where the cereal was now located?' And well you may ask. Okay, time to stereotype us dudes. Dudes asking for directions? You must be joking. Heck, get lost driving around a strange town without a map or a Sat Nav and do you think we are going to ask for directions? Heck no. I mean I'm sure the place we want to go is just around the next corner...

After much strolling about in the store making out like I knew what I was doing, I found the cereal. Time to go to the checkout, a minute before closing and pay for the Special K, the drastically reduced packets of Pop Tarts, various brands of dog and cat food and um.....some ladies undies....and help!.... A marriage certificate!.....

Leaps And Bounds.

2011-12-30T01:41:00.000Z

I have found out that 2012 is a 'leap year'. And so, it will be a good year for kangaroos, frogs, toads, gazelles, grasshoppers, spittlebugs and 'leaping lizards', our friend, the gecko. Note the 'Jacket rabbit' getting ready for the leap year.
I do hope that 2012 has us improve our lives in leaps and bounds. Maybe a leap into the great unknown, but a leap, nevertheless. Yes indeed, a leap into action in the spirit of a leap year. Just make sure you look before you leak, I mean leap. So let's leap for joy and not leap to any conclusions that would prevent us from a leap forward in a positive way.
And what an ideal time for a quantum leap. Or a mini quantum leap that is being practised on a group of islands in the South Pacific. Take for instance, Samoa, which is going to skip December 30, 2011 and suddenly find itself fast-forwarded to December 31, 2011. Imagine having your birthday on December 30 on Samoa and discovering, tough luck, your birthday has been cancelled. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, perhaps this link might help: Samoa and Tokelau to skip a day for dateline change.
So, in the coming leap year, I will hop on buses, planes and trains. I will think about all of those born or getting married on February 29 and wonder if they use February 28 or March 1 to mark their anniversaries in 2013.
And in 2012, Americans can say to you, 'have an extra nice day!' I say to you have an extra nice Happy New Year.
And to finish off in the spirit of leap. I recall those memorable words said the day they landed a man on the 'Nevada desert'. "That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind."

Another 'Thawt' Or Two.

2011-12-28T01:24:00.000Z

I 'thawt' you might like to know how the thawing of the 'old bird' went. And yes, once again, I'm referring to the turkey and not my dear ex.
You will be thrilled to know that the turkey did indeed turn out succulent and juicy. I can measure the success of how well it turned out by the noticeable lack of white meat left in the fridge. A certain young man is most partial to the white meat on the turkey.
And jiggle my giblets. The wrapper on the turkey stated that it "serves 8-10". Really? 8-10 Munchkins, maybe.
I recall that one year when I cooked the turkey upside down. No, not me! What I mean is that I inadvertently stuck the turkey in the oven the wrong way round. I also recall, much to my delight, that turkey cooked just fine.
We had a nice, peaceful Christmas. I ate in the living room and attempted to watch some television. Television was crap and by seven at night, I said to heck with it and went to bed. I'm grateful I'm under no pressure to do the social scene.
This will be a very short posting. Now we can look forward, with realistic positive anticipation, to a better, more uplifting New Year.

Before I go, there will be some of you who link into the following blog and may have not realised that this writer,'W.M.Morrell's Musings From Down Under.' has done a recent posting. Unfortunately, she has encountered some internet problems and thus, I would like to draw your attention to her latest article, which can be found here: Support Fellow Writers By Buying A Book For Christmas.

Thank you and I 'thawt' I should let you know how grateful I am for your positive interaction.

Defrost The Old Bird.

2011-12-24T03:02:00.000Z

Well now, I have come to the realisation that it's time to defrost the old bird. And no, I'm not referring to my ex wife.

Of course, as I quickly move on, I'm referring to the defrosting of the turkey. I just hope I've worked it out. Um....lets see. Okay, if I leave it in the fridge, the temperature should be 4 degrees C or 39 degrees F. I must allow about 10 to 12 hours per kilogram. Or, in a cool room where the temperature is below 17.5 degrees C, 64 degrees F, allow approximately three to four hours per kilogram, or longer if your room is as bloody cold as my kitchen is. At a room temperature of about 20 degrees C , 68 degrees F, allow around two hours per kilogram.
Whoops....I'm already confused. Yet somehow, each year, my turkey seems to turn out okay. As for the ex wife....well.....
At this point, I would usually try to do a bunch of predictable puns. Puns such as wasn't this a fowl blog and I'm not one to duck the issue because that would be the chicken's way out and I'm just trying to write a very pheasant article. No, I'm not going to do that and send you on a wild goose chase.

The 'wee folks' who live in my garden, wish you a most peaceful Christmas and that the dawning of the New Year shall see you feeling positive and truly inspired.

And it seems only fitting that Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, the real talent on this shy, humble, unassuming site, has the last word.
"My dear friends, human and otherwise, here's wishing you a pawesome Christmas and a pawfect New Year.
Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, your way, Penny xx"

Each Christmas.

2011-12-20T03:11:00.000Z

Each Christmas, over the last few years, I contemplate not bothering with putting up a tree or adorning my home with all the decorations. Those special moments of Christmas past, had become just a faded blur. Why bother with seasonal lights when nobody would come to see them?

And I went for a stroll in the heart of Leek. I gazed at blue twinkling lights adorning the branches of two trees that stood beside the Nicholson War Memorial. And on that cold snowy night, alone with my thoughts, I realised that in actuality, I have much to be grateful for. I got in my car. I headed home.

I went into my living room and I suddenly found myself putting purple lights on my fake flower arrangement that sticks out the top of a big tub that looks like something a snake might come out of. If you click on the photo it might give you a better idea. It appeared that I might be giving in, yet again and would soon be merrily covering the house with pretty little lights and seasonal adornments. Oh my.....

Before you could say, 'Merry Boxing Day Eve', I found that I had gone into some kind of Christmas trance and my living room was sort of transformed into some kind of magical wonderland. Even Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, was dazzled by the light display. You may note her staring up at her 'Santa's Little Helper' bib she proudly wore in her previous posting.
And so, despite the probability that I will have no visitors, I realised that the soothing ambience, the gentleness of the scene, was giving me a sense of peace and tranquillity. Yes, I have a son who may take a fleeting glimpse at the Christmas tree. And yes, we have a dog that will provide us with much needed company. So really, it aint so bad.

I stared into the candle. Found my thoughts absorbed in the warm, reassuring glow. I thought about the gifts that have nothing to do with money. Gifts that are truly priceless. I am determined, more than ever before, that I will praise my son, bestow upon him the positive affirmations he craves within his heart. I give him the gift of a smile. And I wait for the smile to return to his face. I wait for the flickering glimmer of hope to return to the eyes of a sad young man.

The 'Wee Folks' Christmas Special. Revisited.

2011-12-16T00:13:00.000Z

And thus, Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess, Geoffrey the garden gnome, and their wee son, Einahalk, rejoiced in the warm, reassuring glow of the twinkling Christmas lights.

The 'wee folks', such wondrous, magical creatures, had come in from the cold and gathered in the comfort of the living room. All different, all equal, celebrating the magic of a special time.

Such diversity. Their's is a world where all is possible and no judgement is ever passed.

See the joy, the sheer delight on the faces of the wee folks. They know that life should be a celebration of all that is good.

And the party continued. They danced and they sang to sweet tunes of love, hope and understanding.

In the above photograph are Venetia, the sister of Fidelina, and bridesmaid from the enchanting wedding of Fidelina, the beautiful fairy princess and Geoffrey, the garden gnome. Standing beside her is the 'best gnome', Teagan. There was a hint of romance between the two of them at the magic-filled wedding on the first day of summer. Note the gnome in the background, Yrag, who is the best friend of Teagan.

And here is a happy little monkey, with his great long arms, wrapped over a couple of friendly garden gnomes. Nice tinsel effect, happy little monkey.

Dreams can come true. Dare to believe in yourself. Fidelina, Geoffrey and their beautiful little boy, Einahalk, wish you a peaceful, happy and so very positive Christmas.

And the wee folks gazed out the window. They looked out, looked up, at moon drenched sky. Tis a marvel to behold the shining orb through winter branches. Soon they would leave. Return to their world of love and peace.
Their message to us is simple, yet profound. For the wee folks live in their wee world, where stigma, labels and the passing of judgement, are bizarre and baffling concepts. May we learn from them. Let us celebrate and rejoice the diversity of mankind. And just like in their world, we can truly be, all different, all equal.

My dear friend, this was a posting from last Christmas. During the uncertain times that have been encountered in my house and the fact I'm struggling to focus, I do so hope that you will share in the joy and the wonder of the message in this reposting. In kindness and hope for a better way, for you, for my son, for all of us.

Santa Paws.

2011-12-10T01:40:00.000Z

Seasonal greetings. Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Do you like the title of my pawsting? I really like this time of the year. You might call me a 'Yule dog' which must not be confused with a Yule log. Or, if you happen to be a dog from the southern States, a 'Y'all dog', or maybe that's a 'Y' all dawg'. So this here is my Yule dog blog.

Gary, the human I so kindly allow to live with me, has told me that this can be the loneliest time of the year for some folks. While others are getting together with family and friends, they are sad and all alone. This distresses me. So I was thinking it would be very nice if you humans found the time to go and check out that lonely neighbour. Made sure they were okay. You may well receive the gift of warmth and genuine gratitude from a poor soul who may have felt invisible.

Now my human spends most Christmas Days by himself. Yet he is grateful. For he has a roof over his head, a son he loves and me the Jack Russell who is his companion. In the past, he has spent Christmas Day feeding the homeless and this has given Gary an acute awareness of just how much he has to be thankful for. After he fed the homeless, he came back to me and our lovely home. Many of those in such a desperate situation would be spending a cold night in an underground parking lot.

Gary has also told me that some people get puppies and kittens as 'gifts' to be placed under the Christmas tree. 'Awe what a cute little puppy! Oh wow, what an adorable little kitten!' And with some the novelty wears off. The reality of responsibility becomes too much. Little puppy becomes an older dog, becomes a burden and gets neglected. Little kitty becomes a cat and gets ignored. Humans really need to think it through before they make the decision to bring an animal into their lives.

You know what? Those who truly love and respect their cats will forever see the playful kitten. And me, yes me, I will always be a puppy at heart. You should see how I make Gary and his son laugh with delight as I race around the house and do my silly dance.

May you have a peaceful and positive Christmas. Be grateful for what you have, remember the lonely and yes please remember that famous slogan, "A dog is for life, not just for Christmas."

Depression Is A Thief.

2011-12-04T14:40:00.000Z

Depression is a thief. Robs the colours from the rainbow. The dreams, the hopes, the beautiful colours, I so embrace, had faded to a teasing, taunting background blur. Faded to murky shades of black, of grey, of white.

No, not again. Please, not again. And I lay in bed. Watched the shadows dance upon the wall as the cool autumn breeze drifted in through open window. And I lay in bed. Hardly noting the tears streaming down my cheeks. It had all become too much as I lay there and thought of my sleeping son.

Depression is a thief. It robs you of the joy of the simple things in life. Blocks out the sounds of the singing birds playing gently on the branches of winter trees. Depression is a thief. Steals the wonder from your heart and suffocates with impending doom.

And yet, despite it all, I have received gifts of caring, compassion and hope. You have reached out to me and your kindness is clear, profound demonstration that we can all be here for each other. Thanks to you and thanks to my determination to cling on to those delicate strands of positivity that linger in the back of my mind, the colour is beginning to return. It's a little bit blurry, a little bit hazy, but the uplifting colours of optimism have started to immerse my being. I even heard the sweet sounds of winter birds playing gently on the branches of winter trees.

And thus, thanks to David at, A Day in the Life and Kim and CindyLu, over at, CindyLu'sMuse, for doing guest postings while I have been trying to work through this bout of depression. I am heartened and encouraged by such genuine and inspirational concern. I thank each and every one of you for reaching out to me. For thanks to you and your warm wishes, the thief has been apprehended.

A Friend Of A Different Kind.

2011-11-28T18:22:00.000Z

A dear friend of mine, Kim and her adorable dog, CindyLu, have kindly agreed to do a guest posting on my site. You can find these two wonderful writers over at this site: CindyLu'sMuse
Kim and CindyLu write thought provoking and informative articles that relate to the unconditional, non- judgemental love that our vulnerable friends in the animal world have to share with us. If you have never visited the site of CindyLu'sMuse, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star and myself, highly recommend that you check it out.
Thanks Kim and CindyLu. I am honoured and privileged that you would do a guest posting for me. The posting is titled, "A Friend Of A Different Kind."

Gary writes regularly about the issues surrounding mental illness, emphasizing the need to remove the stigmas attached to this subject in our society. I write regularly about animals - pets in particular - with an emphasis on the positive actions people take to improve the lot of our beloved, furry friends. Subjects miles apart? I think not. I believe that the pain and discomforts of many mental illnesses can often be eased by the love and companionship offered by one's pet.

There are a myriad of different types of pets. Any of these can offer us friendship, a sense of value, some even exercise, conversation - with an added benefit for us of improved health. Life is less lonely, more valuable, and much more fun. Although caring for a pet is not for everyone, many of us benefit immensely from sharing our lives with them.

I've had pets all of my adult life, and have always considered them a part of the family. Somehow, they were never just "mere" animals. The more time I spent with an animal, the more I felt less superior as a human. Pets forgive, forget, always afford us a second chance. Imagine if all people were that way! Pets offer complete trust, unconditional love and loyalty. How could I feel that I, as a human being, were possibly superior to that?

For the past going-on seven years now, I've volunteered for a pet rescue organization. Almost Home Foundation is dedicated to saving the lives of as many dogs and cats as it can. Sometimes we rescue pets from high-kill shelters or faraway places where there is such an overabundance of them, saving them from being euthanized. It can be a saddening, frustrating, disillusioning job at times, but because of human ignorance or greed, not because of the animals. These dogs and cats in need keep us motivated.

How did I get started in the pet rescue field? Well, It was actually because of my son. He'd been suffering through years of depression, anxiety, difficulties with school. When my neighbors (a wonderful couple dedicated to making this world better) told me about the organization they were involved in, a thought occurred to me. My son had always loved animals.

I knew that there were therapeutic benefits to spending time with animals, and thought that perhaps also by getting involved in helping dogs my son would have an activity that took his mind off his troubles. There's something quite healing about focusing on the suffering or needs of someone else less fortunate.

He began by volunteering as a "dog handler" at adoption events. Every Saturday and Sunday, he would be assigned a dog, given all the details known about it. Then he'd spend the next four hours talking with people who wanted to know more about the dog, ensuring the dog was comfortable and on its best behavior, chatting with other volunteers, helping people in the adoption process when they chose his dog.

He loved it, looked forward to the weekends, and became impressively adept with both dog handling and many other duties for these events. It boosted his confidence, showed him he was worthy - and the affection from the dogs themselves gave him positive feelings.

