tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post3458642262018317360..comments2024-03-27T22:57:59.870+00:00Comments on klahanie: Recognising Our Validity.klahaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-6158315865611360802012-11-08T00:16:33.912+00:002012-11-08T00:16:33.912+00:00Hi Susan,
Totally understand where you are coming...Hi Susan,<br /><br />Totally understand where you are coming from and you have added another thoughtful dimension to this. I consider understanding the needs of others goes hand in hand with our realistic sense of a balanced self-value. <br /><br />And the perception others had of you, which reflected in the comments in your annual, were very different to the underlying feelings you were contending with. I was the "class clown". Although I took delight on making others laugh and smile, nobody knew of the inner torment. Me thinks we are sensing a gift of empathy from your good and wise self. Thank you, Susan.<br /><br />In positivity and hope, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-388742540917225662012-11-06T16:33:32.960+00:002012-11-06T16:33:32.960+00:00Great post, Gary. I was never a fan of the societa...Great post, Gary. I was never a fan of the societal trend of concentrating of "building up self-esteem" in all children, regardless of whether or not they'd actually done anything worth patting themselves on the back for, if you know what I mean. That led to a number of people believing they were "entitled" to deference, and to a certain lack of empathy towards the needs of other people. However, a true sense of self value is essential in maintaining some sort of equilibrium. Oddly enough, I went through some really tough times as a teenager, and yet, most of the comments in my yearbook referred to me as being the person who was always smiling. Kinda like the song, where one whistles when afraid, and learns not to be afraid by virtue of whistling, I suppose. Anyhow, great post.Susan Flett Swiderskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09425315552148200073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-51574952907731755712012-11-03T00:52:40.129+00:002012-11-03T00:52:40.129+00:00Hi Suzanne,
Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russ...Hi Suzanne,<br /><br />Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog, answering on Gary's behalf:) He's gone for a nap. I know that Gary, just like I am, will be delighted with your most upbeat comment. He realises the importance of doing our best to maintain a a healthy mental health balance. And a strong YES! That is well cool. Okay, I shall have to admit, for a human, Gary is pretty cool! :)<br /><br />Have a lovely weekend in beautiful Victoria.<br /><br />Penny on behalf of her human, Gary :)klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-85972107924541815572012-11-02T05:56:25.151+00:002012-11-02T05:56:25.151+00:00Hi Gary:
Wonderful post!!! You have created an am...Hi Gary:<br />Wonderful post!!! You have created an amazing article that is thought provoking and deals with such an important topic. Thanks for sharing this important information. I have to say that I answer a strong YES to all your questions. Great questions!!!! <br /><br />You are the coolest!!!<br />SuzanneSuzanne Beanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14766065508913925928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-92022596645439904092012-10-31T03:09:46.677+00:002012-10-31T03:09:46.677+00:00Ironic name, but I had to come up with something S...Ironic name, but I had to come up with something SO unlike me, just to throw some stalkers off my trail who were hell bent on making my blogging life miserable.lotta joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12742978845913126675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-39557975093092095372012-10-30T23:42:46.247+00:002012-10-30T23:42:46.247+00:00Hi Julie,
Thank you for commenting on this now pr...Hi Julie,<br /><br />Thank you for commenting on this now previous posting. Indeed, often self-esteem issues can be traced back to childhood and the way we were treated. I know that in my case, my low self-esteem, did start at a very early age. And I then gave others permission to confirm that I was stupid and my dad was correct. It's something I have battled all my life. <br /><br />Thank you, Julie. This is quite the topic with so many different aspects being shared. This is a most profound meeting of the minds.<br /><br />With respect and positive wishes, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-27295614662440620952012-10-30T23:36:45.086+00:002012-10-30T23:36:45.086+00:00Hi John,
I know of your struggles, my friend. I&...Hi John,<br /><br />I know of your struggles, my friend. I'm so heartened that you continue to embrace all the positive resources and distractions available to you. You surround yourself with such support and I know that you can take away the energy of the negativity that tries to sabotage your right to a peaceful, happy life. Your journey along the positive pathway grows in strength. Like so many, I applaud you along that route.<br /><br />I shall, most assuredly, check out your new blog. Thank you, my friend.<br /><br />In peace and inspiring wishes, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-86519472950612275192012-10-30T23:30:07.134+00:002012-10-30T23:30:07.134+00:00Hi Caren,
I respect your painful candour. I know...Hi Caren,<br /><br />I respect your painful candour. I know it can be most traumatic to dredge up such pain. Yet I know you realise the severe impact the past can have on us. So, you know that what you and your siblings endured was not a real reflection on you all. We fight those ingrained feeling of not being good enough and find a way to raise our valid self-esteem. Nobody, but nobody has the right to devalue your thoughts and feelings. <br /><br />I admire your courage and determination and yes, it does get better because we know we are better than negativity.<br /><br />Thank you, Caren,<br /><br />Much respect and admiration, your way, Gary klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-40015652505901462002012-10-30T23:24:26.327+00:002012-10-30T23:24:26.327+00:00I just read your post on Self-Esteem, and decided ...I just read your post on Self-Esteem, and decided to go backward. This is an excellent topic that can't be reiterated enough. These feelings start in childhood, and could last a lifetime if overlooked. Thanks Gary! JulieEmpty Nest Insiderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10074223969046687064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-79761707718858905112012-10-30T23:20:11.241+00:002012-10-30T23:20:11.241+00:00Hi Joylene,