I learned then the immense influence pets can have in our lives. When the organization began working with cats as well, we became a foster home. Little did I know that within two months' time, my home would be filled with litters of kittens and an occasional adult cat. My children reveled in doing what they could to help these homeless animals.

As a divorced woman with four children at home, a job and a house to maintain - one might think I was utterly nuts to be taking on these additional responsibilities. Truth is, I believe they actually saved me. Daily life was quite challenging and stressful; having these adorable creatures at home to nurture, enjoying their cute antics, the snuggles and purrs - were stress-busters. You cannot continue to feel anxious, angry, stressed...if a little furball is curling up against you, purring away.

Just like for my son, being involved with something that was much larger than just myself helped me cope with my own life's ups and downs. It gave me a wider perspective of the world, kept me from concentrating solely on myself and my worries. It afforded the chance to meet new people, make new friends. Many of these people also struggle in one way or another, and find it just as therapeutic to be a part of the organization, and in doing something good for homeless pets.

You don't have to volunteer with a pet organization in order to reap the benefits these animals offer. Just having a pet of your own can help. The unadulterated adoration and loyalty of a dog, the purring cuddles of a cat - the connection you feel with an animal of any type when you care for it, knowing you are responsible for its well-being - are all uplifting, positive reinforcements to whatever fragile part of your mind or soul is in need.

This is a difficult world we live in. Daily life can be challenging at best, horribly cruel at worst. Not one of us is perfect; we all each have our private demons we battle with. It's nice to know that we have been provided with some measure of companionship, peace and contentment - by some of God's blessed creatures...those known as "pets".

"Me and My Hairy Friend"

2011-11-20T00:30:00.000Z

Greetings, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. My human, yes Gary aka klahanie, the human I so kindly allow to live with me, is still taking a break from blogging. I know that when he actually does a posting, he will not apologise for not writing. If anything, it might be better that he apologise for writing.
In the meantime, Gary has contacted his good friend, David and asked him if he would like to do a guest posting on this shy and humble site. David, the human with a tendency for the usage of big words, was thrilled to bits to have this opportunity to expose himself, I mean display his abundant writing skills on this site.
And thus friend, whether you be human or otherwise, without further ceremony, I present to you David's posting, titled, "Me and My Hairy Friend". I should inform you that his posting was delivered by carrier pigeon and the poo on the parchment has been removed.

So, I’ve been invited to do this “guest posting” for my very dear friend, Gary, and also, of course, Penny, the modest internet star. In fact, maybe I should have mentioned Penny first, as there does seem to be some confusion over who is looking after who, with Penny, in the many posts she writes (actually, I think that she secretly writes them all and just lets Gary take the kudos), referring to Gary as her “human”.

Gary and I have known each other for quite some time now, and I believe we first met at our local mental health charity, The Media Action Group for Mental Health. It was during their “Mindbloggling” project that Gary and I first came into contact. The aim of the project was to get people with experience of mental ill health to write blogs about their lives and the way their conditions affect them, in the process hopefully reducing the stigma surrounding such illnesses. And, Gary sometimes writes about his struggles with depression, but mostly his blog, as you will all know, is a witty and humorous look at life from his very own, highly original perspective. Indeed, by doing this Gary shows that there is so much more to him, and to us all with mental health issues, than simply a label or diagnosis. So, there has been blogs about the most quotidian (he hates that word, so I thought I’d get it in!) of subjects, such as non-stick frying pans, fridges, trips to the shops and travelling on buses. But, such is Gary’s talent as a writer, that he manages to infuse such everyday matters with wit, wisdom and insight, and his warm, friendly and funny personality always comes shining through.

I sometimes refer to Gary as “my hairy friend”, given his moustache and his propensity for having a hairy back (which really is quite prepossessing, by the way) and I feel we have a lot in common. After all, he is from Canada, and I’m English. He is in his fifties, and I’m just approaching 40. He is losing his hair, whereas I still have a lustrous mane. Ok, so we’re not doing that well so far. But what we do have in common is the fact that we have both had experience of mental illness, and are both dedicated to reducing the stigma which surrounds such conditions through our blogging.

So, after all that about Gary, perhaps I should tell you a little about myself. Well, as I’ve said, I am just approaching my 40th birthday. Yes, I will be officially middle-aged. However, I have not yet resorted to smoking a pipe and wearing slippers all day, and try to maintain a youthful outlook on life. Gary often says that I resemble “Robin Hood”, whatever Robin Hood looked like, but I do not go around wearing green tights and brandishing a bow and arrow. And, like Gary, I have experienced mental ill health, and have a diagnosis of schizophrenia. OK, so that is, I know, for many, a very scary word, associated as it often is with violence, “split” personality, or a complete inability to function. I have to say, though, that I don’t fit the mould of your average “axe murderer” stereotype, and am just a normal, really quite friendly, person. I know that it is often difficult for those who are not familiar with what schizophrenia actually is to get past the many stereotypes which pervade the media and other sources of information, but I would just say that, for the most part, these representations are grossly misrepresentative of the majority who have experience of this illness. The many I have met with the diagnosis, through my own experience, have been kind, indeed gentle, people, who just want to get on with their lives despite their illness and the stigma surrounding it. I hope that anyone reading this will be broad-minded enough to just at least think about what their response is when they hear that dreaded word. Or perhaps you could even read something about the condition and improve your knowledge of it. Indeed, if there is one way of improving the stigma surrounding conditions like my own, it is to get people to understand the facts about it, rather than relying on misrepresentative media portrayals. Failing that, you could always pop over to my blog, "A Day in the Life". Now there’s a novel thought.

So, having done my regulation anti-stigma spieI, I would just thank my hirsute pal for allowing me access to all his wonderful followers and commenters, and I thank you for taking the time to read this little post.

Reaching Out To You.

2011-11-10T02:45:00.000Z

The ethos, the ideals of my blog, have and always will be my attempt to demonstrate that my mental health issues are only a small part of who I am. I endeavour to be of support and encouragement to those who may be experiencing feelings of great isolation as they battle with the turmoil of mental health concerns. Yes, I am mentally ill, yet I am not ashamed of who I am.

I endeavour to display realistic positive anticipation in my daily life. For the impact of negative speculation plays on the mind, destroys the uplifting energy I so desire. I'm battling here. I cannot focus. I cannot eat. I hardly sleep and sleep has been the only freedom that I know. And when I do catch those moments of precious sleep; instead of waking up with an air of optimism, I wake up to wave upon wave of panicky thoughts, drowning what's left of my fragile ego.

I'm gasping for breath as I write this. The fragments of my positive energy punched, kicked and suffocated by an unrelenting negative force. One of my few remaining passions, the passion to write, something I hold so dear, is garbled and sporadic.

And what has triggered this negative energy? The sadness in the eyes of my son. Sadness caused by the desperation of not having work and being able to move on with his life. His sadness, a grim reminder of the torment I endured all those years ago. I see his pain and I relive my own personal nightmare. Somehow I must regain my inner strength. The love for my son depends on this.

And thus, my dear 'electric friend', my 'electronic tonic', this very frightened and lonely man is not going to post for the next little while. Instead, I'm going to do what the ethos of this blog set out to do. To encourage and support others. I will be as proactive on as many of your blogs as my exhausted mind will allow. I embrace the true spirit of the caring and sharing blogging community. Indeed, all different, all equal.

I thank you for your time and your understanding. And now, I'm reaching out to you.....

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer."

2011-11-05T02:55:00.002Z

This posting might give you something to sink your teeth into. Or maybe, it's just a bit of 'filling' before I actually formulate something remotely close to a decent article

"A rotten tooth, said to belong to John Lennon, is going up for auction on Saturday. The cavity-ridden, discoloured molar is expected to raise £10,000 at least, according to the auctioneers in Stockport. No DNA tests have been done on the tooth because it is so fragile but it was reportedly given by Lennon to his former housekeeper, Dot Jarlett, in the mid-1960s when they were in the kitchen of his house. "He was very generous to my mother, Jarlett's son, Barry, told the BBC. "He treated her like family because he didn't really have a very big family and he really looked after my mum. He used to call her Aunty Dot." Source : The Huffington Post, Friday, November 4, 2011

Now then, John Lennon apparently pulled out his cavity-ridden, discoloured molar. A bit of "twist and shout!" Or maybe he used, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer". Anyway, I can visualise the proceedings at the auction. The 'Tooth Fairy' would be the auctioneer and the audience would be made up of eager, long in the tooth, dentists. And perhaps, the Tooth Fairy might just use Maxwell's Silver Hammer as some kind of symbolic gavel.

Here are some songs you may associate with the Beatles and John Lennon. 'Long Tooth Sally', 'Get Plaque', 'Gum Together', 'Happiness Is A Warm Gum', 'Toothy In The Sky With Diamonds', 'Love Me Chew', 'Yes Decay....all my troubles seemed so far away..'. Okay, brace yourself, I know you can come up with your own toothy tunes. All I am saying is, 'Give Teeth A Chance....'

Before I go, the photo is evidently John Lennon's prized molar. That's the tooth, the hole tooth and nothing but the tooth....

Penny's Pyrotechnic Plea.

2011-10-31T02:19:00.001Z

Greetings. Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog wishing to discuss a very important topic with you. The next couple of weeks can be terrifying times for me and for many of us animals.

From just before Halloween, until just after Guy Fawkes Night , also called Bonfire Night, we animals can be subjected to very frightening sounds and bright lights. I have been told this is caused by fireworks.

Below is my plea for a bit of common sense that I posted up last year. I hope the following two weeks will not be as frightening as those in the past.

When Gary goes out and leaves me alone, he knows that someone has been setting off fireworks outside the house. He finds me huddled and shaking inside the closet. His socks are wet from my nervous piddle. Why are they doing this? Why do they have to explode those scary things outside our home? I'm so scared, so very scared and confused.

Gary has told me that there is no need for people to buy fireworks and cause such stress for us innocent creatures. Gary has told me that people who buy fireworks are putting themselves and others, at risk. He has told me that people can go and watch fireworks at controlled and safe public displays. So why do they take the risk? I don't understand any of this. I think that the purchase of fireworks to the public should be banned. Gary has told me that the Accident and Emergency units at the hospitals would agree.
So please, spare a thought. Think about what a terrible and scary time this is for me and many other animals. Please do not go throwing fireworks down the street. Please, if nothing else, think about saving some money and going to a public display. I have been told by Gary that fireworks are expensive and you would get to see loads more at an organised and safe fireworks event.
Please have a safe and happy Halloween. If you are celebrating Bonfire Night, please take heed of my impassioned plea. I thank you.

And, if you are not aware of Guy Fawkes Night, here is link: Guy Fawkes Night in Britain.

Sorry Store Stories.

2011-10-28T01:16:00.000Z

Hey, hey! Wasn't that fun trying to say the title of this posting? Being sober, may or may not be of help. So here are some sorry store story situations stated simply.

I went and locked my front door with my car key and started up the house. Then I went to my car and wondered why it wouldn't work. Upon realising I was using my house key, I laughed hysterically, got weird looks from my neighbours and eventually proceeded of on my little excursion.

Upon arriving at the supermarket, much to my delight, I saw an empty car space. That would be the car space that was quickly taken by a lady driving a Land Rover full of screaming kids.

Thus, after several minutes of curb crawling.....um looking for a parking space, I finally got a location to park, three miles from the store entrance.

First of all, I needed to go to the post office and very conveniently, the post office is located within the supermarket. I couldn't believe my luck that there was only one customer in the post office. That was the good news. The bad news was there was only one staff member working at the time and the customer ahead of me was having gigantic parcels sent to every corner of the planet. Half an hour later, it was finally my turn. I only went in for a couple of second-class stamps. Yes, in Britain, even stamps have a class system.

Finally, clutching onto my second-class stamps, I headed into the supermarket. I grabbed a basket and went to get the usual items, you know, those items that they deliberately place at the back off the store, such as milk. Because, like I've mentioned before, they are hoping that other temptations along the way to the milk aisle, will cause you to impulse buy. Thus you walk out of the shop with your pint of milk and a 55 inch, high definition, colour television.

Anyway, strolling down the aisles, skilfully avoiding the angry mob at the 'reduced price' section, I bumped into my doctor. "Hi doc", I stated. '"Hi Gary", he replied. So there we were, exchanging pleasantries and I had this visual of the time he had on a surgical glove and um proceeded to um.....

Now it was time to go to the 'Express' 'Baskets Only' check-out. I note one of my pet peeves. The basket handles of a basket, three down, has it handles folded in and thus the stack of baskets is in disarray. I have to straighten out the handles and stack the baskets neatly. I make sure the handles on my basket are placed folding out. The shopper behind me places their basket on the stack with the handles folded inwards.

In front of me, is the 'oblivious' customer who has brought a shopping trolley to the baskets only check-out. She has purchased half the store. The cashier looks at me and shrugs her shoulders. And I wait and I wait. The check-out next to the one I'm at, suddenly opens and a bunch of customers who were after me, rush over and of course, are out of the store before me.

At last, bag of groceries packed, I went to the counter at the entrance. This would be the counter where you can buy lottery tickets. There is only one person in front of me. Once again, that might seem to be good news. So what does this person do? Well she buys twenty scratch cards, of which, she insists on scratching, right then and there. She then purchases Lotto this and Lotto that. And just when you think she is about to leave, the lady gets the cashier to run through all her previous zillion tickets from Lotto this and Lotto that, through this machine to see if she has won anything. She has not. I was hoping she might have won the big one and would never return. So, after fifteen minutes of twiddling my thumbs, whistling, smiling through gritted teeth and staring at the ceiling, I bought my newspaper......

Exhausted, I traipsed back to my car. Of course, that would be the same car that seemed to have vanished, because it was either stolen or I couldn't remember where I'd parked it. However, after much roaming around and under the watchful eye of the store's security guard, I found my car and put in my groceries.

I was about to drive home when I remembered that a store nearby had been taken over by new management and I was curious to see what was on offer. I went in and was amazed by the huge Halloween section. I saw a lady I recognised from behind, as being someone I'd had some pleasant chats with. She was playing with a scary Halloween doll that made a screaming noise. I went up to her and said, "Boo! Very spooky!" She turned around and it was a total stranger......

Back in my car and time to go home. This time I used the key to the car to start it.....

Paw Attention.

2011-10-22T22:58:00.001Z

Greetings. Yes, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Here's a photo of me talking to one of my many admirers. Yes, even cats recognise my obvious writing prowess. Hey cat! Calm down. I do understand you are starstruck seeing my awesome self.

You may have noted in the post before this post that the human I so kindly allow to live with me, put up an award announcement. Yes indeed, it was the 'Friendly Blogger Award. However, the friendly blogger who bestowed this award to this site, included me as a friendly blogger. So, in fairness, it's my turn to add some more friendly bloggers to the list. Thanks again Teresa, who can be found here, A Likely Story , for thinking of me and that human, Gary.

Here goes, the Friendly Blogger Award to these bloggers to do as they wish with.

1: the modern day spinster ....

2: Scribble and Edit

3: Random Thoughts

4: Lenny's World

5: Prufrock's Dilemma

6: Four Legged Views

7: Life, Love & Living in France

8: Nancy S. Thompson

9: DC RELIEF

10: Views From the Bald Patch

11: Everyday Life

12: R. Jacob Post

13: Rantings of the Reckmonster

14: Pearl, Why You Little...

15: Carole Anne Carr

16 HATTATT

And just like my human noted, we think of all of you who so kindly visit our site, a friend. We are very grateful.

Speaking of friendly, honourable mention must go to Casper the friendly ghost writer.

And of course, that famous Canadian, 'The Friendly Giant'.

In case any of you doubted that I do my own posts.....well, here you go, the above photo is of me formulating this article. All I have to do now is press...... "PAWBLISH POST".......

Friends.

2011-10-18T22:50:00.000Z

Ah yes, friends. And when I note 'friends', it is in no way a reference to that nauseating, sickly sweet American television 'shitcom', I mean 'sitcom' show, 'Friends'. That would be the show that had Jennifer Aniston amongst the galaxy of stars. Yes, the same Jennifer Aniston who was devastated when I told her I wouldn't marry her. So, yes indeed, to try and get over her heartache, she married and then divorced, Brad Pitt. I guess she never really got over me turning her down. Which reminds me, if you're reading this Brad, no I won't tell you the secret in regards to my stunningly good looks. Or, is that stunning or stunned look...Anyway, whatever, Brad, deal with it.

So nothing to do with the television show, Friends. The show that also featured Courtney Cox. You may recall her in a certain Bruce Springsteen video. Yes, his video for 'Dancing in the Dark', where he beckons a very young Courtney Cox to come and dance on the stage with him. And judging by their dancing, I wish they had danced in the dark, total dark.

Before I completely digress from the actual theme of this posting.....I suppose there might be a bit of a clue in the above photo. Teresa, over at this friendly site : A Likely Story has very kindly bestowed the 'Friendly Blogger Award' to me because she considers me to be a friendly blogger. Teresa, I'm most honoured that you would think of me as a friendly blogger friend.

Okay, I'm supposed to forward this award onto a few friendly bloggers. Of course, you are all friendly and during an extremely difficult time in my personal life, your friendship has been a lifeline. However, even though I consider you all to be my friends, I wish to pass on the award to the following for their ongoing kindness to me that goes beyond any words. To all my blogger friends, I am truly grateful.

1: A Moment At A Time On Cluculz Lake

2: THE SNEE

3: Austanspace

4: thefeatherednest

5: PSYCHO CARNIVAL

6: W.M. Morrell's Musings From Down Under

7: browndogcbr

8: Positive Letters....inspirational stories ....

9: A Day in the Life

10: Soundoff

11: CindyLu'sMuse

12: It's A Lollipop World

13: Ten lives and second chances

14: The Manic Chef

15: joanne rose

To all of those friendly bloggers I have forwarded this award too; please do not feel any obligation to acknowledge this award or, if you do, to not list as many friends as me.

I am going through the toughest time of my life. I've been in the background and not very proactive. I cannot think straight and I'm exhausted. My dear friends, all of you, I hope you understand.

The Sadness In Your Smile.

2011-10-12T02:24:00.000Z

Within you lies great beauty
Yet I see the sadness in your smile
I see it as my duty
To walk with you a mile.

'Walk a mile', as in walk a mile in your shoes, your moccasins, to try to understand and not pass judgement. To experience what you experience.
In this all too hectic, fast-paced world, it can be easy to ignore the plight of our brothers and sisters in their time of need. I reach out and will do my utmost to turn those tears of sorrow into tears of joy and laughter.
I know we can all be here for each other. We can realise a better place in what should be an all different, all equal society, that embraces the diversity of mankind. Nobody has the right to devalue your humanity.

I see the homeless man
With the sparkle in his eye
I see the greed with the evil plan
And ask the question why?

Are Spiders Narcissistic?

2011-10-05T01:08:00.000Z

Cobwebs. Now the cobwebs I'm referring too, have nothing to do with a cob as in, corn on the cob, a thickset, stocky, short-legged horse, a roundish lump of coal, or even a male swan. Although, I've no doubt, that a male swan may well have its own web (webbed) site. There are many definitions of cob to be found. Some might even be slightly suggestive. Anyway, I'm not going to get a 'cob on', over it.

Of course, I'm referring to cobwebs or spider webs. Have you ever noticed that your car can be nice and clean, except on the side mirrors? You washed the car yesterday and it was spotless. You go out the next morning and note the cobwebs on the side mirrors. So, you remove the cobwebs. You go back in the house. Five minutes later, you decide you need to go back to your car. And once again, there are cobwebs on your side mirrors. Then you look at the row of cars on your street. You notice that everyone of them has cobwebs on the side mirrors. Out of frustration, you decide to wash your car again. Five minutes later, the cobwebs have returned to your car's side mirrors.
So, I'm wondering if spiders are narcissistic? Do they love to pose and admire themselves on your car's side mirrors? Maybe it's posing, showing of its 'daddy long legs'. Maybe, just maybe, it's a plot by spiders to piss us off. You are driving along and realise that the cobwebs you forgot to clean off have caused you to not see the really angry cop who is trying to get you to pull over.
Then again, I've never actually seen a spider on the side mirror. Only the cobwebs. Oh how I wish to see a spider on a Fiat Spider.
If you had an ear of corn lying on a spider's web....would that be 'corn on the cobweb'?

For your consideration. Here's a web sight. And yes, Spider-Man has his very own website. You may have realised, if you actually read this posting, that I obviously need to 'clear away my cobwebs', have another cup of coffee and go outside, to yet again, clean off the cobwebs on my otherwise clean car. That would be unless I mention the bird shit, but that's another story.....

A Cacophony Of Confusing Chatter.

2011-09-30T01:19:00.000Z

For too long, I've been feeling like I'm the solitary figure, sitting in a crowded room. Off in the corner, listening to the voices, blending together like garbled gibberish. Not one voice discernible amongst the cacophony of confusing chatter.

Yet, I felt this way as I sat alone in my living room, trying to battle against the negative energy that has battered my fragile ego. I needed calm. I needed peace. I needed the mixed up voices of the inner critic to hush and let me breathe again. Then I remembered just how beautiful it is in the world just outside my front door. I needed to go out. The above photo is a view of The Roaches, just four miles from the town of Leek. The photograph was taken from a vantage point just a few minutes walk from where I live.

Three miles north of where I live, you can get this magnificent view of Rudyard Lake in the foreground and a hill named, The Cloud, in the background. You can click to enlarge any of the photos.

And now I observe the view on offer from the road that runs along the side of The Roaches. Off in the distance, the sleepy town of Leek can be seen.

You may be aware just how sunny and warm it has been here in Britain. Here is the sun almost set beyond yonder hill. The view from The Roaches, on this most gorgeous of days, left me feeling alive and refreshed.

The sun had almost sunk beyond the horizon. I sat there alone and reflected upon the day, that glorious day I decided to go out and learn to breathe again. The cacophony of confusing chatter had been replaced by the soothing calm of a gentle voice. The voice that told me that the negative energy would never defeat me.

And tomorrow? Well, based on today, I shall endeavour to live my life embracing the magic of a positive reality.

Cheese And Thank You.

2011-09-25T00:57:00.000Z

'Ooh, that's why I'm cheesy. I'm cheesy like Sunday morning.' Or to kinda', sorta' quote the Beatles, 'Cheese, cheese me, whoa yeah, like I cheese you....' Did you know that the week of September 24 until October 2, is 'British Cheese Week'? If you weren't aware of this and wanted to find out all about it, there's a link in regards to the campaign to promote, yes, you guessed it, British Cheese. Here's the link : British Cheese Week

I love cheese. I've mentioned in another posting, just how much I love cheese. The stronger, the stinkier, the better. Cheese so smelly, so ripe, that just the aroma wafting up, heading directly for your nose, is enough to singe your nostril hairs.

Dogs love cheese. Well, every dog I've offered cheese too has gone into a frenetic fun-filled frenzy. Note Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star's enthusiasm over the pack of cheese.

I love cottage cheese. I have noted that folks here in England are not that keen on cottage cheese. That's very good. This means, at the 'reduced price' section in the supermarket, the army of 'old rage pensioners', who clear out everything else, by the trolley load, leave me the tubs of cottage cheese.

At this point, I would probably attempt a few predictable cheese puns. I know, you Gouda be kidding. Instead, I leave you with a series of films, and no, not the film on really stinky cheese, but movie type films that were dedicated to cheese. 'The Big Cheesy', 'Cheesy Rider', 'Five Cheesy Pieces', 'Cheesy Come, Cheesy Go' and of course, who could forget this classic British cheesy movie, 'Cheese Sir!'.

Now, I have no idea what kind of cheese you like. Maybe you hate cheese. Perhaps the idea of being overwhelmed by the fumes of really strong cheese, makes you think of these lyrics, 'cheese release me, let me go...' Then again, to kinda', sorta' quote John Lennon, '..all we are saying is give cheese a chance...'

Penny wants to take your photo. 'Smile and say 'cheese'......

The Big Bank Theory.

2011-09-20T01:17:00.001Z

I just want to take this opportunity to thank Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, for submitting a guest 'pawsting', I mean , posting. Penny has tried to teach me how to be a better writer and thus, I shall give it a try in this article. She has already tried to teach me how to roll over, play dead, beg and shake a paw. Thanks Penny.
I will do my utmost to formulate some semblance of credible writing. This might be difficult because my head's all over the place, but my heart's on my sleeve. This may explain the weird looks I get from those I walk by.
Actually, to heck with some futile attempt at some semblance of credible writing. By overwhelming popular demand, okay, one person, I've decided to do a nonsensical, disjointed post.
I keep hearing about 'the big bank theory'. The theory goes something like this. First of all, become the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of a big bank and get rewarded for incompetence, whilst your millions of loyal customers are thinking about such trivial things like, will they have a roof over their heads, a job tomorrow, or food on the table. And to top it off, as a CEO, you will get a nice hefty bonus, at the end of the year, for a job not well done. Great stuff! A bonus for buffoonery. An incentive for idiocy. And when you become the epitome of incompetence, it gets even better. Apparently you morph into a 'Fat Cat'. What's that you say? It aint no theory, it's fact ? Say it aint so......
Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star is now working on the'big bark theory'. She's working on the theory by yapping really loudly in my ears. She tried her theory while I was having my nap.....
I've also heard something about CAPITAL PUNISHMENT. From what I've been told 'Post Control Officers' are now monitoring articles and you can be punished for the over-usage of CAPITAL LETTERS. the punishment can involve a 'long sentence' as you wait for your inevitable punishment and of course, this long sentence must not have capitals in it and you will notice that at the very beginning of this long sentence, there is no capital letter to start this long sentence, whatsoever!

The above photograph is a venue in London, England named the 'O2 Arena', formally named the 'Millennium Dome'. The building was 'completed' in late 1999 and officially opened on January 1, 2000. Now then, to me it looks like it hasn't been completed. Look at all those 'cranes' sticking out of the roof. Or maybe it's supposed to look like the world's largest pincushion. The O2 Arena? 'O 2 see it actually finished.

Here's a photo from the opening ceremony back on January 1 2000 when it was called the Millennium Dome.
Gosh, brings a tear to my eye, as the Queen and Tony Blair, hand in hand, sang the words of "Auld Lang Syne". Oh, the lady on the right is his wife, Cherie Blair.
There you go, a ridiculous, nonsensical post. Full of my moronic musings. Something tells me I needed a longer nap. THE END....whoops!

My Human Has Gone For A Nap.

2011-09-16T00:13:00.001Z

Greetings, tis I, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Gary or 'klahanie', the human that I so kindly allow to live with me, has gone for a nap. The old fellow is exhausted and thus I said I'd take over and do a posting for him.
This creates a bit of a doggy dilemma for me. Whenever I do one of my thought provoking posts, the amount of visits to this site, increase dramatically. I feel terrible for the poor human knowing that my articles are perhaps more highly regarded than his. It has even been suggested that I set up my very own dog blog. However, if I were to do this, Gary's site would probably be forgotten. So, to keep you visiting, I will not set up my very own blog and just do the occasional post on here.

I've sensed that my human has been somewhat like this animal I know. Half cantaloupe, half dog. Yes, he's been like my friend the 'melon collie'. Sorry, Gary's been melancholy. Being the loving, caring Jack Russell that I am, here's a photo that I hope will cheer him up. For yes, I have decided to forget about the football, jump down from my comfortable seat and pick up my dog hairs!

Now I'm back in my comfortable chair. Maybe if I stick out my tongue and make a funny face, that will make my human smile :) You can click to enlarge these lovely photos of me :)

Recently Gary received this award from one of our dearest blogging friends, Joylene Butler, who if you've never visited her site, can be found here: A Moment At A Time On Cluculz Lake However, because I recently did a similar posting about this in a slightly different format, thanks to Delores at the following location: thefeatherednest , I thought it best to just acknowledge and thank Joylene on Gary's behalf and not repeat myself. The posting that I did was titled: Penny's Seven Links.

Now I lay here on a nice warm blanket. My human, so very, very tired, is still asleep. Rest, my human, rest and awaken refreshed, with a smile on your face.
Until next time, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, bids thee a fond farewell. Ah yes....a nap seems like a very good idea........

The Aftermath.

2011-09-13T00:46:00.000Z

It's been a drab and dreary summer in this 'green and pleasant land'. Day after day of dull skies and torrential downpours. And now the remnants of Hurricane Katia has cut an angry swath across this battered isle. You may note the aftermath of the storm and how it has blown over my patio table and parasol. That would be the parasol that has only be opened twice this summer. So much for lazing about on a sunny day and enjoying the delights of a barbecue.

And yet, despite it all, I know I've an abundance of positive aspects in my life to be deeply and profoundly, grateful for. I have a warm home and the raging storm was but a passing phase. There have been many affected by storms that have turned their lives into personal chaos.

Ten years after the day the world witnessed the worst and the best of humanity, I embrace the thought that beyond the storm, the aftermath, mankind will see the sun, once again.

Together, With Hope, We Cope.