Your work in progress and improving w...Hi Joylene,<br /><br />Your work in progress and improving with age, attitude, is most healthy and encouraging. Of course, this posting can look at the now and if one is content with their self-esteem level. I'm gratified to know that you are enhancing a better self-image. <br /><br />I just want to inspire those that need some support and need to understand that a positive outlook you aspire to, can be of great benefit. Give yourself a hug, Joylene.<br /><br />In kindness and gratitude, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-74438912777181475382012-10-30T23:14:25.123+00:002012-10-30T23:14:25.123+00:00Hi Petronela,
My dear friend, and with your evalu...Hi Petronela,<br /><br />My dear friend, and with your evaluation, which may be more of a past environment influence, you are understanding that there is a positive focus forward in all those steps you take. Thank you and focus on that positive.<br /><br />In peace and hope, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-53981066902818896682012-10-30T23:10:39.511+00:002012-10-30T23:10:39.511+00:00Hi Hilary,
You are very kind and I thank you for ...Hi Hilary,<br /><br />You are very kind and I thank you for your most articulate and thoughtful response to this posting. I hope this series will bring further understanding about our interaction and perceptions with others.<br /><br />You have a healthy outlook of yourself. As you know, others perceptions can be distorted. One has to not make assumptions and those that do, should really try to 'walk a mile in your moccasins'. To return a positive out of a negative is a great attitude.<br /><br />Those bullies you speak of. Invariably, bullies have esteem issues and like to think, by being overbearing, that they can mask their insecurities through a form of intimidation. <br /><br />Cool, calm and the gentle approach to selfish situations, can sometimes get the selfish to rethink their stance. An open mind is a wonderful thing.<br /><br />Thank you, Hilary.<br /><br />In gratitude and peaceful wishes, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-31412807334978110072012-10-30T22:50:50.399+00:002012-10-30T22:50:50.399+00:00Hi Susan Kane,
Thank you for such a candid respon...Hi Susan Kane,<br /><br />Thank you for such a candid response to this posting. Change takes courage and determination. You are clearly demonstrating that and you have my utmost admiration. And yes, every once in awhile, we have to shake of the dust and continue on.<br /><br />I thank you, Susan. This is clear display of all of us trying to be here for each other. Understanding and awareness are powerful resources.<br /><br />In gratitude, your way,Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-60664478893325235732012-10-30T16:06:03.934+00:002012-10-30T16:06:03.934+00:00Hi Gary,
I can identify with every single thing on...Hi Gary,<br />I can identify with every single thing on that list and am finding it increasingly difficult to answer 'Yes' to any of the questions, but with help from those around me (and further afield) I am slowly adapting back into positive life. It will take a while, but I hope that I can make that journey.<br />J<br />p.s. If you get a chance Gary, could you visit my new blog 'Fragments of the Past'? Just click on the link below.<br /><b><a href="http://fragmentsfromthepast.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Visit my new blog 'Fragments of the Past'</a></b>Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14873306254026879892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-56089735201611511682012-10-29T18:19:44.658+00:002012-10-29T18:19:44.658+00:00This post touches me in more ways than you will ev...This post touches me in more ways than you will ever know. I grew up with a Mother who called us "the three living abortions" and constantly told us we were fat, stupid...we were always told how we were never wanted. To this day I battle with feeling "good enough" It is a life-long struggle that will never end but it DOES get better!Cat and DOG Chat With Carenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02666719374831725417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-509603524993382342012-10-29T18:05:18.502+00:002012-10-29T18:05:18.502+00:00I like to think of myself as a work in progress. I...I like to think of myself as a work in progress. I'm improving with age. I also hesitate to look back at some of those horrible moments when I was soaked in poor self-image. Wish I could hug that young girl now. Joylene Nowell Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04497637513532136615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-65041877570882339002012-10-29T12:53:35.163+00:002012-10-29T12:53:35.163+00:00I don't like myself very much, there is more t...I don't like myself very much, there is more to criticize than to admire...but the good thing is, that I've learned to take one step at a time. Thanks for the lesson Gary :).unikornahttp://unikorna.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-74000557953542195622012-10-29T10:31:28.459+00:002012-10-29T10:31:28.459+00:00Hi Gary - this is a great series because we can us...Hi Gary - this is a great series because we can use your words and thoughts, which are so valuable, when thinking and dealing with others.