2011-09-07T01:59:00.000Z

I gazed out my window. And the rain wept down, tears filled my eyes, as the rain wept down. Yet through those windswept droplets, through my own distorted view, I heard a gentle voice, the voice of my inner child. "See beyond the window. See beyond the rain." And thus, no longer street lamps on a desolate road. The glowing lamps became twinkling stars in a cosmic fireworks display.
There is many a day I wake up and I feel I cannot breathe. Waves and shivers of panic immerse my very being. It's a constant battle with the inner critic and the inner child. I'm struggling. Oh, how I'm struggling. I have done my utmost to maintain a positive environment. An environment that has been attacked by indifferent people who caused such stressful problems. And with the remaining remnants of my dignity, they leave me to pick up the pieces of many a shattered dream.
Yet, I know I must, with every fibre of my positive self, stay strong, stay resilient, stay determined. If you are feeling helpless and hopeless. Alone and isolated. Please know that I am here for you. I have seen beyond the window, beyond the rain. I know that what appears to be a negative, can be reborn and nurtured into a heartfelt positive. It's what our inner child would want. Together, with hope, we cope.

"Follow You, Follow Me"

2011-09-02T23:27:00.000Z

For reasons beyond any fathomable comprehension, I have been honoured in receiving the above award which you might have guessed is called the "One To Follow Award". Now then, the award was created by Kate over at the following site : The Scribbling SeaSerpert Kate created this award in celebration of her passing the 200 mark in followers and forwarded on the award to bloggers she thought should be followed, if you don't already follow them. Do you follow what I'm saying, so far? To continue...one of the bloggers who received the award from Kate, proceeded to bestow the award onto shy, humble and oh so unassuming me. Thus, I wish to thank Madeleine, over at the following blog : Scribble and Edit . If for some reason you have never checked out Madeleine's site, I would highly recommend her blog which has lots of variety and poetry and romantic type writing and suddenly I've noticed I've used 'and' a lot and realise that this has turned into a run-on sentence and so, I will bring this sentence to a screeching halt!
Now then, I noted that Madeleine forwarded on the award to three bloggers, okay two bloggers plus me. So, I have decided to do the same thing. I have always maintained that you cannot judge a blog by the number of followers it has. As far as I'm concerned, some of the most interesting and thoughtful blogs have few followers. Here are three bloggers I believe should get further recognition for their writing and I do hope you consider them worthy of following. Each one is one to follow.

Here they are.

1. Heather writes with passion, honesty and transparency. Here is the link to her site : Soundoff
2. David articulates an intelligent and informative blog whose underlying theme is to eliminate the unfair stigma that still surrounds mental health issues. David can be discovered here : A Day in the Life
3. Laura writes on a wide variety of topics. Sometimes serious, sometimes witty and sometimes with a touch of irony. Well worth checking out. Here is the link to her site : Austanspace

In keeping with the theme of the posting, I leave you with the 1978 song by Genesis from the album "And Then There Were Three", titled, "Follow You, Follow Me"

The 'Wee Folks' Peaceful Summer's Night.

2011-08-30T02:38:00.000Z

Twas such a peaceful summer's night. A rarity of fine weather had shone down that day in my sleepy English garden. That glowing orb, the star that lights our skies, had slipped away to horizon west.

And there they were. A gathering of 'wee folks', smiling, rejoicing on such a peaceful summer's night.

Amongst the moonlit blossoms and leaves were Geoffrey the garden gnome, Fidelina his beautiful fairy princess wife and their child, so symbolic of the magic, the power of true love, Einahalk, the wee folks, wee lad.

The wee folks live in a magical world where no judgement shall ever be passed. Where the wonders of life and the beauty around is seen through the clarity of an open mind. No stigmas, no labels, no stereotypes. They can teach us to celebrate the diversity of life. Rather than fear what we do not understand, we must realise, just like the wee folks realise, we are all different, yet all equal.

Are Friends Electric?

2011-08-25T23:50:00.000Z

"You know I hate to ask...but are friends electric?" You might be familiar with that song, "Are Friends Electric", by Gary Numan and the Tubeway Army, which came out in the summer of 1979. The song got me thinking about my friends out there on "Electric Avenue".
Some might take a scientific view of whether friends are indeed electric. You know, the kind that touch you on a cold winter's day and give you a bit of zap. Talk about your friends giving you static.
I know, ohm my god, watt am I talking about? Does it have anything to do with 'current' affairs? Well, in a way, it does have to do with the current and the flow of electricity that drives my computer. It has everything to do with the comfort I receive from those I have gotten to know out there in the vast and varied world that lies beyond the glow of my screen.
I am but one man, who through a series of sad, heartbreaking and traumatic events, woke up one day and found himself to be a lonely, isolated recluse. A scared man, barely coping, barely functioning. So, what keeps me going? What determines I face another day with renewed determination? It's the love I have for my son and for our precious dog. It's the overwhelming kindness and compassion I have been graced with from comments and emails. Ah yes, my electric friends. Friends on the other side. The other side of my computer screen, who reach out, and for those few precious moments, I am no longer alone. Thank you.

Where The Sea And The Sky Embrace.

2011-08-21T00:19:00.000Z

Down through the field, through the field of maize....oh how I love to gaze....Down through the bay, on a summer's day, where little boats rest and wait for the crest.... that's just over there....there to the west. If you click to enlarge on this tranquil scene, you, my friend, will know what I mean.

And thus, there they wait, wait for the waters of yonder sea.

And the tide rolls in. Some are free. Some are yet to be.

And through the leaves, beyond the sea, there is a magical place, for you, for me.

Let your thoughts drift away.....drift through the green....drift through the sand and take my hand....come with me to that magical place....where the sea and the sky embrace....

Beyond The Beach.

2011-08-16T00:10:00.000Z

Tranquil seas, beyond the trees, immerse me with fond memories.

I love to the see the beauty

The beauty in the sea

Where the waves roll in

And the waves roll out.

As the tides of change

Flow through my mind

I am one with the sea

And the sea is me.

Penny's Seven Links.

2011-08-13T02:26:00.000Z

Okay, Gary aka klahanie, has been 'tagged', which is a good thing. About time he had some proper identification so the authorities can check his whereabouts. Almost a month ago, the human I allow to live me, was tagged by a really neato blogger who can be found over at this here site, the feathered nest If, for some unimaginable reason, you haven't checked out that site, I highly recommend that you do so.

The challenge is to go back through your archives and place seven of your posts into different categories and in turn, to nominate five bloggers to do the same thing.
Ummm....really, well that could take some doing. Finding seven of Gary's posts to actually be even remotely worthy of your attention. So, I'm going to compromise on this one. Even though I'm not the 'self-pawmoting' type of adorable dog, you know, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, I'm going to put some of my 'pawstings' on here in the various categories. Here goes.... 'arf' you ready?

Category 1 : Most beautiful post :   The Little Red Wagon Parade. Because I take pity on Gary, I've selected one of his posts.
Category 2 : Most popular post : Can't Fly With Me?   Oh well, the most popular post on this site has to do with 'adult only planes'. People keep searching for 'cartoon plane', visit the site for like zero seconds and off they go. Now and this is more like it, at one time, the most popular post on this site was written by Gary and it has to do with 'horse manure'. Which is very reminiscent of the crap he writes.
Category 3 : Most controversial post : My Brain Is Fried. This one was brutally honest and in all seriousness, I really felt for him on that posting.
Category 4 : Most helpful : The A to Zed Alphabark Challenge. I observed, with bewilderment, that a lot of bloggers were doing some kind of challenge that taught them the letters of the Alphabet. Thus, trying to be of help, I added my very own, 'pawsonel' thoughts on this highly important challenge!
Category 5 : The post whose success surprised me the most. That would be in so far as one that got a lot of hits that I was very surprised got a lot of hits. So naturally, it's one of Gary's posts : The Originals Of The Species. I have really no idea why a photo of Gary, posing with a sombrero, would get so many hits on the site. I mean, good grief, look at the state of him. And that silly grin on his face....
Category 6 : The post that didn't get the attention it deserved : The 'Wee Folks' Wedding. The 'wee folks' are my friends and they live in our garden. Gary, much to the bemusement of our neighbours, went out and took photos of that blessed and magical event. I know that very few have looked at the photos and I think they are well worth marvelling at.
Category 7 : The post I'm most proud of. In fairness, I'm going to submit two. The first one is the one that Gary had read on the radio. It's still beyond my comprehension why they would have him as part of an interview. So, here it is : A Near-Life Experience.   And, here's the 'pawsting' I'm post proud of : Pawsitive Wishes.

Righty ho, those were Penny's seven links. Yes, I'm supposed to nominate five bloggers to do the same. However, because I'm ready for yet another nap, I thought that if you want to 'tag' yourself and submit your own links, then by all means, go for it.

To delight you beyond any adequate adjectives, below are a couple of photos of me, yes me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.

Here's me guarding the garden. Note my concentration.

That's just about it, my adoring fans. Yet another fascinating, must-read 'pawsting' by this modest dog who would never, ever 'self-pawmote'. Press, ''PAWBLISH PAWST ".....

And Tomorrow?

2011-08-10T22:45:00.000Z

And tomorrow? The sun sinks into the western horizon. The flames of desperation, of sadness, torment and pain, burn the fragments of society, burn the hearts and souls of so many, in this 'green and pleasant land'. And tomorrow? What of tomorrow?

I sit alone in my garden. Listen to the gentle wind swirling through the trees. I gaze at our magical moon and the tears of feeling so helpless, so hopeless, trickle down my cheeks. In a darkened room, lies my son. My son, tired from another day of going nowhere in a nowhere land. With sleep, I pray he finds a few precious moments of freedom from the pain.
I am but one man, one man who will do his utmost to make this world a better place. It starts with the understanding that a positive environment starts from within. In turn, I extend this positivity to my son and the rest of the world.
May we embrace a better way and be here for each other. We can and we shall make a difference. For this must be our legacy to our children. We can give a gift of a better tomorrow, for all living things, on our precious and fragile planet. In peace, compassion and kindness, Gary.

The Sadness Of One Young Man.

2011-08-07T00:28:00.001Z

I thought it only fair to warn you that the following posting is going to have a considerable amount of swear words that you might consider inappropriate. They will be used to describe the sheer impact that an ongoing situation is doing to my son's life and my life. So, if you perceive the profanity in an offensive context, I would suggest you do not read any further. Thank you.

For over two years, my son has struggled to get any work. There have been fleeting glimpses of hope when he managed to get a bit of Agency work. The first bit of employment went okay, at first, until the Agency only offered him one day a week, less money than on unemployment benefits. During the few days he actually worked at the allocated job, my son felt very lonely, very left out. For the people he worked with would not speak in English. He was hoping to be involved in a bit of banter. Banter that never came. And thus, because of the dwindling hours and a lonely environment, my son went back on benefits.
Just before I left for my trip to Canada in early May, my son got another job via another Agency. Before I left, the job was going well and he seemed happy in his work. It was so wonderful to see the smile return to his face. So uplifting to his see his confidence, his self esteem, take a turn for a much welcomed better. This was of great relief to me knowing that he was working while I was away. Upon my return, his job was still going well, but he had concerns.
The work, via the Agency, was with the local Council, which you might call 'City Hall', or 'local government'. The work was designated out by a supervisor at the Council. My son was getting three to four days a week whilst another young man, who started about two months after him, was getting five days a week. That particular young man's dad is a friend of the supervisor who determines the work rota. My son asked if he could perhaps get more work because he noted the chap in question was getting more work than him. Well, the supervisor went ballistic and stated, 'I decide who works or who doesn't!' The supervisor phoned the Agency and told them that he no longer wanted my son working for the Council.
Okay, perhaps my son could of phrased it in such a way that he just merely asked for more possible work. However, that's not the point. My son's morals are intact and he was questioning what I consider an outrageous injustice. I'm fucking incensed and seething with rage and if it wasn't for the fact my son doesn't want me to get involved, I would love to meet that asshole who let my son go and tell the insecure, ego-tripping prick just what devastation he had caused in my son's life and my life. However, I've heard a rumour that the supervisor may be losing his job because he has screwed around a few people. I hate to be like this, but I hope the fucker loses his job.
Oh yes, I've seen it all before, I've been a victim of such bullshit in my work life. Yes, it's, 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink', the old 'face fit', 'not what you know, it's who you know, or blow', situation. And what of the consequences? It's low-life scum like that supervisor, that have had a severe impact on the well being of my son. Who the fuck do people like that supervisor think they are? Fucking around with people's lives and probably not even giving a shit.
Sad, desperate and disillusioned, my son signed back onto unemployment benefits. Benefits he had to wait a month for and they would not backdate the money. And yes, the Job Centre. He has to travel on the bus, at his own expense, to sign on for his benefits, a distance of twenty two miles, round trip. One time, there were roadworks and the bus got to its destination, ten minutes late. He went to sign on and he was told, because he was ten minutes late, that he could not sign on and would have to come back in six hours time He tried to explain, but they would not listen. And so, because he did not want to wander around for six hours on a cold November morning, he returned home and went back at the new time. Job Centre, what the fuck is wrong with you? For fuck sakes, a bit of leniency and a bit of respect, please. Things are tough enough without you treating those who are trying to find work, like they are something that you scraped off your fucking shoe!
It's doing my head in seeing my son get so fucked about. He feels 'trapped', wants to move out, get on with his life. And you know what? Oh, I cry for my son, for all of those who have similar stories to tell. My young man, another youngster whose dreams have been dashed by this brutal economy and brutal people. A young man who sees his qualifications going to waste. Oh, I'm struggling to cope with it all. I'm worried sick that any more knocks will wear him down.
Despite the fuckers with their lack of morals, I shall stay positive and focused on a more encouraging and optimistic future, for him and for all the desperate and decent young women and young men, who just want to get on with their lives. And to all those who have the fucking audacity to devalue the humanity of those in sad and desperate situations, I say, how fucking dare you!

Home, Home And The Range.

2011-08-03T00:41:00.000Z

I've delighted you, beyond your wildest dreams, by posting about such fascinating topics as rubber gloves.
If you're really bored, have extra time to waste, instead of checking out those really important bloggers, there is a link included to each photo reference. So here you go, if you want to read some additional crap written by shy and humble me : Rubber Gloves. If you don't want to read this part of the posting, may I suggest you scroll way down to the photograph that has to do with the title of this posting. I think you will figure it out. It's way, way down there. I've been tempted to do one of those way too long postings that has loads and loads of pictures. You know the type of blog, where you scroll down and down and down...pick up on a couple of key words and leave a comment based on those couple of key words. That way, even though you haven't really read the posting, it almost seems that maybe you sort of , kind of , did. Happy scrolling......

And 'non-stick' frying pans. And the link to that 'must read' posting. That would be if by some unbelievable reason you haven't read this masterpiece of mayhem, before : Non-Stick Frying Pans.

Perhaps reading, or most likely rereading this posting. I would say it's probably the coolest article I ever wrote : The Talking Fridge.

And who would not want to discuss which way your 'ass wipe', 'bog roll', also known as 'toilet paper', should be placed on the toilet roll holder : Bog Roll.

Or the practical wonders of the great British central heating radiator : A Heated Debate.

Then there was this posting that told you all about the fact that I can actually, sort of use my washing machine : Airing My Clean Laundry.

Finally, yes finally, now that the very out of character self-promotion has concluded and you may have scrolled down to this part, that's if you're actually still here, I wish to announce to you that I have a shiny new fan oven, complete with shiny new stainless steel pots and pans.
I love my shiny new oven, or cooker, or stove, or range, or whatever the hell you call it. Oh yes, I've twiddled its knobs and stared at the lights. I was amazed at just how quickly the ceramic hob heated up. It really was an element of surprise.

Here is my beautiful new oven with a tranquil blue glow being cast upon it by the gentle ambience of my kitchen lighting and a flash bulb. So inspired by this vision that I started listening to the music of Beethoven.

If you are still here, please don't grill me over basting, I mean, wasting your time. In this photo you may have suspected that there had been a power surge caused by some alien 'Mothership' hovering nearby my home. That would be somewhat reminiscent of an early scene of 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'. However, although you may think that, based on this nonsensical posting, that what's left of my brain has been abducted by aliens, I can assure that it's just the oven heating up in preparation for me to stick something in it.
Oh gosh, innuendo alert. Warm wishes and a pot-bellied stove, your way, Gary, yes, shy and humble, Gary.

Chocolate Blog Cake.

2011-07-30T02:28:00.000Z

I have been honoured with such a sweet award. That really does take the cake. Please don't dessert me, because it wont be a long posting. Actually, it will be a trifle short. Sure, I could attempt to come up with a whole load of sweet, food related, plays on words. No, that would be silly. Now where did I put my puncakes?

The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award was forwarded onto me by a Canadian published author who recently had a book launch for her latest novel, 'Broken but not Dead'. Thus, I wish to thank one of my writing hero's, Joylene Butler, for passing this award onto shy and humble me. Joylene a brilliant writer who does and informative and supportive blog, can be found, here : Joylene Nowell Butler, author A MOMENT AT A TIME ON CLUCULZ LAKE

Here are some rules n'stuff.

1. Thank and link back to the person who like gave you the award.

2. Share seven random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the award onto five deserving recipients. (Okay, it's supposed to be fifteen, but I'm too lazy.)

4. Contact those who you have forwarded this award onto.

Seven random 'facts' that you are thrilled to know about me.

1. I was invited out of the audience at a high school function to perform with a touring group of South Korean gymnasts. I joined my hands together to make a circle with my arms. You know, kinda' like a hoop. This one dude was supposed to jump through my arms. He missed and knocked me to the floor. I wasn't hurt, but a lot of high school kids had a right good laugh.

2. I can blow between my index and middle finger and making a farting noise. I'm in demand at all the best parties.

3. I went to a formal dinner party dressed in a pink bunny suit. I was lied too.

4. I know how to use my washing machine.

5. I went to a friend's wedding and at the reception, when we were introduced to the bride, I noticed that nobody had kissed the bride. And thus I went to kiss the bride. There was a ghastly silence and some shocked looks. It turned out that in their religion, whatever it was, you were not allowed to kiss the bride. I was told I could kiss her sister, but she gave me this really evil look.

6. I had a bicycle with two flat tyres (tires) and no handle bars. I used it to deliver newspapers when I was a kid. Times were tough.

7. I was born in England, but went to live in Canada when I was nine. I was on the elementary school 'soccer' team, but I was lousy at football. Strangely enough, I was very good at baseball.

Now I pass this award onto the following five, oh so irresistibly sweet bloggers.

1. CindyLu's Muse Ah yes, now CindyLu does a wonderful and highly informative blog. The human who co-stars with her, Kim, is a thoroughly decent lady and it reflects within their postings. Here's what it notes on their site, "Welcome! We're passionate about pets, rescue and adoption, and animal welfare. Enjoy your visit! Kim Thomas and CindyLu"

2. the feathered nest A delightful, witty, thoughtful and varied blog. It's my great honour and pleasure to interact with this kind and caring lady. I hope you will go over and say 'hello'.

3. A Likely Story Teresa writes a charming and very clever, thought provoking blog. And Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star has admired her dog Tilly's writing skills.

4. browndog cbr And then there's Brown Dog, better known as Hawk. Y'all should check out this site and marvel at the adventures and photos of that there talented dog. Penny is a big fan of Hawk, y'all.

5. Four Legged Views May I suggest you check out a very thoughtful blog admired by Penny and me. Here is what it notes, "Welcome to My Blog Page. My name is Bert and I am so excited to share my life with you. I am a Search Dog with American Search Dogs, and a Therapy Dog. Vickie and I have many great adventures as well as a very fun day to day life here at Canine Country Club. I have lots of friends I would like to introduce you to so thanks for checking in now and again, feel free to sign up as a follower and please send me comments when you get the time. Enjoy."

Oh gosh, speaking of irresistibly sweet....it's Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star......

Supporting Each Other.

2011-07-26T01:35:00.000Z

I am a man who has been blessed with gifts of support from some very kind and special people within the great community of bloggers. The above award I receive with much gratitude. The award was forwarded to me because I have been considered of being support to fellow bloggers.

I wish to apologise for not responding to this award at an earlier time.

I was given this award by GEM over at the following site, the modern day spinster.... GEM writes a cleverly written, witty and thought provoking blog that I consider a must read. Indeed, this very kind lady has an important message within her words and if you have not already done so, I would highly recommend that you check her site out. Thank you GEM and thank you for your support.

I also received this award from a very kind and supportive man and was not aware of it until I checked back through GEM's link. This fine gentleman had bestowed the award upon me while I was in Canada. And so, I wish to thank Kelly, over at the following site, PSYCHO CARNIVAL for considering me to be supportive. If you have never visited Kelly's site, do not let the title of his blog make you assume it's all zany and surreal humour. No, there is so much more to Kelly and he has written some of the finest postings I have ever had the privilege of reading. Thank you Kelly and thank you for your support.

Now the rules state that I am supposed to forward this award onto five bloggers that I consider exemplify support to their fellow bloggers. However and I think you will understand, I am going to pass on this award to just one blogger. A blogger who is going through a very tough time and has displayed remarkable support to me and other bloggers. A blogger who could easily find excuses to be negative, yet is resilient, strong and determined to embrace the power of positivity.

I dedicate this award to an amazing lady and a dear friend. I would kindly ask you to visit my dear friend's site and show her support and encouragement during a time of sorrow, a time of mixed emotions and yet a time of poignant celebration. You can visit Heather' site at the following location, Soundoff Dear Heather, and in the memory of the man you love, this award is dedicated to you.

Down A Very Steep Hill.

2011-07-22T01:35:00.001Z

Down a very steep hill, about a thirty minute walk from my mum and step-dad's home, is the shoreline of a town named White Rock, British Columbia. If you've ever been to White Rock, you will know what I mean about that very steep hill.

When I got to to the bottom of that very steep hill, before me was the twilight vision of White Rock pier.

I strolled along the pier and looked at the twinkling lights along the White Rock shoreline.

Here is a view from the end of the pier. I stood there and thought about the deeply profound and inspirational moments of my trip back home to Canada.

Back to the beginning point of the pier and night had immersed the White Rock sky. I turned around and realised that now I would have to go back up that very steep hill.

Back to the house and one last sleep. I looked out my bedroom window and knew that soon, very soon, I would be back in England. Back to my other life, my other world, a different reality.

Thank you Hope, thank you Vancouver, thank you White Rock, thank you Canada. Thank you to my friends and family for making this the most poignant and profound experience of my life.

I dedicate this posting to my friend and a man I call my brother. Wayne, the shackles have been broken and you are free to fly.....

Five Hours In Vancouver.

2011-07-18T01:20:00.000Z

In Vancouver, the old blends with the new. In the above photo, the old high-rise is named, 'The Marine Building' and is symbolic of the prevalent type of architecture of the 1930's. The building, as a matter of interest, was featured in the film, 'Timecop', starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.

You may have seen Vancouver in many a film or television show disguised as Seattle, or San Francisco, or Los Angeles, or New York, or even Washington, D.C. I can be sitting here watching my television and a movie comes on, that to me, is obviously Vancouver. 'Hey!', I think, 'I recognise that tree!'

Out of thirty five days in British Columbia, I only spent five hours in Vancouver. I recall getting off the light rapid transit system to meet up for lunch with my brother. I looked all around and was completely lost. I did not recognise anything. Vancouver was a city I lived in for twenty five years and here I was, lost and bewildered. The changes in the city have been nothing short of incredible over the last few years.

And so, with so little time, I boarded the 'SeaBus' to go over to the city of North Vancouver to get a better view of the Vancouver skyline.

In the above photo, directly in the centre front, is 'Canada Place', complete with the 'sails' on the roof. Canada Place is one of the remaining landmarks from the world's fair in Vancouver named, 'Expo 86'. Canada Place has been compared to the Sydney Opera House. The building off to the left that looks like an alien space craft has landed on it, is named, 'Harbour Centre'. You might just notice it the next time you watch a movie or television show that is supposed to be located in an American city.

Here is a SeaBus heading over the Burrard Inlet to North Vancouver.

The Vancouver skyline as observed from Lonsdale Quay in North Vancouver. If you click on this, or any photo, you can see much more detail.

The Vancouver skyline in the background of a North Vancouver harbour.

I shall now leave you with a few photos of Vancouver.

And for five hours out of thirty five days, I spent a few fleeting moments to reflect and reminisce on the Vancouver of now and the Vancouver I once knew. Yes, a lot has changed in this beautiful city, the 'Evergreen Playground', also known as, 'Hollywood North'. It is a city that has been brought to worldwide attention for all the right reasons, Expo 86 and the Winter Olympics. It is a city that has been brought to worldwide attention for all the wrong reasons, the taser shooting of a man by the RCMP at Vancouver airport, which sadly led to him dying and the riots after the Stanley Cup finals.

Vancouver, a city of great diversity, will always have a special place in my heart. Until next time, Vancouver. It's see you later,eh......

Watch The Sasquatch.

2011-07-10T01:13:00.001Z

I have been asked why I don't have more photographs of my shy and humble self on my postings. So, for your viewing pleasure, here's a photograph of a Sasquatch who so kindly posed on this bench for me. And no, before you ask, it's not me, it really is a Sasquatch.
Now some folks insist on calling this magnificent beast, 'Bigfoot'. Get it f**king straight! It's the legendary and awesome creature, Sasquatch, and here's a brief history. "In southwestern British Columbia, on southern Vancouver Island and nearby islands, live some five hundred speakers of Halkomelem, a Central Salish language in the Salish tribe language. And there is also said to be, somewhere in the mountains and woods known to the Halkomelem, a creature called in their language 'Sasquatch' or 'hairy man'." (Source Answers. Com).
There is some confusion in regards to the Sasquatch. Some may think of the Sasquatch as a Yeti with a suntan. Well, that's just plain ridiculous. That's like saying a brown bear is a polar bear with a suntan. Some may believe they have seen a Sasquatch or two, playing a gig at a rock concert, such as the dudes below.

However, I can assure you that a Sasquatch would never wear such clothes, or hats, or sunglasses and only plays classical Spanish guitar music.

Some may believe the Hollywood hype and think that the beloved Sasquatch would hang out with a bunch of humans and a cute lil' ol' dawg. Why would any respectable Sasquatch be involved with this nauseating collection of folks? And according to science, 'Bigfoot' doesn't exist. For f**k sakes, it's a Sasquatch and of course, it does exist!

And do not let this fool you. A Werewolf, I repeat, a Werewolf is not a Sasquatch. Pictured is Michael J. Fox, a legendary Canadian actor and a guy who thought he was doing a movie about a Sasquatch. Maybe the title of the film, Teen Fox, sorry Teen Wolf, might have given him a bit of a clue. Ah....Beavers...sorry, where was I?

Okay, back to my new friend who kindly posed for me on that bench. You will note that the car space is reserved for the Sasquatch. So not only do I have overwhelming evidence of the existence of the Sasquatch, you can clearly see that the space is for a Sasquatch to park their vehicle.
He was now waiting patiently for his Sasquatch wife to return in their car with their Sasquatch kids. Apparently, the wife and kids were shopping at the local supermarket and being in British Columbia, they would, no doubt, be in the shop conversing with other customers about important things like maple syrup and ice hockey.
So that's it. Remember, do not disrespect this noble creature by calling it, 'Bigfoot'. For f**k sakes, one more time, it's a Sasquatch!

Hope Amongst The Mountains.

2011-07-05T00:59:00.000Z

I would go out for a morning stroll and be awed by the mountains that surround the home of Heather and Wayne. I marvelled at such majestic wonder. Indeed, there I was in a town named Hope and hope was there, amongst the mountains. This a view of Mount Hope that I took front outside their front door.
In case you are not already aware, if you click on the photos, they will enlarge and fill up your computer screen.

And this a view of another mountain that can be seen just outside their front door. This breathtaking mountain is Mount Ogilvie.

A few minutes away from their house is this picturesque lake with a magnificent mountain backdrop. This is Kawkawa Lake and the mountain in the background is Mount Ogilvie. I spent a most reflective hour there, listening to the wind as it gently flowed through the valley.

And as day turned to night, one last look at Mount Hope.

One last glimpse of Mount Ogilvie, as the final moments of another day in Hope, drew to another profound and inspirational conclusion.

I looked out the bedroom window and watched as the moon set behind the mountains to the west. I sensed hope amongst the mountains and I know that such feelings of hope resonates in the hearts of Heather and Wayne. May hope and positivity embrace your heart.

'Pen Eh' The Jack Russell Dog And Modest Internet Star.

2011-06-30T23:26:00.000Z

Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Now then, Gary, the human I allow to live with me, came back from a really long trip over to Canada. He's told me that Canadians say 'eh' a lot, eh. So the old fart thought it would be real clever if I had my named stated in the Canadian version. Thus, 'Penny' becomes 'Pen Eh'. Oh, how clever. I think not, eh.

Right then, to humour the old dude, I reluctantly posed in front of a 'Canada Eh' t-shirt and a Vancouver Canucks flag. Apparently, a bunch of folks in British Columbia were sticking flags like the one in the photo, on their vehicles during the Canucks Stanley Cup play-off run. Whatever the heck that is. And yes, it gets worse, I went along with it and wore a genuine Canadian toque. Note my overwhelming enthusiasm.

This is my new doggy pal, Bean. Bean is a Canadian dog and is a much loved family member of Heather and Wayne's. Gary has told me that Bean is quite the runner. Aha, runner Bean...get it? Arf, forget it, eh. How you been, Bean? Bean, what say you and I do a collaboration posting sometime in the near future?