<br /><br />I'm fine with myself - but not everyone is happy with that .. and then I'm not happy with their perception. I do find that people don't put themselves in others' shoes and so can't understand the place the person is coming from ... it's something I've learnt in the last few years .. to take something positive out of the negative and give back the positive.<br /><br />It's what we do and think that matters - we can't and shouldn't dwell on others' perceptions or thoughts or words of us.<br /><br />Bullying comes in so many guises - big and threaty and thuggy, control and authority ... I experienced these during my mother's illness - it was a challenge to put it mildly ... some I could counter, some I just have to accept that's their thinking - however unfair it (appears only!) to me ... it was excruciatingly unfair. Luckily I didn't get the thug type variety .. <br /><br />Selfishness and lack of thought apply so often - people don't and won't think for a few seconds ... why is that being said, or being done that way .. they don't gently question to find the underlying cause. Reacting gently is a wise retreat ..<br /><br />These posts will help so many ... great articles - many thanks - cheers HilaryHilary Melton-Butcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596532480645510678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-81063901612336385692012-10-29T02:16:46.189+00:002012-10-29T02:16:46.189+00:00At an earlier section of my life, I would have che...At an earlier section of my life, I would have checked YES next to all those symptoms. It took some serious business with depression and people dying that made me force a change. I still have to give myself a good kick now and then.<br /><br />Thank you, Gary, for this post. It is so valuable and addresses some so-very-important problems.Susan Kanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09834094675218254410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-17991003336575965432012-10-28T20:56:38.336+00:002012-10-28T20:56:38.336+00:00Hi Kim,
Always wondered who "they" are ...Hi Kim,<br /><br />Always wondered who "they" are :) And with age comes wisdom. Then again, not always true and our wise thoughts may be clouded by a distorted view of the self. <br /><br />The most important thing is that you are secure about how you feel about yourself. With such wisdom and the learning from life experiences, I know you will never let a negative environment steal away your right to a peaceful, positive life. Keep focusing on that new start you so crave, my good friend.<br /><br />In peace and positivity, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-18785463623135797612012-10-28T20:51:06.179+00:002012-10-28T20:51:06.179+00:00Hi Shelly,
That's really encouraging. If you...Hi Shelly,<br /><br />That's really encouraging. If you don't feel the need to fret about yourself and you are happy and like who you are, then that's one heck of a positive result.<br /><br />Of course, my posting is to try and hopefully be of some comfort or confirmed reinforcement of someone's positive focus.<br /><br />Thank you, Shelly. Thanks for the hugs and if possible, British chocolate, greatly appreciated :)<br /><br />With respect and kindness, Gary<br />klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-88051072393733306292012-10-28T20:45:55.913+00:002012-10-28T20:45:55.913+00:00Hi Teresa,
I'm heartened that you found this ...Hi Teresa,<br /><br />I'm heartened that you found this interesting. Let's hope you will start to like yourself so much better. <br /><br />In peace and hope, your way, Gary xklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-7017343180604228102012-10-28T20:42:15.831+00:002012-10-28T20:42:15.831+00:00Hi River,
That's most encouraging and enjoy t...Hi River,<br /><br />That's most encouraging and enjoy the view from above the totem pole :) You have a healthy outlook and I admire that.<br /><br />I can certainly understand your reasoning for not going to places that you may be subjected to drinking and the passive smoke that is detrimental to your health. Nothing worse than the smell of smoke wafting from clothes.<br /><br />I am so glad you like who you are. I relate to that and deep down, I like who I am.<br /><br />Thank you, River.<br /><br />Have a peaceful and hopefully pain-free day.<br /><br />In kindness, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-14564413846268789712012-10-28T20:36:36.625+00:002012-10-28T20:36:36.625+00:00Hi Old Kitty,
And four yes's would be quite a...Hi Old Kitty,<br /><br />And four yes's would be quite a positive outcome. Still, must be realistic and make adjustments accordingly. <br /><br />Absolutely, our environment is a vital factor of how we feel about life and ourselves. We need positive distractions and resources in our lives. Sometimes when one feels trapped in overwhelming negativity, it takes a lot of determination to bring about some changes. And bless our animals, treasured family members who bring us that loving, happy focus.<br /><br />Thank you, Old Kitty.<br /><br />And you take care of YOU :)<br /><br />Gary<br />xklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4219984917795758890.post-87249198015863649862012-10-28T20:30:18.387+00:002012-10-28T20:30:18.387+00:00Dear David,
Yes, you can try to please too much a...Dear David,<br /><br />Yes, you can try to please too much and as you know, that can compromise how we truly feel about the situation. Going with the flow when you don't really want to, just builds up frustration. And I know you made some adjustments conducive to your own personal betterment. <br /><br />And yes, bazza and you are quite right in what you mention. Overly assertive people can be most stifling and may not respect your personal space. Yes, keep that stiff upper lip and just smile, smile through gritted teeth. <br /><br />I suppose this posting can get one to evaluate their lives, whether positive or negative or somewhere in between. Oh great, I'm stuck in cabin during a winter storm and my number one fan has tied me down.<br /><br />Thank you, David. You intellectual giant of a man!<br /><br />In peace and some fish n' chips, your way, Garyklahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.com