When Gary came back after five long weeks, which seemed like five years to me, I actually recognised him. I know he was worried that I might bark at him, chase him out of the house or piddle on his shoes. Much to his delight, I went crazy with excitement, gave him doggy kisses and then piddled on his shoes. I missed him as much as he missed me.

July 1 is 'Canada Day'. You can find out a bit of the history of Canada Day, here : Canada Day. So, on behalf of Gary, I wish all Canadian animals and humans, a peaceful, pawsitive Canada Day, eh. This is 'Pen Eh', Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, saying, see ya later eh.....

Bear With Me?

2011-06-26T00:08:00.001Z

I was told to watch out for the wildlife when I was staying at Heather and Wayne's. 'Watch out for raccoons and watch out for bears', I was warned. Fair enough, so I kept a watchful eye and managed to photograph a few 'scary' creatures in their garden.

I sat outside on their patio, camera at the ready. Much to my 'horror', I noticed a couple of 'menacing' looking birds helping themselves to birdseed. Suddenly I'm thinking about a remake of a certain Alfred Hitchcock film.

Then it got even worse. I observed that dreaded little creature known as a squirrel. Well, I think it's a squirrel or a chipmunk. Anyway, it's evidently some kind of rodent that can makes the lives of gardeners a sheer misery. They love to eat bulbs. And no, not the kind that light up your house. Apparently, they have a love of tulip bulbs and many a squirrel and chipmunk has been seen booking flights to Holland. Possibly with the exception of flying squirrels who save themselves a fortune in airfare.

Now then, back in my garden in England, I can have some real worries about wildlife. Who would dare want to upset a hedgehog? Even the garden gnome is wary of this 'evil' beast.

And here's another monster that has been seen wandering through my English garden. Such an animal, with that menacing look, is best kept a safe, safe distance from.

Yes indeed, beast beware! I very bravely took a chance to get a more up close photo of the crazy critter. Whoops! My gosh, it's Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star! "Hello Penny...ummm.....good dog...."

You may recall that I was told about the possibility of seeing a raccoon or maybe even a bear. I was awoken by an almighty crash. "What the f**k?", I thought. I noted the time. It was just gone 4:30 A.M. and it was starting to get light out. I looked out the bedroom window and......

And through the safety of the glass of the front door, I photographed what looks very much like a bear. Bear with me? Oh no, I definitely kept a safe, safe distance. Thank you very much.

Hope Grows In The Garden.

2011-06-21T00:22:00.000Z

And what of freedom? The freedom to soar amongst the trees and find the words to describe our pain, describe our joy.

And what of the mountains? Do we see them as barriers? Or do we visualise the view from the top and the panorama that inspires us to seek a happy life?

And through the forest, those trees of confusion in our minds, can we see the clearing ahead?

I gazed over at the snow-capped mountain, thought about my friends, Heather and Wayne. I sensed we were all on top of that mountain, looking out at a positive, more caring, more compassionate world.

We spent a couple of hours at Minter Gardens. It was a lovely, sunny day. I was grateful to be amongst such beauty and grateful to be there with two very close friends. Minter Gardens is located 115 kilometres east of Vancouver and only about a half an hours westward drive away from Hope, British Columbia.

And Wayne, what of our deeply profound conversations? I see in your eyes the passion of a man who has so much more to tell. You have told me a few tales of your life with such articulation and powerful passion. Now can truly be the time, through the magic and the wonder of the written word, for you to find some comfort for yourself, and in turn, for others. You, my friend, my brother in the true sense of transparent humanity, have a gift for writing. Open that gift and share your feelings. Your mind, your soul, will never be shackled.

Heather, Wayne, you are both testimony that, despite the adversity that entered your lives, positivity will never let the ugliness of a negative environment destroy your determination, to live your lives the way you want to live.

Hope grows in the garden. It is nurtured and will blossom through the undying force that we call love.

From Home To Home.

2011-06-15T01:14:00.000Z

I gazed out the window and said a reflective fond farewell to British Columbia. The plane took off from Vancouver airport at 5:00 P.M on Saturday, June 11. After a nine hour flight and the advancement of eight time zones, we landed at Manchester airport at 10:00 A.M., on Sunday, June 12. Where the heck had the weekend gone?
For five weeks I left my own routine to to be involved in the routine of two remarkable people. Two people who have been beset with unimaginable adversity. I did my very best to be there for my friends. My own life was put on hold. The passion I have to write was set aside for another time. Yet I know that through the deeply profound and inspirational experiences that we shared, that we embraced, my ongoing quest to be a better man, moved one step closer to a more compassionate reality. I want the mixed emotions, the joy and the despair, to be conveyed through the power and the wonder of the written word.
I'm exhausted yet elated. I'm tired, but I cannot sleep. Jet lag has left me with a feeling of surreality. I look around my English home and wonder if the last five weeks were just a dream. Did my trip back to Canada, my other home, really happen? And I realise that it was very real and very raw. I challenged, once again my anxiety, my overwhelming sense of being stupid and knew that no judgement was made of me.
I shall be doing a few postings of a time that will be etched in my heart and soul, forever. I have been humbled and I'm even more grateful for all the good that is part of my life. I have watched, with great admiration, two people who could easily be overwhelmed by a negative environment. And somehow, despite it all, they continue to seek and cherish all that's positive in life. Heather and Wayne, the next few postings, I dedicate to you.

And thus from home to home. On a misty mid-June early English morn, I reflect upon my life and understand that changes in our lives do not happen until we are sincere with ourselves.

Highway To Hope.

2011-05-26T07:40:00.000Z

It's a cold, dark, rainy early morn in the sleepy little town of Hope, British Columbia. And I listen to the rain as it taps and dances and splashes upon the bedroom window. In this moment of quiet solitude, I reflect upon the ongoing significance of my journey back to this other world, my other home, my other reality.
I'm staying with my dear friend Heather and her husband Wayne, a gentleman I've known for a very short time. Yet, time enough to understand that through all the adversity he has endured, flickers the flame that will not give negativity permission to dominate and overwhelm his life. With the ongoing support of his remarkable wife, Wayne has understood, that through trauma and tragedy, we have choices. Wayne knows he can and he must give himself permission to be positive.
A few days ago, Wayne and I went off to the local shop. We got to talking to the lady behind the counter. During our good natured chat, she mentioned that her husband was in a tribute band that did 'AC/DC' songs. Naturally, the name of the tribute band is, 'Eh C/DC'. "Ah yes", I mentioned, "AC/DC the band that did a song titled, 'Highway to Hell'. Well, I suppose we're on the highway to Hope."
Wayne and I headed back down the road and back to their beautiful home. A home nestled amongst the breathtaking beauty of Mount Hope and Mount Ogilvie. I walked along and Wayne wheeled along. Yet, I do not see this man now confined to a wheelchair. For, I see beyond the wheelchair and what I see is Wayne. His eyes tell the story of a man trying to move on from the shackles of his physical restraint. And deep down inside, I know he senses that the magic of imagination, the spirit of creativity, can never be allowed to be stifled. Through such a trying time, Wayne will become a stronger man, a better man, for he knows he can make it so.
I'm not here for a holiday. I'm not here for a sightseeing trip No, this is a deeply profound and inspirational experience that I believe is clear demonstration of humanity at its finest. Through transparency and the desire to create a positive environment, Heather and Wayne, you and me, can find a way.
Indeed, life is truly about choice. We choose the highway that determines how we travel through our lives. So, do we choose the highway to hell, or do we take take the highway to hope?

Customs To Customs.

2011-05-15T09:07:00.000Z

I knew it was time for me leave. Walking by my son's bedroom door, I gently whispered, 'goodbye' to him and to Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. It was with a sense of anxiety, mixed with excitement, that this reluctant recluse headed out his front door. Time, once again, to challenge my uncomfortable comfort zone. And thus, off I went on Saturday morning, May 7th, to travel to Manchester airport, destination, Vancouver, Canada.
I stood there at the check-in counter, waiting patiently for my turn. Whilst waiting in the line, I was approached by an official representative of the airline. "Are you travelling alone, sir?", the lady inquired. To which I replied, "Yes I am. Why, is it that obvious? Do you feel sorry for me?" The lady smiled and stated, "Sir, we are offering you 400 Canadian dollars to take a different flight." 'Hmmmm', I thought to myself. 'Does this mean that the other passengers have got up a collection to keep me off the plane? Do I look like some kind of deviant undesirable?' Well, it turned out that someone was wanting to travel with the rest of their family and didn't have a seat on my flight. The offer was for me to take the money, take a flight with a stopover in Calgary and arrive in Vancouver 2 and 1/2 hours later than I would have. If it wasn't for the fact that I was being met at Vancouver airport at an anticipated time, it would have been very tempting. I've no idea if anyone took up that offer.
Finally, our plane took off, and 9 and 1/2 hours later, we arrived in Vancouver, 1 and 1/2 hours after we left. Yes, that does sound confusing. Upon arrival in Vancouver, we endured the long wait to get to the customs officer. If you are not familiar with the wait to get to the customs officer at Vancouver airport, it makes for an overwhelming visual. In front of you is a vast sea of humanity that follows guide ropes that snakes back and forth, back and forth. After about 30 minutes, these two ladies from Manchester, complained to me about how long it was taking. I said, "Ladies, look on the bright side. This is indeed a long wait, but you have gained 8 hours." They laughed and then asked me how long it took the ferry to get to 'Victoria' Island. I corrected them and told them they meant Vancouver Island, which has the capital city of British Columbia, named 'Victoria', located on it.
After 40 minutes, it was finally my turn to talk to the customs officer dude. "I see you are going to be here for 35 days, sir. What is the purpose of your visit?" I responded, "Well, I'm here to visit friends, family and hopefully watch the Vancouver Canucks make a bit of history." He smiled and we talked hockey. "You better get going sir, the game starts in less than an hour." Only in Canada, eh. Only in Canada.
So, I grabbed my luggage, got greeted by my mum and step-dad and headed back to their home. Had a quick chat and then proceeded to sit in front of their television to watch the game. Priorities, eh. Only in Canada, eh. Only in Canada.
I spent five days with my family in the seaside town of White Rock. Even did something that is a bit of a Canadian tradition. Yep, my brother took me for a coffee at Tim Hortons.
And now I'm typing to you from the town of Hope, British Columbia. A small town about 100 miles east of Vancouver, that is surrounded by majestic mountains. A town I wrote about in my second ever blog. A town of great significance in my life and if you would like to read that posting, you will understand what I mean. Tribes and Tributes. You might be familiar with this town. For this was the town used in 'Rambo First Blood'. So far, nobody has mistaken me for Rambo.
I'm living in Hope. Staying with two remarkable people who live in hope for a better future. Their story, their inspiration, their continued belief in positivity, in the face of adversity, leaves me with no doubt that this holiday is going to be a deeply profound and powerful time for all concerned. Upon my return to England, I shall do a detailed posting about this experience that I know will touch your heart.
In conclusion, I apologise that I've not been as interactive with you as I normally try to be. This reluctant recluse got away from his computer and truly challenged his fears, his apprehension, his 'inner critic'. I went out my front door, embraced humanity and had this sense of elation, a, 'what the hell I can do this', feeling. That, my friend, is a result.

And, Before I Go.

2011-05-05T23:28:00.000Z

And, before I go, one last look, as the sun rises and shines upon my English country garden.

And, before I go, one last look at the glowing lights in my English country garden.

Time for one more late night stroll and note the magic amongst the leaves.

Goodbye for now, my 'wee folks' friends.

And 'Scarecat' shall watch over the garden.

And thus, in just a few hours time, I shall be heading west. West to my other home, my other life, my other reality. One last glimpse of my English country garden. One last sleep and then it will be time to go. My friend, I shall see you on the other side.

Blog Air: Destination Vancouver.

2011-05-04T00:14:00.002Z

On Saturday, May 7, I shall be heading for Manchester airport to fly on the blogger's favourite airline, yes indeed, I'm flying on 'Blog Air', destination, Vancouver, Canada, eh.
I've no doubt that someone will notice me with my luggage outside my house and comment, 'Going somewhere nice?' Why the f**k do folks say that? I will probably reply, 'Going somewhere nice? Of course not! Why the f**k would I go somewhere nice when I can go on a world tour and visit the best sewage treatment plants on the planet!'
And where oh where shall I be sitting on 'Blog Air': destination Vancouver? Will I be sitting with the self-obsessed bloggers? Nope. Will I be amongst the self-promoting bloggers? Definitely not. Will I be in the section of the plane where the 'hey lets have yet another competition on my site, because I love y'all and it has nothing whatsoever to do with me trying to get more bloggers to follow my blog, bloggers'? Of course not. Will I be sitting beside a blogger who links into every blogging site they see and has like a thousand 'followers' after a week, because other bloggers notice their icon and thus link into their blog? Umm, no way. Will I be sitting amongst the blogger 'sheep' or as I call them 'Bleeps', who go to sites and heap praise and worship the self-obsessed blogger? No chance.
I suppose, based on the above paragraph, you might assume that I would be sitting in the cynical bloggers section of Blog Air. Me cynical? Never! Me sarcastic? Never been sarcastic in my life, ever!
No, this shy and humble blogger on his unassuming site, will be down in the cargo hold. Down there with the exotic animals, an iguana named Fred, a kiwi named Marvin and a couple of bloggers who do nothing but blogs about cats. Help me!
Of course, piloting the Blog Air plane is the true star of this blog, yep, Penny the Jack Russell pilot dog and modest internet star.

Ah yes, I can imagine the following announcement on Blog Air, 'This is your captain speaking. Captain Penny. Would you please fasten your seat belts. We are experiencing turbulence in the self-obsessed section of the plane. Apparently too many Bleeps are hanging around the self-obsessed bloggers and their excitement is causing the plane to shake.....'
And, upon my return from Vancouver? I've absolutely no doubt that some idiot will say, 'So, how did you find Vancouver?' Why the f**k do folks say that? Of course, I will reply, 'You stupid f**ker! I didn't find Vancouver. I left that up to the pilot. Penny the Jack Russell pilot dog and modest internet star.'

A Hint Of Sunshine.

2011-05-01T01:01:00.000Z

To the west, I see the setting sun. A hint of sunshine, obscured by clouds. And through my cloudy mind, I see my hint of sunshine, of better times to come.
Off to the west, far, far away, is the land that was once my home. Soon, very soon, this man, this reluctant recluse, will return to his other life, a life he almost forgot. Here, I sit alone, alone and oh so scared. Almost all I treasured, vanished with no answers to my questions of why it had to be. I return a humbled man. A man ravaged by a mental illness that pursued me, cornered me, almost killed me.
Yet, despite it all, I return as a man who knows that the hint of sunshine in my cloudy mind, grows ever brighter. Through the murky and foreboding clouds, the reassuring glow of the warm rays of hope, will be treasured, will be nurtured, will see me through the most important journey of my life. Indeed, a hint of sunshine, of better times to come.

And, most fittingly and thoughtfully, I have received the 'sunshine award' from Madeleine over at this wonderful site: Scribble and Edit If you have not had the delight and pleasure of visiting Madeleine's site, I would highly recommend that you kindly do so. There, you will discover her superb haikus, poems, prose and interest excerpts on her interactive site. Thank you, Madeleine, I am very grateful for this timely award.
I shall now forward this award onto three bloggers who may do with it as they so wish.

1. Reverie Sanctuary : My dear friend, Shanaz, writes beautifully and her stories are poignant, moving, uplifting. A ray of sunshine.
2. DC RELIEF : Dixie, over at her wonderful and thoughtful site, has been of great support and encouragement to me through some very dark times. For her kindness, I'm most grateful. A ray of sunshine.
3. W. M. Morrell's Musings From Down Under. : Although Wendy, at this interesting and informative, superbly written blog, is not blogging, just now, due to her concentrating on her writing, I want to thank her for all her inspiration and encouragement in my ongoing writing endeavours. I am most thankful to you. A ray of sunshine.

'X' Marks The Blogspot.

2011-04-28T00:02:00.001Z

I note that the 'A to Z Blogging Challenge!', yes, complete with the exclamation mark, for dramatic impact, is drawing to a conclusion! Not sure what that conclusion might be, but what the hell, y'all have learnt a bit more about the alphabet.

So, in the spirit of my alternative to that amazing 'challenge', I humbly present another instalment of the 'A to Zed Alphabet Challenge.'

'X' is for 'Xenaphobia', which of course, is the fear of a warrior princess from a foreign land.

'X' is for 'X-Ray Spex'. Gosh, just think of all the fun you could have. Be amazed and delighted, as you find that by wearing the glasses, you become a drooling, slobbering idiot who ends up being arrested, spends two days in jail and makes the front cover of the local newspaper as someone best avoided, because you are now known as the local pervert. In fact, the lynch mob, strings you up, butt naked and smears you with your own saliva. This does not bother you. You find being publicly exposed and humiliated in front of a angry gang of local folks, rather erotic and sexually stimulating.

'X' is for 'X-Ray'. Yes, this was predictable. Bet you could see right through this one. 'Doh!'

'X' is for 'Xerox'. Do you copy?

'X' is for The 'X Factor'. Not to be confused with 'Max Factor'. Did you hear what happened to 'Lady Clairol' ? 'Max Factor'! Seriously, The X Factor is 'car crash' television, where you get to watch 'really talented' singers all vying to be the next musical sensation. You sit there, watch the live show and secretly hope they screw up. You want them to rush off the stage, head down to the judges and punch them all in the face. And the winner of this 'reality' show? The winner would be someone who is adored for five minutes and then forgotten about after six minutes.
Evidently, X Factor was a replacement show for 'Poop Idol'.

'X' is for 'Xanadu'. Oh yes, the movie and the soundtrack. This is guaranteed to make you want to vomit violently and spend the rest of your evening slumped over your toilet bowl. Xanadu is as nauseatingly, sickly sweet as, gee whiz and shucks, 'Glee Club'. Of course, those who are overwhelmed with boundless joy, watching Glee Club, are affectionately know as, 'Gleeks'. Awe bless. And Xanadu? More like, 'Xanadon't'.

I know, there are load and loads of 'X's' that I could of used in this incredibly fascinating posting. 'X Box', The 'X Files', 'X-Force', 'Xmas' and 'X' partners. However, I know I'm slightly ahead in the alphabet than they are. Those who are excited to the point of piddling their pants, will know the 'A to Z Blogging Challenge' has only just reached 'W', 'Weeeeee'...and yippee! and thus, I don't wish to give those participating, too many ideas.
So, it's time for me to 'X' it........

Airing My Clean Laundry.

2011-04-24T01:07:00.001Z

Ah yes, my washing machine. I consider the friggin' thing quite agitating. I did struggle the first time I used it. The instructions made my head spin. Couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work. I pulled it away from the wall three times and had a look at the back to see if a pipe or something, had a kink in it. No kink, nothing kinky at all. Still it wouldn't work. Then I noticed that I had somehow switched on the timer delay. If only I had concentrated, but at least figuring it out took a load of my mind.
Anyhow, now that I've got your attention in what will prove to be a thrilling posting, I thought it vitally important to inform you that I did three loads of washing today! There you go, an exclamation mark for dramatic impact! Gosh n' wash!

And thus, for your delight, is some of my laundry hanging up on my clothesline. Note the upside down trousers. Please try and control your excitement!

Here, for you viewing pleasure, is yet another photo of my clothesline. Note the upside down t-shirt with some writing on it. Can you figure out what the word is on the t-shirt?

If you weren't sure what the word is on the t-shirt, maybe you now know. Actually, you can see there are two words and five moose (mooses?) sitting at a bar. Okay one of the moose is actually sprawled out on the ground.

Can you see the white garden chair off in the background?

You may also observe that the trees are now sprouting forth an abundance of leaves. Of course, if you click on any of these photos, you can see all these intriguing pictures in even more detail.
Yes indeed, I'm a multitasking or is it 'multi-tasking', single dad who has proudly raised his son on his own for over ten years. And speaking of proud, I am honoured to have received the following award.

I was flattered that 'Count Sneaky', who can be found over at this delightful site, full of amusing anecdotes and thought provoking musings and narrative. If you have never visited this site, I would highly recommend you do so. Here is the link to the site: Count Sneaky's Journal and here is what his award stated and I quote.

I am pleased to announce the newest blog on the block,

THE COUNT SNEAKY BRONZE AWARD FOR WHATEVER.

My very own award, soon to be coveted; or ignored; or despised.

It will be awarded(?) from time to time to anyone I deem worthy for

reasons of my own. There are no requirements whatsoever.

You might, if you like, write an acknowledgement or a decline of award

statement, or nothing at all, if you prefer. The first recipient of the

Award is my friend, Gary Phillip Pennick of "Klahanie. blogspot.com"

for being Gary, a good friend!

Huzzah!

(APPLAUSE)

I consider myself to be most fortunate that my good friend, Henry, over at Count Sneaky's Journal, thought of me as his first ever recipient for what I just know will be a highly sought after, highly treasured award. Thank you Henry and thus, it gives me much satisfaction to forward this award onto one very worthy blogger. I shall now dip my hand into my hat and pull out a randomly selected winner. And the winner of the 'Bronze Award From Count Sneaky's Journal For Whatever...2011 is Grandpa who can be found here :

Life on The Farm Grandpa does the most fascinating stories about his life and adventures living on a farm set in a tropical rainforest at the foot of the Malaysian mountain range. If you have never visited his farm, I would kindly suggest that you do so.

And there you go. This posting is 'clothes' to finishing. Some, or all may consider it, to use a British expression, 'pants'. Go on, take me down a peg or two. Then again, maybe we're on level pegging. And what about 'Jake the Peg with his extra leg'? If you click on the following link in red, you can also delight in the wonder of Jake The Peg Could Jake have been the first ever 'goody three-shoes'? And what of the pegs on my clothesline that have broken? Glad you asked. I shall be forwarded them to a synchronized swimming team, so that they can stick them on their noses.

The A to Zed Alphabark Challenge.

2011-04-19T00:59:00.000Z

Greetings. Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star. Gary aka 'klahanie' is quite busy in his preparations for his upcoming trip to British Columbia. He claims there are going to be loads of parades in his honour. I would suggest he's deluded.
And thus, I have agreed to write this posting and give the old chap a break. I note that after over four years of blogging, he has just passed the 200 'followers' mark. I think he should give me my rightful credit for even having that many. Whenever I do a posting, this site gets way more 'hits', whatever that means. Maybe Gary should take the hint and let me take over.
Anyhow, I have observed that a lot of you seem to be participating in something called the 'A to Z Blogging Challenge!'. Evidently, you write a topic that starts with the letter of the day. 'O', I believe today's letter is 'O'. Which means, I can go down the blog list and see loads and loads of blogs who are writing about 'O'. 'O' no.

Although, I've got much better things to do, like posing on the lawn, I thought I'd submit my own alternative to that fascinating other 'challenge'. Here is my 'A to Zed Alphabark Challenge'. Today's letter is 'P'. P is for p*ss. Whoops, P is for Penny, as in Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star.

P is for paws. Would you like to shake the paw of me, the famous, yet modest internet star?

P is for pondering. As in pondering why Gary expects me to stay still when he takes my photo.

P is for proud. I'm very proud to be a friend of the 'wee folks'. Just like me, the wee folks display unconditional and non-judgemental love.

P is for placid. I feel very calm and relaxed when Gary's son, Tristan, gently strokes my head.

P is for peaceful. Tristan has fallen asleep and I know I make an excellent blanket.

P is for pleasure. It's my pleasure to please. I know I am loved and the love I share for you is conveyed through my photos and through my words.
I wish you humans well in your own 'A to Z Blogging Challenge!' I enjoyed doing my very own 'A to Zed Alphabark Challenge.' However, that's it for me.

P is for peace.

Embracing The Inspiration.

2011-04-16T00:38:00.001Z

I've had the great honour and privilege to have the following award bestowed upon me by a truly remarkable blogger. With much gratitude, I accept the award.

So, here are the rules :

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded this to you.
2. Link posts by you and ten fellow bloggers that you find inspirational.
3. Forward the award to those ten fellow bloggers.

So, first of all, I wish to thank Nas at the following site Closing Pandora's Box  for thinking me worthy of the 'You are an...INSPIRATION! Award'. Nas writes one of the most beautifully crafted blogs that I've had the great privilege of reading. Thoughtful and articulate stories can be found at his intriguing blog.

And now for the ten fellow bloggers that I consider inspirational and an inspiring example post by them.

1.  GEM at this blog site, the modern day spinster....  has been a most delightful and thought provoking discovery. GEM writes intelligent and amusing stories that address the issues that a lot of would like seeing challenged. That would be the labels and stigma that so many of us encounter. Inspiring post example: Bachelors have more fun....?
2. David, over at, A Day in the Life is a man who writes with great passion and great intellect in his ongoing quest to see the elimination of the unfair stigma that still surrounds mental health issues. Inspiring post example: Dave's Progress. Chapter 116: Feeling Liberated.
3. Heather, who writes at, Soundoff  is clear and profound demonstration of "Looking for the Positive in ALL things!" Inspiring post example: Am I sad?
4. Joylene, who can be found at, Joylene Nowell Butler, author ONE MOMENT AT A TIME ON CLUCULZ LAKE  is a highly informative and supportive published author who also has expert advice from guest writers. Inspirational post example: What Inspires You to Write?
5. Kelly, who hangs about over at, Psycho Carnival  writes in various genres and I'm a big fan of his zany stuff and his serious writing. Inspirational post example: Controlling Your Show of Emotions and Imagination
6. LilPixi, can be discovered over at, It's A Lollipop World  This brilliantly funny young lady also shows a most caring and sensitive side. I also know that she is going through a very stressful time and her courage and resilience, despite of it, shines through in her latest posting. Inspiring post example: ICU Too, You're A Fine Nurse, But This Can't Be Happening
7. Kim will be found over at, CindyLu's Muse  This thoughtful site is the very epitome of kindness and compassion for the vulnerable creatures on our fragile planet. It is a clear display of proof that our friends in the animal world demonstrate to us, unconditional and non-judgemental love. Lessons that we humans could learn from. Many issues and worthy causes can be read about at this remarkable site. Inspiring post example: Horrible? Disgusting! And - ?
8. Rebecca writes a satirical blog at this site, THE SNEE  What makes Rebecca such an inspiration is because her satirical writing is testimony to her own resilience. I have a lot of respect for this kind and dear lady. Inspiring post example: PETA CONDEMNS BIBLICAL TEXT! Sacrificial lamb must be deleted!
9. Henry at this delightful site, Count Sneaky's Journal provides entertaining and humorous musings that gives one food for thought. Inspiring post example: No. 48
10. And finally and fittingly, I conclude this list of ten fellow bloggers with a glowing accolade for our little blogging buddy, Lenny, who, if you haven't already visited his wonderful site, can be found here, Lenny's World  This incredible young man is what inspiration and the ability to remain positive, is truly all about. Inspiring post example: show and tell...

In conclusion, if you are someone who has just recently visited my site because you found out about my satire alternative postings that took a good natured poke at the 'A to Z Blogging Challenge! and think that I only do tongue-in-cheek postings, I leave you with this and I do hope you take the time to read it. May you embrace the inspiration and be awash in the soothing calmness.   The Beach Of Dreams.

The A To Zed Alphabet Challenge. Something Beginning with 'K'.

2011-04-13T16:48:00.001Z

Well, I thought, yes I can think, well, I thought, what with that blogging challenge going on, the ( A to Z Blogging Challenge!), complete with the exclamation mark for dramatic impact. You can find out about that amazing challenge, if you don't already know about it, over at this site: Tossing It Out. Now, of course, 'Tossing' is a bit of a British innuendo, a euphism, that I won't go into detail here. Thus, I thought, I might as well do my very own blog on a letter that's in theme with the letter 'K'. And thus, today's posting is brought to you by the letter 'K'.

And speaking of tossing, you might want to grab a 'Kleenex', which of course, 'Kleenex' is actually a brand name, but the makers of Kleenex are very pleased that you use their brand name in reference to a paper tissue. Now, I wont take too long to do this posting, because I need to 'Hoover' the carpets.

O K, here we go.

Yep, that's me. No, not a brand of cereal, but special 'Klahanie', the shy, humble, modest and unassuming blogger who just wants to interact and rejoice in the diversity of all those wonderful people out in 'Blogsville'.

'K' is for 'Kwik-Fit'. Note the sheer joy of these dudes who just love to check out your exhaust system.

'K' is for 'K-Y Jelly'. Make up your own jokes......

'K' is for 'Katie Price' aka 'Jordan', so loved and adored, they named a country after her. Ah yes, Katie Price, best-selling 'author' and the inspiration for all aspiring writers, everywhere.

'K' is for 'Klahanie Swim Team'. See that, I'm more popular than I realised. They named a swimming team after 'me'.

'K' is for 'Kickapoo Joy Juice'. Yeee haaa!! The favourite ('favorite') drink of 'Lil Abner', but not exactly this version, y'all....

'K' is for 'K mart'. Not as convenient as 'The Alphabet Store' in Leek, Staffordshire, but would have been ideal for anyone participating in the 'A to Z Blogging Challenge!' and needing ideas for the letter 'K'.

And thus, those of you involved in that thrilling challenge, what the 'L' is next?

The 'Wee Folks' Springtime Special.

2011-04-09T02:46:00.000Z

It had been a most wonderfully warm and sunny early spring day. In the evening, I went for a gentle stroll in my garden and behold, there they were, the 'wee folks' and their friends.

I listened to the music created by the orchestra of nature. And to the sounds of such sweet symphony, the choir of the wee folks sang joyous songs of love, of peace, of kindness and compassion.

I suddenly felt confused. Perhaps my recollection of the wee folks and friends engaging in lustful frolic within the confines of my living room, was only a cynical dream. I felt ashamed that I could possibly think of those sweet and innocent creatures in such dark and disillusioning way.

And now, with my head clear and my thoughts free, I wandered through my darkened garden, Amongst the branches of a purple heather, looking so content, were Fidelina the beautiful fairy princess, her husband, Geoffrey the garden gnome and their lovely little boy child, Einahalk.

Thus, it was now the wee small hours and the loving trio pondered the tranquil scene as the whirling breeze made the blades of grass, dance and sway, dance and sway.....

Up in the high elevation of the garden, Scarecat stood so proudly in front of blossomed daffodils. Scarecat surveyed the magical world of the wee folks and knew that all was right in the enchanting lives of those blessed tiny creatures.

We, the people of the big world can live our lives where cynicism is our driving force. We can believe that everyone has a hidden agenda and is waiting for the right moment to betray us. Or, we can learn to trust, to care and remove the unfair labels that so many of us endure. The wee folks live in a world where no judgement, no assumption is ever made. Maybe one day, humanity will learn the lessons of the wee folks and finally realise that we are indeed, all different, all equal.

The A to Zed Alphabet Challenge.

2011-04-05T21:30:00.000Z

This posting may have to do with a canine, a squealing pig, a croaky amphibian, a passionate kiss, a marshy swamp or British toilet, a portion of a tree trunk or to keep a record of something, a very low misty cloud, a gentle run or something that helps your memory.

Thus, this might just be a dog, hog, frog, snog, bog, log, fog, jog blog, but it isn't.

Actually, I've noted that a lot of bloggers are doing some kind of 'A to Z Blogging Challenge!' Yep, even complete with an exclamation mark for dramatic impact! Of course, I would call it the 'A to Zed Blogging Challenge!' If y'all are living in the good ol' U.S. of A, you probably pronounce it the 'A to Zee Blogging Challenge!'
Well, as I've commented to a few bloggers, I don't need such a challenge because I've already learnt the alphabet.

I thought perhaps it might have something to do with the 'A to Z' challenge that is the great British road atlas. Turns out it has nothing to do with that. What it has to with is sort of explained in the next paragraph.

"What is the A to Z Challenge?
It’s blogging a letter of the alphabet every day (of) the month of April (with Sundays off for good 'behavior'.) It begins April First with the letter A and ends April 30 with the letter Z." And yes, my spell check notes that 'behaviour' is spelt wrong.
Well, that sounded easy enough. Just write down the alphabet over twenty six days, starting with the letter 'A' and ending up with 'Z' or 'Zed' or 'Zee'. I was hoping it could have been even easier than that. For instance just using bowels or constipation, sorry, I mean vowels or consonants. Hell, vowels would have been super easy. That would be five vowels, possibly six, if you include 'Y'.
Then I discovered, with my keen sense of observation, that you were actually doing a topic beginning with the letter of the alphabet for that particular day. I shudder to think what you might use as a topic for the letter 'F'.

And there I was, strolling through the lil' ol English town of Leek. I thought about those participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge! and what they might be using for inspiration for each letter. Gosh kids, imagine my surprise when I came upon this newly opened store. I bet there are loads of ideas for topics in 'The Alphabet Store'.
Of course, if you wanted a real challenge when it comes to alphabets, you might consider the Tamil alphabet. Tamil has 247 letters in it. 12 vowels, 18 consonants, 18x12 vowel-consonants and 1 special letter. Wow, that would keep one busy over a month, (with Sundays off for good behaviour).
Okay, seriously, if you are involved with the A to Z Blogging Challenge!, here's wishing you all the very best and have some fun. If you were trying to learn the alphabet, I leave you with this.
A - B - C - D - E - F - G
H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P
Q - R - S - T - U and V,
W - X - Y and Z
Now I know my A - B - C's
Next time won't you sing with me?

The Wee Folks Friends Equals Fun And Frolics.

2011-04-02T02:29:00.000Z

You can sure tell it's spring time in Britain. Out front of my home was an ice cream van. Luckily, when I took this photo, Mr. Ice Cream man had turned off his ear piercing musical tune. Every year it's the same bloody song. If I hear 'Popeye the sailor man', one more time, I shall rush out the house and shove a can of spinach up his great fat ass! After doing that, I will then proceed to place him under the soft ice cream machine, cover him with great globs of creamy goo, sprinkle the dude with chocolate flakes, nuts and strawberry syrup. And to complete his new look, I shall stick a cone on his head. Change the tune man, change the tune.

Anyway, I bet you would now like an ice cream and the 'great globs of creamy goo' was indeed a reference to soft ice cream. However, the above paragraph has dick all to do with the topic of this posting, which will, once again, be a waste of your time to read.

This time of the year the 'wee folks' and their friends are usually out in my garden, playing about and rejoicing in the wonders of spring. Imagine my surprise when I wandered into my living room and noticed our little monkey buddy with a rather shocked looking garden gnome. It may indeed be a case of spunky monkey making funky frolic on garden gnome's gleeful genitals.

And then I noticed the rabbit with a garden gnome appearing to be inspecting the rabbit's rectum. At least I think it's a rabbit. Or am I just splitting 'hares'?

Oh my, the garden gnomes are taking turns. Note the sheer delight as our wee gnome pal attempts to shove his hooter into the rabbit or hare's hair, which, I guess isn't really hare, I mean hair, but fur, or maybe it's also called hair on a rabbit, or a hare, as well as fur and I suddenly realise that I'm doing a run-on sentence and thus I shall stop hare, I mean hear, because I don't mean to rabbit on.....

So, what's this then? Could it be Teagan the best gnome from Fidelina's and Geoffrey's wedding, with Fidelina's sister bridesmaid, Venetia? There had been rumours of the two of them having a bit of romantic feelings for each other. 'Teagan buddy, say something! Venetia, speak to me.....ummmm..maybe not!'

And there you have it. It was late at night. Outside I could hear the gentle breeze swaying through the budding leaves. I heard the distant call of the night owl and the haunting sound of a wayward fox. Inside, the wee folks, a funky spunky monkey, a randy rabbit, or is it a horny hare, were having uninhibited, unabashed and kinky sex. Gosh and wow. Just when I thought my life was boring, I witnessed the wonders of the wee folks and their frolicking friends. And now, my dear friend, I share these photos with you.

Sorry mum, I know this photo is rather blurry. It's a photo of a photo and I don't have one of those fancy scanner things. See mum, all those years of scribbling notes have paid off. Note what really neat stuff I write like the wee folks and friends having a wild orgy in my living room. See you in May. Love Gary xx

'BS' Time.

2011-03-29T00:05:00.000Z

Over the weekend we 'celebrated' 'BS' time in Britain. Nothing like a bit of BS. And when I say 'BS', I'm not making reference to 'Behavioural Sciences', 'British Standards', 'Britney Spears' or the one you might be thinking of, 'Bull Shit'. Although, some might suggest that Britney Spears and Bull Shit are the same thing.

No, what I'm referring to is 'British Summer Time' or as y'all might call it where you live, 'Daylight Savings'. Now then, 'Daylight Savings' sounds like the name of a bank. These days, the 'Daylight Savings' bank, might seem more like 'Daylight Robbery'.

And thus, on Sunday, March 27 at 1:00 A.M., the clocks in Britain moved forward, one hour. This meant that the good folks in North America, were now one hour further behind us. For two glorious weeks, y'all were one hour closer. This was something I had to remember when I made my phone calls to British Columbia.

Anyway, enough of my BS in regards to BS time. The rest of this boring posting has to do with me receiving another, much to my surprise, award. Gosh, I'm so not worthy.

Before I go onto the award, here is a photo of my cock, I mean clock and my friend 'Scarecat' who will soon be out in my garden watching over the vegetable patch.

To my huge surprise, I have had the 'Stylish blogger Award' bestowed upon me again, not by one blogger, but by two. I am deeply touched that the two following bloggers considered me for such a prestigious and yes, much loved award. Thus I wish to thank BROWNDOGCBR , a site that is all about the adventures of everyday life of 'Hawk' or 'Hawkeye' the dog. If you have not visited this pawesome site, please go check it out. Thank you.
And also to my dear friend Heather at Soundoff who writes such provocative, thoughtful and highly inspirational stories of hope and gratitude. If you haven't visited Heather's site before, I would highly recommend that you go and read the stories of this amazing lady. Thank you.

The rules stipulate that I'm supposed to tell you seven things about myself and then forward this award onto seven notable bloggers. Now, I mentioned five things when I got this award before. The rules seem to keep changing. Anyhow, whatever, this time, I shall not bore you with anything about my shy and humble self.

This time, I going to forward the award on rather differently. There are just so many bloggers to choose from and it always puts me in a dilemma. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings who might have wondered why I didn't include them in my list. So, because of that, if you grace me with visiting my site, consider the 'Stylish blogger Award, well and truly yours.

Twilight In Leek.

2011-03-25T03:10:00.000Z

It was twilight. A glowing sun cast reddish hues upon the town of Leek. In the centre of the photograph is Waterloo Mill, now converted apartments, once a thriving silk mill. In the background is the cliff formation known as 'The Roaches'.

And as the sun dipped over the western horizon, I stood on the hill, not far from my home and I soaked in the beauty of twilight. Twilight at the end of a warm and sunny day. The church you see is named 'St. Edwards'.

To the north and the east, the shadows of darkness enveloped the sleepy little town of Leek. Leek, 'The Queen of the Moorlands' and just a few miles away from the magnificence that is the Peak District National Park.

I looked off into the distance. The twinkling lights, the remaining embers of a reddish pink sky, were reminders that is was to time to head home.
I do almost everything on my own. I sit in the living room, listen to the ticking of the clock, as the pendulum gently sways back and forth, back and forth. I sit here alone and in between the chatter that torments my mind, I hear the beating of my troubled heart. Gentle music plays sweetly in the background. I listen to the sounds and reach for the comfort of a melodic tune.
Soon, I will go to bed. Another restless night of staring at the waving shadows that dance and play on the bedroom wall. And I will wonder, yes I will wonder, will the dawn, the calling of the morning birds, ease my worried mind. Everyday is a new day, a new chance, a new hope that my sadness will end. And through my darkness, way off in the distance, maybe, just maybe, I will see the flickering remains of my beacon of hope.

Coffee For One.

2011-03-19T00:43:00.001Z

I went into my kitchen and grabbed my cup of coffee. Yes, my coffee, a moments distraction from the depressive thoughts that fill my mind. I've been feeling very sad. Saddened by recent events in our world where the forces of nature have caused such unimaginable grief, unbearable pain for mankind and the precious creatures of our fragile planet. I needed to get out, out of the kitchen, out of the house and down the steps. So off I went, coffee in hand, up the slope to the back of my garden. Time for a few fleeting moments of gentle reflection amongst the serenity of whispering wind through creaking trees.

I strolled to the top of the garden and looked upon yon further field. It was early evening at the end of a perfect sunny day. And above the horizon was that beacon of hope. Twas the upcoming night of the supermoon.

With my cup of coffee grasped firmly in hand
I look to the skies to understand
Ah, tis the night of the supermoon
And I listen so closely to nature's tune
Supermoon grasp my heart
Tell me our world in not torn apart

And through the denseness of thicket bush, I saw so clearly that supermoon.

And the supermoon cast its glowing light upon a darkened world.

I was back inside and I gazed upon the supermoon. A moon that was making its nearest approach to our delicate planet in eighteen years.
I sat there alone and had another coffee for one. I thought about the children with tears in their eyes. 'What has happened to mummy?' 'Where is daddy?' I thought about the little old lady, bemused and confused, as she wandered through the rubble that was once her home. I thought of those who are cold, scared and huddled together in temporary shelter. Devastation, trauma, grief and heartbreak, beyond my wildest comprehension. I think of those who lives have been shattered by the shaking of earth and swirling sea. And I think of those who've known nothing in their lives but the ravages of war. And I cry.

Hello Ogopogo.

2011-03-12T22:25:00.001Z

I am looking forward, with great anticipation, a trip back to my other home in May. I shall be visiting my 'adoring fans', back in British Columbia. One of the places I hope to be visiting is Kelowna, situated beside beautiful Okanagan Lake, in the heart of the Okanagan Valley. You can click Kelowna History to find out more.
Part of the history of Kelowna includes the legend of a lake 'monster' known as 'Ogopogo' or 'N'ha-a-itk' (pronounced Naitaka), by the Salish First Nations tribe. Naitaka means 'lake demon'. The name, Ogopogo, was evidently a parody of a British ditty and goes like this: "His mother was an earwig: His father was a whale: A little bit of head And hardly any tail-And Ogopogo was his name." For further info on Ogopogo or Naitaka, you can click on this link, The Legend of Ogopogo

Here is a photograph of my son at twenty one months old. To avoid confusion, the lady is his mother and the green creature is a replica of Ogopogo. This photo was taken at Kelowna City Park, way back in 1990.

Okay, enough of all this information. It's time for a 'serious' discussion. I tire of all the hype surrounded the 'Loch Ness Monster', or if you prefer, 'Nessie'. Because, as far as I'm concerned, Ogopogo is the most underrated and has been, for far too long, a shy and modest lake monster.
No more, I say, no more. It's time for Nessie and Ogopogo to 'battle' it out in a neutral lake to decide who is like the most awesome n' stuff, lake monster. I can see it now as the two slimy beasts go flipper to flipper in a contest to decide, once and for all, who's the mightiest of monsters from the murky deep.
So Ogopogo looks at Nessie and says, 'Hey Nessie, hows it goin eh!?' A puzzled Nessie responds 'Och aye Ogopogo! I am the amazing Loch Ness Monster, loved and adored my millions. Very few humans know who you are and they even made a movie about me! Beat that!' To which Ogopogo replies, ' Well, there's a replica of me in a park in Kelowna!'
And thus as the Canadian and Scottish fans cheer on these bitter rivals, the two lake monsters embrace and have rampant, unabashed sex. Due to this bizarre turn of events, no clear winner was realised. Although, I firmly believe, if Ogopogo had the inclination, Ogopogo would have kicked Nessie's Scottish butt so hard, that Nessie would have gone back to Scotland and drowned its sorrows in a bottle of the finest malt whisky.
'Ogopogo, the Movie', with the soundtrack that includes, 'Oh No Ogopogo' and 'Here We Go, Ogopogo, Here We Go', will be coming to a cinema near you.